*
*
*
?Sakura,? Naruto poked his head into the tent. ?You should really have
some dinner. All the food is out here.?
?I just needed a moment Haruko. I?ll be out in a little while.?
?Is it your hair??
?Yes and no.?
Naruto crawled in and sat down next to Sakura. He started to put an arm around her but then stopped himself. Would it be weird of him? Every time he had tried to hug Sakura after the hair thing Sasuke had given him this look that gave him chills. But Sakura looked so sad and Naruto didn?t know what else to do for her.
?I remember when Ino and I grew out our hair. We were in middle school and this guy in our class. . . oh he was so beautiful and brooding. . . we heard he liked girls with long hair. It was a stupid rumor, but I just didn?t cut it since then. Long after that crush passed.? She sighed. ?It?s like. . . I really finally moved on. I?m not the same person anymore.?
Naruto drew his eyebrows together in confusion. ?It?s just hair.?
She started at his words and then began to shake. At first he thought he had made her cry and he wasn?t sure what to do, but then she turned out to be silently laughing.
?You?re right!? Sakura gave Naruto a hug. ?You?re right.? When she pulled back Naruto had a dreamy look on his face. ?How is Sana taking things? She hides her emotions so well that I wouldn?t know if she was having a hard time or not.?
?Sana?s fine.? He tried to remember what Sasuke had said before he left. ?Oh yeah, she went down by the stream to think. You know, the one in the woods a little ways.?
It only took her a moment to come to a decision. ?I?ll go talk to her. If that?s ok with you. I mean, this is a very sisterly thing to do.?
Naruto just held up his hands. ?I wouldn?t know what to do.?
When Sakura had found her flashlight she took off through the sea of tents towards the edge of the woods. Many women were out traveling from tent to tent, laughing and talking, and the field was electric with ideas. It was such an amazing time to be alive. The warmth of the day had carried over to the night and the sound of insects filled her ears as the human noises were muffled by the woods. Once she was a good ways in there was nothing but the sounds of the water and of animals. She hoped she could find Sana. Sana seemed like the kind of person who wouldn?t be found if she didn?t want to be. Every so often down the banks she?d come across people and ask them if they had seen Sana. No luck.
After fifteen or twenty minutes of walking there were no more people and she was ready to give up when a voice came from some bushes right up next to the bank of the stream.
?You are persistent. I?ll give you that.? Sakura would know that wry tone anywhere.
Sakura waded through the brush and joined Sasuke on a little grassy space. They were silent together and enjoying the night when Sakura finally spoke. ?If you have anything to tell me, I?ll listen.? Sasuke snorted. She had no idea. Where would he begin?
?I?m serious. It?s better to get it out than let it sit inside of you. When I spoke to Haruko earlier I really realized it.? Sasuke stifled the biting jealousy that clouded his mind when she spoke of Naruto like that. Now that he knew he wanted her he couldn?t seem to get it out of his mind. Being alone with her like this out in the middle of nowhere was trying his formerly quite strong self control. The loose skirt bunched up around her knees, and the way her blouse dropped off of one shoulder all screamed at him to touch her somehow. That silvery dark skin in the starlight begged for it.
?Please, Sana, I admire you so much. I mean, the more I thought about it I realized that you wouldn?t have said those things to Ino if you weren?t concerned about me. Though I still think it wasn?t necessary. And when you cut your hair off. . . I got chills.? Sasuke didn?t want to hear about it. He still felt like he had let her make a big mistake. He had too many emotions firing and he didn?t know what to do with them. ?I finally took that big step. I?ve been a kid for so long and now I think I see?mmmf!?
Sakura looked up in surprise at the canopy of a tree past Sasuke?s closed eyes. His lips were pressed firmly against hers and moving with definite intent to get her to participate as well. Arms oddly strong for being so slender held down Sakura?s wrists. The shock was replaced with pleasure as the kiss became more insistent and Sasuke forced his tongue in to stroke and cajole Sakura?s. She groaned and shifted beneath him and he gloried in her responsive mutterings. He was straddling her waist in an awkward manner, leaning over her with his knees pressed to her sides, but it meant that there was an arch of space where he could run one hand down her arm and reach her breast. After a lifetime of not caring about women, suddenly he felt like he needed to know what all the differences were and very quickly.
