Also, I've got several other fics in the works, one is an AU 1xR and the other is a lemon. I certainly hope the lemon will turn out well, because it's been a long time since the last lemon I wrote.
I don't expect to be forgiven by you or by anyone. I made a decision to protect you, but I didn't know how much it would hurt you.
-- Trial By Fire (Gundam Wing AC / 1xR)
"We were soldiers once and we've been soldiers far too long...After a while, the idea of peace becomes such a faraway dream that you don't know if you'll actually live to see it."
-- Rebel Heart (Gundam Wing AC / 1xR; AU)
This was too good to be true for him. Relena was actually fulfilling the one fantasy he had of her that he thought would be taboo.
-- A Little Bit of Latex (Gundam Wing AC/ 1xR; NC-17)
*******
"Relena! I'm so glad you're home safe!" Noin rushed up from her place on the sofa to greet her sister-in-law at the door. She had been waiting anxiously for the younger woman to come home just as her husband had been.
Relena nodded back. "Good evening, Noin. I'm sorry I'm late. How're the twins?"
"Sleeping like babies. Your brother tucked them in since they're horribly attached to him," Noin replied, her smile growing wider when she noticed Heero step in, carrying Relena's briefcase. "Good evening, Heero! Thank you for taking the time to drive Relena home."
"It's no problem," Heero said. "Just doing my duty."
Her indigo eyes twinkling, Noin ushered them quickly into the foyer as William, Pargan's nephew and their new butler after the old man passed away two years ago, took their coats. "I had some tea brewing just now, you two. Anyone in the mood?"
Waving her hand politely, Relena shook her head. "It's fine, Noin. I have a lot of work to do. I'll have some brought up later." She then turned to William. "Please, have one of the cars ready for Agent Yuy. It wouldn't do him good to walk home."
"Oh, no no no no, that won't do," Noin interrupted. "Relena, we'll have Heero sleep in one of the guest rooms. You're going to need him to drive you in the morning after all. David is still on sick leave."
All the while that this was going on, Heero remained silent, trying not to look at the two women. Noin was getting very insistent and although he wanted to make sure that Relena was safe, even in her own house, the thought of sharing one roof with her for the night suddenly intimidated him. That and the fact that her older brother also lived in the same mansion.
When he looked up, the blue eyes that met him were indifferent. "I understand, Noin. William, please have the guest room in the east wing ready for Agent Yuy."
"Of course, Miss. Will that be all?"
Relena regarded Heero thoughtfully and then nodded before turning around and climbing the stairs. "That will be all, William. Good night, Noin. Sleep well, Agent Yuy. I'll need you to be ready before five thirty tomorrow morning."
As her footsteps faded, Noin turned to Heero and sighed. "I guess she's tired. She put in another long day, huh?"
Heero nodded. "Her meeting with the twenty-third delegation went well, except for one asshole by the name of Stanton."
Noin chuckled as she walked back to the kitchen, gesturing for Heero to follow her. "Ah, yes, that one. I've never liked him either. And Milliardo has often made it known to us of his extreme dislike in that man. And my sons just think he would have made a good Santa Claus if he weren't such a grouch." She poured a generous amount of tea in two mugs and handed one to Heero. "Sugar?"
"No thanks."
The older woman nodded and sat down at the table, folding her arms on it. Heero took the seat adjacent to hers and sipped his tea carefully. They were silent for a few minutes when Noin spoke again.
"Relena's become a different woman."
"Hn...Yeah..." Heero mumbled, staring into his mug. He didn't know what else to say, Noin had already pointed it out to him.
"I guess you could say she's been weighing a lot of things on her mind as of late," she continued, taking Heero's silence as encouragement. "I've been wanting to confide this in someone, but with the children and Preventer work, Milliardo and I haven't even had the time to discuss what's happening to her.
"She's made a lot of decisions that have cost her a normal life, ever since she was a teenager. We all have." Here Noin picked her mug up again and took a sip. She sighed and looked at Heero. "I've heard some of the younger staffers at the Preventers have labelled Relena as the Frigid Bitch. While I don't like the implication, I can't help but feel that maybe they're right."
Heero nodded, his blue eyes fixed on the table as he thought this out carefully. "I understand their sentiments," he replied softly. "She makes me...us...well, we all feel small standing next to her now."
Noin nodded and placed a gentle hand on Heero's arm. "I know it's been hard for all of you. You, most especially, Heero, since you've been assigned to be closest to her at this time. We've seen each other grow up and we've established friendships that we know will carry on into the end of our lives. Relena has been with us through everything important. And now, we have to be there for her.
"I think," she added. "Relena needs all of us now, more than ever. Whether she will admit it or not..."
Heero nodded. He then looked over at the calendar hanging on one part of the wall and his throat suddenly ached. Tomorrow was the anniversary of one of the most memorable days of his life. It was the first of many moments that he could remember with startling clarity. His throat closed up and he ducked his head all of a sudden, not trusting himself to speak. There was pain in his chest, spreading throughout until it hurt to breathe.
Tomorrow...
"Tomorrow is a special day for you, isn't it, Heero?" Noin's kind voice broke in as he felt her squeeze his arm. He looked up at her.
"I met her for the first time at the beach, ten years ago." His voice sounded strange...hollow, even. He wasn't even sure it belonged to him.
Noin smiled, although there were tears in her eyes. She felt Heero's pain and she understood how hard it had been for him to accept his humanity. Her husband had gone through that same trauma and she had been there to witness every tear he learned to shed. She had cried and laughed for him and as he slowly began to accept his new role in her life, their love grew. She was much older now, a wife and a mother, but her past as a soldier would forever be etched in her life. It was something she would never be able to deny and she knew she had to live with. How much more for these young men who piloted the Gundams. She had met them when they were even barely men and now each of them had grown out and survived wounds that would have taken an entire lifetime to heal had it been an ordinary individual in their place.
Heero took a deep, shuddering breath. "I...Relena showed me something that day. I never thought I'd understand it, but I became human because of her." His hands fisted until his knuckles turned white. "It's been ten years since I first met her...She made me believe that I had a choice...that my life meant SOMETHING..."
"And you made a choice because of her," Noin guessed.
"Not just that..." He whispered. "I made a choice for her. I chose to live because she was alive..."
*******
He couldn't sleep.
There was too much to think about. Heero knew that in one of the many rooms in the Peacecraft Mansion, Relena was still hard at work, in spite of the time. He turned on the table lamp, squinting momentarily when the light glared and hurt his eyes. Glancing quickly at his watch, the digital numbers read 1:30am. The sheets were cool from the night air coming in from the open windows and they tangled wih his legs as he rose up from bed. Kicking them away, he strode over to the balcony, stopping when he noticed a slight form moving slowly across the expansive gardens.
Bracing his palms against the ledge, he strained to get a closer look, his breath catching when he noticed it was Relena. Suddenly, he no longer felt the cold air on his bare chest. All he cared about was the girl who was standing below, moonbeams entangled in her hair as she looked up at the sky. The thin robe she wore around her draped across her slender shoulders like a cape, effectively hiding her curves, but to him, she had never looked so beautiful.
Her hair was down, cascading from her shoulders down to her back. He could not get a close look at her eyes, but he knew how echanting they looked, glittering like stars. Her skin was paler in the moonlight, almost ethereal and Heero ached to touch her, to know what her skin would feel like beneath his fingertips.
'She's still out of your league, Yuy. No matter what you do, she'll always be out of your league.'
Heero shook his head as he cast one last longing glance at Relena before retreating to his room to think.
"I didn't give up on her then. I won't give up on her now."
~TBC~
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boy... this is so SAD!!!
