Life Is Beautiful, When You Don't Look Down (3)

[Perfect Soldier]

AN~ Argh! It took me forever to write this. I apologize to the few people who actually do read this story. Thanks for your patience. Enjoy.

Chapter 3

Crash'n Burn



For You

by

Staind

To my mother, to my father,
It?s your son or it?s your daughter,
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence is what kills us!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!

The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don?t know how to listen
And let me make my decisions

?Cause I sit here locked
inside my head remembering everything you said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere fast!

All your insults and curses make
Me feel like I?m not a person
And I feel like I am nothing but
You made me, so do something
?Cause I?m fucked up because you are
Need attention, attention you couldn?t give

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you said
The silence is what kills us!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!




Tears.

I can feel Sango?s tears?

I always had hated it when people cry, namely my father. Whenever I would see him break down in tears I never knew what to do, so I hid. I ran from him and did my best to try and stay away.

Looking back now, it was a foolish thing to do but that?s how I learned. My mother used to always be there to wipe away my tears, but she died, now, no one does.

Father was always in such despair and never knew how to handle himself afterwards. I don?t want to say it was pitiful to see a grown man cry like he did, but being at my age it only made me feel worse. That is, if he is already crying, what is there left for me? I never knew. It felt wrong to cry with him because I wanted someone strong to protect me, protect me from my own fears. He never could though, no, he was fighting his own demons.

Really, I guess it doesn?t matter now, since he?s dead. Even as I say it I can feel the sadness welling up inside me but nothing comes out. I can?t say I?m out of tears because I always did my best not to cry. Not because it made me feel weak, but vulnerable, I suppose.

It is a stupid thing but that?s all I know. I take the sadness that I feel and direct it towards other things, just bottle it up until it finally reaches the breaking point. It?s not healthy, but I won?t change. How can I now?

Impossible.

That?s how it feels.

Even now, as I hold this girl in my arms, I don?t know how to make her stop crying because I want to cry too. I want to cry just to cry, just because it?s been so long?but I can?t. I wont? let myself and because of it I shoulder my own unhappiness and pain.

What a stupid thing to do, yet, it feels instinctive, that I must handle myself and not depend on people, not because I?m afraid they?ll go away, but because I don?t want to be let down again.

That?s how I feel. Abandoned by my father. Ever since mother had to die he changed so much. He was no longer a man who couldn?t stop smiling, just the empty shell of a person torn by heartache. To me, it felt like I was all but forgotten he was too caught up in himself to help ease my pain.

So now, that?s how I function. Unable to cry, doing my best to feel nothing and let emotions slide past me or just pretend they don?t exist. I know they do though.

Sango?s tears remind me of what sadness feels like as well as the pain of loneliness. That?s probably why I?m not close to many people. Mainly Kagome and Inuyasha, but even they don?t know that much about me. Because I don?t want anyone to worry about me, I avoid talking about my past to them. Stupid, I know, but that?s what happens. We never learn any better, and it becomes hard to break old habits.

As for being with girls, it?s true; I usually don?t feel anything for them. Yet, they don?t even care about that, as long as I hang around their arm like an ornament or a prize they?re happy. Most don?t look for companionship or affection, they just straight up want to fuck or use me for more popularity.

Whatever. It doesn?t affect me either way. The only thing I hate is breaking up with a girl. Usually, they?re the ones done with me, but some, some are serious and it?s hard to tell someone that they never really loved you.

I?m a breaker of hearts and bringer of tears, so does that give me a right to comfort this girl now? Is it wrong of me to save her from disparity? Will I only be hurting her in the long run?

It always seems to happen, one girl gets too attached and the fun ends, there?s no more happiness, just a bitter person I took advantage of.

Now, I?m afraid, I would never want to do the same to her. No one deserves that, but I don?t do anything to stop it. That?s what I have to do now, however. I need to stop this vicious cycle because what makes it a cycle is the fact that it continues. I won?t let it anymore.

?Sango,? said Miroku quietly. ?Are you going to be okay??

She still was nestled tightly in his arms and her face was streaked with dried up tears. Her body shivered less as the rain continued to come down but was wrapped in the safety of Miroku?s arms. ?Y-yes,? she stuttered a little, ?I think so.?

?Good,? he said softly, and strengthened his grip over her a little more. The more she spoke the more she seemed helpless to him and the more he wanted to keep her safe.

For a moment Sango had to catch her breath. She wasn?t expecting Miroku to be so? compassionate. No one had ever treated her the way he was. It nearly brought tears to her eyes. ?Thank you, for everything. You?re very kind.?

He shook his head, ?No thanks necessary. I was happy to do it. You?re a very nice girl.?

?Could you tell other people that,? she spat bitterly. She didn?t mean for it come out but those things just kind of slip. It was obvious not many people thought much of her.

