I need happiness. Whatever. Enjoy!Twice
He always kisses me twice at night,
Before I get to leave.
To return home to my warm bed,
To a short eight-hour reprieve.
I see hum again every day
When I walk into the room.
I come right before the bell rings.
I step up to my doom.
Its been like this since September,
And now its late May,
He tells me it?s a secret,
So I must keep it that way.
I have to wait for him
By the parking lot.
He says we will discuss my grades,
But I know that we will not.
We will take part in an act,
I thought I would wait for,
I keep begging him to stop,
But he just wants more.
He kisses me twice when we are through
And leaves me to redress,
Leaving me in my shame
And my new distress.
He says he will be careful
So he always is.
Despite my constant protests,
What he wants, he gets.
I feel used. I feel ashamed.
I know I have myself to blame
For being alive to this day,
When I can easily take this pain away.
He kisses me twice before sunrise
When I must sneak home
I have my grades to keep up
And my 4.0
I once threatened to tell on him,
To his very face,
But the knife he pulled on me
Kept me in my place.
He kisses me twice, as he had
Other girls before
But he says I am different
He calls me his man-whore
I answer every day in class
Twice, as he wants me to,
He tells me I am second best
Because his favorite number is two.
The person I see in the picture
Does not look like me
He looks na?ve, he looks untouched,
He embodies purity
Now that razor on the floor
Has caught my violated gaze
I pick it up against the floor
And watch the glistening blades
With quick reflexes
I didn?t know I had
It cuts against my ivory wrist
Swish, swish, slash
He would kiss me twice tonight,
But I?m not going today
He?d wait in anxiousness to quench his thirst
But I?m not going today
Red liquid pours over my clothes
As I fall down to my knees
And smile as I feel the pain
Slowly fade away.
10.2.03
Yikes! That is not merely adolescent angst- that is unethical/illegal. (Or at least it should be- I've never really looked into it 
) It wasn't at all autobiographical, was it? (Well, obviously the end couldn't be . . .) But anyway, great poem. I liked the recurring theme of the number two, especially. Nice touch. I see this is one of the first things you've posted . . . nice to see your work up. Hope to see more from you.