For Life: For Love: Chapter [4/?]

[Hitomi Lei]

Disclaimer: I still don?t own Inuyasha. Ignore any errors in spelling or grammar as I don?t really have a beta for this story yet. Also thanks goes to all the people who encouraged me to write this story.

AN: This chapter starts out with Kagome, so we can see how she?s doing away from Inuyasha?

Chapter 4: I?m a Broken Toy

And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown

You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you
--Stay, LISA LOEB & NINE STORIES



The music inside the club pulsed. It moved and flowed around the dancing throng like blood through the veins of excited teenagers. The lights, brilliant and strange, reflected in the eyes of the young patrons the establishment catered to, turning them from mere moving mounds of flesh and bone, into something more. Something almost animalistic. Something almost primal. It was like the devolution of the human race right before her eyes. And Kagome watched it all with board interest from an almost invisible table in the dark recess of the back wall. She nursed an almost full drink, and wondered, not for the first time, why she was here.

She used to like to dance. To be free enough to move her body to a steady beat. To forget about everything but the motion of the other person next to her?

Inuyasha had taken her dancing a lot, when his office hours allowed, even though he wasn?t too fond of going to clubs. He said it was all the loud noise, but Kagome suspected that he just didn?t like the looks men gave her when they went out. He couldn?t dance that well either. His natural grace all but disappeared when on the dance floor, but she?d never minded, because he?d at least made the effort to take her somewhere nice.

?Erg?there I go again! I?m here to have fun, to try and move on with my life, yet all I can think about are my memories of him. But they were good memories, back when I thought we had a chance?

He hasn?t taken me dancing in a while??

Kagome was beginning to think this was a bad idea, coming here, when the pain of leaving him was still so fresh. But Aunt Kaede had said that it was time to stop moping around at the shrine, because all her sadness was giving the elderly miko a headache. She?d practically pushed Kagome out of the house after she?d promised to have a good time out on the town.

But Kagome wasn?t having fun. The music was too loud, the outfits too gaudy, and everyone around her seemed to be years her junior. She noticed some of the young men a few tables away glancing back over at her, but she ignored them. They couldn?t have been out of university yet, much too young for her taste.

?I guess I?m getting old?Maybe I?m just too old for this clubbing thing?Most girls my age have families now?with children and husbands?? Thinking about children brought back the last fight she?d had with Inuyasha before she?d left almost two weeks ago.

?No. I will not think about him any longer. I learned to live without him once. And I?ll damn well do it again.? She forced herself to think about something else, anything else. Like the conversation she?d had with her cousin yesterday. After that first call last week, she and Sango had kept in touch daily, but Sango always sounded strange, as if there was something she wanted to say, but couldn?t bring herself to voice it. Kagome was worried that something was wrong with her cousin?s pregnancy and that Sango wasn?t saying anything because she didn?t want Kagome to be forced to come back to Tokyo. If only she could catch Miroku home one day when she called! Kagome was certain that her cousin-in-law would tell her what was wrong if she asked him. Maybe Miroku would drop some kind of hint as to what Inuyasha was doing now too, not that Kagome cared, but it would be nice to know if she was even missed?

?Hey, pretty lady! Why don?t you come dance with me? It?s too fine a night for an angel like you to be by yourself.? Kagome looked up, startled by the voice of the young man standing over her table. He was one of the boys she?d observed earlier. Up close, she could see that he was a little older than she?d first thought, maybe only a year younger than she was. His short cropped hair was dyed in multicolored hues of blue and purple, and his face looked like a piercing artist?s wet dream. Even his pointy demon ears hadn?t been spared. Kagome wondered absently what youkai tribe he was from.

He was Inuyasha?s exact opposite in appearance. And although Kagome wasn?t into strange hair and extra metal parts, she decided that dancing with him couldn?t hurt.

?I need to move on. And I can?t do this just sitting around drowning in the past.? But even as she opened her mouth to answer him, she felt a strange throbbing at the base of her neck. Her heart contracted as doubts fell through her mind. She didn?t want to do this. She didn?t want to reach for his hand. But she ignored her misgivings and chalked it up as the part of her that still loved Inuyasha was protesting this.

