Fallen Souls 14/25 by Cassandra

[paxbanana]

Fallen

Chapter 14



Colors. So many colors. And such strangeness?

Wakaranai?

It was too much. The lights blinded her and sometimes the air was so powerful that it pushed her hair from her face. Or she was bumped around too much, her arms sore. She felt so much and yet, hardly anything. It was all too much and it was all too much to understand.

Wakaranai-

Sometimes she could open her eyes enough to see and she was propped on someone?s back, cradled carefully and carried, jumping high, the air blowing into her. And sometimes she was close to the ground, the scent of soil in her nose, and silver strands of silkiness brushing across her face, over her lips. But then the light was too bright and she could no longer keep her eyes open. She became dizzy and the world didn?t seem right.

You dream...

There was a throbbing in her chest and a sense of frenetic worry hovering about her. But it did not come from her. It hung around her, staining the air, working it into a frantic mess of tension and fear. So much fear.

?Not him, Inuyasha. You. It?s always you.?

And then the light left and it was darkness all around. And when she opened her eyes she saw nothing but the night sky and she whimpered to make herself known. To show that she still existed. And in the darkness, over her, hovered the face of someone dear, with his silver hair and amber eyes swimming in tears. But if she closed her eyes he left her sight and he wouldn?t return for what seemed like such a long time. But it remained night. And those times that she did see him it was because he cradled her in his lap, gazing into her face with such a pained look.

?Is that why..? Why you cry? Why you can?t look at me sometimes??

His name was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn?t make it come out fully, couldn?t speak it. The one with the silver hair. She gazed up at him, tears blurring her vision, her limbs weak and weary.

It?s cold?

And he would pull her closer to him, enveloping her in such strong arms. He whispered to her sometimes, his breath soft, his voice trembling but she knew he struggled to make it seem that everything was all right. Even though it wasn?t.

Everything will be ok?

Yes, he agreed, and his hand caressed her face. It would all be ok. And the look he gave her made it seem as if it was he who was trying to convince her as opposed to it being the other way around. But he was nice, to try to be so sincere. It would not be ok. She doubted anything would ever be ok again.

He cradled her nonetheless, rocking her silently, or murmuring to her softly.

Sotto. Sotto?

And above him, behind him, he appeared again. Two images of the same person and she knew then that she was going insane. His soft words would not help her and nothing he did would save her. Not from him.

?Did you really think I would let you go so easily, Priestess?? he asked her, the second image of the boy with the silver hair. And his face was dark with anger, with maniacal glee. He gazed at her over the shoulder of the boy holding her close and his teeth glinted in the moonlight, sharp fangs. ?After everything, after holding on for so long?did you really believe I would surrender you??

Tears welled up once more.

Please, no. Let me go. Let me go?

?You are my treasure, white Priestess. Keeper of the Shikon no Tama. And before you there was Kikyo. The other white Priestess. And I came so close with her, so close?? his amber eyes glowed for a moment, flaring brightly. ?But in the end she was stronger and I was banished. And I?ve wandered for so long, searching. And I found you and I saw within you the spirit of Kikyo and I knew it was my second chance.? His amber eyes stared down at her and for a moment those eyes shifted sideways as he bent over the boy holding her. ?He is beautiful, isn?t he?? the vision questioned, staring at the boy. At his mirror image. He lifted a clawed hand and his fingers hovered over the boy?s silver head, looking as if he wanted to run those claws through the boy?s hair. ?He?s always in the way??

Iie! Inuyasha!

And the boy holding her whispered that he was there, that he was with her, but so was the second image, and she would go insane with fear. She could barely hold on as it was. But the one holding her was pleading, begging her to stay with him, to not go. He would be so lonely without her, that he was always lonely when she was not with him. And over his shoulder his double was practically in tears of laughter, chuckling coldly.

?Lonely? what a joke. Lonely. Like he?s ever understood loneliness,? the second said quietly, mirthlessly. ?He?s lonely now, without his precious Kikyo. Not you, white priestess.? He came close, leaning passed the boy holding her, bringing his face close to hers, and she could feel his breath hot against her cheek. ?He doesn?t care for you. And you know, deep down, that it?s true. You know it. You?ve felt it for so long.?

She gazed at him, the one with the cruel words, for such a long time that she knew his face would forever be scorched into her memory. Because it was true. She had known for so long now. And he had done all he could to keep her away, to send her away. Even now, who did he call for, even holding her in his embrace? Did he still call for the other one?

