Over the Brink 2/2 (NC-17 LEMON)

[zapenstap]

Remember this story? Yeah, I don?t either. I don't even think I posted the first part here, and I don't have it on this computer, so I can't now! I wrote the first part in May of last year and found the second part half-finished on my computer. But it's okay, you don't really need to read the first part. I'll just summarize it. In the first part, Heero is lurking in space after the war mulling his ex-soldier status over. He fights some dissenters in the Wing Zero, but is a little rusty in handling the Zero System. While fighting, he is distracted by thoughts of Relena and gets the impression that Zero is telling him it?s time to keep his promise and kill her. Anyway, I finished the second chapter and now present it for all of you to enjoy. Lemon warning. That means graphic sex. Pretty graphic for me anyway. Enjoy and please review!


Oh, if you do want to read the first part, it's located at fanfiction.net at the following address. I'm still looking for the copy on my hard drive. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1338378/1/


Over the Brink

Chapter Two

By Zapenstap


Relena doffed her clothes and pulled short, summer nightdress over her head before turning off the main light and crawling into bed with just her night lamp on and a book to read. The sheets were cool against her bare legs and she rubbed her feet together as she settled against her pillows and luxuriated in a contented sigh. She read for a little while, flipping through four or five pages before putting her book aside and reaching for the lamp cord. It had been a long day and she didn?t feel like reading, but she wasn?t tired. When the lights switched off, she settled down and turned to face the windows looking out over the city.

Something blocked her view. It took her a heart-stopping second to realize it was a figure of a man.

She gasped, barely suppressing a scream as she sat up, her heart beating in her throat.

The figure shifted and the star light from the windows illuminated his face, the sky blending with his eyes.

?Heero,? she breathed, fighting to calm her racing heart, holding a hand to her chest. ?Are you crazy?? He didn?t answer. ?What are you doing in here?? There was something strange in the silence of his expression. She was still afraid, but the thumping sound of her heart in her ears resonated to a different anxiety. ?Are you okay?? she asked. She licked her lips, trying to gauge his expression in what little light cut into the shadows covering his face. It had been almost a year since they had interacted, though she had seen him watching her on numerous occasions. He didn?t look well now. His muscles were taut, his eyes hard and unyielding, yet almost too hard, like they were on the verge of shattering.

?Heero??

He pulled a gun out from behind his back and aimed it at her.

Her mouth tightened.

?Do you want to kill me??

She matched his hostile stare with one of her own, feeling her strength gathering around her, bolstering her with steady resolve when she needed it.

?Yeah.? His reply was gruff, but certain.

?Why?? she asked, still in muted tones, calm as the stillness of the night that enveloped them in its velvet blackness.

?You?re a distraction, Relena.?

It was a sudden change, a regression to a mood in him she thought had passed long ago. His assertion made little sense, and Heero without reason was an enigma she could not decipher. Was his soul in chaos? Over her? Taking a deep breath, she sat up, her sheets and blankets pooling around her waist. Relena didn?t notice the catch in Heero?s breath or the flicker in his throat as he swallowed. The night air hit her bare shoulders and cooled her fevered skin, refreshing her mind as well as her body, but the silk of her nightgown still clung to her, the sweat from her initial fear and panic yet to dissolve entirely.

?I don?t understand,? she said. ?The war is over.?

The gun never wavered, but Heero?s eyes flickered. ?Treize was right. It will never really be over. Fighting is in the human spirit, the animalistic human spirit that wishes to elevate itself by overpowering others. As long as humanity exists, that spirit will never die.?

?I see,? she said.

She did too, and it saddened her, but it wasn?t what occupied her at this moment. Heero doesn?t seem to notice he hadn?t killed her yet. She couldn?t hold in her feelings for him and didn?t try. She sometimes wondered why he fought so hard.

