Fallen Souls 21/25

[paxbanana]

Fallen Souls

By: Cassandra



Chapter 21





Kagome alighted on a tree branch, reappearing to the world, and as she became solid she suddenly felt the pain and the heaviness of her wound. With a grimace of agony she fell forward, nearly falling from the tree branch. She caught herself on the trunk, hunching over the wound and she slowly slid down to plop down on her rear, exhaling raspily.

?What happened back there?? she demanded, wincing as she settled wearily.

I don?t understand the question?

?You don?t understand the question?? she growled, face darkening. She made a small hissing sound as she pulled back her soiled hand to stare at it, bending in her fingers weakly. ?Don?t play games. What happened? It was him, I felt him, I tasted him! And then it was Kouga.?

The voice in her head was silent for a moment but she felt his amusement. Yes, indeed, how so very amusing it must have been for him. She leaned sideways into the trunk, resting her head against the bark and breathing deeply, her hand falling limply into her lap.

You knew it was the wolf. You made yourself believe it was your beloved hanyou. I had no part of that, my love. It was all you?and your petty weakness?

Kagome?s eyes closed as he spoke, as his voice hovered around her. And she lifted her face to the sunset, feeling the last waves of the warmth that had accompanied the day. It always became so cold at night. She felt the iciness so deep inside as if she herself were made of night. Blue-black, cold and silent.

Petty weakness?

?Am I not allowed that?? she asked quietly, cradling her stained hand in her lap and feeling her fluid as her fingers slid across each other. Was she not allowed anything, even after everything that had transpired? Behind her closed eyelids were nothing but blackness and pulsing waves of a darker blackness. The pulsing was in time with her heartbeat and she breathed into herself, listening to her heart pound. She had been under the impression her heart had given up beating. She knew deep inside that her heart had stopped caring.

I cannot continue to protect you if you allow yourself to fall to your every desire. Is it more important to have a moment, a second, of the hanyou?s embrace, or does it matter more to have a lifetime of vengeance?

Her eyes came open as the sun finally set behind the mountains far off and her vision blurred at the mere beauty of it. She remembered days and nights, mornings when the sun rose and she had sat by his side to witness it. And evenings when the sun had fallen low and he had been beside her still. She remembered leaning against him, falling asleep on his shoulder, even remembered him spluttering at their closeness. And she had smiled in her sleep at the tongue-tied excuses he had flung at her. He had been so beautiful, then. She exhaled mournfully, resting against the hard trunk and allowing herself to believe it was him still.

?I want the one moment??

And she allowed herself to believe that when she awoke he would be at her side still, watching the sunrise with her and wrapping his arm around her as she slept into the morning.









It rained gently. Soft drops pattered the soft grass, slid down the green blades as the wind played across the ground. And all around him he felt her presence, in his arms, in his heart. As if she called to him, no matter how far away she was from him then. He lifted his gaze to the cloudy night sky, feeling the drops of rainwater trail down his face, drip onto his neck and under his clothes. There were moments like these when he couldn?t breathe, when every inhalation burned inside him. This was one of the moments and it hurt him to understand, for all the other moments had been when he had caught her scent on a gentle breeze. Her scent was nowhere near him now, and he felt alone, gazing up at the empty sky and knowing that inside?he was just as empty.

Behind him came the soft voices of his friends and he looked toward them reluctantly, knowing what he would see. And yes, it was so. His amber gaze came to rest on them, stared at them. The exterminator had been hurt in the encounter in the cave, bruised. And he watched her as she leaned against the monk, as he embraced her to him. As they supported each other. And he didn?t want to see it.

He didn?t want to feel alone, even surrounded.

Turning back to face the cloudy sky once more he bent his head and lifted his clawed hand. If he allowed his mind to wander he could almost see the blood still. He could almost believe that it still stained his flesh, had dried on his claws. And if he closed his eyes from the sight of his hand he could almost taste it on his tongue still. He could taste her as surely as if he embraced her that very moment, as if he ran his tongue over her soft skin. He lifted his face, his eyes closed, and the breeze tasted like her as well.

