Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.
Afraid to Love
Written by: WingZero2118
Chapter Twelve
?And how are we doing today Mr. Yuy?? Sally asked sarcastically as she walked into Heero?s room.
?Hn,? was the only reply she received from him.
?I?ll take that as a sign of recovery,? she said, but mostly to herself.
?I?m not that grateful that you have regained your stubbornness, but at least you are making some progress.?
Heero scowled at her.
He hated the fact that he was being made to stay in the hospital while he recovered. It was a huge blow to his pride. Never before had he needed to depend on any one else, and now having to sit back and let other people tell him what to do was worse than facing off against Zechs and Epion during the war.
?Ok hotshot let?s go. It?s time for your therapy.?
He grimaced as Sally said these words to him. Due to the loss of blood and the position the bullet had been in, he had loss some of the mobility in his left side.
Everyday for the past three weeks he had been going and doing those stupid exercises to get him back to normal. Well, normal for Heero any ways.
?Sally must we keep going over this,? he said in protest. ?I?m perfectly fine. I don?t need to do any more therapy.?
?Heero if I say that you still need therapy, then you still need therapy. And in case you haven?t noticed you can barely stand let alone walk. So until you?re strong enough to walk out of here by yourself, you?re not going anywhere.?
Heero started to glare at her back from his spot on the bed.
?And don?t even think about giving me your death glare because it won?t work,? she added firmly.
?How did she know that I was going to give her my glare??
Heero was shocked and angered even more by the fact that Sally had known he was glaring at her.
?Come on Heero. The sooner we get started the sooner you can go back to sulking.?
?Who said I?m sulking??
?Call it what you will. Now let?s get going.?
?Hn.?
Reluctantly Heero got into the wheelchair, with some difficulty, and was soon being pushed by Sally to the physical therapy room.
After about three hours or more, Sally finally called out, ?Ok Heero, I think that?s enough for today.?
?I want to keep going.?
?You?ve done enough for one day. We don?t need you over exerting yourself. We?re are trying to get your strength back not work it away.?
?Sally I know how much I can handle and I want to keep going. Just give me two more hours. Please,? he asked with such sincerity in his voice that Sally just stared at him in amazement.
?Fine. Two more hours and that?s it.?
?This guy never ceases to amaze me. Any normal person wouldn?t be half as far along in recovering from an injury like that as he is. But still he?s not the same person I once knew in the war. He?s much kinder for one. Relena?s a lucky girl.?
Sally smiled to herself at her last thought, then turned back to monitor Heero?s progress.
?Ok Mr. Perfect Soldier, that?s enough for today. For someone who hates therapy as much as you do, you sure do put an effort into it.?
?Well you said it yourself. When I can walk out on my own I can leave, so I might as well put an effort into getting out of here. And don?t mock me with that perfect soldier crap any more. I no longer have a right to be called that.?
?What are you talking about Heero??
?I almost failed my mission. Relena could have been killed because I?m not the person I once was. I wasn?t strong enough and look what happened because of it.?
Heero turned his eyes to the floor. The thought of Relena being killed was almost too much for him to bear.
?You?re not making any sense Heero. Relena is alive and well because of what you did. Your actions saved her life. And as for this not being strong enough crap, any normal person in your condition wouldn?t even be half this far to recovery,? Sally stated with a little extra emphasis.
?Relena deserves someone stronger and more reliable. My actions almost got us both killed. I don?t deserve to be with her. She?s too kind and too pure to be tainted by me.?
Heero said all of this without taking his eyes from the floor.
?Did that gunshot affect your brain or something Heero? The two of you were meant for each other. Relena?s strength lies in her love for you. Can?t you see that? Or are you just too stubborn to admit it? Don?t go turning your back on her now that you have finally given in to??
But Sally was cut-off in mid sentence as the door opened and Relena peered cautiously into the therapy center.
?Sally, Heero? Are you in here??
?We?re over here Miss Relena. Actually we were just about to leave weren?t we Heero?? she asked him cheekily.
?Hn?
?Well it seems like he?s back to himself. Is he giving you much trouble Sally?? Relena asked, knowing all too well what the response would be.
?Heero? Give us trouble? Where would you get and idea like that?? responded Sally with an extra hint of sarcasm.
?Oh let?s just say I know from experience,? Relena responded.
Heero just ignored the two women as he began to wheel himself out of the therapy center.
Stopping outside the door Heero winced at the pain he started to feel.
?Dammit. I?m over doing it. At this rate I?ll never get out of here,? he said to himself disgustedly.
Placing his head in his hands he sighed.
?What am I doing? I?ve never been slowed down this much before. Have I really gotten that soft over the years??
But his thoughts where interrupted as Sally and Relena came out into the hallway.
?Relena would you mind seeing that Heero gets back to his room? I have some more work I need to get done.?
?Not at all Sally. I?ll make sure he gets back ok.?
With that Sally turned and walked the other way down the hall leaving Heero and Relena alone.
?So Sally tells me that you?re making a lot of progress with your therapy,? Relena said thoughtfully.
?Hn,? was all she got in reply.
