If I Were You - Chapter 6 & 7

[melodrama]

I do not own Gundam Wing. I am not receiving any financial gain from this fiction. I mean, come on, do you really think someone would pay to read this!

Chapter Six

Walking back into my ?dressing room?, I collapsed onto a stool and heaved a loud sigh. Another day, another performance. Ah, who was I kidding, I loved it. There was nothing like an appreciative crowd to lift your spirits and clear your head. Unfortunately, this time it did little to clear the current subject of my deliberation. In the last few days, I had spent a great deal of time thinking of the current situation with Relena?and Heero.

I was torn. There was no denying that I could understand Heero?s uncertainty. I had seen repeated examples of his low opinion of his own worth. He had repetitively fought each battle in the wars with no regard for survival. He placed little value on himself as anything other than a tool of conflict.

He felt he had no need for friends, nor allies and he did everything he could throughout not to need any of us. I doubt it occurred to him at any stage that perhaps it was us that needed him. There was not one of us who did not profit from his influence at some stage. We would each have given anything to repay him in kind, if he had only allowed us. We were his friends though, whether he liked it or not, and a true motley crew we were at that.

She influenced him though. I don?t think it was love for either of them. Not at first anyway. But he was in awe of her, we all were. Sure, we all had our motivation in support of fighting, some more clear-cut than others. But when Relena stepped forward with her claims on pacifism, it was with a way of thinking that was so unyielding that there was no denying her resolve. I didn?t realise how short term my reasons for fighting were. I fought for peace of the colonies, and she struggled for peace for everyone. She was truly compassionate.

And she was beautiful. And smart. And ecstasy to be around. She could make even the heartless love her. Hell, she did make the heartless love her. Heero and me both. I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. I had to stop thinking like this. She wasn?t mine to have. And the only one who could lay claim to her lacked the nerve to do it.

One thing was certain though, if he didn?t do something soon, I was going to lay my cards on the table. To hell with it, and to hell with Duo too. No way was I going to stand by and let her throw everything away on a schmuck like Justin.

There was a rustling of the curtain, and as if on cue, Duo stepped in.

?Tro man! How?s things? Another great show, I gotta say.?

I glanced up in surprise. What was it with this guy and his ability to pop out of nowhere? Maybe he really was the god of death!
?Duo! What brings you here? Nothing wrong I hope??

?Nah,? he replied, leaning against a tent post. ?We were bored, had some time on our hands, so we thought we?d drop by and catch your act. You just about done here? Hilde?s dying to say hi.?

I looked down at my attire, I was still dressed in costume, but I had to feed the lions, so I figured changing could wait a little longer. Standing up, I indicated for Duo to lead the way.

Walking outside, we found Hilde standing with an attractive girl with long black hair. The girl was wearing denim jeans and a dark leather jacket. A baseball cap was pulled down low over her brow, and dark glasses veiled her eyes. I did a double take.

?Relena??

There was a flash of dazzling white teeth, before she pressed a finger to her lips.

?Shhh..? she grinned, pulling down her glasses ?You?ll blow my cover.?

I glanced around, looking for the prerequisite body guards, and was surprised to see none. Relena watched me with an amused glint in her eye. Giggling she offered me her hand.

?Why hello, I don?t believe we?ve been introduced. My names Anna, Anna.. er.. Scott.?

Hilde suddenly burst into peals of laughter, while Duo just grinned like a maniac.

?Lena, babe, you really have watched that movie too many times.?

Relena pouted, crossing her arms and pointing that cute turned up nose of hers in the air.

?I can?t help it, it?s a great film?besides, it?s a classic.? She shot me an almost wounded look, after spying my somewhat incredulous look.

?Don?t tell me you?ve never seen Notting Hill?? Her face suddenly lit up, and I almost expected to see one of those light bulbs appear above her head, like you see in the comics.

?You must come around tonight, we can watch it in the home theatre! Hilde, don?t you think that would be the most wonderful way to spend the evening? Popcorn, ice cream, romantic film??

Hilde nodded with enthusiasm, before turning to look expectantly at Duo, who rolled his eyes at me.

?Well, Tro, what do you think? Want to join me in sap hell? That?s about as formal an invitation as you?re gonna get.?

I deliberated quickly. Okay, so I didn?t have the most jam packed social calendar, so availability was hardly a problem. And, what the hell, I figured I could tolerate two hours of some schmaltzy pre-colony film, in exchange for popcorn?and soft drink. Hey maybe I could even negotiate for pizza. Plus the look Duo was giving me looked just borderline of begging. What can I say; I?m a merciful kind of guy.

?Sure,? I shrugged, ?Sounds like fun. I?ve got a couple of jobs to finish first, though, and I guess I should change.? Hilde nudged Relena, before replying with a smirk,

?Oh I don?t know, I think you look fine. I?m all for you coming dressed just as you are.?

