Home Alone
Walking back to her room after cleaning herself, Kagome braced herself with her bathrobe. She locked the door behind her.
For some uncertain reason, she was feeling very unsure of herself. Well? she always does after she messed around with herself.
Hmm? School uniform or sweatshirt for home?
Think, think, think?
A rapping on her window startled her thoughts.
Knowing who that was, her eyes widened with fear and her heart started to pound.
Oh shit.
?Oi Kagome, open up!?
What to do?! Her mind and heart seemed to tangle with each other.
Get a grip, baka, she told herself. Open the window and act the way you should!
The way I should?? Kagome asked herself untrusting.
The tapping continued.
?Kagome! You?re there, so open up!?
The way you should ?your silly schoolgirl self!
Oh, that part! Kagome thought. Making sure her robe was wrapped securely about herself, she pulled aside the curtains and opened the window, revealing a fuming Inuyasha.
Kagome folded her arms across her chest. ?What is it you want??
Inuyasha raised a cynical brow. ?Huh? You of course!?
Realizing what he just said, he scratched the back of his neck and frowned. ?I mean, I came here to get you back!?
Now he was starting to blush because of his words.
?Cut the crap, Inuyasha,? Kagome quickly replied without emotion. ?You know I?ll be back there in no time.?
Then she noticed his ears twitch. His eyes started to roam around the room and started to wrinkle his nose.
Oh darn, how could she be so forgetful? That nose of his was too sensitive! ?Get back to the well, Inuyasha?? She started to push him back to the window.
?Wait? something smells?? Inuyasha frowned, trying to figure the intoxicating scent that lingered in the room. Yeah Kagome smelled good but this was much more? enticing. ?Smells? good.?
Kagome wanted to disappear then and there. She could feel the blood rushing to her face. If he stayed longer, his nose might actually lead him to figure out that she?
?Get out, NOW!? Kagome exclaimed loudly, pushing him over the window. Saying ?sit? would not be such a good idea, since he would stay longer in her room. She needed to get him out and that was the best way!
After a loud thump and an angered swear from the hanyou, she hurriedly closed the window and pulled the curtains to cover the glass window. Rushing to the door, she grabbed the doorknob and swung it to and fro, hopefully letting out whatever smell Inuyasha sniffed and letting in some fresh air.
Her feelings were in disarray, was she embarrassed or angered? It was hard to be sure since she was still recovering from the aftermath of her self-stimulating activity.
After a few minutes of getting ready to get back to the feudal era, Kagome took her time as she walked towards the well. She recalls Inuyasha earlier. Darn? what if he smells her again? She knew that the smell caught his attention.
Positioning herself on a sitting position to jump through the well, Kagome suddenly felt weak. Emotions started to stir within her bosom. Emotions of pain, guilt, anger and annoyance mixed up inside her.
Why? Why was she feeling so empty?
Many people would say that masturbation was okay for people who had sexual frustration.
But for Kagome, it was simply an escape from reality. What made her dread the act was that she was in love with somebody. Every time she fucked herself, she could not bear to think of Inuyasha.
Guys use love to get sex and girls use sex to get love.
It wasn't that she was imagining Inuyasha doing erotic things to her, instead she was trying to find that feeling of love in her soul every time she stimulated herself.
The reality of Inuyasha?s ignorance of her physical and emotional needs put her out of the mood and made her feel useless emotionally.
Maybe Inuyasha thought that this kind of stuff was just a complete waste of time.
Hell yeah. That reason could have been effective if Inuyasha never even fussed over Kikyo.
Its one thing Kagome could never get to understand.
Why couldn?t Inuyasha be as frank with his feelings towards her as he did Kikyo?
Was it so selfish to want that feeling, that same old magic that brought people together? Why was she put in such circumstances, her first love an utter perplexity?
Kagome did not even want to think about the future of completing the jewel. After that, what next? It would be such a pain to even think of what would, should and could really happen then.
Was it so wrong to give importance to her heart right now? Wasn?t it the main reason why she kept coming back?
A fresh burst of hot tears fell on her cheeks. ?Stop being so self-centered Kagome!? she scolded herself. Wiping her tears from her face, she took a deep breath to make the natural color of her face come back.
Yes, do what you always do. Weep a thousand times and be your strong self when you enter the well. No one would be so pleased to see a weak-hearted female. Face them like nothing happened.
But that was just it, wasn?t it? Nothing happened. Nothing will ever really happen.
***
A.N.
I?m not as good as veteran fanfic authors so please excuse my wrong grammar or spelling if there are any. Please do give a comment. ^_~ 