He chuckled inwardly, not feeling a hint of humor. How painful, to feel cursed, to be punished always through the simplest means. If he always smelled her on the breeze, if he always tasted her on his tongue, would he still be able to breathe the air? Would he be able to enjoy the taste of meat, fruits? If she was never to be at his side again, could he go on knowing that he would be eternally punished to sense her, taste her, in everything everywhere?

Could he go on?

Another scent assaulted him then and he had a moment to collect himself before he opened his eyes. And they narrowed, his head bowing, as the figure came to stand beside him.

?I don?t want you here,? he whispered faintly, his amber eyes flashing as he struggled to control the anger that threatened to break over him. He lifted a hand to Tetsusaiga at his side, but he merely gripped the hilt, his gaze absentminded and distant.

?I didn?t know anything,? Kouga said quietly, his frame stiff.

I don?t want to hear this. I don?t want to hear this?

?When she came she was just as miserable as when she had left with you the first time,? the wolf said, his arms crossed over his chest. ?And I promised myself that I would kill you if it came down to it. Because you don?t deserve her. You never did-?

?Neither did you,? Inuyasha growled quietly. ?You are always in the way, always somehow a step ahead and a level above me. No matter how much I loved her, it always seemed as if she didn?t understand. As if she didn?t see?? And he broke off, his lips parting.

As if she didn?t see?

?See me??

?She always saw you,? Kouga murmured, his head bowing. ?With everything I ever did to make her see me, she always saw you. She was kind to me, tolerated me, but she didn?t care for me the way she cared for you. And I hate you for it, Inuyasha.?

Inuyasha turned his head to look at him, eyes widening under his frown as the wolf shook with what could have been anger or pain.

?I hate you for it,? Kouga whispered again, his gaze averted. ?I hate that she can see only you, that she would be with me but call for you instead. And I hate that you would choose someone else above her.?

Inuyasha grimaced at the sound of his voice, at the accusation.

?But what I hate most?? Kouga said in the faintest voice, ?is that the moment you feared she wished to stop seeing you, you claimed her for your own.? And he only then lifted his head to glare at the hanyou, anger forming there on his young face. ?But?she never did stop seeing you, did she? She never stopped wanting you, even through all this. Even now, through all this darkness?? he shook his head as if he couldn?t understand and he merely stared at the hanyou, studying his face, his every angle and feature. ?Some things won?t ever change. Even now, you?re still all she sees??

And with that he turned his head and walked away silently, padding softly into the night.

Inuyasha didn?t turn his head to follow him, instead turning to face forward once more, the rain falling on him still. And he allowed himself to taste her on his tongue still, to smell her even though she was so far away.







Wake up?

She didn?t want to wake up. Passed the darkness surrounding her, passed the comfortable blackness of it all, she knew there was only pain to awaken to. And she didn?t want the pain anymore. She didn?t want the feeling of aloneness, not anymore. It was such a heavy burden to carry, such a painful burden to bear. She didn?t want it anymore?

Wake up?

Her eyes came open and she floated in darkness. She had been mistaken. The darkness wasn?t inside her. It was outside of her. She looked about with hooded, heavy eyes, making a small sound of weary confusion as she focused on darkness and then more darkness. Her hands floated at her sides, lifting up and falling, waving as if she lay upon the surface of peaceful water. She felt light in this space, calm. Serene. She hadn?t felt this way in so long. And it wasn?t because of any inner peace she had inside herself.

It came from her.

You know who I am?

She nodded at nothingness, her eyes closing momentarily. She felt as if she had only now woken up from a long sleep and the sleep continued to reach for her with long, slender tendrils for fingers. She forced her eyes open, sighing, and she parted her lips to murmur.

Do not say my name. He suspects and you will awaken him. Sit with me for a moment. Speak to me and let all your fears go?