?Sure, if you think you can keep up with me.? She reached out to place her hand in his, and it was like trying to force opposite poles of a magnate together. He frowned at the invisible barrier that kept their hands apart. The back of her neck was growing warm now, but she still was determined to ignore it.

?Wow, that?s some neat trick, how do you do it?? He asked as Kagome just stood up on her own. She looked down at her hand and frowned too.

?I don?t know, it?s never happened before.? She reached for his hand again, and this time whatever had previously kept them from touching was gone. Their hands grasped firmly?

And suddenly he was howling in pain and trying to jerk away from her. Kagome let him go and immediately placed a hand to the back of her neck. The throbbing and the heat were almost painful now. He backed away from her as if she was lethal, leaving Kagome to wonder if her miko powers were somehow going haywire.

?Fuck! Why didn?t you tell me you were bound?? He swore at her before looking around the crowded night club. ?I don?t know where your mate is lady, but you?d better get back to him. ? With that he turned and stomped away, leaving Kagome feeling confused and slightly dizzy.

What had he been talking about? Mate? Bound? While the terms weren?t foreign to her, she couldn?t understand how they pertained to her. Her eye sight blurred while she was staring off after her almost-dance-partner, and she realized just how tired she suddenly felt. She reached up to rub a trembling hand across the back of her neck. She wanted to go home. Not to Kaede?s shrine. No she wanted Inuyasha more than anything right now, but Kagome was afraid she?d burnt too many bridges for that to ever happen.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~



?She wasn?t there?? Miroku looked across the booth at his long time friend?s face. He hadn?t got to talk to Inuyasha much since he?d come back from L.A. In fact this was the first time he?d been able to ask for the full story. Inuyasha signed and sat back signaling the waitress away as she approached with menus. His hands came up to scrub roughly at his face.

?But you got to meet her family. Surly they had some idea as to where she is.? Inuyasha didn?t remove his hands from his face to answer. He just nodded his head. Miroku sent him a sympathetic glance. He stayed silent, knowing that Inuyasha would feel him in sometime before they parted ways tonight. Miroku was a very patient man, after all, he?d started asking Sango to bare his children way back in the second grade. His patient efforts with his friend, just like those with his wife (and the mother of his children), proved to not be in vain.

?Her mother hates me. I never thought about what it must be like for them, having Kagome live so far away. She told me things about Kagome that I didn?t know?? His voice faded off and Miroku could tell that Inuyasha was no longer with him. His face was contorted as if he was remembering something painful.


@>--;--..Flashback..--;--<@


??do you think you are? Coming into my house and demanding to see my
daughter? I haven?t seen my daughter in five whole years! And it?s your fault! She was almost happy, Mr. Kunikada, until you called her back to that miserable island. She was going to get married, did you know that? Houjo had already asked her father for her hand. Then you took her from me?from us?from him! She wouldn?t even come back to see her brother graduate high school!? The hysterical woman turned away from him and buried her face into her husband?s chest.

?I?m sorry, but??

?Make him go away, Daisuke. Just make him leave us alone. If Kagome?s hiding from him she has to have a good reason.? He heard her muffled words and felt his heart sink. But he had to try one more time.

?If you?d just??

?I?m sorry sir, but my wife is very distressed right now, maybe you should leave. And I don?t think it would be wise to come back.?

?But I came all this way, if you?d just??

?I can?t help you, I?m sorry that you traveled all this way. Souta, would you show Mr. Kunikada to the door.? The older man turned his back on Inuyasha and escorted his weeping wife up the stairs. Inuyasha turned desperate eyes toward Kagome?s brother. The younger man just shook his head and walked to the door. Inuyasha felt the last of his hope crumble. Her own family wouldn?t help him.

?We have a great-aunt who lives in Kyoto. Kagome might be with her.? Souta whispered to the dejected hanyou as he walked by. Inuyasha?s head whipped up at the man?s words. Souta shrugged and wouldn?t meet his eyes.

