Obligations [1/?]

[Waking Dreamer]

Hi! I am so sorry this chapter is very, very late! The only excuses I have are: school and hastily sewing costumes for Katsucon. So, now on my break, I was able to revise the chapter, per my beta reader?s comments. =)

So, here is the next chapter, where I leave an infamous, but very predictable cliffhanger. I don?t know when the next chapter will be out? but I promise to finish this story by this year? =D

Thanks to the beta for editing?and special thanks to Kay for her suggestions of Japanese male names!




Chapter 1?Seven Years Past





?What are you doing out here so late at night, Hitomi??

The girl turned around, giving a small smile to the soft, probing voice. ?How did you know I was here??

?Mother?s intuition,? the older women winked. ?Well.. I also heard the front door shut,? the mother sheepishly admitted.

Chuckling at her mom?s confession, the young woman answered the question. ?I couldn?t sleep, Mom. I thought if I ran around the track, it would help me.?

?I see,? Hitomi?s mother walked over to the bleachers and motioned for her daughter to join. ?Come sit with me, Hitomi.?

The daughter obeyed her mother. A light zephyr sprayed a refreshing relief against Hitomi?s flushed cheeks, while the older woman breathed in the cool, crisp air. The two sat in companionable silence, gazing at the twinkling stars, the soft glow from the lights of the track, and the silver beams of the moon.

Hitomi?s mother gave a little sigh of appreciation. ?It?s beautiful tonight, isn?t it??

The younger companion nodded her agreement, knowing exactly what her mom was trying to do. Giving an inward smile at the concern, Hitomi decided to plunge. She needed to tell someone how she felt before she would burst into tiny pieces that littered all over the place, much like stars in the sky. ?Do you ever feel that your whole world has fallen apart, and you don?t know where to begin to fix it??

Turning towards her daughter, the mother bestowed a knowing smile. ?Plenty of times,? she plainly and honestly replied.

Encouraged by her mom?s honesty, the girl continued. ?I?m about to graduate from university, and I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I can?t imagine, being stuck behind a desk all day in a tiny cubicle. And then, I can?t list any other possible jobs for me. I don?t know what I want to do with my life.

?And,? the girl took a deep breath and ploughed her way into the next subject on her mind, ?will I ever find someone to share my life with? I?ve tried, and I?ve found no one. Or I find someone, and I realize I don?t love him?not in the way I want to, to be married to him. Oh?my life is just a mess!? The girl buried her face in the palms of her hands.

Hitomi?s mother reached her hand down to pat the girl?s head, stroking her hair while whispering words of comfort, encouraging her daughter to cry for as long and as hard as she wanted. ?Just let it all out, sweetie.?

Eventually the salty drops ceased, and the once crying girl rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand to rid any last remaining tears and to threaten any new ones from forming.

?I won?t lie to you,? the mother spoke gently. ?We?ve all been through this, never knowing for certain about anything or anyone anymore. We feel so lost in this huge world that can seem so small at the same time. And you try to have faith that everything will work out in the end, but there are times when you start to think instead that everything is falling apart. While your world is crumbling, you then realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix it. You think you have the solution, but you don?t. Or you?re so confused and jumbled up inside, you don?t even know where to begin or how.

?But you have to push all those thoughts aside and go back to the one thing that you?ve always done: believing in yourself. Although you tried to believe in the beginning and it didn?t seem to work, you have to return back to the one thing that?s always kept you going. Tell yourself?I want to believe. I will believe. And everything will fall back into its place, much like the stars in the sky.? With that, the older woman gave her daughter an encouraging smile before pointing to the sky.

?Do you see that?? the mother asked excitedly.

Sprinkles of light glittered the indigo night, as a shooting star zipped through the clear sky.

?Quick, Hitomi! Close your eyes, and make a wish!?

The girl obeyed her mother?s advice. Squeezing her eyes shut, so much that the last remnants of tears squeezed from the corners, the girl bequeathed her utmost desire upon the magical star.

Hitomi, after giving her wish, opened her eyes and looked at her mother. Suddenly, the girl got up from her spot on the bleachers and threw her arms around her mother?s neck, embracing her mom in the biggest bear hug the petite girl possessed. Startled at first, the mother returned the hug with equal warmth and love. The mother heard a small voice and strained to hear the words ?Thank you,? muffled from the tight embrace.

Tilting her head slightly upwards, Hitomi?s mother gave the moon another smile, this time, one of genuine hope. Please, look after my daughter and give her everything her heart desires, the woman silently beseeched the heavenly sky. Releasing her daughter, the mother took her daughter?s hand and said, ?Come on, Hitomi, let?s go home.?

As the two women left the track, a long star winked at the departing figures.


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Back in her room, the last of the night was departing. The stars were gone, and the moon was living its last moments. From an indigo, midnight sky, the atmosphere slowly turned into streaks of hues of blues, from navy to periwinkle.