?Look Heero I know this is a tough time for you and its even harder since you?ve never experienced anything like this before but that doesn?t mean that you have to treat me like this. Ever since the day you woke up you?ve become more and more distant to me acting like nothing ever happened between us. But the truth of the matter is that nothing has changed since that night I almost lost you. You here me. Nothing has changed.?
Relena looked on the verge of tears. Heero was stunned. He had all but ignored Relena for the past three weeks yet she still loved him. She made as if to turn and run but Heero caught her by the arm and pulled her back.
?Relena I?m sorry. I?ve been going through a lot lately and I didn?t mean to take it out on you. You are the last person I would want to hurt. It?s just that this injury has put a new perspective on my life. I?m not as indestructible as I once thought I was. Years ago an injury of this caliber would have slowed me down for maybe three days at most and now I?ve spent the better part of three weeks in a hospital doing therapy. Its something that I?m just not used to.?
?Oh Heero. I know how hard this must be but you can?t just give up. We?re all here to help you make it through whether you want the help or not.?
?I know you mean well and all Relena but I think it might be better if you stopped wasting your time on me.?
?What are you saying Heero? I would never consider anytime spent with you wasted,? Relena replied with a hurt look on her face.
?That?s not what I meant,? he stated.
?Then what did you mean Heero??
?I meant that you should stop coming to see me. I know this is hard for you to hear but I?m not the one for you Relena. You?re too pure and kind to spend the rest of your life with someone like me. You deserve much better than what I can give you.?
Heero?s gaze failed to meet hers as he said this. Relena was in shock.
?You can?t be serious Heero. Don?t you think that I can decided for myself who I deserve to be with? I don?t care what has happened in your past Heero. I only care about the man I see sitting here before me, who doesn?t even have the courage to look me in the eye as he tells me to move on,? Relena stated defiantly as the tears started to form in her eyes.
Heero raised his eyes till he met hers and stared deep down into those eyes that he used to get lost in and said, ?Relena it?s time for you to move on. It just wasn?t meant to be. I?m sorry.?
And with that he spun the wheelchair and headed down the hall to his room, leaving Relena crying and alone outside the therapy center door.
?What the hell am I doing?! Why couldn?t I just let her down nice and easy huh? Why did I have to go and be an ass about it? Why does everything have to be so hard??
All night long Heero battled with the thoughts in his head. Sleep didn?t come easy for him that night, and when it did come it was laden with harsh dreams even nightmares like the ones he?d had before.
Upon waking from a particularly vivid dream Heero finally came to his senses.
?What a fool I?ve been. Letting go the best thing that has ever happened to me just because I don?t know how to deal with these feelings of anxiousness and anxiety over a set back that has taken me by surprise. Shouldn?t love be a bit more important than my own pride? God I?m such an arrogant fool. I guess there?s only one thing I can do to change this.?
With his mind made up Heero got out of bed with a little trouble and quickly dressed. Despite his assessment that he had over done it with the therapy he felt better than he had in weeks. The pain was all but gone and he could walk on his own again.
?Well Sally said that when I could walk on my own again I could leave. So I guess it?s time to check out then.?
He went to the window and opened it. The breeze from outside was soft and warm.
?Good night for traveling,? he thought to himself with a slight smile. ?Relena I?m on my way.?
And with that he vanished from the room.
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Miles away at the Peacecraft mansion Relena was having troubles of her own with sleeping.
?Why do I care for him so much when he continues to hurt me like this? I just keep letting myself get drawn back in only to be knocked back down again when he decides that he doesn?t want me. Why do I keep putting up with it? Oh Relena you need to get a grip on yourself. Now I?m talking to myself. That?s just great. He?s got me going crazy.?
She got up from her bed and walked to her dresser where she stopped and picked up the bear that Heero had given to her for her birthday years ago.
?Heero,? she sighed.
Staring off out of the balcony window she sank to her knees and began to cry again.
?Oh Heero why can?t you just let go and give in to what you feel for me??
?Because I don?t know how to and I?m afraid of what will happen,? came a reply from out on the balcony.
?Heero?? Relena asked startled.
Sliding out of the shadows Heero stepped into her room and knelt beside her on the floor.
?Relena I?m so sorry,? he started.
He took her in his arms and held her as he continued.
?I?ve been such a fool lately. Pushing aside the things that matter to me the most while my pride got in the way because of a situation out of my control. And I hurt the one person I care about the most. I know that you don?t have to accept my apology and that you don?t even have to listen to it but I just needed to tell you how much I really do love you. Not a day has gone by since I woke up that I haven?t thought about you or longed to be near you. And yet I pushed you away each time I saw you cause I couldn?t bare for you to see me the way I was.?
Heero stood up and pulled Relena with him as he did so.
?I am so sorry for what I have put you through and the way that I have acted towards you. I can barely live with myself knowing that I consciously hurt the one person I care about more than anything else in the world. A person that I care about so much that I was willing to give my own life so that she could go on living. A person that I could see myself growing old with and spending the rest of my life with. A person that would make me the happiest man in the world if she would be my wife.?
As Heero said these last few words he got down on one knee and looked up at Relena, both of them with tears in their eyes and running down their faces.
?Relena Peacecraft, would you make me the luckiest and happiest man in the world, and marry me??
