Love Beyond Fear 8/?

[Gundam Girl]

As a warning, this is this chapter that will probably change your entire view on this fic. Prepare for some shock. On another note, the response to this fic from everyone has been wonderful. Please continue to let me know your thoughts and feelings!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Miss Saigon. I?d also like to remind you that some dialogue and story narration is taken directly from the show for the amusement of those familiar with it, and I do not claim to own that.

Love Beyond All Fear ? Chapter Eight

By Gundam Girl

He saw it again. Every night, he saw it. Every night, he saw her.

There was always people there. Mobs of people in groups of hundreds, maybe thousands. Smoke scented the gray air like a kind of sadistic perfume, throwing him harder and harder into despair. He saw faces he knew; Trowa, Wufei, Quatre, Duo, Hilde. He even saw Fair View?s work engineer, Howard and the many whores. All of them had one goal: to get out, to leave home or to get there. America coursed through them and all of them wanted it.

Heero?s goal was the same as theirs. He wanted to leave this smoke-grayed land, where the food was in short supply, clean water was a chance of luck, and escaping illness was nearly impossible. In this town, so seedy in its nature, disease lit up like a wildfire. Like the flames that were slowly devouring everything in sight.

Over all of the desolation, there was always the constant sound of bulky engines, roaring loudly like a scream. They called out to him: You have no time, and you have no hope, and no chance, and no love.

He denied it, called back to the screaming engines every night, yelling how wrong they were. Then Heero realized it wasn?t the engines trying to discourage him. It was the hordes of people, frantically chasing for the base, desperate to get inside and on those planes. Some of them stopped and reached for him, grabbing at his clothes and skin, begging, pleading for him to help them get out of the wretchedness that they had been born into.

But he was selfish. Even as their shouts for mercy and help deafened him, he barely heard the words. He couldn?t think of them. He couldn?t afford to think of them until he had?

It was like a poison, this terrible loss. It dripped from the place she had last touched him ? his lips, as though he had drank from her ? down his throat, to his heart, drying the life out of him. Heero expected to die any moment.

Shadows passed over the town as the mood changed from dark to black. Incredible heat that threatened to melt happiness spread, coming from the far reaches of the city. A rhythmic beat of marching met his ears, and the screams grew louder, and the scrambling grew violent. He?d already seen four dead men bleeding on the ground, trampled to death.

Even though his stomach turned in natural nausea, the ache in his heart was were. Right now, no matter what else was happening here or in the entire world, he was a fanatic. He was obsessed with finding her.

?Relena!? His voice was strangled and hoarse even to his own ears. ?Relena!? God, why couldn?t he find her? ?Relena!?

The marching grew louder, but the screaming died down, the voices softly muting themselves with tiny echoes bursting around him. Suddenly, all the sound was gone. The crowds continued to furiously move, but they were silent now, their voices trapped and locked.

Except for one.

?No! Nooo!? It sounded feminine, soft even in its desperation. Torturously innocent. It could only be her.

Heero ran faster, through the swarms of bodies, jumping over small children if necessary. He could feel the soles of his army boots protest as it hit the uneven rocks that formed the street beneath him.

?Don?t! Stop it!?

The shrieks boiled his blood. Both angry and afraid, Heero nearly pushed an older man out of his way. ?Relena!?

?Heero? Heero! Heer?!?

He came to the brick building of Fair View, saw the people inside, and burst through the doors. Badges and guns flashed in the dim light of the bar. The Japanese army stalked like a dragon. And like most dragons, they preferred pretty females as their prey.

They were soundless as well, but the sneers and smirks on their faces spoke loudly enough. With his face pale and his flesh cold, Heero made his way over to the small part in the sea of soldiers. Looking where one of the colored lamps aimed on the floor, red and chilling, he saw the small body of a young woman.

Her skin was white, her long hair was golden and everywhere; fanned out beneath her head, curled lightly over her shoulders, spread over one of her arms that was near her left ear. Overall, she looked perfectly fine.

Except that she had no face. What had once been a set of eyes, a nose and a mouth, was now a mound of rotting flesh, blood that was darkened by the crimson light above her.

Heero saw the soldier standing just beyond her, his grin the widest and most ruthless. In his grip was a flaring torch. The sounds of Japan being slaughtered suddenly whisked back to his ears, and he heard the torch-holding soldier laugh nastily. Then he felt murderous heat from the same fire that had killed the woman he?d loved. Tipping his chin up in resign, he chose his last word.

?RELENA!?

