[Bleach] Shinigami Truth or Dare (Part 1) - PG-13

[nightkat01]

Title - Shinigami Truth or Dare
Author - Kat
Rating - PG-13 for swearing
Disclaimer - Last time I checked, Bleach is not mine. Neither is Soujuku Chiyuu. Chiyuu is the creation of FF.net author Kaeru Soyokaze, who graciously allowed me to borrow her for the story (more on this in the notes). Red vs. Blue is not mine either. Oh yeah, Estella doesn't belong to me. She's actually a real person.

Authors notes at the end.

I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors.

On with the show!

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Italics - thoughts



It was a typical evening in Seireitei.

?Someone pass me the bottle!?

?Oi, Shunsui! Don?t you think you?ve had enough? Quit hogging the alcohol!?

?You?re one to talk, Renji. You?ve had almost as much as him.?

?Ano, Abarai-kun??

Typical indeed.

Earlier that evening, Matsumoto Rangiku had gotten the brilliant idea to invite some of her fellow shinigami over to her place for some drinks.

Abarai Renji and Hisagi Shuuhei immediately accepted, and as soon as Kyouraku Shunsui found out about the get-together, he wanted in as well. Of course, his dutiful Vice-Captain Ise Nanao had to go along, just to make sure he stayed out of trouble.

Not being one to turn down the opportunity for free alcohol, Zaraki Kenpachi went as well accompanied by his loyal sidekick, Kusajishi Yachiru.

?Hitsugaya-taichou, why don?t you join in on the fun as well? You too, Hinamori-chan,? asks an already tipsy Rangiku.

Why did I come to this? thinks Hitsugaya for the eleventh time that night. He continues to watch his colleagues drink themselves into a stupor. Oh yeah, to make sure Rangiku stays out of trouble.

Rangiku refills her sake cup and takes a sip. ?You know what this party needs?? she states a matter-of-factly, ?A game.?

Renji shrugs and looks at Rangiku. ?Sounds good, but what should we play??

Everyone falls silent as they think of an appropriate game. Finally Rangiku speaks up.

?How about Truth or Dare??

One by one, the shinigami begin to nod in agreement. ?Works for me,? replies Shuuhei, ?but who should go first??

After a couple quick games of rock-paper-scissors, it was decided that Hitsugaya goes first.

?Dammit,? he grumbles under his breath.

?So, truth or dare?? asks Rangiku.

Hitsugaya groans inwardly. Why did I agree to this? ?Dare.?

The group looks at each other with raised eyebrows. ?Whoa! What?s this? The great Hitsugaya Toushiro actually agreeing to a dare?? Renji raises a hand to his mouth in mock surprise. ?You think you can handle it??

Hitsugaya cocks an eyebrow. ?Try me.?

Everyone huddles together to discuss his dare. Thirty seconds later they break apart and look at him again.

Hitsugaya just stares at them. ?What? What is it??

Shunsui points his sake cup at him. ?You have to do?the teapot dance.?

?The what??

Kenpachi laughs. ?Don?t tell me you don?t know ?I?m a Little Teapot???

Yachiru jumps up and down and cheers. ?Yay! I love that song! I?m a little teapot, short and stout?? she starts to sing.

Hitsugaya?s eyes grow wide. ?Hell. No.?

Shuuhei smirks. ?We almost forgot the best part.?

?Best?part??

With a huge grin, Renji pulls out a stuffed pink bunny. ?You have to dance with this while singing.?

Hitsugaya covers his face with his hands, shakes his head and swears under his breath. ?Fucking?fine, I?ll do it.? He grabs the bunny out of Renji?s hands and walks to the middle of the room.

Momo?s voice stops him. ?Shiro-chan, you don?t have to do this.?

Hitsugaya turns to her. ?No, I have to.?

Renji lightly hits Momo on the head. ?Yeah, why do you have to be such a spoilsport? Lighten up and enjoy it, it should be funny.?

Hitsugaya finally reaches the middle of the room, takes a deep breath, and begins to sing:

?I?m a little teapot, short and stout,?

?Ain?t that the truth,? mumbles Kenpachi.

?Yeah! Sing it!? cries out a drunken Shunsui.

*whack!*

?Ow! Nanao-chan, what was that for?? he whines, rubbing his head.

?Shhh! Let him continue,? says Rangiku.

?Here is my handle, here is my spout,?

?You?re not dancing! And let?s see a little more feeling in it!? yells out Renji.

Hitsugaya shoots him a look that could?ve melted ice. ?Every time I steam up, hear me shout,? with this he spins around with the bunny, nearly hitting Kenpachi on the head.

?Hey! Watch it!?

?Tip me over and pour me out.? As soon as he finishes, he throws the bunny as hard as he can at Renji, hitting him on the face, sits down, crosses his arms, and scowls.

?Ow!! What the fuck was that for?!? cries Renji, as he peels the rabbit off his face and tosses it off to the side.

The rest of the group claps, and pours themselves another round of sake. Rangiku giggles, and raises her cup to Hitsugaya. ?That was?wonderful taichou. I never knew you had such a lovely singing voice.?