No. She strained and she heard his voice, the voice of the one holding her and he was pleading with her, saying her own name, asking her to awaken, to fight.

?But is it really worth it?? the double asked in a purr. ?Look at you. You can?t even sense a Shikon no kakera when it really matters. He has no use for you, white priestess. He never did. He wanted you beside him because you are the reincarnated soul of his beloved. But who are you really, other than that? You?re Kikyo?s stand-in. It?s all you?ll ever be-?

No. No. He loves me. He loves me. Please, let him love me. Let him see me?

?And once you?re out of the way he?ll have the Shikon no Tama for himself,? the second whispered almost seductively. ?He?ll have the jewel and the old priestess. And you?ll have no place anywhere.?

The one holding her called out her name and in the darkness his voice was raw, hoarse with fear. And she realized for a small moment that her eyes had closed, that she had lost sight of him. Lost sight of it all.

?Just give up, white priestess. Give it all up and you can be free. Free of the pain. Free of the misunderstandings, the hurt.?

Free?

?Free.?

Free?

And she closed her eyes again, wanting the blackness, wanting the warmth of forgetfulness. And not wanting to hear the sorrowful cry that followed after her into the world of darkness and dreams.







Sango sat up suddenly, here eyes wide. Beside her Miroku snapped up as well, grimacing a bit but pushing away the pain as from the sky came Inuyasha. They rose as the hanyou touched down to the ground and on his back he carried Kagome?s limp form clothed in the fire-rat haori.

?What happened?? Sango asked fearfully. And she stopped cold at the look on Inuyasha?s face. ?What is it??

The hanyou?s face was draped in shadow, his shoulders heaving. ?I can?t hold on to her,? he whispered painfully and he fell to his knees, still supporting Kagome?s unconscious figure but seemingly not having enough strength to support himself.

Sango went around to his side as Miroku rose and swept into the small house that was Kaede?s. Carefully, the exterminator removed Kagome, pulling her limp frame off the hanyou and laying her out on the ground. ?How long has she been unconscious?? she asked.

The hanyou shook his head, lifting a hand to his eyes and rising to turn away. ?Just about 15 hours. I couldn?t move fast enough with her. All I could think to do was bandage it and even still she?s bleeding straight through it. And she?s hallucinating.? His body trembled but he faced away from the exterminator, his voice pained and fearful.

?Hallucinating?? Sango asked, checking the makeshift bandage strapped around Kagome?s torso.

The hanyou paced, still holding the hand over his eyes. ?I think?I think she sees something that I don?t. Or she?s hearing something I don?t. I don?t know!? he shouted furiously at the exterminator. ?But she?s talking?gibberish! And she won?t let me-? he broke off, grimacing.

Sango threw him a measured look.

?She won?t let me?comfort her?? he whispered, eyes downcast, and he turned away once more.

Kaede came from the house quickly, looking as if she had been awoken and quite rudely at that. Miroku followed, heaving a bit and Shippo was on his shoulder, blinking sleep from his eyes. But the moment the kitsune?s eyes caught on Kagome he snapped awake, his small face paling. ?Kagome!?

?How is she?? Kaede asked, crouching beside Kagome?s still form.

Miroku allowed Shippo to climb down from his shoulder and slowly he raised his gaze to Inuyasha as the rest of the group crowded around Kagome. The hanyou stared at them all for a small moment and then, wordlessly but with a wounded look, he turned away and floated off.

?She won?t stop bleeding-? Sango murmured faintly.

?Is she going to be ok? Is she going to be ok?? Shippo continued to ask over and over.

?Perhaps some of that alcohol she brings from her world-? Kaede mumbled.

And Miroku frowned faintly, going off after Inuyasha. He vaguely heard Sango call to him but he waved to her that he would return. There was something he needed to do first, something that the hanyou needed to answer.

?Inuyasha,? he said as he caught up to the half-demon and he paused as the hanyou stopped finally, hovering close to the forest. He opened his mouth to speak but broke off as pain swept his form from the wound the scorpion had left. Grimacing, he clutched his wound and looked at the hanyou. ?What happened??

Inuyasha returned the look, his face lost in shadow, his hair gleaming in the moonlight. ?You know what happened,? he growled dangerously. ?You were there when it happened-?

?While you were gone,? Miroku cut him off curtly, coming closer. ?Don?t dismiss it so easily, Inuyasha. When you were gone looking for her, in the small amount of time that you two were alone together, what happened??

The hanyou hesitated. ?Nothing,? he whispered.

The monk cocked his head warningly. ?Inuyasha-?