?Kagome talked about you a lot, even when she lived here and dated that Houjo guy. I know she loves you, and you apparently care for her a great deal to come all the way here. Just promise me when you find her you?ll bring her back here for a visit, ne? I miss my sister.? Inuyasha saw a little bit of his own pain mirrored in the younger man?s eyes. He nodded his head, making up his mind then and there that he?d bring Kagome back to see her family if it was the last thing he did.

?I promise, Souta.?



@>--;--..Flashback..--;--<@



?Did you know, Miroku that she was going to get married? I?I saw that Houjo guy?s picture in one of her albums once, but I never thought?? Inuyasha let his voice drift off as he turned to stare out the window. Miroku shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

?I knew she was dating him, and Sango said that the night of your accident was some kind of anniversary for them. I suppose he was going to propose that night but he never got the chance.? Inuyasha looked back at his friend, and for the first time in the almost two weeks that Kagome had been gone, Miroku saw some of his old spark return.

?I?ve almost lost her twice already, Miroku. Three times if you count now. I can?t believe how fucking blind I?ve been all this time! Kagome was right to leave me.? Miroku was shocked to hear those words coming out of Inuyasha?s mouth, and for a moment he wondered if his friend had finally lost it, ?But now I?m going to get my act together! I don?t care how long it takes for me to find her and prove to her that I?m a changed man, because I?ll never give up. I love her and I know for a fact she loves me!?
Miroku was dully impressed with Inuyasha?s renewed confidence and hope. It was like looking at a different hanyou. That?s why he hated to ask the question he was about to voice.

?Do you even know where to start looking for her?? Some of Inuyasha?s steam left him, and a touch of doubt flickered in his eyes.

?Her little brother, Souta, said that they had a great aunt who lived in Kyoto. He said that Kagome might be with her.? Miroku wanted to shake his head. Kyoto was a big city, without a name to go on, Inuyasha had little hope of finding one old woman among thousands.

?Inuyasha, there?s no way you can kind this woman with out even knowing what she does for a living!?

?I know, but Sango?s got to know what this woman?s name is because she would be her aunt too. I?m going to find my mate, and your wife is going to help me.?

Miroku didn?t like the look in Inuyasha?s eyes or the tone of his voice. Sango wasn?t going to be happy about this. And when Sango was unhappy, the whole world (read the life that went on behind their bedroom doors) suffered.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



The sun was just starting its accent into the sky. All over the city shop owners hurried to unlock doors and sit out displays of goods in hopes of enticing the wary morning consumers in through their doors. Soon the streets would be filled with commuters going to work and school. A little later the young house wives would venture out to take their young children to the park or maybe the zoo. People would live this day just like they had lived the day before, one moment at a time, never considering the possibility that their happiness was as fragile as the spider?s web.

Humans are like that, blissfully ignorant until the last possible moment.

Kaede tried to muffle the moan that escaped her lips as she rolled over in bed before slowly sitting up. She was getting old, the proof was in all the aches and pains she felt in the morning, and in the fact that it was getting harder and harder for her to kneel in prayer before the alter each day.

?It?s a good thing Kagome has decided to help me out. I was always sad that she had no real interest in learning to use her miko powers. Maybe I can pass this shrine on to her when I die.? She was shaking her head even as she said those words aloud. Kaede might be old, but she wasn?t stupid. She knew that Kagome wouldn?t be staying with her long enough to learn how to be a miko. It was only a matter of time before what ever the girl was running from caught up with her.

But as long as she was here?it wouldn?t hurt to put her to work now would it?

Kaede made her way out into the hall and toward the kitchen with breakfast in mind. Or maybe just a cup of tea and a bit of that left over miso soup from dinner the night before. Kagome had gone out last night for a bit of fun, and the old miko truly didn?t except for her great-niece to be up many more hours, so there was no reason to cook a big morning meal. It had been a long time ago, but she still remembered how the very young liked to stay out to all hours of the night entertaining themselves in manners that would make their parents blush with shame. But to her surprise, she found Kagome seated at the low table in the center of the room. A cup of no longer steaming coffee sat in front of her, cradled in listless hands. The girl was still wearing the clothes she?d left in yesterday.

