Fallen Souls 8/25 by Cassandra

[paxbanana]

See previous for disclaimer.

Fallen

Chapter 8



Something?s wrong. Something?s been wrong for a while now. My body feels strange and I feel so tired. So tired of it all.

The sunset was beautiful outside and it slipped in through her curtains, into her dark room. She gazed at the windows, at the sunset, with a blank, weary expression. Her room was a cool blue, except for where the sunlight made it a copper yellow. She felt as cold as the blue.

How long has it been? How long have I been here? Where have I been at all?

Time seemed to flow differently here. When she had returned her mother and her grandfather had been happy to see her. At least they were. Her brother had, of course, wanted to know all about Inuyasha. He looked up to the half-demon.

Those first days had flown, one melting into the next until she couldn?t differentiate between them. And now they dragged, one sunset finally turning into night at such an unbearably slow pace. All her evenings were spent like this, gazing out into nothingness, seeing nothing. Nothing but his face.

She wanted to see him.

But he didn?t want to see her, which was why he hadn?t made an effort to come through into her time. The shrine remained silent, the well abandoned. And the Shikon no Tama glittered, reflecting the copper glow of the dying sun, throwing strange and beautiful colors across her walls. She stared at them, her hand shifting the jewel, watching the colors flash, jumping around from place to place. Inuyasha moved like that, swiftly, unexpectedly. Always so beautifully.

Inuyasha?

She dreamed of him. During the night, during the day. Always. She saw his face in her mind and she cradled it to her heart but then it would be replaced with her face and the whole image was ruined, destroyed. It hurt to think that between the two of them they shared so much, including him. Especially him. She gazed at the Shikon no Tama, as it glittered delicately, and she cursed it. Cursed Midoriko. Cursed the ever-waging battle. Cursed the light that shone from within and the darkness she felt throughout. And cursed Kikyo for returning. Because of her Inuyasha would never be free to become full youkai. In the end it would be Kikyo?s fault. She would see that to the end.







Slowly he pulled himself out of the well, looking about in the evening sunset. A bit of that sunset leaked in through musty windows and he looked up to the door of the shrine. Closed and empty. Everything was silent except for the occasional scurrying of small animals. He sniffed silently and he could smell her in the air, in the shrine. She was close by; her smell permeated the entire area. Hefting himself out of the well, he hesitated on the edge, crouching warily.

She had been gone for so long, he had almost convinced himself that he had forgotten what she smelled like. But being here, like this, so close to her, she flooded his thoughts, made him lose any words. He had once thought that having her safely away was better than having her close at hand in battle but he knew better now. With her by his side he was unstoppable. She was his strength and his courage. And the voice of his conscience, deep inside.

He hopped off the well and slowly made his way up the stairs, pausing at the shrine door. He wanted to see her. Now.







She was hearing small noises. And she almost fooled herself into believing that the splintering light of the Shikon no Tama was making the noises. But then she heard the soft sounds again and she knew it was not the jewel. A shadow darted at her window and she sat up instantly. Too big to be a small animal. And she didn?t wish for it to be a large animal. She shoved the jewel under her pillow and slowly rose from the bed, her heart pounding. If it was her brother he was going to get it.

The window slowly and quietly slid open and she stared as she saw clawed hands grip the glass. A moment later he poked his head in, large dog-ears twitching.

?Inuyasha!?

The ears perked up straight and his amber eyes caught on her as she paused before him, her hands on her hips angrily.

?What do you think you?re doing, sneaking into my room like this??

He glared at her as he pulled himself in fully, seating himself on the windowsill. ?Well, you seem to be very much alive and not sick at all,? he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

?What are you talking about?? she hissed at him, ignoring the sweet pangs that ran through her just to see his face, no matter how haughty he seemed. She watched him as he turned his face away in a feline gesture that did not fit his canine form.

?You?re not dying or writhing on the floor in any sort of discomfort so I?m just wondering what is taking you so long to get yourself back through the well,? he growled in her direction although he didn?t face her.

She felt the beginning of her anger bubble up but quickly tried to shove it down. He was here, here for her, wasn?t that good enough? It meant he had worried about her, had wondered about where she had been and what she had been doing. Had worried that she wasn?t all right. She took a step closer to him, her hands falling from her hips and he straightened a bit as she drew close but did his best not show that he had noticed.

?I worried you?? she asked him softly.

He arched a twitching eyebrow. ?Keh,? he spat under his breath. ?Why should I worry about you? You come and go as you please and you think you can take care of yourself. I just came for the ramen.?

She came to a screeching halt. ?Ramen??