Relena giggled again, while Duo shot Hilde a filthy look.

?Um yeah, Trowa, maybe you should think about putting a shirt on.?

I looked on in amusement as the girls fell about themselves and Duo watched his girlfriend with an expression mixed between sulkiness and laughter. I turned back towards the tent, intending to leave my companions to wait for me. Duo, however, was quick to follow, and it became evident he had something on his mind.

He managed to remain silent until we reached the lion pens, however, a feat which in itself amazed me. He leaned against the cage, watching me as I proceeded through my familiar routine. Finally I turned to face him,

?What?s on your mind Duo??

A brief flash of relief crossed his face, obviously glad that I had sought to begin the conversation. He folded his arms across his chest, and began his narrative by addressing his torso.

?I?m a bit?I don?t know what?? he frowned, seeming to gather his thoughts before finally looking at me. I took a wild guess.

?Did Heero come back?? Duo looked at me with surprise, his expression already answering my question. He nodded slowly.

?Uh, yeah. He was waiting at my flat when I got home yesterday. Sober too, thank god. Still a mess though. I know I said it the other day, but I?ve never seen him like this. Shit it was good to see him again, but Trowa, he?s not happy. Still not very talkative, but it was pretty clear that this whole Relena and Justin thing is getting to him big time. He didn?t stay for very long, he kept pacing the room like he was one of these guys,? Duo said, indicating his head towards the big cats.

?He asked me what I thought about the new couple, whether it was serious. I said I didn?t know, that it was too early to tell. I swear to god, Trowa, the guys? whole complexion was green. Clashed really badly with his hair. I told him he had no one to blame but himself. That if he hadn?t left Relena waiting for so long, she would be with him and not some suit wearing, palm greasing dweeb. I asked him if he loved her.?

?And?? I demanded, ?What did he say??

?Nothing, although he looked a bit sheepish. Well, sheepish for Heero anyway. We both know that?s as good as a yes.?

?So what the hell?s stopping him then??

Duo shook his head in frustration and began kneading his hands together in agitation.

?Well, that was what completely astounded me, man. He doesn?t think SHE loves HIM. The guy?s got the worst inferiority complex I?ve seen in my life. I even told him, straight to his face, that she loves him, that she?s waited all this time for him. He wouldn?t have a bar of it. He reckons I?m just saying it to piss him off. Make up for all the times he threatened to kill me. He got really crazy then, stormed out and slammed the door so hard I thought it was going to come of the hinges. Damned if I know what he?s going to do now.?

Duo let out a loud sigh, and scratched at the back his head.

?I haven?t said anything to Relena, don?t know if I should. But should we be worried??

I shook my head.

?I can?t see any reason to warn her. Heero would never hurt her. As for telling her how he appears to feel, that?s not up to us. We can?t go getting her hopes up, just when she?s made the choice to move on.?

?But..? Duo interrupted. Giving him a level stare, I continued,

?He has to do this himself. If he wants our help, he?ll have to ask for it. If we get wrapped up trying to force them together, someone?s heart is going to get broken. Again. If the fates decide that this match is meant to be, then it will be, whether or not we stick our noses into it.?

The American stood silently, watching me meditatively.

?And do you actually believe in fate Trowa??

Turning away from the cages, and moving back towards my trailer, I replied softly,

?Yes?I do.?

*******

Chapter Seven

The man watched her silently, as she read the plaque on the park bench.

??For June, who loved this garden, From Joseph, who always sat beside her? - Some people do spend their whole lives together.? The leading lady said softly, just as a melodious love song began playing in the background.

I gazed intently at the leading man?s rather odd hairstyle. And the guys give me a hard time about MY hair. Tipping my head to the side, I flinched as I was suddenly beaned on the forehead with a piece of popcorn.

Glancing over in the direction the projectile had originated from, I saw a grinning Relena inclining her head towards Duo and Hilde. I gave a small smile at the picture the two made. So much for his protests about sappy films. Duo had Hilde pulled tightly against him, and he was watching the film with avid intensity. Before me sat a couple that cemented every reason I had for believing in Fate.

Speaking of interesting ways to watch movies, I glanced back over at Relena. I was seriously considering asking her if she would like the contortionist role at the circus. I?d assumed that her home had a theatre due to her high profile preventing normal cinema visits, but now I doubted she would actually be able to watch a movie in a normal seated position.

At this moment she was sprawled in a large armchair, one leg thrown over the arm of the chair and the other hooked over the chairs back. This effectively meant her head was pointing towards the floor. I was waiting for either all the blood to rush to her face or for her to choke on her popcorn. Neither had happened yet and I was coming to the conclusion that she had had a lot of practice. I wondered if anyone had bothered telling her that Princesses and political figureheads weren?t supposed to be that comfortable.