And as the flame filled his vision, so did a shadow. A figure, the silhouette of a person. Someone small and weak. Someone that he didn?t know.

---

Relena eyes were shining with tears and ferocity. Watching her cousin, she could see him tremble angrily, his hair mussed and his face pale. The overall effect of him was a man gone wild, like a mad dog on the rampage.

?Say again,? he murmured, voice deadly, ?what you just said.?

?I am not going to betray Heero,? she told him bravely even as she shook before him. ?No matter what you decide to do, I will not betray him.?

?How can you care for him, Relena?! He left you! He left you here to die while he went back to the country of fortune and gold. He wanted nothing more than your body.? Treize stepped toward her. ?He didn?t want to share any of his life with you!?

Relena lip curled as the words pricked and stung her. ?That isn?t true. The things he said to me, he promised me ? they weren?t lies, Treize. You don?t know Heero.?

?I know him as the man who seduced my wife and took from me what was rightfully mine!? His voice pitched up a notch. ?I know him as the bastard who could betray the country of his own roots and throw it at the feet of American trash! He influenced you to betray me as well.? Trieze?s hands were fists held close to his sides. ?What was promised years ago for us was never to be broken. Relena, you let him make you believe it would not be shameful to forsake your parents? words to mine! That it would not be shameful to tarnish our blood!?

?I do not deny that it may be shameful!? Relena fist went to her throat as if to press down the lump there. ?But I do not believe, either, that my family would wish me to be chained to a loveless marriage. Blood is just that ? blood! It is not as symbolic as you wish it to be!?

Treize?s eyes were wide with disbelief. ?You cannot be saying this! The traditions we were raised on, do they matter nothing to you? Relena!?

?What matters to me?? Relena swallowed and the tears welled and fell, but she did not sob again. ?There is a secret, Treize, that you never could have known of. Here, I have kept it and locked it away from the world so that it might not be reached.? Her voice did not quaver. She looked as though in a trance. ?The force inside it is a power you?ll never know.?

He was confused and looked like it. ?What are you talking about, Relena? Explain yourself!?

?You?ll tell me it?s a sin, that it?s treason to break the promise my parents made. But Treize, in the face of this, I would sin a hundred more times!? Her eyes never left his. ?I survived three years when I wanted to die, because Heero and I were not together. He is all I ever wanted. And since you want so terribly to know why I continued to live in shame?? She took a deep breath. ?I will show you.? Looking around, she made sure they were alone. Taking a step back, she disappeared into the other room.

Treize could hear a creaky hinge working, and then he heard Relena?s voice murmur something softly and tenderly. When he saw her again, she was not alone.

In her arms, there was a small child. A boy, with tufts of thick hair the color of brown walnuts and eyes like Relena?s was pressed against his cousin?s chest, his face curious and afraid. He knew within an instant that it was hers and Yuy?s.

?Look, Treize,? she said quietly. ?This is my son. He is why I am still living today and talking to you at this moment.? Her eyes were full of pity for him, and perhaps for herself and the child. ?Now do you understand? This is why I must tell you no!?

---

Hilde was not hungry. Duo could see that and he was worried. In the very small kitchen of their New York City apartment, he sat with her at a two-person wooden table and held her hand. She wouldn?t even eat the chocolate bar he had bought for her in the square.

?Babe,? he murmured, looking at her sad, cornflower-colored eyes. ?Talk to me. Why are you being like this, Hilde? You seem so depressed.?

Hilde did not raise her eyes from the full plate of stroganoff in front of her. It had long since grown cold. ?Don?t you realize, Duo? It?s been three years since I came here. And today is??

His fingers tightened over hers. ?Hilde, you?re stressed. I understand, but starving yourself isn?t going to help you feel better.?

?Duo! When I think about it, I have no right to feel better!? She shot up from her seat and spread out her arms. ?Look at me! Look at who I am now!?

Duo did. She was wearing a lavender dress of a fine material. He had bought it for her on their last wedding anniversary, when he had also taken her to dinner at the most expensive restaurant in New York. His job as a journalist for the New York Times paid him better than most people. ?I see you, Hilde,? he replied.

?This is who Relena wanted to be!? she exclaimed. ?She wanted to be an American woman, the wife of an American man ? Heero?s wife! She loved him so much, Duo. Didn?t you see that every time they looked at each other?!?

?I saw it,? Duo affirmed. ?Heero was the exact same way. I watched him suffer for months, babe. He was then like you?re being now. And you know that it didn?t do him any good, so why should it be different for you? Hilde.?