?I don?t need to.? He pulled her a little closer to him and lowered his head down to her neck. ?If people can?t see how great you are on their own, then they?re just too dumb to even bother with. You need to think higher of yourself, Sango.?

The steamy heat of Miroku?s breath caused Sango?s neck hairs to stand on edge as she tried to form a reply. She was at the moment, stunned. ?I?I never knew anything different.?

His eyes seemed to downcast a little, but he kept his firm grip over her. ?That?s a shame, a girl like you, got a lot going for ya.?

She remained silent for a moment, ?What are you implying by that??

That had caught him off guard. Miroku was the one who usually played the fiddle to his tune, not the other way around. ?I don?t really know.?

?What kind of answer is that!?" Sango quickly covered her mouth, slightly shocked at what she?d said. She would never outburst like that with other people. Why am I so upset?

?Suppose it?s not a really good one.? He relaxed his body a little more and quickly felt more comfortable. ?I?m not sure but, I think maybe, you?ll be a person I want in my life right now.?

A person he wants in his life right now, me? The notion sounded crazy to Sango and she wanted to dispel all doubts A.S.A.P. ?What does that mean? You hardly know me.?

An odd awkward smiled spread across Miroku?s face as he let out a light hearted laugh. ?No one knows anyone, Sango. People hardly know themselves, let alone other people. You don?t need to know someone to trust them, you just have to believe there are still some good genuine people out there.?

A lump seemed to be forming in Sango?s throat as she urged Miroku to press on, ?What does that mean?? As his lips began to move she felt something give way in her stomach and felt as though she may internally combust.

The words helplessly rolled off Miroku?s tongue as his eyes stayed fixated on hers, ?Let?s move on with our lives, together.?

As soon as he said it, Sango immediately looked flushed as though she would pass out. What do I say to him?? Oh Kami. The familiar nauseating sensation returned to her stomach; she couldn?t even form a response.

Her action frightened Miroku mildly and he immediately elaborated. ?We hardly know each other and I?m not talking about anything romantic but?? His eyes looked down at the ground for a moment before raising them, they seemed to have a kind of twinkle to them. ?It?s a lot easier to have someone rather than no one at all. Even if we just start out as friends and stay that way I?d be happy. I just need someone.?

Someone. A friend. The words sounded almost foreign to Sango as she repeated them in her head. It was hard for her to form an answer for him; after all, there were so many uncertainties. She didn?t want to be thrown on an emotional roller coaster. She was already a wreck, nothing more was needed. Though this was true, there was something else, something about him that she admired and wished to grasp unto.

Those eyes. I want to be with that boy with those clear unhesitant eyes and sparkling smile. In a bold move, she reached her hand over to his and clasped it tightly. ?I?d like that,? she said quietly.

In an unexpected move he quickly gave her a peck on the cheek and smiled his brilliant smile. ?You don?t have to be shy. If we?re going to stand by each other we have to be comfortable. After all, as my friend, I?ll have to trust you conclusively.?

?I-I?? the notion was rather unfamiliar with Sango since she?d worked so hard to close herself off from other people and not be entangled in the webs of other?s emotions. ?I can try, I suppose.?

?Trying is the first step of doing.?

This had made Sango crack a smile, no matter what uncertainties she held within herself it seemed Miroku could make them just dissipate within seconds. ?You?re right.?

?Here,? Miroku reached into his pocket and grabbed a pen; grabbing her arm he scribbled down a short series of numbers. ?There?s my number, call me.?

?Wait, what!?? Her eyes seemed to go frantic for a moment as he stood, intending to go. ?You?re leaving??

He nodded, placing his hands in his pockets he looked up at the sky. ?Yeah, I think the weather is only going to get worse. If I were you, I?d go to the nurse and just stay there for the rest of the day. I mean, it?s nearly over.?

?It is,? she questioned. ?I had no idea it?d gotten to be so late.?

?That?s what happens when you get into a conversation with someone. Time just seems to be irrelevant.? He was about to walk off when he took a second glance at her and reached his hand down.

She looked up at him curiously. ?Yes??

?Let?s go together. I?m not going to leave you behind.? In one fluent motion he?d hoisted her up from the ground and held her tightly in his hand.

Sango didn?t speak she was just stunned.

?Don?t look so shocked, being together means being together. That?s what people do, they help each other.?

?And you?ll help me??

?Always.?

?Okay,? she nodded, ?okay.? She didn?t let go of his hands and together they walked off the roof, not looking back at it.

They went down the stairwell together not saying anything, classes were in session and they had to be quiet so as not to get caught. They were already in trouble for skipping classes, so they didn?t need to be in more for being caught in a staff only part of the building.

The door creaked open and two heads peaked out the corridor. As they thought, the halls were dead silent and the bell that had signaled the beginning of last hour had rung only but fifteen minutes ago.