Kagome exhaled, her head rolling to the side, and she whispered, ?I have no fears. I am not allowed to have fears. Fear will ruin me?? The darkness was so thick, surrounding her, sustaining her. Like a fluffy mattress under her sore and weary form.

We all fear. Without emotion we are not alive. Without fear we will not struggle. And without courage we will not overcome?

Overcome. There was nothing to overcome. She was at peace, finally. After so long, she was at peace. She didn?t want to be dragged back to the pain and the sorrow. She wanted to be left here, away from it all. Left to herself.

But he is not here with you. And isn?t that what you want in the end? Isn?t he the one you always fought for? The one you wished to help? Is he?not worth the effort?

?He?? Kagome whispered faintly, swallowing a thick ball in her throat. ?He is the one who hurt me. He betrayed me. He never loved me the way I loved him-?

Oh, Kagome? you still don?t understand. And you won?t understand if you stay here. You will wither away here?

Would she really? She frowned faintly, squinting into the darkness, and there in the blackness surrounding her, were faint shadows. She inhaled, forcing herself to awaken and as she did so she found her figure slowly straightening, floating upward in the blackness.

You need to overcome. I cannot protect you against all of it. I am failing my battles as well and soon I will cease to exist. When that happens you will be alone and your power is great. Use it wisely. Use it because it is your decision. No one else?s.

A faint blue light sparked around her in the darkness then, forking streaks of power shooting up her stiff form, stinging her skin. She grimaced, turning her face away. And then she felt the presence, the powerful black presence and around her the world came into being once more. The moon was hidden behind the black shadows of waving trees and she was caught between worlds, between warmth and wintry night.

Do not allow him to sway you! You are in control of yourself, fight for it! Fight for yourself! Fight for Inuyasha-

Her eyes came open fully at the mention of the name and she found herself lying on cold grass, shivering.

Shiki! The four seasons?the four faces?

The woman?s voice was growing faint and she realized she had missed a good chunk of her sentence. She shook her head in confusion, straining to hear the feminine voice but she grew fainter, blowing away.

The four?the Shikon no Tama?jewel of four souls?shiki?shiki?

And then came the rush, the furious rush of blackness and Kagome felt his anger before he even spoke to her. She automatically cringed away from the mental voice, her hands lifting to her ears.

Who is it that you speak to? How dare you plot behind my back when all I do is care for you, watch out for you and comfort you!

Kagome winced at the force of his anger. He literally made her shake from the strength of his rage, her ears ringing as he shouted at her, berated her.

?I wasn?t speaking to anyone. I wasn?t-?

You?re lying! Do you think I can?t sense the other one? You hold her close to you, hiding her from me but I sense her! I see her through you! And you try my patience!

Kagome shook her head, gritting her teeth, and it was useless to cover her ears when his voice sounded in her mind. He was everywhere inside her, the darkness inside, and to physically protect herself from him was futile. Stupid.

You have no idea what I do for you, what I-

?Shiki?? she whispered. And as the voice froze instantly inside her, breaking off, she said it again, trembling. ?Shiki??

He remained silent inside her, but she sensed his surprise, hovering inside. If he had had a body, a form to look upon she knew he would have been stiff, his mouth open against a sentence that wouldn?t come out. Her eyes came open slowly to gaze at the dark forest she lay in, hesitating. Afraid to say anything more.

How did you know-

?That?s your name,? Kagome uttered faintly, her fingers cramping at the sides of her face. ?That?s your name??

The voice inside withdrew, she felt it, and she reached out blindly for him, into the darkness that he lived inside. ?Shiki! The four seasons! A season for each face! That?s your name-?

Did she tell you that? Did she tell you that?

?She knows you by name, knows you by face. She knows you-? Kagome cried into the silent night.

She knows nothing! She?s a simple priestess! She?s as bad as Kikyo!

Kagome froze.

Yes, remember Kikyo? Remember everything she did to you? This woman is just as bad, and just as determined. She will turn you from me, she will make you return to the hanyou, and she will make you his victim once more! And she will try to convince you with just enough truth that you will believe her.

