Behind Darkness Mask 9/?

[Gundam Girl]

This. Is. It. The big discovery chapter. And you guys, prepare for a volcano!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and am making no profit from this story.

*~Behind Darkness? Mask~* Chapter 9


By Gundam Girl

The sunlight on Heero?s face was warm and woke him feeling the same way. He?d never felt this good in his life, he was certain. He didn?t want to open his eyes, however, because the dream he?d been having was incredible. He could still see Relena, covered in shadows.

But then he remembered.

It hadn?t been a dream at all. His body ached just slightly in places he rarely used, and the sheets he was tangled in were too soft to be his own. Heero?s eyes snapped open.

And he saw Relena?s bedroom, white and blue in d?cor, scented with roses and sex. Heero sat up, found himself completely nude, and then jumped at the movement against his side. Turning to look, he saw Relena lying there, equally naked and sleeping soundly, a soft smile on her lips.

No. No, Heero thought, no! He hadn?t?they hadn?t?

Oh, hell below, they had! Squeezing his eyes shut, he thought back to the events of last night. Him, watching Relena with Damien?Relena going up to her room?him changing into his bloody costume and going into her room?Relena drunkedly seducing him, taking off her robe, taking off his clothes?the two of them falling madly into bed?

Crazy, he clutched his head and willed the memory to not be there. But the evidence was on the floor, her abandoned robe and his disgarded costume, the hat and cape tangled together mockingly. He felt fingers on his lower back slide up to his shoulder, and Relena pulled herself up, the sheet that had covered her falling to her waist.

?Prince?? she murmured, half-asleep. ?Are you??

?Relena,? Heero muttered. God. ?Relena?? He searched for words and couldn?t find them. What was there to possibly say?!

Relena?s eyes cleared a bit further. ?Prince,? she said again. ?What?s wrong?? She raised a hand to her temple. God, it felt as though her heart had switched places with her brain and was no pounding away inside her skull.

?Relena.? He looked at her now, into her questioning gaze. He had to, Heero knew he had to. Tell her the truth. She would despise him, perhaps more than he despised himself, though that seemed highly impossibly. Slowly, he raised a hand to her cheek and kept it there. Right now, he was already planning where he could go, but he wanted to preserve this moment. Just this one moment, and if he was never given a kind image ever again in his entire life, he would at least have this. This vision of Relena, with her hair mussed and curling near her elbows, with her face rosy, with her eyes wide and beautiful.

?I love you,? he murmured, gathering her to him, her eyes filled with surprise when he kissed her and pulled away again a few moments later.

?Prince,? Relena began. She couldn?t explain the chill that was suddenly spreading over her. She wasn?t in denial about what had happened, nor did she believe Prince had taken any unfair advantage of her. ?Why??

?I?m not Prince.?

The stoically-said words made her smile. ?Does this mean you?re going to tell me who you really are??

?Prince? hung his head and withdrew his hands from her. ?Someone who loves you.? The words stuck like knives in his throat as he slowly lifted his fingers to his eyes and took out the brown-tinted contacts before meeting her eyes again.

Relena froze, the smile still on her face. ?Someone who?? Then the smile melted away, like ice against the sun streaming into the bedroom, and she lifted a shaking hand to her mouth. ?Oh, my God?Heero.?

He wanted to run; the coward Heero had had beaten out of him for Operation Meteor appeared now and he wanted to run away from the look on her face. But he knew it was his duty as a soldier to protect, as a man even, to stay there and take it.

?Oh my God,? she said again. ?Oh my God!? The shock swept over and through Relena entirely. ?Heero? You?re Heero?you?re?? Her hand rose from her mouth to her hair and she suddenly remember she was naked. Tugging the sheet up to her neck, she reared back away from him.

That one movement cut Heero more deeply than any knife in his throat possibly could. He didn?t know what to say, so he gave her the space she obvious demanded and went to the small bag he?d left by the door the previous night and pulled out his Preventer uniform.

It was Heero. The small sentence ran through Relena over and over again. It was Heero, it was Heero, it was Heero? The headache she was suffering from intensified tenfold. The mixed-up, confused emotions inside of her swelled and merged until it rammed her hard in the chest. The one topping all at the moment was anger, and Relena?s eyes narrowed as she watched him dress, hugging the sheet all the more closer to her. Forcing her painfully tight throat open, she asked softly, ?How could you do this to me??

Heero paused as he was slipping the damned costume into the bag. He may have been dressed, but he felt as though her eyes were seeing right through him. ?I didn?t mean to hurt you,? he said, so lowly it was nearly a whisper. ?I?m in love with you.