Slowly, she sank back into the chair. He was beside her then, standing over her and pulling her back to lean against his chest. ?She was the only friend I had there, Duo. And most of the time I didn?t even treat her like one. I just wanted to make sure I beat her to the money. I can?t say I was trying to protect her from the men, because that wasn?t what I was doing. I was just a selfish bitch!? A hand rose to cover her mouth. ?God, Duo.?

?Shhh.? Duo eyebrows were lowered over his cobalt eyes. The swing in his braid was less jovial. ?I know it?s painful for you. Babe, it wasn?t easy for me either to stand there with you and watch Heero lose Relena. But maybe now, it?s starting to become easier. For him. He really does love Catherine. I hadn?t seen him smile in almost two years when he told me he planned to ask her to marry him.? His gut twisted. ?But when he told me that, I could tell he felt it was kinda like betrayal. As though he was forgetting her.? He looked at the wall beside him. ?Maybe he was. Or trying to, anyway. Humans have a natural instinct to forget whatever it is that makes them hurt. Especially Americans. We?re used to having our way, so we?re weak.?

Hilde ran a hand through her hair. It was down her shoulders now. ?I?m sorry I behaved like this. I never want to do anything that causes you pain, Duo.?

?Babe.? He led her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist. ?Nothing you do could ever give me pain. In fact?? He genuinely smiled at her. ?I want to know something. How do you feel about trying really hard to have kids now? I know we haven?t been lucky yet, but??

Hilde brushed her tears away as a true grin lit up her dollish face. ?Oh, Duo! Of course I want to have children with you!? As she stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him, another tear rolled from her closed eyes down her cheek ? Relena had always wanted children, too.

---
Treize?s face was blank as he looked at Relena and the small person held to her. His face had lost any color it might had still clung to earlier, and every part of him was searing hot with nerves and surprise. ?What have you done?? he asked quietly. ?How long???

?Derek,? she said. ?It?s an American name. He will be three years old in a little more than two months.?

?Derek,? Treize repeated. The name was like vinegar in his mouth. ?Relena?? His squeezed his eyes shut violently. ?RELENA! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!?

Relena?s arms were tight around her son. ?Treize. Tell me what you??

?No one can ever know of him! Those that do must die!? he exclaimed. ?That bastard fouls our name!?

?You can?t pin the blame on him for something that I let happen!? Relena shouted back. ?Look at him, Treize. He is harmless! He can do nothing to threaten you!?

?He already has,? Treize seethed. ?You whored your body to that Jap so you could have this child, didn?t you?! To keep away from me!?

?I did nothing of that sort!? When Treize started to walk toward her with an unhealthy gleam coating his eyes, she backed away. ?Don?t touch my son, Treize!?

?Do you not understand?!? He held out his hands, fingers taught as he half-pleaded to her. ?Can you not understand? You are my wife, Relena! You have been ever since we were children ourselves! Having that damned man?s child will ruin both of us, in this world and in the next. God will send us to hell!? One of the quaking hands moved to his belt. ?There is nothing else for us to do.? From the belt, he pulled a sharp dagger. ?This boy is not able to remain alive!? Pointing the blade toward Derek, he stepped forward.

?NO!? Relena half-dropped Derek to the ground as she blocked him bodily. Treize stopped and in a flash, all of her fear was gone, and her gaze was cool and extremely controlled against Treize?s unleashed rage. ?You will not touch him.?

?You cannot stop me. You are nothing but a woman,? he spat. It was too late to hide his true feelings as this point. And Relena was asking for it. ?No woman can harm me.?

?I will if I have to,? she countered. ?Don?t touch my boy. He?s the only reason I live, and I do so for him. If there is anything in the past three years that has given me happiness, it is Derek.?

?He is my enemy!? exclaimed Treize. ?He lures you from me, cousin! You belong to me by law set down years before his existence.?

?If time was important to me, do you think I would still be waiting for Heero?? she asked.

?He must be completely erased from our world, Relena. Forget him! He is only a child, and he taints our blood that we agreed would stay European.?

?You agreed!? Relena shouted. ?I never wanted to marry you! Nothing you say or feel is going to change that.? Her heart began to beat at a wicked tempo that she could practically taste. And reached inside her kimono. Fumbling only slightly, she pulled out the gun Heero had left with her so long ago. She aimed it at Treize?s heart.

He sneered at her, contorting his perfect features. ?But of course, you have a gun. And now I suppose you?re going to use it to kill me? I see it?s also an American gun.? He shook his head, still holding the knife. ?To protect your falsely American son.? He took another step.