Kagome slowly pulled her hands from her ears, her form shaking still. Just enough truth. ?So, your name is Shiki, then?? she asked fearfully.

The voice was hesitant in her ear, thoughtful.

Perhaps once, yes. So many years ago, my name was that. But I left that behind just as you slowly leave your own name behind. Who are you now? Are you still Kagome? Or have you finally relieved yourself of that name and all the vestiges contained therein?

She paused at his question.

Was she really Kagome anymore? Was she really?anyone anymore? Did she deserve to have a name?

Eventually, your name will be one of greatness. You will be addressed as the Goddess that you are. How simple is a title such as Priestess when you can be so much more? You can be the Bringer, the Messiah. That and more. And you will have hundred, thousands, bowing before you, murmuring your name in fear and reverence. Your name will be on their lips when they are afraid, when they are in need. And in the end, isn?t that what you wanted? To be needed?

She swallowed, slowly rising onto her rear.

No. In the end, all she had wanted was to be seen.

Come, my Goddess. There is much left to be done and so little time to do it.

Kagome?s gaze saddened and wordlessly, she rose to her feet. The haori fluttered open around her frame and she looked down to her torso so see nothing but nude flesh. Healed nude flesh. With a cold hand she ran her fingers over her smooth skin.

?Have I been unconscious long?? she questioned quietly.

A little over a week. I?ve cared for you, though, healed your wounds. How easy it is to mend flesh.

Kagome nodded to herself and slowly let her hand drop away, looking about at her surroundings.

You have very few shards left to collect. Shall we begin again?

Retying the haori she nodded once more. ?Yes. We will begin again. But I wish to make a stop before continuing.?

A stop?

A stop. She needed to make a stop for herself. To see if she could save herself. And she could only think of one person who would be strong enough to help her, even though she knew he wouldn?t wish to.

Wordlessly, she turned and stalked off.







The girl paused by the pond, stooping to drink from it. She was adorable, so pretty and sweet. Kagome stared at her, tilting her head silently in the darkness as the girl rose once more and skipped along cheerfully. Was her master here with her? He was strong enough, stronger than the hanyou. Would he be able to help her?

Why do you need help?

Jaw clenching, she closed her eyes to focus, to block away the voice. There was too much noise around her, not allowing her to think. She had told herself the entire way here that she needed his help, that he would be able to help her. And he would, one way or another. Either he would help her break free or she would devour him and have him fuel her power. One road split in two and she could only walk the one path. She couldn?t control the jewel, not yet. She needed to become stronger. She needed more power. Which meant she needed to draw the girl?s master out.

Would killing the girl really draw him out?

The girl crouched once more, not far off, and she pulled a small flower free, beaming. ?Ah?? she gasped shrilly and Kagome gazed at her in surprise. How the smallest things affected children.

When had she lost the ability to be affected by anything?

If you?re going to do it, then do it already. One thing I hate more than half demons with silver hair?are children.

Indeed.

Silently, Kagome fell from the tree branch, landing in a crouch without so much as the whisper of a sound. Moving faster that she had ever been able to she dove forward, feeling the wind in her hair, the haori as it fluttered around her nimble frame. Even if the girl could have seen invisible creatures she wouldn?t have been able to move fast enough to protect herself. She smiled faintly to herself, already stretching out her fingers and feeling the girl?s blood on her hands. She reveled in it already.

The girl paused and suddenly lifted her head to the side as she caught sight of something and her expression brightened. ?Sesshoumaru-sama!? she squeaked. And the happiness on her face vanished as she merely stared in growing confusion.

Kagome turned her head as well to see where she looked and a moment later she realized she shouldn?t have as a tall, hard wall appeared before the girl. She rammed headlong into it and was flung backward from the impact, stumbling. A moment later a windingly long green flash of light cracked against her skin and she cried out as pain welled up inside her. She fell to the ground, wincing, and the pain sharpened, stinging her.