Sitting at her desk, gazing at the changing sky, Hitomi, though comforted by her mother?s words, still felt uneasy. She needed to figure out all the jumbles that weighed heavily on her mind, stressing her out at every second as well as causing her insomnia at nights.



***flashback***



?What are you thinking about??

Hitomi gave an inward smile as she felt the arms of her boyfriend wrap around her, his hands coming to clasp her elbows. His mouth, leaving her ear after delivering that line, inched its way downwards, his lips coming into contact with her cheek, as he laid a kiss on the smooth skin.

?Oh, nothing, Hiroshi,? she answered, tilting her head upwards and to the side to give her boyfriend an appreciative look.

In fact, Hitomi, before the surprise envelop, had been daydreaming. The sky was absolutely beautiful that afternoon. A few fluffy clouds, reminiscent of cotton candy, fitted the lucid sheet of rich hues of blue, interspersed with tinges of gray.

Of course, she was hoping her eyes would be able to discern two familiar orbs: one resembling the moon, the other, resembling the earth.

It wasn?t like she thought of him everyday, every single waking moment of her life. True, she had when she first came back from Gaea, but as the days passed into weeks and months, she found herself, seven years later, not really thinking about him at all. She still cared for him, but she only dreamt about him, as often as one would visit the dentist or a doctor for checkups.

For some reason, she found herself, about to graduate from University this spring, thinking about him, nonstop. Even though she had plenty of friends, a somewhat promising career after school, and a great boyfriend, she couldn?t shake that image of a teenage boy: his licorice tendrils lazily covering his foreheads and sometimes his eyes, the eyes themselves always inflamed with devoted passion, his gaze revealing all of his deeply felt emotions, and those strong hands enlacing her own or fingering her cheek, as if it were petals of a delicate orchid?

Slipping back into her comatose musings, she was unaware that her usually patient boyfriend was calling her name, until she felt his hands, clutching her shoulders and shaking her a tad roughly.

?Hitomi! Are you listening to me??? Hiroshi exclaimed, with a look of exasperation and in an upset tone.

?Hiroshi! I?m sorry! I guess I just spaced out again,? the girl feebly apologized.

Her boyfriend didn?t buy the apology. Instead, he let go of her shoulders and heaved a great sigh. Looking up at the same sky, Hiroshi spoke so softly that Hitomi had to inch up against him to hear his mumblings. ?You were thinking about him again? weren?t you??

Backing away from him, Hitomi looked towards the side, ashamed to admit that he was right.

Hiroshi didn?t need any confirmation. The silence after the question was more than enough to give him proof that his guess was correct.

Sighing again, Hiroshi walked over to Hitomi and pulled her into his arms. Holding her against him, Hiroshi stroked her back in soothing rubs. In response, Hitomi loosely clung her arms around his waist, looking wistfully at the ground.

For a few minutes, they stood in this position, until Hiroshi held Hitomi away at his arm?s length.

?Hitomi,? he began, ?you?ve been such an important part of my life. You always know how to make me feel at ease. There?s this calming influence you have that radiates as brightly as the faith you have in yourself and others.

?I?m glad we?ve been together this past year,? his voice trailed off, as he looked right at Hitomi.

A slight breeze ruffled through Hitomi?s hair, as her bangs fluttered in front of her eyes.

With his left hand, Hiroshi placed a stray tendril between his fingers and tucked the piece behind her ear. He lingered his fingers at the end of her ear, before tracing a path towards her chin. ?But, I can?t be with you anymore.?

?Wha?? Hitomi protested, but her lips, as it shaped into the next sound, was blocked by the pad of Hiroshi?s finger.

?I know you?re going to say that you care about me and that you love me, which I no doubt believe you do. I love you too. I love you more than you probably know. I love you more than you love me. And I don?t want that. I want all of you?all of you. Your heart, your soul. There is something in you that I can?t touch?a part of you has already been given to someone else. And until that person reclaims that spot or you give it up, then that area you?ve sealed for that person can never be mine.

?There?s this deeper connection, one I don?t understand or can begin to fathom, that I also can?t touch. And as much as you will try to deny it, I know that bond is with that guy, the one you dream about so much.? Here, Hiroshi felt a small hand moving his finger away from her mouth.

Clutching his hand in her own, Hitomi said, ?I?m so sorry, Hiroshi.. I never meant to hurt you..? she felt hot tears spilling down her cheeks.

?What are you apologizing for?? as Hiroshi took out a handkerchief and wiped away the salty drops from the cheeks. ?You can?t apologize for the way you feel.?

Looking up at her now ex-boyfriend, Hitomi threw her arms around his neck, giving him a hug for his gentle understanding. ?Thank you,? she whispered in his ear.

?I hope you find him, Hitomi. Wherever he is, I know you two were meant to be together. The cosmos say so.? Giving the small girl one last hug, the man cast one last look towards her as he walked away from the now dusky evening.