While Sasuke devoured her mouth he also began to run his hand up and down over her breast, forcing her nipple to become erect before he began to massage her breast through her shirt with his fingers. He allowed his hands away only so that he could bring his chest down to meet hers. Sasuke felt his hands twine into her hair, cradling behind her head to both cushion her and push her more harshly into the kiss. His elbows displaced a lot of the weight that would have been pressing on her, but Sasuke found himself overly conscious of every sound she made as if he could tell how she was reacting. When he didn?t hear anything particularly telling he nipped at her lip lightly with his teeth and then invaded her mouth again.
Sasuke noted that she was pulling away from the kiss and decided to ease up. Sakura?s arms flailed around a bit and she pushed at him rather ineffectually. Maybe it was too sudden? What was wrong, she had been enjoying it hadn?t she? Confidence was replaced with crippling insecurity. Even though her head and most of her body was in the shadows he heard the sniff and knew that she was either crying or holding back tears.
Damn, he had sure messed this up.
?Please let me up.?
Sasuke did as she asked and Sakura slid away from him before standing up and very carefully brushing her clothes off from the grass and twigs that had tangled in. She sniffed again, but it didn?t sound wet enough to be teary yet. Sakura wasn?t the sort of person who burst into tears at the slightest provocation, but that meant that this was serious enough to force a big emotional response. He had messed everything up. Sasuke shouldn?t have acted. He should have taken his feelings to the grave. Sakura didn?t deserve to be assaulted like that.
?Sana. . . I. . .? But she couldn?t seem to get any more out before she ran off down the stream bank, breaking through bushes in her haste and narrowly avoiding trees.
Anguish. Sasuke was in pure and extreme anguish. Then, before he could beat himself up any more about it he realized what she had said. ?Sakura! Wait!? He ripped the wig from his head and threw it down as if it had somehow been at fault for everything that had just taken place. ?Great, now she thinks I?m either a lesbian or a cross dresser.? Neither were things he had had any feelings about previously, but now he needed to think about how Sakura might see either circumstance. He sat down heavily in the spot he had been contemplating life in before Sakura had happened along, she being the main subject of his musings. ?I don?t know which one is worse for me. Shit.? It looked like it was going to be a long night by the stream for him.
Greenery in full summer bloom flew by and ripped her skirt or caught her skin and Sakura just ignored it all. When she heard Sana call out she simply put her head down and ran that much faster. It wasn?t that she was disgusted or angry at what Sana did (well, perhaps a bit angry) but she was intrigued and that did alarm Sakura more than anything. No man she had ever kissed had made her feel like that. Confronting this new and previously unconsidered aspect to her sexuality she was unsure what to think. Was it women, or was it just Sana? Everything about that moment was so blurred and somehow so vivid as well. Up until now, all the admiring glances she had pushed aside as just that. The proud lips, the dangerous eyes, the confident striding way that the elder Uchiha seemed to command in life. . . Sakura didn?t know what she could offer a person like that but she had tried to give friendship.
And now this?
What was she supposed to make of this?
There was also the strange piping opinion that kept surfacing which questioned whether maybe she was mistaken about something. As it was the evidence was adding up funny in one direction or another. These Uchiha sisters were both a little off. It provided an alternative explanation for what had just happened, but it might be unfair of her to try to place an assumption that might be untrue in light of being emotionally unstable at the moment.
She needed time. What?s more, she needed to talk to someone. There was a whole camp full of supposedly open minded and modern women out there, but somehow now that she had something truly personal to share she didn?t want to entrust it to a stranger. Haruko was out of the question. That would just be an awful conversation to have, not to mention now Sakura was suspicious of ?her? too. And then again, Ino, the only other choice, was a complicated person to offer information like this.
There was no helping it. Someone had to be consulted and it had to be Ino. There simply was no one else available. A twenty minute slow search would not be as nearly long of a run. Sakura doubled her efforts.
*
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*
?You got into a fight!? Ino exclaimed before Sakura shushed her with a hand and pushed her back into the tent where she followed. ?You did, didn?t you?? Ino said it a bit more quietly this time. ?Your lips are all bruised and your eyes look red.?
?I didn?t get into a fight. Not that kind anyway.?
?So tell me then why I just kicked out some very important women from my tent for your little emergency.?
?You know the people I came with?? Ino pulled her mouth into a thin line and nodded. ?Well, one of them kissed me.?