P?pain?

The glowing green whip cracked again, striking the bare skin of her legs and, angrily, she recoiled, automatically lifting her hands to block her face from the same abuse.

?Sesshoumaru-sama!? the girl cried once more, all happiness removed from her face and as Kagome looked up through slit eyes she saw the girl hide behind the figure of a tall man with flowing silver hair. The girl stared down at her fearfully, clutching at the man and she returned a glare, jaw clenching as the whip cracked once more, dangerously close to her face.

The man stood silently, his green whip flowing lazily from his clawed fingers like a cat?s tail before it pounced. His amber eyes locked on her blankly, haughtily, and she rose slowly before him, aching from the punishment her figure had taken.

?Sesshoumaru?? she whispered.

The man?s eyes narrowed. ?Do not use my name so comfortably,? he said in a regal tone, yet dark and sinister. ?You and I are not friends.?

Kagome backed away a step and looked down at her lashed legs. The haori had protected her upper body but all her bared skin had been slashed. She grimaced as her blood ran dark and thick.

?Sesshoumaru-sama?? the girl whispered from behind the demon.

He ignored the girl, merely staring at Kagome. ?You are the human,? he said quietly, looking down upon her with a cold look. He seemed perfectly at ease to be standing before her, comfortable having a young mortal girl clutching at him fearfully. He tilted his head at her slowly. ?The mortal Inuyasha? treasures.?

Kagome glared at him, ignoring the stinging pain of her gashes. ?Don?t make me laugh,? she said shortly.

The youkai lord studied her for a long moment, looking into her eyes, and under his scrutiny she felt the same fear, the same inferiority, that she felt having the youkai in her head. She tried to maintain her stare but the mere gaze that she struggled to meet froze her in place.

He was powerful, she understood then. Only then.

With a degree of impatience he turned away from her, leaving the child still where she stood, still frozen in fear. ?Rin,? he said after a moment in a curt tone, ?come.?

With a small squeak the girl whirled and ran to keep up with him.

?I need your help,? Kagome called to him quickly, taking a step to follow after him.

He didn?t even slow his step. ?With that jewel of power around your neck, you need no one?s help.? And he hesitated for the smallest instant. ?Nor will anyone help you.?

Kagome paused uncertainly, searching her thoughts for something to say to stop him from leaving. The girl glanced backward, stumbling after the silver-haired demon and Kagome cried out thoughtlessly, ?We can join forces, you and I, Sesshoumaru! You can have my jewel at your command-?

?I have no need of that jewel,? he cut her off, stopping and turning to look at her over his shoulder. ?And the jewel has no need of me. Everything you promise me I can have on my own-?

?People bowing before you? All the lands, all the nations, bowing to you! Power at your fingertips! Your vengeance against your brother!?

He stared at her with a small frown, silent for a moment. ?And that?s what this is all about, is it not? Vengeance against my miserable half brother. But not my vengeance.? And he smiled faintly, so very faintly. ?Yours.?

Kagome stared at him, silent.

?I?ve been proposed this many times,? he said to her stonily. ?You offer me nothing I don?t already have. And your offer pales in comparison to everything else.? He shrugged indifferently, eyes hooded. ?If you want your vengeance, have it by your own hand.?

And he turned once more to saunter off.

?You won?t help me then?? Kagome asked, and she already felt the power of the Shikon no Tama rising inside of her. Her vision dimmed, her pupils breaking free and swirling open to envelop her eyes entirely.

Sesshoumaru continued on and behind him Rin cast one last look at Kagome. Her face paled, her glance turning into a stare and she whirled toward her master frantically. ?Sesshoumaru-sama!?

From Kagome?s hands formed long whips of black energy, surging to life, swirling and slapping the ground roughly before she swung them both.

Rin shrieked fearfully, immediately backing away a step and hiding her face in her hands.