?Nothing happened!? the hanyou shouted furiously at him, cutting him off, anger rising from his form almost palpably. ?Nothing-?

And at the look on the monk?s face he came to a stop, heaving emotionally. The silence that fell upon them was laced with suspicion and fear. And a deep sorrowful agony. But Miroku was not there to judge. Miroku never judged. And slowly, Inuyasha came forth, his head bowed shamefully.

?I almost did it, Miroku,? he whispered faintly, so faintly. He trembled and the monk knew it had nothing to do with the cold night. It had to do with something shameful, something that had scared the hanyou enough to make him hesitant.

?What did you almost do, Inuyasha?? he asked the half-demon reluctantly, suddenly not wanting to know. Somehow he knew, it would just be bad.

The hanyou didn?t meet his eyes when he spoke, his eyebrows drawn together in a mask of pain. ?I almost made her mine?? he uttered, and he lifted a hand to his face, his claws scraping across his skin as he rubbed his eyes once more. ?Against her will??

Miroku stared at him. ?Inuyasha?? he breathed.

?I don?t understand what happened-? Inuyasha cut him off quickly, almost pleading. ?But I was furious with her. I was scared out of my mind for her, all I could smell was her blood on everything, all around, and when I found her-?

The monk leaned closer to the hanyou, urging him to continue.

Inuyasha took a long moment, silent. And then, slowly, his jaw clenched, his frame stiffening and he said very quietly, ?She was with Kouga.?

Miroku recoiled a bit as if he hadn?t been expecting that. ?Kouga?? And then his eyes widened in disbelief. ?With Kouga?? he questioned, stressing the sentence.

The hanyou fell silent once more and there was the faint buzzing of anger but also confusion and still shame. ?It didn?t get that far. But I ran with it, Miroku,? he said. ?I came in at a bad time and I saw something that I shouldn?t have seen and I was furious with her. I was furious that she would have me worry and then to walk in and?see her with him?? he shook his head, grimacing.

The monk looked at him carefully, lowering his voice to the hanyou. ?But you know that whatever you did see between the two of them?it is not up to you to judge the things she does. You gave up anything you may have had with her a long time ago when you chose Kikyo over her-?

Inuyasha looked at him quickly, lips parting.

?And you did it for Kikyo, yes,? Miroku said and he lifted a hand to clasp the hanyou?s shoulder. ?And you may have remained friends with Kagome-sama but you have no say in the matter. Not anymore.?

The hanyou?s face slowly turned sorrowful as he stared at the monk, as he understood.

The monk hesitated with his next sentence, his lips parted to speak. ?Inuyasha?I think something was left behind when you killed that youkai??

And the hanyou?s face turned quizzical.

Miroku looked over his shoulder as if he didn?t want anyone nearby and then, lowering his tone even more, into that of a confidential whisper, he said, ?Ever since the youkai that wounded Kagome-sama?there has been something different. And I don?t know if you have felt it but I know I have. I know Sango has felt it. And Kagome-sama for a fact is under it-?

?Under what?? Inuyasha asked and his face turned dark, his frame straightening as if he were ready to kill.

Miroku paused, unsure how to answer. ?I can only guess it?s a spell. But I have no idea how that can be if we killed that demon-?

Inuyasha blinked. ?The one with the revolving face?? he questioned. And then, turning angry once more, ?Miroku, make some sense!?

The monk inhaled patiently, eyes focused on the ground thoughtfully. ?My words aren?t helping me. I can?t seem to make sense to anyone anymore?? the monk shook his head. ?Inuyasha, Kagome-sama has been?different, ever since that encounter. Haven?t you noticed? Haven?t you noticed anything at all different about her??

Inuyasha paused, looking at the monk suspiciously. He had noticed actually but he had never attributed her personality changes with the youkai. On the contrary, he had just wondered if maybe she had been going through her womanly cycle. But it was true, ever since that battle in which Kagome has been wounded, she had been acting differently. The hanyou?s eyes slowly fell away, his heart breaking. He had wanted to believe that maybe there had finally been another chance since he had discarded the first opportunity. And he had almost welcomed it because it would have meant a second chance with Kagome. But now?

Miroku was still looking at him when he raised his head once more. ?Time is running out,? he said quietly. ?And the Shikon no Tama only becomes more clouded. Her spirit is becoming tainted and she will not be able to sustain the Shikon no Tama at this rate.?

Inuyasha stared at him. ?What are you saying?? he asked him with a cold frown.