?Alright,? breathed Miroku. ?It doesn?t look like the assistant principal or anyone is monitoring the hall, so we should make it to our respective objectives.?

Sango just listened to him as he spoke, she couldn?t help but notice his business like attitude towards it. For her, it was rather comical and she could tell he had a lot of experience with this sort of thing.

?Lead the way, "Oh Captain, My Captain.?

Miroku gave a wavering smile as he slipped out the door with Sango right beside him and proceeded quickly straight down the hall. The only obstacle was the main office, in which, if they were to be caught, their heads would be placed over a mantle.

Knowing this, Miroku decided the best course of action to take would be to slip past the office one at a time, crawling on all fours.

?You go first,? Miroku whispered. They were positioned just outside the office window. ?It?s more important that you make it.?

?Eh? Sure.? Sango wasn?t sure what game Miroku was playing and although weird, she decided not to spoil it for him. Getting down on her knees she proceeded crawling across the floor, careful to not blow her cover.

While Sango made her way across the floor Miroku couldn?t help his eyes from committing a small act of depravity as they were glued to her ass shaking about as she moved. Sango was oblivious to it and had made it all the way across when she heard a ?smash.?

What the? She turned her head in confusion and saw that the door had swung open and nailed Miroku right in the face as he followed behind her. His nose was dribbling a small amount of blood and a sheepish grin was on his face. The head administrator stood over him with a fierce presence.

?What may I ask, are you doing?? he said in a booming voice.

Resorting to the best tactics he knew Sango motioned to Sango to continue, then got up and wiped his nose. ?Oh, well, you see, I was just going to the nurse. As you can see my nose is bleeding and this is a problem.?

Only for a second did Sango look back and shake her head and then continue on to salvation. That idiot, how could he have paid so ill attention? She got back up and scrambled into the nurse?s office while Miroku dealt with the cruel fate handed to him.

?It is undoubtedly a problem that your nose is bleeding but that doesn?t explain to me why you were sneaking around my office to take care of it.?

Miroku?s eyes darted back and forth his brain was in overdrive trying to come up with a decent answer. ?Well, I??

?I?d like an answer that is believable, Mr. Sayama,? the principal forcefully reminded.

?Of course, it?s simple really, I was just trying to keep my head low to the ground. They say if you tilt your head back when you have a bloody nose that you?ll have stomach problems. Wanting to avoid this I moved around the floor with my body close to it. Because of that my vision was impaired and I was unable to see your door, and it un- expectantly slammed into my face.?

The principal did not look pleased. With his face stern and eyes wild he asked, ?You really think I?ll believe that story??

?Sir??

?That?s probably the most ridiculous excuse I have ever heard.?

At this point Miroku had bought enough time to form an idea. In his mind, he was home free, even if his principal didn?t realize it. ?Well sir, every minute we waste here, poking holes at my story the more I drip blood on our floors and the more health risks there are at stake. Not just for myself but others as well, who knows what blood diseases I may carry.?

That was definitely a point made there. Miroku did have the reputation to back such claims up. Not wanting to argue he decided to comply, ?Fine, go to the nurse but know you?ll be back in my office tomorrow to discuss your lack of attendance in class.?

?Yes, sir.? He quickly collected himself off the floor and darted away to safety. Wow, that was a close one. For a second there I thought I wasn?t going to make it.

For a second there, I thought I?d have to deal with him for another twenty minutes, trying to impose discipline. Oh well. Not taking a second look the principal walked casually away from the scene and figured a janitor would take care of the little mess. It was too long and stressful a day for him to worry about such things.

?Can I help you?? asked a cheerful voice. A plump middle-aged woman wearing a nurse?s outfit stood before Miroku with a large smile. ?Is there something you need??

?Yes, my nose you see, well, it?s bleeding.?

?Why yes, I can see that. I?ll get you a wet washcloth, feel free to sit down.?

Miroku did and took a seat down on a chair positioned just outside a curtained off room. He figured Sango must be in there resting so he decided it best not to disturb her.

?Here,? the nurse handed him the cloth, a smile on her face.

?Thank you.?

?You?re very welcome.?

Someone is cheery, must be all those antidepressants she takes or something. Miroku decided not to comment on her delighted disposition.

Why bother after all?

?Are you the boy Miss Moriyama was talking about??

His mind quickly jumped back to Sango and he nodded hastily. ?Yes, I?m him. Is she in here??

The nurse casually pointed her head in the direction of the curtains. ?She?s resting actually, she said she was having a rough day and a kind young man came and helped her down here. That was quite nice of you.?

Miroku was unfazed by the compliment his mind was only focused on Sango. ?May I go and see her then, to make sure that she?s alright??

She looked quiet for a moment but eventually shook her head ?yes.? ?Make it quick.?

?Sure.? With the cloth still in place over his nose he proceeded through the curtain and observed a resting Sango. Her eyes were wide open and looked mildly troubled. He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. ?You going to be okay??

