Grocery Lore

A place to continue round robins, and write silly skits.

Moderators: blackrose, Calla Lily

Calla Lily
Anime Junkie
Posts: 803
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2003 11:21 pm
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Contact:

Grocery Lore

Post by Calla Lily »

a/n: Whoa, when was the last time I actually posted anything here?
Dedicated to casper_san. Cuz she knows she hot. :-P


CHARACTER: Lucrezia Noin
RATING: PG for some potty mouth



Grocery Lore


Lucrezia Noin hurried into the store, legs wobbling and bangs flying into her face. It was Saturday and as usual, her favourite market was packed full of people who also heard about their spontaneous weekend sale. Besides, there was a three for one special on canned foods and up to twenty-five percent off in the meat department. No way was she going to miss this event.

Jamming a quarter into the shopping cart she shovelled her way through the crowds in the parking lot. One woman with a toddler took a glance at her belly and hastily shuffled her child behind her legs. The motion-sensor door parted like the gates to grocery heaven and Noin dug her sandalled heels into the cement.

"Hey!"

That damned blonde woman, she budged right in front of her without apologizing. Instead, the woman glanced backwards and blew a raspberry. A vein popped in her neck and despite her swollen ankles, decided to give the bitch something to talk about.

They raced across the mall to Caper's.*

Dang, if only she wasn't eight months pregnant she could have caught her in time and shoved her into one of the mall's island benches, sending her purse straight into the potted plants.

In aisle three where chips and salsa could be found, Noin found some very appetizing cirtus-lime flavoured nachos that would go well with her three-cheese sauce back at home. Standing on her tiptoes to reach the shelves, another hand snatched the particular bag she wanted.

"Sorry, me first." She replied with a criminal grin and sped away on her cart before Noin could chuck the romaine lettuce at her.

Noin got twelve cans of red kidney beans whereas her rival only for six.

They both received rainchecks on the ground beef for a previous customer had just bought the remaining stock. But don't worry, they can come back tomorrow and for sure it'll be there.

She heard the other woman grumble about how she needed the ground beef *now* for the large dinner she was having that evening. Noin couldn't help but grin and made sure that the other woman saw it too.

They both reached the cashier at the same time but with a long lineup of seven people behind them, Noin was allowed to take her groceries with her and proceeded with the process of reaching down into the cart and placing them on the mechanical belt. After lifting the six-pack of pop on the belt, she massaged her back.

Gah, if only she wasn't so damned big around the belly.

As the cashier was staring uncertainly at her and how she was going to get a bag of rice onto the belt, the other woman with the twin blonde braids lifted it out of her cart and onto the black rubber. With a slack jaw Noin watched as her rival emptied her groceries, thinking that she had been wrong about her but then the woman proceeded with her own groceries and to the horror of the cashier, placed them right beside each other without one of those sticks.

"Back off, bitch!" Noin's high-strained voice made the cashiers in the other lineups wince. "I can do this on my own!"

And the blonde woman flicked back her hair from her shoulders and retorted,

"You first, bag."

Crinkling her nose to match her frown, Noin inhaled sharply through her nose and said, "Sally, you're so damned irritating!"

And Sally Po laughed.

The cashier, whose face was pale as a sheet of paper, broke the little scene with a nervous cough and looked towards the pregnant woman for an explanation.

"Err, I know her. We're best friends."

The look on the girl's face was worth all the Heero blackmail in the world. Laughing in relief, Noin's groceries were all neatly packed away in large paper bags as she handed over her credit card.

"Hey ladies, could you hurry it up?" Another female voice remarked from behind Sally. The two women whipped their heads back to lash out their tongues before eyeing a cart full of the same ground beef advertised in the flyers that the meat department had so generously lacked.

"Yeah, that's right. I got all the meat." Relena mentioned smoothly, leaning onto the handles and smiling ever-so-nicely.

"Bitch," said Noin.

"Yep. That's means I'm the one who makes the tacos tonight."




Notes:
* Caper's is an actual grocery store (Canada-wise) but unlike large supermarkets, they specialize in fresh produce and organic foods.
"Chaos will always triumph over order; it is the way of things." ~Hexadecimal, ?Game Over?

<a href="http://dragon-faere.livejournal.com/">Dragon Faere</a> / <a href="http://hermonthis.livejournal.com/">Hermonthis</a> / <a href=" http://www.fanfiction.net/u/187494/">Pit of Voles</a>

RelenaDorlinYuy1
Bishounen Strip Club Special Guest|Mobile Armor Pilot in Training
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 12:47 am
Location: Waianae , Hawaii
Contact:

Post by RelenaDorlinYuy1 »

Hahahaha that was funny muhahahaha GO NOIN :lol:
Image
Image <---- Kawaii so desu a ne :D---->Image

HiFreak
Fanfic demi-god(dess)|Fanfic demi-god|Fanfic demi-goddess
Posts: 267
Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2006 6:22 pm
Location: California

Post by HiFreak »

Wow your really got me there. I NEVER would have guessed it was someone she kenw, specially not Sally.
\"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to understimate the ingenuity of complete fools.\" -- Douglas Adams Mostly Harmless Book 5 of The Hitchhiker''''s Guide to the Galaxy

" A God that men can percieve isn't really a God, is it?"