?Don?t touch my little boy!? she repeated furiously. Her face was pink as her hair fell about her shoulder. When Treize took another step, she released the safety on the revolver as she had taught herself. ?If I were you, I would not test my will.?

?You are so utterly mistaken!? he shouted. ?So, so much! Relena, were you never willing to be happy??

?I was happy,? she corrected Treize. ?With him. I?m warning you,? she said when her cousin dared to more closer. ?For Derek??

?You don?t even know how to kill. You have always been far too innocent.? But even Treize knew that innocence could be blown apart by a strong wind. And he was certainly very strong.

?I?ll kill if I feel I must! I?ll even kill you, my cousin, I?ll kill anyone who tries to hurt him.? She felt the tears in her throat but she forced them away from her eyes. ?I won?t allow him to be hurt.?

?Then you mustn?t hesitate.? Saying this, Treize laughed, and the sound was cold and bitter. ?Little Relena Peacecraft, my cousin who would rather pick daisies than play bandit. Well, you?re a bandit now, aren?t you, Relena? Stealing from me the honor that was to be mine!?

Relena?s hand did not waver as she moved the gun to the place between his eyes. She was surprised at how light and warm the steel felt in her palm. Remaining silent, she waited.

She did not wait long. A frightening, animalistic growl tore from Treize?s throat as he lifted the knife and dashed forward. She could hear Derek scream. With her free left hand, she stretched out an arm and blocked Treize off from her son. ?You will not get to my child!? she swore.

?Go on and shoot away!? he taunted. ?He will die!?

I have no other choice, Relena thought. What I must do? Sweat dripped down her face as her fingers and resolve firmed. I will. Lowering her hand to Treize?s chest, she pulled the trigger.

Treize stepped back a few feet, and his grayish eyes met her. Shock was evident on his face, but so was knowledge. Perhaps he had been unsure of whether she could really harm him, her cousin, or not.

?I?ll not,? he gasped, ?stay?away?? His body suddenly crumpled to the ground, and Treize did not move again.

The house was silent for several long moments. Then Relena heard the small voice of Derek whimper behind her. Crouching down, she blocked his view of Treize with her body. ?Quick, my son,? she murmured, pressing light kisses to his forehead. ?Go get the bag.? As Derek scrambled away, she turned back to her cousin and kneeled beside his body. For a moment, she held his head in her lap and leaned over it, staring into his lifeless eyes. Tears fell from her face onto his.

?I am sorry, cousin,? she murmured. ?I am so sorry?? Rising, she met Derek in the other room. There was a small hole in the floor that led to the back of the house. Derek being so small, he fit through it easily. Relena hadn?t eaten much of anything in the past three years and managed to squeeze through as well.

Outside, she took the boy?s hand and looked back only once at the place she had stayed since the abandonment of the Americans. She would always think of it as only that, never as home. The only place she would call home was where Heero was.

She still wanted very much to go home.

Lifting the bad of emergency items she had stored away for months, she picked up Derek as well and ran into the woods. Some would think of it as running away. Relena thought of it as running home.

---

Review please!

[Morrighan]

OMG.... It WAS possible for her to have a child... Poor Relena! She's had to go through so much...and I have the feeling that it's only going to get worse.

Can't wait to see more, GG!!

[deathroseaiko]

This story is so much like Madame Butterfly! If you make Relena go through anymore pain, GundamGirl, I'll kill you! Make Heero go back to Relena again!!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

[Gundam Girl]

Morrighan, I'm glad you like it, sweetie.

As for YOU, deathroseaiko, thanks for not giving anything away. *hugs* I've had some people do that on FFN, so I'm angry with them. But you are an angel.

'If you make Relena go through anymore pain, GundamGirl, I'll kill you! Make Heero go back to Relena again!!!'

Hon...you might have to kill me...

[deathroseaiko]

Hmph! Well at least make 1 VERY romantic scene happen or make an alternate ending!! Madame Butterfly may be romantic but completely a bummer!

And I'm going to kill you, after I read it all.

[Gundam Girl]

Hm, I can try for a romantic scene, but I don't think it's very possible... *sigh* I wish it WAS...

[deathroseaiko]

*sniff* So sad......

[Ainohikari]

There shall be more right? If there isn't i think I'll go crazy. It is so sad now... It'll be happier right? I love this story...

[Gundam Girl]

Ainohikari, I'm only going to say there will be more. Thanks for reading!