AN: First off, I'm so, so sorry that it took me a YEAR to get this out. Life takes some drastic turns sometimes and, well, nevermind.
The important thing is that I'm posting it, and I should tell you that this chapter is more of a buildup to chapters 12-15 than anything else. It's kind of a thought chapter, but there are HUGE hints as to what's going on, what's going to happen, and what Relena's real motives are. Oh, did I say Relena's motives? Whoopsie. 
I hope you guys enjoy this. I apologize for it's being so short, but the next 3-4 chapters are going to be very intense. Hopefully this will prepare you.
Around This Life
Chapter Eleven
To say that the rest of my day was filled with confusion would be putting it mildly. I tried to convince myself that the moment that had passed between Trowa and myself in the hall was just circumstantial, that I had been vulnerable, and wanted to kiss him simply because he had been a comfort to me over the past few days. Tried. With no success.
Throughout the whole day, I found myself more nervous around him than ever. It boggled my mind, to think that I could be attracted to someone when I was so in love with Duo. You can?t start developing feelings for someone else when you?re already in love, can you? It didn?t make any sense. Not only was I under pressure from the situation with Mother, but I also had to keep up the fa?ade of being her ?ideal? daughter. Wearing fancy dresses, entertaining boring guests, and a thousand other things I didn?t feel like doing.
Worst of all, I could barely find opportunities to see Duo. He had to sneak into my room, late at night or very early in the morning, just to say hello. How fair was it of Mother to do that to us? To try and bind me in a loveless marriage just so she could be satisfied? She had done everything in her power to separate us, and now she appeared to have won. To her, at least. Even though Duo had a plan to get out of the marriage, I kept doubting that it would work. There was no way Mother would just ?accept? that I didn?t want to marry Trowa. Somehow, she would force me to. Then what would I do? How would Duo and I be together if his plan didn?t work? If Mother saw through my act and put a stop to our efforts?
How had she come up with this scheme, anyway?
?Where did he come from?? I found myself wondering. ?Where did Mother find this man, this mysterious and handsome stranger? Trowa. Where? And why did she bring him here, instead of sending me there??
It just made no sense. Mother had brought a suitor to our house out of the blue and consented to an engagement between us before I?d even met him. Then, Duo comes up with a plan to get rid of the suitor, but that suitor is now working his way into the most private parts of my life. He?d seen all of my weaknesses, exposed my own deepest secret to me, and protected me from Mother when I thought I couldn?t escape. Duo?s plan could only work if both Trowa and Mother believed that I absolutely despised the man, but Mother had already accused me of lusting after him, and Trowa and I were bordering on becoming friends.
And now. Oh, Lord. I can?t believe that I had actually wanted him to kiss me!
But that would never happen. I was in love with Duo. He was funny, and sweet, and strong, all at the same time. Trowa was the complete opposite, always calm, always blunt. When he arrived, his frankness while speaking to me was beyond rude.
So, why? Why in the world was I drawn to him?
Physically, he was very attractive. I?ll admit that. But his personality clashed with mine from the very start. In conversation, he was direct, and I was evasive. I could barely say two words to him without becoming upset. That didn?t change until after my fight with Mother, and then I only spent time with him because I felt I was indebted to him for his kindness that night. I still felt that way.
That?s the only reason I wanted to spend time with him. Right?
There couldn?t be any other explanation. And there couldn?t be anything more to add. I wanted to kiss him simply because I?d been vulnerable. That was it. No more, no less, no in between. Nothing.
I will never give Mother the satisfaction of seeing me married to such a man.
* * *
I was thinking about our first kiss when I tried it on. Mother had decided that the dress I wore to the engagement party would be new, and so, the day before the party was to take place, we went shopping. After a great deal of persuasion, I was allowed to invite Lucretzia to join us on our little outing, which I did for the sole purpose of maintaining my composure in Mother?s presence. Shopping with that woman was a nightmare.
We had gone through a dozen dresses by the time I found one I liked. Mother hated it, of course. But that was only because she had seen my delight upon examining myself in the mirror. For once, I thought of myself as somewhat attractive when I wore it. That?s the way I had felt when Duo had first kissed me. It was one of my fondest memories.
?Hey! Relena! Wait up!?
A voice reached me among the sounds of the waterfall crashing into the pool around me. I turned around in the water and saw Duo swimming up to me, as fast as he could. Even though his hollering had interrupted my perfect backstroke, it pleased me to hear him. His playful banter was always welcome in my stressful world.
When he caught up to me he flipped his long braid over his shoulder, then took a deep breath and said, ?Hey ?Lena, you dropped something.?
My brow furrowed. Dropped something?
?Huh? Where??
He pointed behind him. ?Back over there.?
I leaned over to look past his shoulder to try and spot whatever it was.
?What? I don?t see anything. What did I drop??