Relena?s eyebrows narrowed; the first outward sign of temper. ?You keep saying that.? Her fingers clenched into the seat. ?But you know, it?s not true. You don?t know what love is. How can you? You were raised to destroy everything; even love. Even friendship, apparently!?

He winced at the sudden heightening in her voice. ?You didn?t want to be friends with me.?

?How could YOU know that?!? she demanded. ?You didn?t give it a chance with your fucking disguise! Jesus, Heero! You?re completely insane, I should report you for?? She gasped, the tears springing to her eyes before she could have a hope of stopping them. ?God? I feel like such a whore.?

?Relena!?

?Damn it, leave. Please leave.? Curling her legs up to her chest, Relena leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She was feeling too much, way too much. When she heard the door open and close, she trembled, rethinking that he ?loved her.? The anger, the rage, the embarrassment, the fear, the digust?

It all was jumbled with the inevitably distinguishable thought that, even when he had first come to her those long weeks ago, Relena had minutely wondered about loving Heero back.

---

A week later, it was Trowa who found him first, lying in a room in the cheapest motel in New Port, his companion more than ten twenty-six packs of equally cheap beer.

The green-eyed Gundam pilot had been able to get into the room with a simple flash of his Preventer ID at the front desk, and had to wade through a sea of discarded cans to get remotely near to the bed. The room was dark, the only light coming blue-grayish from the TV playing on low-volume. Heero was watching it, or was at least appearing to. There was a glaze over his Prussian blue eyes and a light shine of drool beneath his lower lip.

?Yuy,? Trowa said loudly and then repeated the name in case his fellow ex-pilot hadn?t heard him. ?Fuck, you look like shit. I?m surprised you?re still in town.?

Heero did know more than respond with a quiet, ?Hn.?

?Duo?s been calling your apartment all week, Hilde won?t stop crying, Quatre?s fretting, Sarah?s eating more than usual, Wufei and Sally bicker more than usual, your landlord wants your rent, and now even Catherine?s starting to get jumpy over you.? Trowa lightly snorted. ?As for me, I knew it would come to this eventually.?

?Hn.?

Picking more cans aside, Trowa sat in an uncomfortable, ugly chair. ?You?ve got no one to blame for this but you. You went after her. You followed again, Heero. You weren?t made for following.? He lifted one shoulder. ?Relena?s more or less shattered still. Her work?s failing. She can?t concentrate. Not that I blame her.? His eyes rose to the ceiling. ?She gave her virginity away to someone she didn?t know. That may have been her fault, but you lying to her wasn?t.?

In Heero?s mind, a brief spark of a retort flew, but it died nearly instantly.

?Before you say anything,? Trowa went on, ?I know I helped you out. At the time, I trusted you. God knew I didn?t expect you to take it so far as this.? Move, you piece of shit, Trowa thought. ?Now the only person I feel sorry for is Relena. You don?t deserve someone like her, you know. She?s far too good for you. I wonder if what you always thought was true. Your attitude about being totally useless past fighting and war. I?m asking the question too now, Heero. Do you have a purpose beyond the blood? Do any of us??

Trowa cricked his neck. ?I think I do. I discovered a little something after all the fighting. I like living. There?s a lot of things to do while you?re living. I discovered the advantage of women; and they certainly are a advantage.? He paused, knowing his next choice of words would need to be handled with care. Standing up, Trowa stepped through the cans again and set a hand on the doorknob. ?Maybe I?ll show Relena the advantage of men.?

It came two seconds later: the bone-crunching blow against his spine. Trowa felt his breath heave out of his lungs and he bent over, not quite doubling. Coughing, he braced a hand on the wall and looked over to see Heero up, ramrod straight and trembling.

?Got anything else to shit out, Barton?? Yuy growled.

Trowa straightened up a bit. ?That?s more like it. Now that you?re up, do you feel like taking a drive? Say, back to the palace and Relena??

Heero narrowed his eyes. ?I?m having trouble believing it?s Quatre who sent you to throw crap at me.?

?No, that?s just me this time. Quatre doesn?t work with Relena, Heero. He doesn?t see her suffer like I do.? And, Trowa added silently, he doesn?t make up most of your hours. ?She?s suffering because of you, you ass.?

?I was an ass to her, yeah.? Heero turned away. ?So what the hell sense does it make for me to go back??

?It makes a damned lot of sense. You can?t just hang this, Heero. The mess you?re in is completely extraordinary. I don?t know how the hell anyone can recover from this. Maybe you can?t.? Trowa?s eyes sharpened. ?But you should at least give it a fucking try.?