Dazed as she was Sango responded sadly, ?I think so.?

This wasn?t very reassuring for Miroku. ?Hey, come on, I thought we were going to be okay. What?s wrong??

She sniffled as her head buried itself into her arms. ?Nothing is wrong, if anything I feel grateful. Right now though, I?m confused. Very confused.?

He wanted to press further but now wasn?t the time and place for any sort of probing. No, he?d be as supportive as he could. ?That?s fine, I understand. Here,? he grabbed her arm and pulled out the pen he still had in his pocket, ?you write your number down, and I?ll call you after school. How?s that sound??

She complied and through blurred vision managed to write down the number. ?Will you call then??

?If I get a chance. I?m actually going to a small party tonight. You could go if you wanted.? His eyes looked hopefully at her, he really wanted to introduce her to Kagome and Inuyasha.

The thought was pleasant for Sango but she would have to decline. There would be no telling what hell could be raised in her house for going to such a thing. ?No, I don?t think I can.?

Miroku wasn?t very hurt by this just disappointed but he could understand of course. ?No worries, maybe some other time.?

?Maybe.? She still felt really unsure. She concentrated her eyes on another part of the room, anything so long as it wasn?t Miroku. She didn?t want to see his face and the contempt and disappointment held within it, she assumed.

Geeze, Sango, don?t look so upset. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a friendly embrace. ?You didn?t do anything wrong. Don?t feel so bad about it. Take care of yourself, that?s all I want you to do.?

Amazingly, Sango was totally caught off guard by this move. He wasn?t made apparently and was even being very reassuring to her. He really is a friend. I can rely on him. ?I have to thank you again, for everything. You?ve done so much for me.?

?You?re doing it for yourself. Just remember, even if you?re afraid, just keep moving forward. There has to be something there to reach for.? He left her with a goofy grin and a warm feeling in her heart. Things were beginning to work out.

The door of the nurse?s office closed, and Sango was again left to her own thoughts. Thoughts of which that were enlightening and hopeful. She had something now and had the opportunity to find maybe even more.

It had been a long time since she?d been so hopeful and optimistic about the future. Even after trying to kill herself that whole incident seemed almost like ancient history.

Rolling over on her side, her eyes began to close and a smile rose just on the edge of her lips. My future is uncertain but I can at least say I have a future. That?s good enough. I don?t need anything more.

It fell harder.

The rain continued coming down in sheets and soaked Sango down to the bare bone. Her clothing wet and body soaked she squeaked into the front door of her house. When she woke up from the nurses office it was just after sixth period. She didn?t make it to the station in time to catch her train so she walked home. Not having an umbrella proved to be a problem, though it wasn?t fatal.

After all, she was home now and that what had mattered. Not even the sorry state of her now wet wardrobe could change how she felt about being home.

Am I relieved?

?No,? she said, fighting with her better judgment she slipped off her shoes quickly and plodded up the stairs. The aroma of dinner was heavy in the air, but she needed to be thinking with her brain and not her stomach.

Quickly, she opened the door to her room and shut it tightly behind her, almost frantically. The note! She had to find the note. To her relief, however, the note was still gently folded on her bed. A deep sigh escaped her, ?Thank Kami.? Feeling relaxed, she plotted down on her bed and waited for the beckoning of her father to come down for dinner.

Tatsuya shifted in his chair uncomfortably, ?I suppose Sango is home,? he said dimly. He had been in a good mood earlier that day but most of his hopes of a peaceful evening were dashed. When Sango was having a bad day the first thing she always did was race up to her bedroom and slam the door fiercely. Which she had just done, bringing him grief and the thought of another unpleasant evening with her bad temper.

Kohaku noticed his father?s somberness towards his sister?s return and couldn?t very well blame him. Sango was quite unpleasant to be with when angry about something, especially since the past two weeks in which his father?s girl friend, Kaori, had begun living with them.

?Should I call her down to eat?? Kaori asked thoughtfully.

?You better, she needs to eat something anyway,? replied Tatsuya calmly.

?Right.? She excused herself from the table for a moment and walked up the stairs, slowly creeping up to Sango?s room.

Sango could hear her stops and wished they would be moving away from her instead of towards her. She didn?t necessarily hate Kaori, but she didn?t like her either. She tried too much to be her mother, something Sango wouldn?t tolerate.

She rapped lightly at the door, ?Sango, come down for dinner.?

There was no reply from the bedroom, Sango?s head was wedged into her pillows.

?Sango?? she asked again.

A muffled response.

Kaori didn?t hear it and ventured inside. Sango didn?t make an effort to stop her as she entered the dark room, the lights were off and everything was quiet, there lying on her bed was a rather distraught Sango.

Her head turned towards the intruder and she said, ?I?ll be down in a minute. Please leave. Thank you.?