Pushing back the covers, Relena swung her legs out of bed and approached her would-be killer with her hands loose at her sides and her chin high. His eyes darted to her body, sliding around the silk that molded scantily around her form. She noticed, but as he was in her bedroom in the middle of the night, he would have to put up with some things, indecent or not. He only seemed to notice how close she was after she got there. Reaching out, Relena put her hand out and pushed gently on Heero?s wrist to lower the muzzle of the gun.

?I want you to know that if you really wanted to kill me? and if you had a reason for it, I would let you.?

His eyes drifted up from where her hand covered his wrist to her face. ?Why??

She smiled. ?Because I trust you. Because I love you. With all my heart.?

Though his expression remained flat, Heero lowered the gun to his side, hanging onto it with a weak grip. Relena dropped her eyes, but easily managed to take the gun from his hand. It almost fell from his fingers when she touched it. Carefully, she set it on the ground and then straightened.

She smiled at him, not with need or fear or anxiety, but with sincerity. ?I love you,? she repeated, and wasn?t sure what she expected to happen from there.

His eyes suddenly softened and he leaned his head down the same moment she lifted her chin up. His lips met hers softly, but hungrily, taking what they had only dreamed about, his fingers barely feathering her cheeks to hold her still. She swooned into his kiss, rising up on her toes to touch his face, her right hand winding around his neck. His arms came around her when she touched him, wrapping around her waist, the heat of his hands sinking though the thin material of her nightgown and warming her skin. Their kiss deepened, breathing into each other, desperate and demanding and needy? until Heero suddenly ripped his mouth away.

He stumbled back from her, bringing a hand up to hide his eyes from her and then turning around completely so that she could not see him. The abrupt removal of his presence was replaced with a chill as cold air rushed in to fill his place. He moved to the far wall, shaking the hand that had reached up to caress her bare back as if it hurt him.

?Heero,? she said. She had never wanted anything more in her life than him at that moment. ?Heero, it?s okay. It?s okay for you??

?Stop,? he said, not loudly, but with sufficient force to silence her. He bent his head, his breathing audible, struggling to contain his energy and chain it into as small an area as possible.

Realizing how little she wore and that that must not be helping, Relena returned to bed, climbing under the warm sheets and pulling the covers up over her body. When she was covered, Heero looked up, his eyes burning with a cold blue fire that was neither anger nor lust nor anything she had expected. It was mechanized passion, raw and intense and directed at nothing.

?Come sit down,? she said quietly. ?I won?t touch you.?

?It was a mistake to come here,? he said. He looked like he was about to fall over.

She closed her eyes, not sure how to respond. When she opened them, he was sitting at the foot of her bed with his head hanging down and his elbows on his knees.

?I can?t kill you, Relena.? It was a defeated statement, uttered despairingly in the manner of someone who had failed.

She wasn?t sure what to say to that either, so she ignored it. ?Heero, the war is over. You can do what you want now. I?ve always half hoped that you would come to see me, but I knew it was selfish. I know I can?t keep you. No one can.?

?I don?t know what to do with my life.?

?You?ll figure it out.?

He turned his head to look at her, his eyes glimmering with emotions unexpressed and clouded by confusion and fear.

?I don?t know what I want for myself either,? she said. ?I don?t know if the work I am doing is useful. I don?t even know why it is me, but every day I keep trying, and I know that you are the same way, because we are both people who are not used to giving up, who are used to doing what we set out to do.?

?If I was to have my way,? Heero replied slowly, and suddenly she realized the way he was looking at her was different, his eyes heavy, but his voice remained the same. ?I would be two people at once. I would be the soldier this world needs and the man you want.?

Her breath caught in her throat.

?But I can?t live like that. And this world needs soldiers. I know how to do that. I don?t know how to love you.?

?Heero??

He stood up at the edge of the bed and moved toward her. When he sat back down again, he was seated beside her, his hands falling to either side of her body as his head came down to kiss her gently on the forehead.

?You?re a stupid girl,? he whispered.

Her eyes opened and she seized one of his wrists, trapping him beside her while her other hand went up to the collar of his shirt, swiftly undoing the first button to make her intentions clear.