The dramatic pause just about killed Sakura.
?And??
?Ino!?
?I am a little surprised, I must say. There was that guy who used to chase you all the time. You know, the one with the buggy eyes and the bad haircut. But when we convinced him you liked women just to get him off your case it did make me wonder a bit. I mean, you were never much interested in boys after middle school.?
Sakura remembered the boy. He still sent her birthday and Christmas cards every year just in case she ever ?changed sides? again. But that was off the topic. ?I can?t believe you. I never ever had any inclination like that until, well, this!?
?So what?s bad about it? Say this person is the love of your life.?
?Hm. Eternal disapproval by my parents and society. Mainly because this means I can?t get married. No kids either. It will be hard to stay in a job once I reach my late twenties and they expect me to go off and be housewife.? Sakura looked pretty down.
Ino rubbed her chin. ?That?s pretty bad.? She smiled. ?So what?s good about it??
Now Sakura seemed glum. ?Maybe I found the only person I could ever see myself being happy with.? It was only after she said it that she felt how true that statement was. That only made the leading edge of depression that much sharper.
?That?s rough.? Ino gave Sakura a sideways smile, more pitying than anything. ?It really might be love? Come to think of it that dark haired one is rather masculine, I guess I could see how. . .? Sakura gave Ino a sharp look and she quieted with a roll of her eyes.
The girls both considered what the next step should be.
?There has to be talking.?
?Sana doesn?t like to talk. But you?re right. There must be a talk of some sort.?
Ino seemed to hesitate and then let her last bit of advice spill forth. ?I really think you should just grab this Uchiha by the crotch. I think there is at least a 60% chance you?re worrying about nothing.?
?So it occurred to you to? I felt so bad thinking something like that. I mean, I?ve known some very un-feminine women in my time. But it?s more than that.? Sakura seemed more than a little embarrassed. ?How do you ask someone you only vaguely know whether they really are the sex they say they are? It?s beyond rude. But now I think that would be better than this confused feeling I?ve got.?
Both women sat there feeling amused before Sakura sighed and slumped over in defeat.
?Get out of here. You?ve got stuff to do before it gets too late.?
Sakura crawled to the entrance. ?Thanks Ino. You?re a good friend.?
?Don?t tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain.? Ino waved her off.
It wasn?t very far back to her tent and Sakura didn?t rush. The stress made all of her muscles tighten and she didn?t want to pull anything by being too hasty. Most of everyone else was asleep by now, and only a light or two could be seen far off in the field. It was late. She was tired. If all had been well with the world she would have been asleep already with Haruko snoring softly into her ear. Now she would be lucky to sleep at all.
Once she got to the tent an interesting scene awaited her. Haruko and Sana looked like they were about to start seriously hurting each other. They let go of one another?s collars as she came in and Haruko looked extremely concerned.
?What happened to you? That person,? Naruto waved in the direction of the angry dark one. ?Won?t tell me anything.?
?I?ll tell you in a minute, first Sana and I need to discuss something alone. Please Haruko?? The blond looked unsure but in the end did as Sakura asked. Once they were alone, Sasuke made no move or sound to indicate he knew what was going on around him. When Sakura?s hand touched his then finally he sprang into action, pulling his arm back and jabbing his elbow into the material of the tent viciously. He hit a rod and pulled in the numb and hurting arm with barely even a flinch.
?What are you doing?? His voice, which he didn?t even try to hide beneath falsetto tones any longer, was a harsh whisper.
?Just let me see something and then we?re going to have a conversation, Sana.? The wig which had been askew and giving Sasuke?s head a strange lumpy look came off easily when Sakura gave it a strong tug. She just shook her head and then lifted up Sasuke?s loose shirt. He was worried she?d start yelling at him when she discovered the definite lack of breasts and presence of fairly well defined pectoral muscles, but when his shirt was again on his body she didn?t look like she was going to scream. That was nice. He wasn?t going to be beaten to death by a camp full of angry women?s liberation activists.
Not yet. He could still be beaten by this one. And with good reason.
Sasuke swallowed but his throat seemed too swollen to allow it. She wasn?t going to make him drop his pants was she?
?Both of you?? She asked quietly. He nodded. Apparently the pants would be staying on. ?Ah.? With a sigh, Sakura began to rub at her forehead. ?This suddenly makes things much easier but somehow more complicated.?