The harshness of which she spoke and the blandness of her words was something Kaori didn?t take too kindly on but knowing she probably couldn?t get to the girl at the moment she complied and left, bitter with herself and Sango.

Relief struck Sango?s face at the site of her leaving. Whether or not she was too harsh didn?t matter to her, she just wanted her to leave. Now she was alone and knew that she?d be expected downstairs shortly. She ran through her options and knew that whatever course of action she took there would be consequences.

If she went downstairs she?d have to face the barrage of questions thrown at her about her day and what her problem was. She didn?t want that.

The other option was to not come down at all and face another interrogation and possible reprimand for her actions. Neither of the options looked that good but seeing as she was hungry she went with Option A, face the parents.

Dragging her tired body off her bed and down the stairs she approached the kitchen. Immediately she was pierced by the sound of audible laughter and smell of soup.

That?s good at least, she thought. I could use something to warm myself up. Like a zombie she entered the kitchen and took her seat at the table. All eyes were on her and they felt heavy and judgmental. The room was silent. She wanted to get away but there wasn?t any going back now.

The first words out of her father?s mouth were, ?Why are you all wet, young lady?? His auburn colored eyes glinted as they focused themselves in on her.

She scanned the room trying to avoid her father?s gaze, finding nothing to focus in on she just turned her head to the floor. ?It was raining,? she replied gruffly. ?I missed my train and had to walk all the way back home.?

Continuing the questioning he asked predictably, ?Why did you miss your train??

?I was asleep in the nurse?s office.?

?You could have called.?

?There was no point in being a bother.?

The ringing sound of silverware filled the air as Tatsuya?s fist came down hard on the table. ?Damnit Sango, why do you always have to take that kind of attitude??

Sango was mildly startled by this action but remained defiant. ?If you?re going to get angry about it I?m just going to leave. I didn?t eat lunch today anyway so skipping another meal isn?t that big of a deal to me.?

Now that had struck a sour note with Kaori. ?What!? You didn?t eat any lunch today after not bothering to have breakfast.?

Kohaku watched as his sister was being slowly cut down. He felt sorry for her and wanted to help but there was nothing he could do. He stayed silent, watching for Sango?s reply.

What control she had on the situation was now slipping with both the adults attacking her, but she decided to stick to the game plan and not get bent out of shape, staying mellow. ?That?s right.?

?Christ, Sango,? her father?s voice cracked under his extreme frustration. His face was scrunched up and eyes ablaze. Sango had picked the wrong time to be depressed.

Kaori?s face faltered as she examined the young woman across from her over. Her face contorted into many expressions as she noticed the state of Tatsuya?s daughter. She had a thin looking figure, very thin, and a ghastly expression. That alone was a white flag that something was troubling her. The way her father spoke to her made her feel even more unpleasant. That wasn?t the man she wanted to see, and Sango, poor Sango, she looked almost too frightened to do anything.

Whimpering, all she could mutter was an, ?I?m sorry.? A single tear slid down her face and made a soft sound against the table.

Tatsuya remained quiet and didn?t say anything. While part of him did feel ashamed for his behavior another part was glad to know he?d put her in her place. It was always hard to deal with her, and he?d now just reached his breaking point.

Sango could feel more tears stinging her eyes and knew that her sobs wouldn?t be contained much longer, pushing out her chair quickly she left the room, devastated and unable to speak.

Now Kohaku was feeling uncomfortable. He felt disappointed for his father and angered with his sister. Why can?t those two just get a long? Since no one felt like saying anything he didn?t dare venture into conversation. He just sipped down his soup quietly, trying to vanish.

?Tatsuya,? Kaori touched his arm, ?I think we need to have a talk with Sango.?

His face remained neutral for a moment as he looked down at the table and shook his head. ?I realize that but talking with her feels impossible. Me and her, we?re worlds away right now.?

?You should still try.? She offered him a comforting smile.

?Easier said than done.?

?Than I?ll talk to her.?

That comment had brought out a small outburst in Tatsuya. ?You!? I?m sorry but, Sango? Well, she?s not exactly fond of you.?

Her face sank a little and she let out a knowing sigh. ?That?s true, but, you?re not having much luck with her either. Some things take a woman?s touch.?

?Babying her won?t bring her out of this slump, you know,? he said in a cool and knowing tone.

?Neither will yelling at her and making her feel isolated and alone!?

Game set and match, Kaori had won that round. As Tatsuya?s eyes remained glued to his plate in a dejected manner he nodded to her, saying silently, ?go then, good luck.?

She wanted to argue the issue more with Tatsuya but knowing it would get her nowhere at this point she just left the table and went upstairs after her. Even if she couldn?t get anything out of Sango at least she wouldn?t be abandoning or neglecting her.

The sound of Kaori?s feet coming up the stairs made loud panging noises within the depths of Sango?s, each step another stake in her heart. I don?t want this, she thought, it?s too much. All too much.