?What do you know?!? Heero bellowed. ?You haven?t ever been in love!?

?Maybe not,? Trowa said, voice deadly. ?But that doesn?t mean I didn?t wish I was.?

The silence swayed over the two men. Both were soldiers, both had seen war and faced death, all so that they could protect people. People they loved.

Trowa threw open the door. ?Make a choice, Heero. Not everyone gets one, and you?re lucky enough to. You can hide in here with your booze and your TV and your goddamned shame, but can you stay from your guilt? From your friends? They?ll find you soon, like I did. And what then? Will you have left the coast by then? Will you even still care?? He stepped over the threshold, eyes gleaming meaningfully. ?Think about it.? He shut the door behind him.

---

Relena?s hand was shaking. How odd. She usually was very good at controlling any sort of tremor while she was working on documents for work. She was always very good about work. As Vice Foreign Minister, she had to be.

Gently setting down her black ink pen, she reached for the cup of sassafras tea beside her left arm. Strangely, the tea inside the cup was shaking too, rippling over and over. Relena supposed that was because of her hand. But it was hard to know. It was hard to know anything these days.

She was fairly certain Damien would be coming to see her again here at the office before he left Sank again to make a run to the former Switzerland to check out a situation involving contaminated chocolate. She had originally been asked to do it, but as a gentleman, Damien had offered to do the work for her. She?d simply had to accept.

Five minutes later, when Relena was just slipping a document on the Desmond vs. Fairfield trial back into its proper file, her office door opened without warning, and in swept Marita, her flowery perfume instantly filling the room.

Relena had to make an effort to keep from groaning. ?Hello, Mother,? she murmured.

?You?re doing it again,? shot Marita, sitting down primly in one of the chairs in front of Relena?s desk. ?All work, no rest. Rumor is you?re doing three-a.m. most days now.?

?I could be,? she said absently, trying to properly interpret the contract in front of her concerning trade embargos with L6. ?My work ethic is at an all-time high lately.?

?Why is that, Relena? You were doing so well when Damien first got here. You know he?s leaving tonight and I must say I was quite disappointed to learn you hadn?t made any arrangement to meet with him one last time.? Marita emphasized her point with a deep scowl.

?Mother, it isn?t as though Damien and I will never see each other again. Hopefully one day it?ll be at his wedding with a beautiful redheaded woman with long legs.?

?Relena, this isn?t a joke.?

?Well, Mother, I?m in a laughing mood.?

?Then you?ve gone mad,? Marita snapped, voice hitching. ?Either you go call Damien and go out to dinner with him tonight, or I?m going to do it for you.?

Relena?s eyes shot up to look straight into Marita?s. ?Mother, I?m twenty-five. I have my own driver?s license and my own driver. I don?t need you to make arrangements for one so I can go out on one of your play-dates.?

?Play-dates!? Marita exclaimed. ?I assist you in finding a bright, suitable young man and you mock your mother? How could you??

?I wouldn?t have to,? muttered Relena, ?if you would stop ?assisting? me.?

Dropping her faked indignation, Marita made a fist, her fake red nails digging into her creasing palms. ?Now, wait just one minute.? Rising to her full height of five foot six, Marita walked directly up to her adoptive daughter?s desk. ?You, Relena Darlian, have absolutely no right to speak to me that way, after all I have ever done for you.?

?All you have ever done,? Relena replied bluntly, ?is tell me what you believe to be good for me. What escorts I should have, whom I should go to dinner with, what designer clothes to wear, etcetera! What honest use do those things have, Mother? The emptiness in all of them is idiotic! For instance, Damien and I are good friends. Best friends when it boils down to it. I love him and I enjoy being with him. But I can never be in love with him. We aren?t compatible.?

?That?s a lie,? seethed Marita, ?you?re perfectly??

?And now that we?re on the subject,? Relena rolled on, ignoring Marita?s spits of protest, ?I don?t want you to find me any escorts. Half the events I require escorts for, I don?t want to go to! I don?t want you to tell me that I should be going to dinner anymore, because at this time, I?m so busy with work that I can?t take the time, career-wise, to do so. I chose my career, Mother. I chose it! I?m not going to play pretty little heiress for you! If you want Dad?s money to get added on to, fine! YOU can get married!?

When Relena finished, Marita was completely pale in every visible piece of flesh. Her lips were pressed so tightly together it was a wonder they didn?t just snap off. Her eyes were wide enough to make her look like a shocked fish. But she didn?t say anything. She didn?t say a word.