Comfort was soon interrupted, however, when the sound of a mobile phone broke our reverie. Giving a loud groan, Relena rolled off her chair and reached to answer the call, leaving the monitor turned off.

?Hello, Dorlian Residence.?

There was a pause from the other end of the line, before a slightly familiar voice responded.

?Relena??

Sitting up straight, an almost guilty flush spreading across her cheeks, Relena glanced at each of us before replying,

?Justin! Hello! I wasn?t expecting you to call. How is the colony tour going??

I watched her with curiosity, particularly the sudden change in her posture. She sat almost hunched, and her light and enthusiastic tone was obviously forced. Her right hand strayed to her chin, and she began to knead her bottom lip with her thumb.

?Yes, yes, it?s going as well as can be expected I guess. That?s why I called, I?m afraid we?ll be a few days late?.? Justin?s crisp, pretentious tenor suddenly came to a halt.

?Relena, why is the monitor turned off??

?Oh, er,? Relena seemed to cast around for a moment, searching for an excuse.

?A few of the girls came around, and we were just watching a film in the theatre. I didn?t want the monitor light to distract them.? She winced at what she thought was a very lame excuse. Looking towards Duo, I noticed that his expression mirrored my incredulous look. He cocked an eyebrow at me, and shrugged his shoulders.

?I got your flowers. Thank you, they were beautiful.? Relena said, apparently looking to change the subject.

?I?m glad. Listen, I must go, but I?ll see you soon? I love you.?

This time Relena really did wince. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. What was going on? Shooting me a indecipherable look, she pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and replied,

?Oh yes, of course?me too. Bye then??

Justin returned her farewell before disconnecting the call. Turning back towards us, she gave a sheepish grin, before throwing herself back into her seat. Glancing over at Duo, who was looking at her in bewilderment she explained,

?Sorry guys, he just?gets a bit touchy when I mention that I?m hanging around with you. I don?t know, he just gets?jealous.?

Duo opened his mouth, apparently confused.

?Oh this is my favourite part!? she exclaimed, making it quite clear that any more prying comments were not welcome.

******

After that evening, we just seemed to keep bumping into each other. Justin was often away, due to work commitments, while Relena?s work was currently keeping her in the vicinity of home. On more than one occasion I found myself in the company of the lovely Anna Scott. Although the circus had begun travelling again, I couldn?t seem to stay away.

I tried numerous excuses ? I didn?t want her to get lonely, with Justin travelling so much. Or I just liked taking my bike for long road trips. Duo still lived nearby, and I wanted to keep in touch. I wanted to be there in case Heero made an appearance. But the truth just kept slapping me in the face; she brightened up my life. When I was with her, I barely remembered an empty past bearing the name Nanashi. There was never a moment when she didn?t make me feel like I belonged, and no one other than Cathy had ever made me feel that way.

The Justin situation, however, confused me. The media latched on to the new couple, and there was rarely a women?s magazine that was not holding them up as the personification of the perfect couple. Speculation was rife, when would the wedding of the year take place? But those of us closest to Relena were left scratching our heads. Some things just didn?t make sense.

The night we watched movies at her home was not the only time that she failed to disclose our visits to her boyfriend. When Duo or myself questioned her about it she tried to change the subject, or simply replied that she didn?t want to face his moody silences whenever he thought she might be spending too much time with people below her social status. I thought he sounded like a spoilt brat. And a snob.

I was aware that Justin knew nothing of our pasts, and what linked us to Relena. It shouldn?t have mattered though. I watched the man closely, trying to understand why she was with him. He was an attractive enough man; with security and ambition it?s true. But it was on closer inspection that it occurred to me. He was the complete opposite of Heero. From his solid, almost heavy build, to his neatly fashioned hair, to his deep brown eyes. He spoke with the manners of a diplomat, one that would send soldiers to fight with no courage to take up the battle himself. He posed, and he preened but for all his convictions, his words were empty. And I had little doubt that Relena was aware of this.

I wished I could understand what was going through her mind. Part of me wondered if Justin was simply a prop, proof for Heero that she had indeed moved on. I wondered if perhaps she had hoped that the new addition to her private life would force her shadow to appear, perhaps to beg her forgiveness. But if this was the plan, it held little fruition.

*****

In mid February, on the day that all florists live for, I received a visit from Anna Scott, who claimed that a day locked in her office had driven her to near distraction and that she had possessed an overwhelming urge to eat cotton candy. I told her it must have been a true distraction indeed if it had led her to drive 350km. Obtaining the required contraband for her, we went and found a comfortable patch of grass, under a shady tree.

Resting with my back against the tree, I watched her tearing half-heartedly at the fluffed up sugar. She watched with fascination, as my troupe companions worked away around the circus grounds. She gave a contented sigh.

?You have the most wonderful lifestyle,? she murmured ?So much colour and excitement and variety. I would so much like to have your lifestyle.?