Her eyes squeezed themselves tightly as she curled up in feeble position fearing what may come next what the ultimate result of everything would be. Her suicide, Miroku, her father?s wrath, attitude problems, not eating, and everything else.

What?s going to become of me?

She didn?t know.

The knob of the door was about to turn when the phone began to ring. Quivering, she reached over and picked it up.

?Moushi, moushi?? she asked uncertainly.

?Sango, is that you,? the voice exclaimed.

She was mildly dazed for a moment when the realization of what the voice was hit her. ?Miroku??

?Hey!? he sounded rather exited.

?I??

She hung up the phone upon seeing Kaori entering her room. The worry expressed on her face was undeniable and the sincerity of her eyes was crippling.

?Sango.?

On the other end Miroku was shocked to hear only a dial tone on the other end, no Sango.

?I guess she didn?t want to talk,? he mumbled to himself, slightly angered.

The phone bang against the receiver and he got up and went into the kitchen. No one else was home yet it was just him. As he sat down at the table, grasping a can of Coke, a small feeling of emptiness had crossed his path. The apartment for which he was living in seemed even more bare than usual, two chairs, one only occupied, a small kitchen, a living room containing just a couch and an old TV with no reception, as well as a promiscuous and misplaced bed.

Yeah, that was his home, there wasn?t much there?ever. It was one of those hard truths staring you right down in the face. Sighing he got up and grabbed his jacket from the floor.

?Might as well go to Inu?s party.?

And that was that.

He walked briskly out the door and into the night?s chilling air. With no car he was left to walk a fair distance but being that he was used to it the time he made was quick and within a half an hour he would be there.

God, he thought, I can?t wait. Damn do I ever need this.

Kaori?s eyes traveled up and down Sango?s face trying to catch her expression. Troubled was the only word that came to her mind. She didn?t like it. Closing the door behind her she said, ?We need to talk.?

She tried swallowing the lump that had gathered up in her throat. She couldn?t. ?Fine,? her voiced managed to squeak out.

It wasn?t hard to sense the restlessness and nervousness confined within Sango but it led to Kaori wondering why. For what reason did she feel intimidated or scared of her. ?Sango,? she said curiously, sitting down on her bed.

Sango?s eyes avoided contact with Kaori and instead watched the movement of her body. She looked comfortable sitting on her bed, her hands folded neatly on her lap, legs folded over the edge. God, she thought, she?s so formal, business like almost.

?Sango??

Who am I kidding? I?m probably another job to her just a hassle she has to put up with to be with my father.

?Sango!? Kaori said, a little more force this time. ?Are you going to be okay?? Her hands slipped over to reach hers.

?Don?t,? she said in a hushed and fierce voice. ?I?ll be fine.?

At first sadness and guilt seemed to swell up in Kaori?s stomach, then anger. Helping her was all she wanted to do and the accusations made it that much harder. In her mind she could see how Tatsuya could easily grow so tired of these games. ?I don?t buy that one bit, Sango, now I want you to explain to me like an adult what the problem is.?

You! her mind screamed. She hesitated. ?What business is it of yours? Why don?t you go back downstairs and discuss with my father an appropriate punishment??

It was getting tougher now, her patience was beginning to dissipate. ?You must not think very much of me or your father, do you??

Sango didn?t answer. She?d let the woman ramble on if that?d get her to leave quicker, let everything off her chest.

?Or are you thinking something moronic like that we don?t care about you??

There was that we that had somewhat awoken Sango from her daze. She couldn?t deny her father?s romantic involvement with that woman but imply as far that she had a parental responsibility to her that went too far.

She didn?t realize it at first but teardrops were slowly plummeting unto her bed, Sango looked up in surprise when she heard Kaori?s voice asking, ?What?s wrong? What you crying for??

Panic struck her first. Her pride wouldn?t allow herself to cry in Kaori?s presence but there she was, blubbering almost.

Acting on pure womanly instincts Kaori?s arms flung around Sango and held her close, letting her cry into her shoulder while gently patting her back. In attempts to sooth her she spoke calmly, ?It?ll be okay just let it out, don?t worry Sango.?

Don?t worry? Don?t worry! What the hell is that!? Of course I worry. I worry that you?re going to be my mother. Worry that you?ll try to get involved in my life. Worry that I?ll never find happiness.

?Damn right I worry,? she screamed. She knew why she was upset but acting on it as she did shocked even her. She pulled away from Kaori and tucked her head into her knees, getting into a feeble position. I always worry.

The tears kept falling harder and Kaori was the one feeling helpless. How could Sango have slipped away so far? What was going on in her mind right now? She didn?t know. Things were far more serious than she could have imagined.

What am I going to do now? Kaori?s mind raced. It was obvious something needed to be done but such a something eluded her. She was too far gone at this point. Dejectedly she left the room with tears swelling in her eyes as well.