?And now,? concluded Relena, ?I would appreciate it very much if you would please exit my working space.?

Marita moved deftly, hand to her purse, body turn, feet walking to the door. Leaving the office silent as a ghost.

And five seconds after she has disappeared, Darien strolled in, looking mildly confused. ?Relena,? he said gently, coming over to her. ?I saw your mother in the hallway. She didn?t say anything to me. Is everything??

She surprised him greatly by hurling herself against him and bursting into tears.

---

Duo Maxwell didn?t pace. Pacing was cat-like, and as far as he was considered, cats were for girls. But damn it, when his best friend was missing and he had looked all over the better part of the world for him without a trace of hope, he was going to pace.

Hilde was watching him from the couch. ?Duo, do you want me to fix you a drink?? Sleeping tablets could do him wonders, she mused, concerned for her husband?s health.

Duo shook his head, braid swinging. ?No, Hil. I need to go out again.? Resolutely, he went for the door. ?He could have hurt himself, ya know. He?s not above it, Mr. Die-For-The-Forsaken-Mission. Pray for me, will ya, that he?s not dead??

When he pulled open his front door and came face to face with the man in question, he frowned more darkly than he had in five years. ?Jesus fucking God, Yuy, what the damned hell??

Heero didn?t wait for an invitation and stepped inside. ?I?m letting you know,? he said bluntly as Duo kicked the door shut, ?that I?m leaving.?

?Leaving?? Hilde rose from the couch and met him in the apartment?s tiny kitchen. ?Leaving for where, Heero??

?The Colonies.?

?Well, no kidding.? Duo scratched his head. ?You would choose the hardest place for us to find you in. Again. If you go back to Spain, send me a postcard.?

The sarcasm in Duo?s voice put Heero more on edge. ?I don?t know what else to do,? he told Duo with all the honesty he had. ?And since this is all I have, I?m sticking with it.? He held up a duffel back and tossed it to Hilde, who caught it with both hands. ?Give that back to Sarah for me.? He turned.

?Hold on, hold on, hold on.? Duo stopped Heero by setting a hand on the Japanese man?s shoulder. ?This is way too fast for me to keep up with. You?re leaving. I get that. When??

?Whenever I want. It?s bound for any Colony within the week.? Heero started past him but Duo stood firm.

?Then,? the former God of Death suggested, ?stay with me and Hilde. For one night, so you can put things in perspective one last time. Then say goodbye to the others. You?ll hurt Quat?s feelings if you don?t, Wufei will be dishonored, and Trowa?uh??

?I don?t have anything to say to Trowa.?

?Good news is, you don?t have to. We?re meeting to play basketball tomorrow. If you play on my team, you can guard Trowa. Elbows,? Duo said conspiratorially, ?are good weapons.?

Heero had the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. ?You can?t stand there and pretend you don?t know why I?m doing this.?

Duo went grim. ?I know it. We all know it. But I want you to be sure, absolutely sure, that there?s nothing else you can do. So stay, Heero. Think about it some more.?

Heero watched Duo?s eyes, the striking violet of them that usually held laughter, and now only held worry. And he realized that, whether he liked it or not, Maxwell was right.

?Fine,? he said tersely. ?After one game, I?m going.?

?Good!? exclaimed Duo. ?Then you can bruise of Trowa for the first time in playing history.?

Hilde smile and hugged Heero. ?I?ll set you up on the couch. And I?ll fix both of you a drink.?

--------------------------------------------

Review please!

[APerfectSoldier87]

Ok i had this huge funny thing written out, but then i wasnt logged in so it made me log in, but my reply that i typed was lost so now I only have this.

It was cool.

[Gundam Girl]

Hehe, that's good too. I'm hoping it's cool.

[TimeShifter16]

As always with your stories, great job. I'd go on, but I'd just take up space. And since there's so much space in the world, my words will just get lost in it all anyways. (God, that sounds too depressing; let's try again) AWESOME STORY! AMAZING! FIVE STARS! I'M GONNA STOP SUCKING UP NOW! BYE!

[Gundam Girl]

TimeShifter, whoever minds being sucked up to? :p Glad you like it.

[Eienvine]

Ooh, brilliant chapter! Seriously, brilliant. Well done. And although profanity is not a nice thing, I have to say that Duo's line when he opens the door and sees Heero had me laughing hysterically. Great chapter.

[Gundam Girl]

I guess profanity isn't exactly a GOOD thing...though I know some who would disagree with that, lol. Glad you liked.