But moving faster than she had ever seen Inuyasha move, Sesshoumaru appeared at the girl?s side, taking one lash of her whip across his face, his own whip deflecting the second attack. His face was forced to the side from her first whip strike and as he turned to meet her gaze once more the gash swelled up and bled forth a tiny drop of blood. Beside him Rin buried herself against his waist, clutching him, eyes shining with brightly unshed tears.

Kagome smiled darkly at Sesshoumaru, snapping both whips against the ground. ?I failed to mention it, didn?t I? Anything you use against me, any attack, I can use myself. I can use them without feeling the sting of your attack but the creativity amuses me. What else do you have up your sleeve? Other than a missing arm??

Rin looked up toward Sesshoumaru in panic.

The youkai straightened, slashing his own whip across the ground wordlessly.

Kagome tilted her head at him, coming closer. ?Is that all you have then? One whip?? Her eyes dropped to his swords, gaze hesitating on the Tenseiga with a small gleam. ?I can give you the Tetsusaiga.?

Sesshoumaru did not seem interested. ?As much as the offer?amuses me, I won?t work under, nor with, a human. You?ve chosen the wrong brother to ask for help.?

?I want him destroyed!? she shouted at him furiously, snapping the whips ate him once more, pulling her attacks. Rin scrunched closer to the demon and Kagome?s anger flared, the Shikon no Tama glittering. ?I want there to be nothing more than the shell of the hanyou! I want-?

?You want him,? he cut her off, coming close to barking. His eyes narrowed, anger only then forming on his face. ?Your excuses are meaningless. And you waste my time.? His voice dropped low. ?I don?t like having my time wasted.?

Kagome?s face blackened. ?Then let us not waste any more of it.? And she dove forward, snapping the whips and swinging.




To be continued...



SORRY! My stupid computer hasn't let me online, but I just got a new one!! That's why I haven't posted this chapter until now.


[/i]

[ice princess]

HOLY COW, this story is great!! I love dark fics, and this is the best one I've stumbled upon in a good long while. For some reason, I would highly enjoy Kagome kicking Sesshy's ass (which is odd because I love Sess/Kag fics, and I don't particularly want Kagome to stay crazy in this story). This is just great, please keep it up!!

~ice princess

[luved_by_bishie_duelistch]

wow. it was kinda freaky, but really cool. i love it so far. think it's kinda cool the way Kagome overpowers fluffy-chan. *laughs* luv dc

[Kaili Charmer]

WHOA...!! Going after Sesshoumaru now, eh? Pretty cool...or pretty desperate. And whoa again...Kouga talked to Inuyasha! This story rocks, chica, we need more of this action packed stuff, you cliffhanger punk! :razz:

[paxbanana]

Oh, dear. I made a boo-boo. Hm.. How to explain this...

K, I got this story off of an Inuyasha fanfic website on the old computer. Now that I have a new one, I couldn't ever find that same website again, so I thought, 'just take it off ff.net.'

Somehow, the chapters weren't posted the same on ff.net as with the other website, so I posted THE WRONG CHAPTER!! Oh, geez. So sorry about that everyone.

I'll just have to go to Cassandra's own website to try to get this straightened out. Geez...

Sorry for any confusion resulting from this.

[ice princess]

I just had to say it again, I LOVE THIS FIC!!! Especially since it makes more sense now with the other chapters...lots more sense and so much more TEMPESTUOUS CHAOS!!!! I LOOOOOOVVVEEE it!!!!!!! Woo-hoo chaos!

PLEASE MORE, or I'll be forced to turn Black-Miko Biznatch on your fanfic writing arse!!! Or not....hehe....you can take a joke, right? Wouldn't hurt a girl with glasses? Or contacts?

CASSANDRA ROCKS!

~Ice Princess

[*romaticallysurrendered*]

omfg!!!!!where is the rest of it!!! :evil: :evil: :evil:


are u friggin kidding me i got to this chapter and now there is no more!!!! :x


can u at least tell me where i can find the rest of it!!!

okay so there may be hope left....

just gotta be cool and wait for an answer...thats it be cool

ok...ok


~alora~