?Make love to me,? she said. It wasn?t breathy or ambiguous or even so much of a question. It was a statement full of hope and daring and love.

?I can?t,? he said, but his tone was less sure, and she knew it. Raising herself off the pillow, she draped both of her hands over his shoulders and slid one of them down to his neck, undoing the buttons of his shirt one after the next until the garment hung open loosely. He didn?t stop her or say anything. His eyes were open while she did it, watching her undress him silently.

?Heero,? she said, not meeting him in the eye but continuing to shed his barriers methodically. ?I know what I want right now. If you know for sure that you want to live and die as a soldier the rest of your life, I cannot stop you. But if you?re not sure, then please? do this for me, even if it?s just to find out. After, if you want to go, I won?t stop you.?

There was silence for a moment filled only with heavy breathing as the last of his buttons came undone and her hands sprung free of her shirt. It was like the pause before the drop, and Relena braced herself for the split decision he would make?either way?that would change her life. His hesitation was not long. It was with a mixture of fear and relief that she felt him coming down to her. His mouth descending on her lips choked the air out of her. She fumbled with her hands, finding his smooth chest as he leaned over her, his hands threading through her hair and caressing the contours of her neck as he pushed her down on the bed.

Breaking the kiss raggedly, she pushed the covers aside and slid over to allow Heero under them. He removed his pants while she did, kissing her while he struggled out of them, his breath quickening more than the movement could account for. When he reached for her again, she didn?t restrain herself. His lips claimed her mouth and his hands sought her body with feverish need. She arched her body against his touch, gasping as his hands found the hem of her nightgown and slid under it, pulling the material up her body on both side until he pulled it over her head and tossed it to the ground.

?Oh god?? she gasped.

His hands caressed her bare skin luxuriously. He was shaking as he explored her, the trembling almost imperceptible at first but growing more noticeable with each inch of skin he touched on her body.

?Heero,? she demanded. ?Please. I want this so much.?

?You talk too much,? he growled, and his lips roughly silenced her as he pulled his body up on top of hers.

His lips drifted down to kiss her neck as he settled his weight on top of her. The feel of his weight on top of her was enough to make her frantic to continue. He was lean and muscular and heat radiated from his body, heating her in turn, and the feel of his muscles against her softness was exquisite. But not satisfying enough. She shifted until she could feel his erection against her stomach, and in turn the kisses on her neck moved to her ear with reassuring need. She pushed to be closer still, rocking against him as Heero murmured a breathily a litany of half-formed words in her ear that strummed a chord in her like a guitar. Before she had time to register their pace, she felt Heero pressing her knees apart as he slid his naked body between them.

?Not yet!? she whispered, kissing his neck the way he had kissed hers, biting his shoulder to communicate her appeal through the haze of his lust. ?Not yet,? she panted. ?Heero. I need??

He nodded silently and she felt his hands run down her sides before he rolled sideways off her, kissing her shoulders and wrapping one arm around her body while the other hand descended across her stomach to slip between her legs. She felt his hardness against the small of his back and pushed against him, eliciting a grunt of pleasure that he answered by holding her body captive with one arm. Just as suddenly, she felt him push his fingers between her folds and enter her. She squeezed her eyes shut, fisting the sheets with one hand as he explored her with a gentle, curious rhythm. He murmured her name into her ear, working her on her purpose, stimulating her as she pushed back against him, a whimper escaping her throat with each thrust of his fingers. Her hand reached behind her for his head, her fingers barely catching at his hair and reaching again just to be able to stroke him. His fingers lifted higher and began rubbing the nub just above her entrance hard and rapidly.

She gasped, and her hips moved in time with him until she was panting for release. She could feel his hardness against the small of her back growing slick with precum as his lust increased. He breathed wantonly in her ear, keeping time with her even though she was the one who felt her orgasm rising. Before she could say she was close, she felt his hand leave her core and grab his arm, rolling her over forcibly as he rolled on top of her.

?Relena, I can?t wait.? His hands tangled in her hair, begging her without words.