Tatsuya sitting on the couch looked up from his paper and gave a hard glance at Kaori. He could see she was distraught and knew things hadn?t gone well. ?What happened??

?Your daughter needs help, Tatsuya. Something is gravely wrong with Sango.?

He grunted, not fully understanding. ?Why, did she call you a bitch or what??

She shook her head. ?I wish she would of. It would have made things a lot easier for me. Instead, she just broke down crying. I tried to comfort her but she wouldn?t have me and her mind just seemed to be in such shambles.?

That was a disturbing thought. Tatsuya didn?t know how far away from his daughter he really was and by what Kaori was saying he knew they weren?t in the same galaxy anymore. ?What do you think we should do??

?A physiatrist, that?s what she needs. Because if we don?t get her some kind of help soon I?m afraid she may do something extreme.?

There wasn?t any need for her to go on, the picture was painted pretty clear. They were dealing with a teenager who was in an extremely delicate situation.

?I?ll start looking for one tomorrow, but right now, let?s get some rest.?

?That?s fine.?

The two went back up stairs, they could hear the faint muffled sobs of Sango?s and they both got a terrible feeling in their stomachs. Things were most certainly going to start to change. They just weren?t sure if it would be a good thing, even if needed.

Miroku took a careful sip of his beer, it was rolling right around 11pm and the party was still going strong. He had his share of drinks and was starting to feel it. His hand shook mildly as he brought it up to his lips, the savory taste of the liquid washing in his mouth and down his throat.

He wasn?t sure why he always drank at these things, he was usually always relaxed but tonight he was starting to feel tense. He crushed the can in his hand and let it drop to the floor. Sitting next to the cooler he pulled out another and ripped off the pop-top.

It?s funny, he thought, I find the taste of beer not all that good but somehow I just have no problem putting it down.

Looking down at his full beer he sighed. ?God, I?m going to get so wasted tonight.?

?My sentiment exactly,? came a voice from behind him.

Miroku didn?t need to guess. ?Hey, Inuyasha.?

?Yo.? The grinning teen sat down next to him and grabbed his full can of beer. ?Not over doing it too much I hope. You know this shit ain?t all that good for you.?

?Like I care.? He pulled out a cigarette.

And neither are those? This was a disturbing action for Inuyasha to see he knew that Miroku dabbled in some risky business but he usually was much more in control than he was now. ?Not like it?s my business or anything but why are you going so heavy on this shit tonight. Something wrong??

He didn?t say anything at first and just focused on lighting his cigarette, his concentration was blown. His head was spinning from all the beer and Inuyasha?s voice was beginning to get hazy. Fuck was the only word registering in his mind.

?You listening to me god damnit!?? Inuyasha pulled tightly on the collar of his friend?s shirt his eyes looked off centered and far away. ?Miroku? You there?? Now he was beginning to get very concerned.

The sound of Inuyasha?s voice was registering in Miroku?s mind but he couldn?t see him, at least, not clearly. His head was pounding now, the alcohol taking its effect on him.

?Shit,? spat Inuyasha. Miroku was on the verge of passing out now. ?You dumb fuck.? He let go of his friend and let his body slump back into the chair he?d been sitting in. He left him there and decided to come back and check on him later.

Still conscious Miroku rested his head in his hands just thinking of the consequences of not only going home like this but how he?d be feeling tomorrow. Sometimes he wished that he would stop and think a little. He?d felt good for a while but that was all going to hell now. ?I can?t ever make the right decision. If Sango were here I bet she?d say I was pathetic and would never speak to me again.?

Fear, shame, and sickness welled up inside his stomach as he bent over and began vomiting. He was sick, oh so sick. He was sick in the head, sick in the heart, and sick in the body. He shuddered violently as all his energy was escaping him from his violent hacks. It was an unnerving and terrible feeling, disgusting really.

?Fuck,? he moaned, ?I regret ever taking a sip of one single beer. Now look where it got me.? He continued to vomit.

The scene for everyone else was rather humorous since everyone else was mildly intoxicated they saw it as more of a joke that Miroku couldn?t hold his liquor, if you could really call beer that.

?What a joke,? cackled a boy. ?Is this really supposed to be the big man all the girls swoon over? Give me a break. What an idiot.?

?Yeah,? commented someone else. ?Pathetic really.?

The room erupted in laughter and the group began partying on. Teenagers were not just stupid but cruel.

Inuyasha pitied his friend he hadn?t expected the evening to turn out as poor as it was for his friend. He had wanted him to have a good time, not get piss drunk and embarrass himself like this. That idiot.

?Inuyasha,? came Kagome?s quiet but firm voice. ?Help him.?

?Yeah, don?t worry babe, I will.? He smiled at her gently and went over to help his friend.