?Kagome-chan, did you just get in?? That would explain her state of dress, if she?d just came in from her night out. Kagome looked up, noticing her elderly relative for the first time.

?No, I got in around 12 last night.? She went back to staring into the depths of her coffee was if the dark beverage held the answers to life?s riddles. Kaede felt a touch of panic raise up inside of her chest at the girl?s words. Had something happened to her while she was out? Why had she not gone to bed when she came home?

?Kagome-chan are you?? She reached out a hand to touch the young woman?s shoulder, but before she could Kagome abruptly stood up. Her bangs obscured the elder?s view of her eyes, and Kaede cursed the annoying habit all children seemed to have these days with letting their hair grow into their faces.

?I?I?ve been up thinking all night long. I?m not cut out for the dating scene. All the flashing lights and fake smiles, it?s just not me anymore. What I want?what I want more than anything in this world is?? She cut herself off and finally met her aunt?s worried eyes. Kagome bit her lip, wondering how the elder miko would take her next words.

?Go on, child.? Kaede encouraged, determined to do anything within her power to bring the smile back to her great-niece?s face.

?I want to learn how to run this shrine?and?I want to adopt a child. A youkai child.?




TBC



Ah, and another chapter is born?I hope with one was a little more hope filled than the last have been. The next chapter will focus on Inu in the beginning, but the majority of it will be about Kagome. I could let it stay on Inu, but at the moment he?s not doing anything exciting, just working for Sessho, trying to figure out a way to fire Kanna, and looking for Kagome.
But Kagome, on the other hand, is doing a lot of interesting things, like adopting a child, meeting up with an old flame that is now and Olympic marathon runner?

Bet you don?t know who that is?

Anyway, as close as I can figure this story only has about four or five chapters left?it?s like the shortest thing I?ve written?but that?s the point really. I wanted to see if I could write something and not have it turn into a monster of mammoth proportions.

Like TWTHE?11 chapters and the no real kisses yet?eesh?

Oh and about the mating/marking thing?I know some of you will have figured it out by now, or at least where I?m heading with it, and for those of you that are still scratching your heads, well I love you too!
I?m not going to tell you everything, cause that good is a plot if I cheat and spill the beans? But I will say that the ?mark? isn?t so much a physical thing as it is a spiritual/magical thing?so even though she?s ?marked? as his mate it?s not like she?s got the open bite wound on her neck -_-;;
I hate to say it but the whole, ?He bit me to make me his.? Thing is kinda over done?so I?m trying to reinvent it?but eh?my ways probably been done too?

Nothing new under the sun?blah?

Oh last thing before I get to review responses, I have a new live journal! I had a dead journal, but my cousin informed me that ?No one has a dead journal anymore.? Normally I don?t give care what?s ?in? as far as blogs go?but since my dead journal was living up to it?s name?I decided wtf and got an LJ?so if any of you are interested in reading my half inane ramblings be my guest and follow this link?I?m going to post in on my bio page as soon as I can remember to.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/hitomi_lei/

[Eden]

Nice one!

So Kagome's gonna adopt. Humm. This is an interesting set up. Well, at least Inuyasha dosn't have to worry about her having anyone else's kid, eh? Yes! The introduction of Kouga!! I could make a hobby of all the ways I love his characters interaction with Kagome and Inuyasha. ^_^

I like what you've done with this so far. On one hand you have Inuyasha turning over a new leaf, seeking to move forward with his relationship with Kagome once he finds her, and Kagome on the other, also trying to move on with her life, but trying to stay as far away from Inuyasha as possible. It leaves alot to ponder over. I can't wait to see how this all pans out!

And, I have to agree with the last bit you put at the end, the whole bitting thing is kinda old. I like your new approach!

Well, till next time then.

~Eden

[Lara Winner]

Yes! Inu-kun has finally had a moment of enlightenment. I knew he had a brain under that mop of white hair. Now we just need Kagome to use her's for a little bit and that should do the trick. They need to work things out, maybe see a shrink... you know, the typical way couples waste money instead of simply communicating!

Love the chapter! More! More! More!