?Good-bye, Hiroshi,? the young woman told the encroaching darkness.



**end flashback**



Stirring slowly, the girl felt lines indented in her delicate face. ?Ugh,? she groaned. She must had fallen asleep at her desk, and the lines from the wood were now ingrained into her cheeks and forehead.

The sun was illuminating the room with its very bright rays as the half-asleep girl squinted at the overflowing light. Instead of getting up and at least attempting to get ready, the young woman took to her favorite pastime?she looked out of her window, gazing at none other than the sky.

The sky, this time, was much different than that day. Clouds were billowing together, and a slate gray color was spreading across the sky. Before she knew it, the sun disappeared and was replaced by tiny droplets, pitter-pattering on her window sill.

It?s funny, she mused, the weather always seems to know how I?m feeling. I?m so confused, yet, I feel as if I should just let everything go, let it all wash away, and begin anew.

The rain steadily increased to bigger droplets, and soon, a quiet rainstorm began, the drops cascading into a soothing rhythm.

Mesmerized by the rain, Hitomi let her thoughts wander, as freely as the water fell.

She was in the middle of her winter break, home from her next to last semester at the University. In a few months, 5 to be exact, she was to graduate and enter into the next chapter of her life. The past seven years had been good to her. After that crazy excursion at Gaea, high school was a breeze. She easily graduated with top honors, and she had earned second place at the area?s highest track competition. With her accomplishments, she had been accepted to a prestigious university, where she fell into a groove at the school, forming new friends, doing well in classes, even finding a boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now, Hitomi thought wryly.

Despite all the happiness in her life and the good fortune that followed her everywhere she went, she still felt a little hollow inside. Although any outsider would say that Hitomi was well adjusted and happy-go-lucky, if one looked inside of her, they would also see that something was missing.

And she knew exactly what it was. It was that feeling she only got when she was on Gaea.

It wasn?t just one feeling, but a mixture that gave her a sense of feeling, not complete per se, but an enrichment that she could never find on earth, no matter how hard she tried.

Not to mention, there was he. Even though her thoughts of him faded, he was always lurking sub-consciously in the back of her mind. She could never completely get him out of her mind, no matter how hard she tried. Liar, she told herself. Okay, so it was more that she wasn?t trying to forget him, but in that, she was trying to move on, but couldn?t. She had gone on dates and had a couple of boyfriends, but she had broken up with each of them, save Hiroshi. And the reason for the breakups was on point to what Hiroshi figured out for himself. No matter how hard she tried, Hitomi always knew that she was meant to be with Van. And this fact prevented her from forging long lasting relationship that could lead to a very serious commitment. Plus, she admitted, she didn?t want to create anything serious.

She didn?t attribute her attraction to Van via the heavens nor the cosmos. Fate, perhaps, played a minor part in colliding the two into each other, but this unspoken bond the two had was something that would never waver nor be broken, either by Fate, time, or space.

So, maybe I?ve screwed my love life over, the woman dryly told herself, but I know Van is thinking the same thoughts? Knowing that, how could I pursue anything else? If I keep believing, I know we?ll be together again..someday?

Framing the palms of her hands around her face, the girl rested her elbows on her desk, still staring into the wet world.

?Oh, Van,? she spoke to the window. ?What are you doing now? How have you been these past years? Do you think about me? Wait?how silly am I. Of course, he?s thinking about me.. I know he is?Will I ever see you again???

She heaved a slight sigh as she took her right hand to finger the necklace, still hanging around her neck. Rubbing her fingers over the smooth, cool stone, Hitomi gave a little wish, placing all her faith into the tiny crystal.

Sitting that way for a couple of minutes, the tired woman fell asleep, lulled by the calming rain.


Outside, the rain fell faster, leaving blurs of streaks against the glass of the window.


FLASH!


Lightning began as a full storm started to escalate.

Startled by the sudden flash of light, the woman sat up suddenly, her eyes wide, trying to absorb what was going on. To clear her head, she shook it briskly as she realized that a lightning storm had begun?that was all. Standing up, the woman stretched her achy legs, as they had been sitting in that chair for the past twelve hours. The girl grabbed her pajamas and began to change into the pants, when she saw another flash of lightning.

Dropping the pants on the floor, Hitomi walked slowly to the window. The light was still shining in a full circle.

This could only mean one thing.

Without wasting any more time, the girl threw on a raincoat and shoes and ran out the door towards the light.


TBC

[Winged~Trinity]

that was great!!! i can't believe u finally finished it i've been waitin so long.anyways great job, and i know it tough to write when u got a lot on the go! well keep it up.can't wait. :razz:
till then

[Dark Ryu]

Very good. Please write more.

[Waking Dreamer]

Aww..thanks for the comments. =) Good to know someone is reading this story-- in this case, someones. ;D I'll eventually get around to the next chapter.. I have one page in the works! =)