When no explanation seemed to be forthcoming from the boy, Sakura did start to get impatient.
?Well? I think you ought to at least tell me why.?
Sasuke began packing up his sleeping bag, the constructive movement was soothing. ?There is no good reason to give you.?
Up until this point Sakura felt as if she had been an extremely good sport. She had endured all sorts of emotional trauma, had put up with his bad attitude, as well as the constant lies, and that forceful invasion of her personal space. That he couldn?t offer her any excuses, not even try to give a bad one was trying the last lingering shred of her patience.
?Give me something.? Her voice was sharp, a papercut with lemon zest.
With a deep breath, Sasuke considered his options. He could tell her the complete truth, hope that it seemed just like a bad series of coincidences and then somehow explain away the kiss as a brief lapse of reason combined with too many hormones. It would maybe work. She seemed to be the sort that, if he told her, she might even forgive him. But what would that mean?
It would mean that he would have to actually deal with the feelings that were putting him through such juvenile misery. To mess up everything even worse would ironically allow him to make a far more complete break from Sakura. He could leave her behind and then get on with the life he had planned. Yes. This was the best way.
?I just wanted to prove it to myself how useless women are once and for all.? He tied the last stay on his sleeping bag and didn?t even attempt to look Sakura?s way. ?Good bye.?
When Sasuke dragged himself and his things from the tent, Naruto came over with a confused look on his face.
?What?s going on? Where are you going? What did you do to her?? Naruto circled him talking without pause and firing questions at him until he ran out of breath.
Eventually, when he was gasping, Sasuke was able to get a few words in. ?She knows. We?re leaving.?
?What do you mean she knows? Why isn?t your wig on any. . . SHE KNOWS?!? Naruto rushed for the tent but Sasuke grabbed his shirt and restrained the boy from encountering Sakura in whatever condition he had left her in. ?Let me go. I have to tell her. I didn?t want to lie to her anymore. . . I like Sakura!? Naruto whined and continued to strain at Sasuke?s restraining grasp.
But Sasuke was in no mood to be argued with. He forced Naruto to face him and let some of the hurt and helplessness out in a few short words that Naruto then felt not only intimidated by, but totally convinced that he had better comply or face severe bodily harm if not death. ?We. Go. Now.?
?Sure, sure, I?ll just leave my sleeping bag. I didn?t need it anyway.?
The boys collected the rest of their outside things and began to walk towards the road to begin their hitchhike back to more populated areas. At the very least they would probably be walking all night. They had gotten only halfway to the main road on the dirt trail that had led the buses into the camping area when the sound of running footsteps over the gravel made them both halt. Naruto had already looked soppy, as if he wanted to turn around and just ride this through. Of course, Sasuke would never have let that happen. He began to walk even faster than the pace before, as if he wanted to make everything harder for her. She caught up after another minute or two anyway. Like he had said a few hours earlier: persistent.
Naruto stopped again when she reached them but Sasuke kept going. She had to run and physically force herself in his path to stop him and even then he tried a few times to get around her. Sakura wasn?t going to let him get away that easily.
?I?m only going to ask you both for one more thing. That?s all and then you can leave and I won?t stop you.? She gasped it out.
?Sa?? Naruto began but Sasuke made a gesture and the blond man held his tongue.
Sakura tried to slow her breathing before she continued. After centering herself more she finally let out her question in a broken voice. ?What are your names? Your real ones??
?I?m Naruto Uzumaki, and I?m just so so sorry.? There was only a short pause from when she finished asking until he spilled out his answer. Anything she wanted he would have been willing to give her.
Sasuke was less charitable. He couldn?t let himself be nice to her for fear of giving everything away: his indecision, his desire to stay with her, his remorse over his inability to control his fierce emotions when she was there. ?Sasuke.?
As always, she waited for more, but this time he was not going to give in to her unspoken demand. He made a detour around her form, her slumped shoulders and pursed lips making her look so wretched he nearly capitulated. But he made it by, and those first difficult steps that had seemed as if he would not be able to complete became easier to take as he put more distance between him and only love he had ever allowed himself to have in his young life.
Eventually Naruto rejoined him, and as Sasuke glanced at the boy to see how he was taking it, his temper flared out. It had nowhere else to go.
?Take off that damn wig!?