He smiled at me and put one of his hands on his hips. ?My jaw.?
I felt myself blushing before I could even let out a nervous giggle. That was such an old pickup line. Why was everything so cute when he did it?
?Duo,? I said shyly, as I felt a warm hand come to rest gently on my waist. ?You don?t have to use those kinds of phrases with me anymore. We?ve been dating for almost a week now.?
Something clouded over in his eyes, and for a moment I felt that I had said something wrong. Then his other hand came up and lightly caressed my cheek, his fingers warm against my already tingling skin. When he looked at me like that, I felt so out in the open. He could say anything with those eyes staring at me, and I would believe it.
?I know,? he said cheerfully, ?But, I just had to tell you something. I can?t wait any longer, I have to say it.?
Something like lead dropped into my stomach. ?Oh no, he doesn?t want to date me anymore. He thinks I?m ugly. He?s leaving me. He hates me!?
I opened my mouth to plead with him not to say whatever he was going to say, but suddenly found myself the object of attention for a pair of very soft, yet very firm lips. It was a kiss. It was my first kiss. ?Oh my God, he?s kissing me!?
It was over way too soon. That was Duo?s way, always teasing me even when he knew what my thoughts must be. He was already grinning at me when I opened my eyes, not realizing I had even closed them. I must have looked completely dumbfounded to him, because he soon burst out laughing and put his hands on both sides of my face, pulling me closer until our foreheads were touching. I felt utterly absorbed by him. Untouchable. It felt so nice.
?I just wanted to tell ya, Relena,? He said, with no less than a smirk on what would otherwise be his ?serious? face, ?That you looked absolutely fantastic in those pants today.?
By my nervous laughter, I?m sure he must have known that what he said was not only undignified, but also the best compliment I had ever received.
?Duo, you jest so nobly,? I said with a smile.
?What?s got you grinning like that?? Lucretzia?s voice interrupted my reverie. I found myself in front of the changing room mirror at Mother?s favorite boutique, and once again thought myself moderately attractive in what I was wearing.
?Oh,? I said hurriedly, hoping she hadn?t caught me in the middle of an embarrassed blush. ?I was just admiring the fabric of this one. I wonder if he?ll like it??
The older woman reached down and examined the fabric of the skirt for herself. ?I?m sure he will. Trowa has always had a taste for this color.?
I felt my throat tighten. Trowa? ?Um, I was talking about-?
?Are you quite finished, Relena? I do not have all day to be running here and there in search of a new dress.?
Mother. What a hypocrite! It was her idea to go shopping in the first place.
?We?ll be right out, Mrs. Darlian,? Lucretzia said, knowing that I would not respond to such an obvious attempt at provoking my anger.
?Do hurry,? she said in raspy huff, quite offended that my sister in-law had answered when she hadn?t been directly spoken to.
Lucretzia smirked in a satisfied way, then went about the room collecting the dresses and shoes that had been rejected one after another. I looked more closely at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out why my gut was telling me that something was amiss. Was it the dress? Or was it what Lucretzia had just said?
Trowa has always had a taste for this color.
I tilted my head to the side, considering what could be so special about a color. Especially the color yellow.
Well, not yellow. More of a yellow-gold. A bit too sparkly, in my opinion, but it would do. And of course, Duo would love the way it hugged my figure in an almost inappropriate way. Lucretzia had made me curious about another opinion as well. What would Trowa think of this? Surely he would be angry.
?You conformed to your mother?s wishes and hid the spirit I had instantaneously admired. Why did you change??
I shook my head. ?You don?t care, Relena,? I told myself. ?You?re trying to get rid of him. You don?t care.?
A cough came out of my throat that was meant to be a chuckle. My tired eyes stared back at me through the mirror and I felt myself grow cold all over.
I couldn?t fool myself. I did care.
Trowa, however mysterious and unreadable he might be, had earned my gratitude. I had been very vulnerable, and he had been there. I would not forget that. There was also that night where I had cried into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Why hadn?t he pushed me away? What did he want from me? He couldn?t be serious in his claim that he only wanted to help me. Otherwise, why did he agree to the arrangement? Especially when he hadn?t even met me yet?
It didn?t add up. The more I thought about, the more I knew that something wasn?t being revealed to me. Something that was probably important. My mind drifted back to my conversation with Lucretzia on the phone earlier that week, and her comment just now. I felt the dizziness of confusion creeping back to me, and I felt it hit me. She knew something about this. Why else would she have sounded so nervous back then?
Could she know him? Had they met before? Was she somehow going behind my back to conspire with him? Or had she?
No. She wouldn?t.
Why on Earth would Lucretzia team up with Mother to break Duo and I apart?
*TBC*
I have noticed the you haven't updated in a couple years but I do hope that inspiration strikes you soon because I can't wait for the next installments. 