The monk straightened. ?I?m saying we need to figure this out before she gets well. If she recovers it will be the same thing all over again-?

?But what is there to figure out?? Inuyasha demanded. ?You aren?t even making sense! I have no idea what you?re talking about! All I do know is that Kagome is over there dying because of something I started! I started this, Miroku! Had I not thought that taking the Shikon no Tama would save her she wouldn?t be in this situation! She would be getting mad at me right now for acting stupid, sitting me left and right-?

?No,? Miroku cut him off and he looked over his shoulder once more. ?This started before that. This has been going on for a while now. My only question is how is it possible if we destroyed that youkai-?

?Inuyasha!? came Shippo?s voice suddenly and above, flying on Kirara?s back came the Kitsune. He hovered above them, his face pale.

?What is it?? Inuyasha asked him, frowning.

?Kagome-? was all Shippo said and Kirara touched down to allow Miroku to climb up.

The hanyou merely looked at him for a moment before whirling and racing back toward Sango and Kaede.







?Look at you, you poor little insignificant thing??

She couldn?t see in the darkness. She could only feel and breathe and upon the air came the familiar scent of wood and tree. Wildness. She shook her head, trying to focus her vision but only blackness surrounded her. Blackness and that evil voice, whispering in her ear, hovering around her heavily.

?Did you really think he would be here for you?? That I would be here for you??

In the blackness she felt warm breath upon her face and she turned her head in that direction, searching blindly. The voice of Inuyasha. He was close by, around her but not within reach-

?Inuyasha-?

A tongue lapped at her face and she shuddered, turning her face away.

?Look at you! I show you affection and you don?t even want that. What do you want, Kagome? What do you really want?"

She wanted to find a way out of the blackness that surrounded her. Wanted that voice to stop being Inuyasha?s because he was never so cold to her, never so angry. And she wanted that strange little shiver running up and down her spine to stop?

?You want me. All of me. Body and soul?? came his voice again, so soft against her ear, almost loving. She tilted her head a bit, yearningly, and she was rewarded with a gentle kiss to her lobe, the warmth of his breath. And if she allowed herself to feel she was almost sure that was his silky hair falling across her collar, against her chest. Heavy, thick hair. She whimpered softly, turning her face to him, reaching longingly.

?Yes. Body and soul. You?ve wanted me for so long, since the beginning. You?ve wanted to feel my skin against yours, my breath mingling with yours,? Her arms at her sides were grasped tenderly by the wrists, claws scraping gently, smooth skin brushing hers. Fingers trailed up her arms, toward the elbows, passed. ?You?ve lusted after me??

Kagome arched, her lips parting, needing to feel more of him. It was such a tease, a cruel tease, the way he behaved. He must know, after all this time, he must understand-

?And now you can?t help but want me this way. Deep inside you would give it all up for one unforgettable experience with me. Just one. Especially since you?ve dreamed up so many others?

?Oh?no?? she whispered into the darkness, suddenly feeling as if he could see everything she had inside her. Every shameful thing, every shameful thought, she felt he could see it all. And she felt unbearably naked before his presence, hovering in the blackness. She had always hoped that if it were to ever happen between herself and Inuyasha that he would accept her for her, that he would see into her and still love her. And now that it was being put to the test she was overwhelmed by the humiliation she felt.

?That?s an interesting one?how long is that little fantasy of yours???

He could see it all. And he was being callous about it. He was being dismissive with her thoughts, her images. Her dreams. All of it was a joke to him. Tears welled up as he murmured to her, his fingers trailing across her skin playfully, his voice teasing her cruelly.

?Didn?t you know I could see into your thoughts? Into your desires? I am your desires. In your world you can turn me, twist me into anything you want. Ask me to jump and I?ll let you fly??

She shuddered as his fingers roamed upward, brushing passed her collar, across her skin to her throat, scratching a claw into her flesh.

?But this isn?t your mind anymore, Kagome. You?ve just wandered into my world and there are three ways you can go from here. Any three ways. Pick one. Any one. Or choose to stay here. With me.?

Where else was there to go? She grimaced, exhaling as his fingers dipped down her torso, trailing down between her breasts slowly, his hand opening wide as it dragged. Her skin prickled and she whispered, ?Don?t. Don?t so this. Just let me go, let me wake up-?

I can?t take more of this. I?ll let him do what he wants if I don?t wake up-

?Is that so bad? Letting me do what I want? I guarantee you would enjoy it. But then again?you already knew you would. So what would be the harm? I?ll only prove to you that the person is as real-?