And then he finally looked at her, his amber eyes narrowed, arms still crossed over his chest. ?And I came to make sure the Shikon no Tama was still intact,? he said quietly, his voice firm.

She stared at him. For a long moment all she did was stare at him. And she felt the happiness die away, the sweet feeling that came with seeing him, she allowed it to melt away. His face was dark in the sunset, and purposeful, and she did not like it. It angered her, to know that he did not trust her.

?Why would it not be intact?? she asked.

You care only about becoming a full demon.

His face softened a bit at her question and he said, ?The last time we had a problem concerning it you didn?t seem to care one way or another what you did with it.?

Did she send you for the Shikon no Tama? Did she miss having it, holding it in the palm of her hand, upon the necklace? Did she lose control of you once she did not have it in her possession?

?It is still intact,? she said softly but she did not go to retrieve it. She gazed at him, at the copper glow that painted his hair gold, that made his amber eyes come alive. ?You have nothing to fear. I would not abandon you in your hour of need.?

He frowned slowly at her as she took another step closer and his arms fell away limply. ?I never accused you of abandoning me, Kagome,? he said to her faintly. ?It?s the last thing I would ever want-?

She lifted a hand and pressed a finger to his lips.

I can?t hear this from you. I can?t hear lies drop from your lips. And I can?t hear you tell such sweet lies only to shut me up.

He gazed at her with wide amber eyes as she drew close to him at last, looking down at him from inches away. His gaze wavered a bit, studying her wordlessly, and he was stiff. Wary.

The truth of it comes out slowly.

?Do I make you nervous?? she asked him questioningly.

For a small moment there seemed to be a war waged inside, one that splintered out through the expressions that crossed his face. He seemed ready to retort that nothing made him nervous, that he laughed in the face of death. But instead he said, ?You?re making me nervous right now.? His eyes narrowed a bit as he gazed at her. ?I don?t know what you?re thinking. I don?t like not knowing.?

She hesitated, her finger playing across his bottom lip. She wanted those lips, right then. To feel his teeth nip at bite at her through those lips. To see just how gentle, or how wild, he could be. And he seemed to sense her thoughts for he was stiff enough to break like cardboard if bent the wrong way.

?Did she make you nervous?? she asked in the faintest whisper, leaning close enough that her breath was warm against his face.

His eyes slid shut against his own will, his skin burning and very much aware of her, every bit of her. ?Nani?? he asked, swallowing breathlessly, arching slowly toward her.

She lifted her other hand to his face, running her fingers over his smooth skin, pressing against him. ?I said,? she echoed almost in a purr, ?did she make you nervous?? And she leaned her face down against his cheek, inhaling his scent, her hair falling across his lips.

His chest heaved against her, hands fisting, claws digging into his palms. ?Who?? he asked her senselessly, tingling as her hair brushed against his lips, sliding silkily.

?Kikyo??

For a moment there was nothing except the sound of the world outside her window, and the name of the long dead priestess. It floated, her name, murmured and caught by a gentle breeze.

And Inuyasha suddenly grasped her by her arms with a vice-like grip, claws burying into her skin. She grimaced at the sudden pain and he shoved her backward, away from him to be able to look her in the eyes.

?What did you just say?? he asked her in the softest tone, springing to his feet and standing over her.

She stared up at him, seeming completely lost and bewildered and he shook her forcefully, his amber eyes narrowed in sudden anger. ?Inuyasha-?

?What did you just say??

She had never seen him so angry. And his anger brought out the fury she had in herself as well. ?What does it matter what I said?? she demanded, her tone rising, and she struggled vainly for a moment, trying to pull her arms free of his claws but his grip was powerful and she only succeeded in dragging his claws along her flesh as she wrenched back a bit. ?It isn?t as if I were wrong-?

?Of course you?re wrong!? he shouted and he shook her almost violently, his face twisted in fury. ?You?re always wrong about everything when it comes to her! To us!?

She grimaced, eyes closing as she yanked herself backwards. He did not release her and she found herself dragged toward him easily, as if he put no mind to it. ?You?re just?a hanyou!? she shrieked and as his lips parted at her words he suddenly released her, his form stiffening.

She fell backward to the floor with a small cry, crashing, and when she opened her eyes she saw his form against the copper sunlight. He loomed dangerously and she found herself suddenly frightened of him, of his formidable height.

?Just a hanyou?? he asked her in a broken whisper.

She sat up onto her rear, hands lifting her. ?It?s all you are!? she shouted shrilly, heaving for a single breath. ?It was all Kikyo saw in you! A half demon! She didn?t love you! She didn?t know what it was to love you!?