The thought flashed through my mind that she could come and join my life anytime she liked. But I knew that circus life would hold little challenge for her, and that she had far more value in other areas. But I couldn?t help but entertain the thought for a little longer. It certainly wouldn?t be the first time. I smiled to myself. She?d look great in one of those leotards?.

Mentally giving myself a slap in the back of the head, I forced myself to change the subject.

?So, isn?t Justin going to take you out tonight? Being St Valentines Day and all??

Relena grimaced, and I knew her answer even before she had spoken it.

?No, he?s travelling with the President again and won?t be back until tomorrow. We might do something then.?

Relena paused, laying the packet of candy on the grass, and leaning back on her hands. She sat there for a few moments, seeming to gaze at the tendrils of light that peeked through the leaves above us.

?When I woke up this morning,? she began, ?I found that someone had scattered rose petals all over my floor.?

She looked across at me, gauging my reaction. Seeing none forth coming, she continued.

?There was a dozen red roses on the stand by my bed, and this,? she opened the top button of her shirt, ?was hanging on my mirror.?

Around her neck was a delicate diamond, shaped in the perfect outline of a teardrop. She shook her head.

?When Justin called at lunchtime, I was about to thank him, when he started apologising for not getting me anything. He had lost track of the dates.?

I was at a loss for words. What the Hell? I tried to envision Heero tiptoeing around in the dark, scattering petals. I wasn?t succeeding. But there was no other explanation. I was rapidly reaching the conclusion that he had to be going nuts.

?I?ve got a great idea!? Relena suddenly exclaimed.

I looked at her in surprise, waiting for her to make a dramatic change of topic.

?I?m proclaiming that, as of today, we will not mention the name Heero Yuy.?

Okay, different turn of events. This did not bode well.

?Uh yeah, sure Lena, if you want.?

For a moment, Relena?s face fell.

?No, it?s not really. But it would make things easier, don?t you think??

She stared off into space again.

?Well,? I ventured ?If you?re obviously not booked tonight, can I interest you in dinner with L3?s most eligible clown??

Relena?s face broke into a huge grin.

?Trowa, I thought you would never ask.?

******

And so time passed. The seasons changed, but little else did. Duo was convinced that it had indeed been Heero who had left the gifts for Relena and was now waiting with bated breath. He was convinced that his friend would soon give in and make his move. I didn?t think it was that simple.

But as days blended into weeks, and then weeks into months, even Duo seemed to lose heart. As stated, Relena did indeed refuse to talk about it. I doubted that failing to acknowledge his existence would help in the slightest. But who was I to press the subject.

So I had reservations when a rather tense Minister called me, early in June, asking me to come and see her. She would send a plane to collect me, so it left little suspicion that something was definitely up.

Arriving at her home late in the evening, I found Relena in her room, agitated and seemingly exhausted. Seeing me come in, however, she fixed on her best meet and greet face. This put me on my guard at once. She never used that expression with her friends

I looked around the room, hoping to spot something out of place, some clue. But everything was immaculate. Well, everything except a small teddy bear that was resting upside down in a corner. It looked like it had been thrown there. Glancing back at Relena, I saw that she was standing rather poised, in the centre of the room. Taking a deep breath, she blurted,

?Justin?s asked me to marry him.?

*****

[miyuki_no_nemutai]

Aha!!! ::griN:: Glad to see your story up here, Mel! But you know... we need to see Relena's answer to Justin, yeah? ^_^

[wsprs]

It should be against the law to write beautiful fics and CUT THEM OFF WITH CLIFF HANGERS!!!! I'm seriously going to go mad.

But before I do, I'd like to take this opportunity to applaud you. Bravo!

*ahem*

Now is when you bow gracefully and provide the ENCORE!!

[moonkitty]

melo-chan...this story is GREAT. I would write more, but an earwig is climbing right next to me, and I must get rid of it.

EXCELLENT work. I love your tone and style. Interesting character choice as well....just a good story in general!!!! Please continue!!! And sooN!!!!


~moonkitty

[Desert Bloom]

WOW REALLY BEAUTIFUL FIC AND RELENA CANNOT MARRY THAT IDIOT ....*cough* Sorry, just get really excited around good fic. This is great!

[Tsukiyo]

I'm starting this with one simple phrase: I hate you. This is written to such beautifully heart wrenching proportions that it surely must be a crime somewhere! This story is so very good and the Trowa POV, i just have to give you major snaps on that one. Absolutly marvelous. Of course using Trowa as the narrator as created this terrible little battle inside me. i don't know which i want more: Trowa's happiness or the success of (in my opinion) the greatest most complimentary couple ever, Heero and Relena.
Oo, this is quite the lengthy response. but i just HAD to verbilize how much i enjoy this and how much i eagerly anticipate each new installment!! Thank you so much!

~Tsukiyo