?Don?t stop,? she told him, and grasped his shoulders to brace herself as she felt him shove partially inside her. All of her attention was drawn to the feel of him pushing in deeper, sliding through the slickness until it began to hurt. She cried out with the pain, but Heero?s lips on hers silenced her scream, the passion of his kiss distracting her as he thrust swiftly in. It hurt, but he kept kissing her, his lips moving on hers repeatedly, drawing out her tears, his tongue exploring her mouth for the first time, fighting for attention with the invasion of the rest of him.

Slowly at first he began to move, his lips faltering on keeping contact with hers as the sensations swept through them both. Relena held onto Heero?s shoulders and back, tilting her hips up to meet him at an angle that slowly began to feel good. Thinking about the way it felt to have Heero pumping into her excited her and it wasn?t long before her head fell back against the pillow and she had to arch her back against his movements, trying to draw out the pleasure. She panted out his name and made wordless sounds of appreciation. Her whole body throbbed with pleasure that grew and fell like a wave slowly swelling in size.

Heero noised over her wordlessly, his lips kissing her throat as she shut her eyes, her hands dropping from his back to grab at the bed and then her own hair. She knew she was moaning, but her groans were only half formed, swallowed by the sensation of him inside her. His strokes lengthened and she could only manage the first syllable of Heero?s name before it became a scream. He filled and caressed her, holding onto his hips with a deathlike grip. His thrusting was getting sloppy, sliding into her without resistance, and the swiftness only heightened her lust.

?Oh, God. Heero! I think?I?m going to come!?

She couldn?t hold it. His growl was coarse and guttural. She thought she heard her name in it. His head bowed over her breasts, kissing them as he rode her hard. He had to hold her hips to keep her in pace, pumping too fast for her to keep up with him. She felt her climax grip her and grasped onto his back, biting his shoulder as her inner muscles tightened and the crash of pleasure rippled through her. She wasn?t sure how long it lasted, but when he body finally came down, it was with a satisfaction that left her feeling ragged. Heero came either during or right after she did, his breath hot on her neck as he released inside of her, his thrusts slowing down until he was emptied of his passion completely and collapsed over her.

He must have been tired. He was sweating heavily, but he didn?t stop touching her.

?Relena, oh god, I love you. Relena.? He kissed her shoulders and neck, his lips soft but desperate, his skin slick with sweat under her hands. She felt tears forming in her eyes as she ran her hands through his sweat-drenched hair and heard him whispering in her ear. ?I love you. I love you.? He wouldn?t stop saying it. It was all she could do to hold him. She didn?t know what to say.

After a minute, he calmed down, swallowing and breathing deep to regain his composure. She didn?t want him to move, but he rolled off her, falling heavily on his back beside her. ?I didn?t want to believe,? he whispered. ?What Zero told me; I didn?t think it could be true. Relena.? He turned his head, his eyes catching the color of the night. ?Tell me who I am.?

Confused, she could only stare at him. ?You?re??

?Am I soldier? Am I a weapon. A pilot? Am I some kind of mechanical god??

?You?re a man,? she said, and touched his face to cool his fevered talk. ?Heero, you?re just a man.? He turned her hand against his lips to kiss her palm.

?Heero??

He turned toward her, pulling her body against his, turning her back to him so that they fit together. He spoke into her ears as he caressed her curves.

?I can?t live like this, on the brink of two destinies I can?t choose between.? He was still touching her, stroking her skin, playing with her hair. ?What have I done? God help me, I don?t know what reality is anymore.?

She turned around and cuddled close to him, holding him close so that she could run her hand down his back. ?Shhh. You just made love to me. Heero, it was incredible. I love you. Just stay with me.?

His hand snaked around the back of her head and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms and legs around her body until she was lying naked right up against him. She lay facing him, staring at his chest, not knowing what he was thinking, or which destiny he would choose.

?I want you to stay here and love me like this,? she whispered. ?That?s what I want.?

He was silent, staring into her eyes, brushing his fingers across her cheek. ?But who will make sure your dreams can come true? Who will protect what you have created??