She felt lips brush her skin just below her breast, a warm tongue lapping at her skin.

??as the dream??

Trembling, she arched once more, reaching blindly. She encountered arms, long lean arms, and she took hold of them, dragging him closer. ?Inuyasha-?

A soft laugh echoed in her ear as she felt a masculine body come close, brushing up against her and then lay upon her. Heavy and suffocating. Mindlessly she wound her arms around his neck, embracing him to her, and he allowed her, still laughing almost silently in her ear.

?Do I feel real??

?Yes?? she whispered and she closed her eyes, blackness upon more blackness, as he pulled himself up from her a bit. In the darkness she felt hands lift to her face and she arched her head back, giving herself to him, to his gentle fingers as he trailed them across her cheeks, her jaw. His skin was warm against hers and she realized once more that in this darkness she was nude. As was he. She could feel all of him, resting on all of her. And it made her shiver in anticipation, wanting.

?Is this what you want??

?Yes?? she said again, pleading, and her sigh was lost as he rose above her, his mouth closing over hers suddenly. He made a small sound, his kiss deepening, and she clasped him to her, shifting under his weight. His hair fell down the sides of his face but even opening her eyes into slits she saw nothing. Nothing but blackness.

?Would you like to see my face??

She broke the kiss, crying out, ?Yes!? and she allowed him to pull away once more, her eyes coming open fully to see him in the darkness.

And there, slowly coming into focus, coming into light, was the lean frame of the hanyou. But where his face should have been was the shifting faces of the youkai. The Lust with the narrowed eyes and the mysterious smile. Icy fear shot through her and she opened her mouth to scream but he clamped his hand down over her lips, laughing as she struggled under his grip.

?Isn?t this what you wanted, Kagome? Didn?t you want to see my face??

She shrieked through his hand, kicking and lashing out in terror and more arms suddenly sprang from him, breaking from his form and clamping down on her to hold her still. She screamed again, tears rising in her eyes, and the face suddenly shifted into The Evil.

?No fun for us, then?? he questioned and blood abruptly rose on her chest, a dark pool slowly widening. She looked at it in disbelief, not understanding, but she felt the pain that came with it, clear through her entire form.

I was shot?with the arrow?

And suddenly, one of his hands rose into the air and stabbed downward, piercing her chest where the hole allowed more blood to flow free. And she screamed as pure agony swept through her, screaming into the blackness.







Inuyasha broke from the trees, Kagome?s screaming echoing in the night and she lay on the ground still, but she thrashed wildly, shrieking as if the devil were trying to kill her. Kaede sat at her head, Sango straddling her, struggling to hold the girl down and she looked at Inuyasha as he swept up beside her, her eyes fearful. ?She suddenly started screaming! I don?t understand-?

Inuyasha took hold of one of Kagome?s hands and moved Sango over, throwing one leg over and straddling her himself. Under him Kagome screamed once more, her face twisted fearfully, her eyes shut tightly. ?Kagome!? he shouted at her, grasping her other arm by the wrist and shoving her to the ground. ?Oy, Kagome! Wake up!?

And for one moment her eyes came open, blurred with tears and she saw him clearly, recognized him, before stiffening and screaming even louder, thrashing furiously.

?Iie! Iie!?

On her chest the bandage was soaking through with blood, the stain widening and Sango quickly ripped off a bit of her shirt, pressing down on Kagome?s chest and looking at Inuyasha in terror.

?What is going on?? she demanded.

Behind them Kirara touched down and Miroku swung off, already holding a slip of paper in his hand. Murmuring quietly he swung it toward Kagome and the paper caught to her forehead, snapping straight.

Kagome?s screams stopped in mid-wail and a breathless moment later she fell flat, silent.

Inuyasha stared for a moment, settling limply on top of her and beneath him Kagome seemed to sleep, the blood widening under Sango?s hand. Sango stared at him, breathing rapidly and together they both looked at Miroku wordlessly.

The monk?s face was firm and dark, standing stiff. ?We?re losing,? he said simply.

And all Inuyasha could so was look back toward Kagome as she slept on.

To be continued...

[Kaili Charmer]

:-? FWAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! I'm confused yet again!!! ~sniffle~ I just want to know what's totally going on like the rest of them...! Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why....?
:x ?

[Noko Marie]

Soooo angsty! It's good but the woods look awfully deep and tulgy from here. Of course just cutting losses and locking Kagome away in a nut house seems an option to be considered. After all, would you ever really trust the person who equated you with the devil again?