Kagome watched from the side but was hardly relieved. She hated coming to these sorts of things, but she had wanted to see Inuyasha so she did but what she was seeing now began to disturb her. Miroku was getting himself into some trouble and there was a lot of tension being built up, soon it was going to be just like a train wreck, all watching no helping. They needed to do something before it was too late.

The humiliation Miroku was feeling was pretty bad but having Inuyasha help him made him feel worse. Am I that stupid and pathetic? He got up woozily and tried to get to the door, Inuyasha steadied him.

?Where you going, man??

?Home.?

?You should spend the night. You?re not well.?

?I never am.? He broke away from his friends grasp and was able to make it to the door and walk outside. The air was crisp that night and had it hit him like a flash. The feeling was refreshing.

Inuyasha didn?t make an attempt to go after him. Unlike Kagome, while he knew Miroku was headed into some rough shit he trusted that Miroku would be able to help himself and all that he himself could do for him was to just support him. After all, it was Miroku?s life and part of him felt that he had no say in how he conducted himself, no matter how destructive. ?Take care,? he said silently and went back to the party.

Outside Miroku was making progress back to his apartment. Though he wasn?t walking steadily he managed to avoid getting into any means of traffic. Even if that was so, part of him had wished a car would accidentally sideswipe him.

?Why didn?t I just stay home tonight? I could have figured that something like this would end up happening.?

He ran a hand through his disheveled mop of hair trying to sooth what pain he still felt. He could imagine that right now he must be looking terrible considering how well he usually tried to keep his appearance.

And that wasn?t the only problem. Mushin would be at home probably waiting back there for him.

Kami, Miroku?s mind cursed. Mushin, I forgot about Mushin. He?s going to kill me when he sees me like this.

At a usual standpoint Mushin was fairly flexible about what Miroku did since he too was guilty of some rather unhealthy behavior but guilt only carried so far. Miroku was going to have to pay the price sooner or later. This was about as irresponsible of him as he could get, never mind skipping classes or hitting on young female teachers. He was in for it and that was a hard truth.

The knob turned and he stepped inside, a light in the kitchen was still on and a shadowy figure was there waiting for him.

Miroku had smiled at this, taking another step in from the door he made it into the living room. Having a better look at the figure he could see Mushin?s stern face, though he chose not to say anything yet.

?Hey,? Miroku muttered. ?It was a hell of a night.? Then he closed his eyes and passed out the faint sound of a loud sigh ringing in his ears. His body hit the ground hard and that?s all he had remembered.

**End of chapter**

Okay, so that was it, I hope you guys liked the chapter. I did my best when tyring to write it. Excuse any errors, it was hard editing all of this. Thanks every one.

[TimeShifter16]

Poor Sango ! I hope she gets through this! I have faith Miroku will help her, and she'll get him off beer and cigarettes (HAHA, Miroku's the drunk and Mushin's mad at him; who saw that coming? ). I am surprised Inuyasha's at a party with beer, and even more surprised Kagome let him go! Post the next chapter!

[Perfect Soldier]

I am surprised Inuyasha's at a party with beer, and even more surprised Kagome let him go!

I had that party with beer because not only does it bring out the seriousness of Miroku's situation but the moral decline of society on youths' part. I have read articles about Japan and disturbing trends regarding smoking and drinking, kind of like here. If I wasn't misled it's out there and probably at least fairly common.

As for Inuyasha being there it was his party and he was catoring to his friends needs and chose not to partake or that's how I wrote it at least. Also the fact that I wanted to maintain his bad-boy kind of image. Kagome went simply to keep an eye on the little rascal.

Hope that helps a little, thanks a lot for reading the chapter. ^^

[luved_by_bishie_duelistch]

wow. deep stuff. really good though. i enjoyed it. can't wait until the next chappie is posted. keep writing! luv dc

[Eienvine]

Great chapter! I enjoyed this one a lot. I especially like the character Kaori- she really seems like she means well, and I hope Sango warms up to her in time. Update soon!

[Lara Winner]

So now we're getting to the good stuff. I see Sango's situation quickly spinning out of control. Teen angst is normal but too much with no where to find peace is not only unhealthy but a disater waiting to happen. I also love the background we're getting on Miroku too. Despite his words of wisdom and his smooth tongue, he's neck deep in his own problems.

Definitely an original and compelling plot. I'm eagerly waiting to see what happens next!

[Perfect Soldier]

Definitely an original and compelling plot. I'm eagerly waiting to see what happens next!

I really appreciate hearing that comment, you're among the feel people who are actually accurately understanding the situation and don't say stuff like, "Wow, this is really depressing. I hope it gets happier soon."

No, I hate hearing that. Thanks for writing something refreshing and new.

And thanks to Eienvine, dc, and TimeShifter16, as well.

A new chapter should be up soon...hopefully. God willing my computer decides to behave. *kicks it* >< Till then, thanks.