?Someday, you won?t have to choose.?

He kissed her, wrapping his arms around her body and pulling her into an embrace she couldn?t have escaped from if she wanted to. She listened to his heart beat, her legs entangling with his, and knew he was going to leave her tomorrow.

But not forever.

It?s over, Heero. It?s over.

If he did go, he would be back. They had made a home for each other.


Don?t forget to review! ^_~

[simmer]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!
*jumping up and down*

That was WONDERFUL! You write such vivid, believable stories.. not sappy, but satisfying nonetheless. Heero is perfectly in character. I love that once he has broken down and become human, he gets cuddly and holds Relena tight.
I read the first half beforehand, and I definitely recommend reading it to everyone else in order to get a feel for the overall story and to understand Heero's feelings as this second half begins. Though, I must say, if you are merely in the mood for a whirlwind of a love scene, this is it!

muah! muah! (french chef accent) Thank you so much, Zap!

~ever impressed,
simmer

[Raspberry]

Aw, the ending was beautiful. Just beautiful. And the way they spoke to each other after... ... was... I'm speechless. I can't find words to describe how beautiful it was.

Perfect work, Zapenstap. Though I didn't read the first part, I get everything clear. I think it could go as a one-shot.

Once again - great job!

[lilac310]

whew!..this is sizzling...I agree with Simmer and Raspberry....I'm very impressed!!! Great job!

[Tomorrow]

Okay, I'm risking a reply, Zapenstap, on an emotional high. Beware of my giddiness. I feel like I'm on cloud nine, here.

This. Was. Great. I have always believed that when Heero and Relena made love, it would be something that binds them forever. End of discussion. Come heaven or hell. I can't really explain it, but they both seem so loyal to their causes, that it could only follow that they'd forever remain faithful to each other. Because Heero was denied any sort of positive emotion for so long, when he was given love in the physical form of sex, an act that in and of itself has the potential to be the epitome of emotion, it would mean the fall of his walls and the shackling of his heart to the woman - i.e. Relena.

Eternal.

When Heero kept repeating the "I love you's," I trembled. It seemed so right that you had him do that. Everything about this whole story just seemed perfectly crafted, perfectly played out.

I was blushing through most of it (as I've told you before, I usually don't read lemons. Though yours I can definitely appreciate, because they portray the act as it was meant to be: a unifying expression of love). However, it was definitely worth the read. It really was beautiful.

By the way, I enjoyed the first part as well. I read it many, many months ago, but I still remember it - that should be an indication of how much I enjoyed it.

Keep it up, Zapenstap!

~Tomorrow

[Morrighan]

WOW. That was amazing....

Extremely well done, zapenstap!

[Mandaba]

I love reading your fics, and this was definitely a good one! no doubt. as it was previously said, the characters seem pretty much in, well, character. ah i loved it

[sweet_me_beajai]

hey!! that was really good!!! not your typical Heero-Relena lemon! well done!!

i have a question though:

Who's Sheila and why did Heero say that she was his lover?????

[Wingnut]

hey!! that was really good!!! not your typical Heero-Relena lemon! well done!!

i have a question though:

Who's Sheila and why did Heero say that she was his lover?????

What are you talking about? Where is that?

Anyway It is important to read the first part first, as Heero interacts with the Zero system and gets it in his head to go and do this, Ras.

I am amazed that this turned out the way it did. I thought this like many others by many authors was consigned to history, but you finished it in a very good way.

[Tomorrow]

Sweet_Me_Beajai:

Sheila is not Heero's lover, but Jim's. I can understand why you were confused, though. The clue is in the line's wording, as it says that she was his [Jim's lover] as far as Heero could tell. Since Heero would know whether or not he's having sex with a woman, we can assume that Sheila is NOT Heero's lover. The only other male really mentioned was Jim (the captain), so we then come to the conclusion that HE must be Sheila's lover.

I hope that helped clear it up a little. ^_^

~Tomorrow