Raspberry
Anime Junkie
Posts: 1233
Joined: Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:24 am
Location: If Hell is The Deepest South, than I am at the bottom!

Post by Raspberry »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: OMG, Calla Lily, did I tell you your stories are HILARIOUS?!

Isn't in insane, though? G-Boys are challenging themselves on the battlefield, while ladies... well, basically the same - super-markets are also battlefields, what Calla proved oh-so-well xD

Hilarious, genious, great job! :salute: :cheer: :allright:
How crazy
Stop talking about me as if you know me
How crazy
I?ve been running away from the ship
sinking in the depths of the ocean

Song How Crazy by YUI

Just be yourself.

Calla Lily
Anime Junkie
Posts: 803
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2003 11:21 pm
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Contact:

Post by Calla Lily »

Thanks for the comments - and I apologize for the belated reply (somehow, my email didn't receive the message)

And that reminds me, I gotta wrote some more GW. :D
"Chaos will always triumph over order; it is the way of things." ~Hexadecimal, ?Game Over?

<a href="http://dragon-faere.livejournal.com/">Dragon Faere</a> / <a href="http://hermonthis.livejournal.com/">Hermonthis</a> / <a href=" http://www.fanfiction.net/u/187494/">Pit of Voles</a>

pilot03
Under Rose's Protection...As long as he's at her beck and call|Mah Coffee Bitch|Plushie <s>Molester</s> Panty Thief
Under Rose's Protection...As long as he's at her beck and call|Mah Coffee Bitch|Plushie <s>Molester</s> Panty Thief
Posts: 5835
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2003 5:55 pm
Location: Icha-Icha Paradise
Contact:

Post by pilot03 »

I have a whole new fear of women now. :pale:
\\\"First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me........blow.\\\" - Ash;Evil Dead

\\\"I''''m just living a dream I can''''t wake up from....\\\"
- Spike Spigel; Cowboy Bebop

*Ravisher in training* Club Beer

<s>Long Live for a reasonable time expectancy 3xR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </s>

Thief of panties and hearts... 8)

<s>Part-time coffee boy..</s> :dunno:

Ph.d. of Pervertness :cheer:

The Perfect Employee

Morrighan
Assistant Manager of Club Beer||VP of Product Testing - BI Hentai Club
Posts: 8490
Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2002 6:00 pm
Location: Enjoying the summer
Contact:

Post by Morrighan »

*ROFLMAO* Oh, I definitely wasn't expecting that.... XDXDXDXD

Awesome, awesome job, Lu! :D
<i>?I always know you?re about to say something very sweet or very stupid when you use my full name??</i>

Why yes, I <i>am</i> a saucy wench. :-P

<a href=\"http://morrighangw.livejournal.com\">Portal Into Immortality</a>
<a href=\"http://morrighangw.deviantart.com\">deviantART Profile</a>
<a href=\"http://namelessagency.livejournal.com\">The Nameless Agency</a>
<a href=\"http://building65.livejournal.com\">Building 65</a>

Kane Shi Megami
Anime Junkie
Posts: 1000
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:42 pm
Location: Under a stack of paper work.

Post by Kane Shi Megami »

Hilarious! Loved it :) Totally caught me off guard with the Sally thing.
\"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."~ Mahatma Gandhi

Naruto sprite from <a href=\\\"http://jinchuuriki.org\\\" target=0>JinchuurikiORG</a> made by Akurei Karasu. More of her wonderful artwork can be found there also.


MXC is the cure for depression

http://kane-shi-megami.livejournal.com

AnShino
Writing fanfic is not a terrorist action|Mech Pilot Fanboy
Posts: 1521
Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:10 pm
Location: Neverland...it's a place where dreams come true..

Post by AnShino »

Oh Lu. XD Actually I thought it was Relena that was her rival XD. Love, love, LOVE your silly shorts!
Image

Calla Lily
Anime Junkie
Posts: 803
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2003 11:21 pm
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Contact:

Post by Calla Lily »

Oh you crazy people! Since I *actually* work at a produce store, there's bound to be some crazy things you see in those aisles!
"Chaos will always triumph over order; it is the way of things." ~Hexadecimal, ?Game Over?

<a href="http://dragon-faere.livejournal.com/">Dragon Faere</a> / <a href="http://hermonthis.livejournal.com/">Hermonthis</a> / <a href=" http://www.fanfiction.net/u/187494/">Pit of Voles</a>

Post Reply

Return to “Silly Shorts”