Hitsugaya directs his scowl towards her. ?Keep it up, and you?ll be doing ALL the paperwork this week.?

Rangiku lowers her cup and clears her throat. ?All right, who?s next??

Shuuhei smirks and looks at her. ?How ?bout you? Your captain went; it?s only fair you go.?

Rangiku crosses her arms across her chest and eyes everyone. ?All right, I choose truth.?

?What do you really think of Ichimaru-taichou??

The group turns and stares at Nanao, who stares back at them while adjusting her glasses. ?What? I?m merely curious as to what their current relationship is,? she says, shrugging.

Shunsui laughs and puts an arm around her. ?That?s my lovely Nanao-chan! Always the curious one,? he comments while taking another drink of his sake.

Nanao pushes his arm off her shoulders and looks at Rangiku again. ?Well??

Rangiku leans back against the wall and chuckles. ?You want to know what I think of Gin? Then I?ll tell you.? She suddenly leans forward, placing her hands on the tatami mats. ?I want him.?

Everyone silently looks at her. ?Excuse me?? asks Hitsugaya.

She leans back again, re-crossing her arms over her chest. ?You heard me. I love Ichimaru Gin, and I want him. Bad.?

Nanao stares at Rangiku, her eyes wide. Shunsui leans over and whispers in her ear, ?Well, you wanted to know.?

Rangiku continues. ?Honestly, just the sight of him in his captains uniform makes me want to jump him, and rip it off him right then and there. I bet he would be wild in bed, don?t you think??

Nobody responds.

?Well, I think he would. And his eyes! Have you ever seen his eyes?? she asks.

Hitsugaya swallows and shakes his head. ?Uh?no.?

?I have. I swear, you could get lost in them.? Her voice suddenly gets slightly more seductive. ?And his hands! If only he would handle me the way he handles his katana?? Her voice trails off as she finishes the rest of the sake in her cup in one gulp.

She sets it down on the floor with a slam and looks at everyone again. ?And that is what I think of Ichimaru Gin.?

Silence fills the room as everyone stares at her with their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open. A clatter is heard as Shunsui drops his sake cup on the floor, and Momo just sits, unmoving, her bright red face in her hands.

After a couple of seconds Rangiku lets out a loud laugh, her arms clutching her abdomen. Everyone breaks out of their stupor and gawks at her. ?What?s so funny?? asks Shuuhei.

?You all!? She continues to laugh. ?Your expressions were priceless!? Rangiku finally calms down a bit and wipes the tears from her eyes.

?Wait, you mean to say that you were just fucking with us? That you didn?t mean anything you said about that bastard Gin?? asks Kenpachi, in his usual blunt manner.

Rangiku nods, giggles still escaping her. ?Yup, I made it all up. I just wanted to see your expressions and how you would react. I got you all good!?

?So you mean to tell us that you don?t ?want? Ichimaru-taichou?? asks Nanao.

?Nah,? replies Rangiku, with a wave of her hand. ?We?re just friends, nothing more.?

A general sigh of relief sweeps through the group.

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End part 1. Yeah, a weird place to end it, but it's the best place to end it before it gets too long.

Notes - I came up with this story one while attempting to fall asleep. I'm currently working on a story called "Hide and Seek", which involves the FMA cast. I got to thinking, "What if I could get the Bleach cast to play that game?" Then, I had a better idea, Truth or Dare. What could be better than a bunch of drunken shinigami playing said game.

While attempting to come up with the different truths and dares for the characters, the story "Therapy for Shinigami" by Kaeru Soyokaze and her therapist Chiyuu popped into my head while thinking of Shuuhei's dare. The thought would not leave my head, so I decided, "What the hell?" and e-mailed her to see if I could borrow her character. I got a response the same day, and lo and behold, she gave me permission. I highly reccomend you read the story though, mainly because it's a damn hilarious story, and it'll help you understand Chiyuu a bit more.

Also, the dare Renji does later on is a scene from Red vs. Blue, but it's so funny, it seemed fitting for Renji to do. Even if you've never seen RvB, the Renji dare scene is still funny nonetheless.

Last but not least, Estella. Estella is one of my friends on BSF. I was talking to her earlier today, asking her to help me think of truths or dares for some of these people. When I told her the Byakuya dare idea, she got sad that he wouldn't come to her door, but gave me the idea of who he would harass. So, I promised to put her in the story as the random shinigami that walks by while Byakuya does his dare. She should be lucky she has lines and Byakuya doesn't kill her.

Part 2 - Shuuhei and Renji's dares. I might even throw in Byakuya's, if you're all good.

Laters!

[ffgirl_07]

very funny!! love it!! keep on writing!

[nightkat01]

Thanks!

I actually have more written, but I decided not to post the parts here because, well, no one was reading it.

You can either read more here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2551841/1/
Or at my LiveJournal. The link to that is in my sig.

[ffgirl_07]

yeah, i read it there too. i also read the other story that your friend wrote.. love it.