He stared at her, his jaw hanging open and the look of disbelief on his face?it hurt her.

Kagome broke off, returning the stare, understanding that he trembled. And her anger was white hot, to know that an insult to Kikyo was an insult to him as well. She rose onto her knees slowly, a glare upon her face and he backed away a step, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Her eyes flashed at his gesture. ?You?re angry at the truth-?

His teeth shone momentarily, and he issued forth a growl as he glowered down at her. ?Truth?? he asked in a dangerous whisper. ?What do you know about truth? What do you know about me? About Kikyo? Being her reincarnation doesn?t mean you know her-?

?I am not her reincarnation!? she shouted, paling in anger. ?Do not look at me and see me as her! My name is Kagome!?

?You could have fooled me,? he hissed, his face dark. ?I look at you and I see her. Her eyes. Her hair-? his hand rose and swiped at her hair, taking several locks into his grip. ?Her face-?

She grimaced as his hold on her hair tightened and she lifted her hands to try to undo his grasp.

?Her cheeks. Her chin,? and he said softly, reluctantly, ?her lips. Her smile-?

She shook her head. She didn?t want to hear this, any of it. She didn?t want to hear that she was only a mirror image of the priestess. It was too much. She was too much, so much more than herself. She could never compete against Kikyo, not when it came down to Inuyasha.

He fell to his knees before her suddenly, his other hand taking her face into his grasp. ?Her mouth. Always her mouth-? and his eyes shone brightly as she looked into them, into the amber irises. ?Your mouth-?

She stared at him, gazed at him wordlessly, her lips parted at the emotion on his face, the broken-hearted pain. And she had never wanted to see that look on his face.

I never wanted to see you look like this?

Her heart breaking, she threw her arms around his shoulders, lifting herself into his embrace and she pressed her mouth to his. One powerful kiss, frenetic, her hands tangling in his hair. His breath had been stolen from him, it was clear in the way he stiffened, but it took only a moment to regain his bearings. Then his arms were trapping her against his chest, his mouth molding against hers as if she sustained him solely. Her breath seemed to be his, her heartbeat his own. She whimpered faintly against him as he dragged her forward, onto his knees, against him. So close together, as if they made up one person between the two of them. His breath heated her skin, his tongue soft against hers even though the kiss was wild. As wild as he was.

This is what she could never have. This is why I?m not her, why I can never be Kikyo.

She straddled his thighs, her back straightening and making her loom over him. But he did not release her from the kiss, a gentle growl rumbling in his throat. She loved that sound, when it came from him, when it traveled down her frame the way it did then.

Kikyo could never be one with you the way I can. She could never give herself to you the way I can. And she could never get this kind of reaction from you, I won?t believe that she ever could have-

Her hands lifted to his haori, pulling it free from his frame, up over his head. He pulled away from her wordlessly as she yanked it from him and as she tossed it aside he merely stared at her for a moment, a frown on his face. Silent, much too silent. She bent into him once more, kissing him breathlessly, and he allowed her, his breath leaving him as well in a soft sigh. And his kiss was softer now, gentler, his claws digging into her thighs where his hands had come to rest.

She could never give you this?not before?

?And not now,? she whispered against his mouth and she lifted her hands to his white top and yanked the folds apart.


To be continued...

[Kaili Charmer]

EEH??? I'm still confused...but i can say STUPID INUYASHA!! Just HAD to say that he only saw kikyo in kagome....

[Eden]

Definatly a diffrent sort of look into Kagome's thought's. I mean, I get the insecurity, but i feel like this Kagome is EXTRA insecure, and increadibly, . . . Brash? No, not the right word. I'll think about it while I wait for the next chapter.

Are they really gonna do it? I think while I wasn't looking I got hooked.

Till next time,

~Eden

[Nausica?]

Inuyasha can be such an idiot sometimes - and yet, I think that him and Kagome are both in the wrong at the moment. It was horrendously tactless of him to say that all he saw was Kikyo whenever he looked at Kagome, but I think this sudden move of Kagome's towards what we all think is about to happen is too rash and sudden. If they do go through with it, I'm interested in finding out what the morning after will be like. It can't be pretty * wince *

Good chapter and hoping you post the next one soon...


- Naus

[kmf]

Oh, I love this story! But, you already know that Cassandra ^_^ It has such a wonderfully unreal and dreamlike quality about it which sets the mood perfectly, and the plot is a real rollercoaster ride of emotions. Keep posting it! People are going to love it ^_^