Lover (R)

[Tomorrow]

AN: Okay. This is my first try at something with so much? citrus. I guess one could say that it was a personal exercise, getting myself ready for some heated scenes in my new series. This is REALLY dark and sadistic? and actually a revamp of an older fic of mine (completely changed now). Thanks.

Warnings: Rape

Disclaimer: I don?t own Gundam Wing or the song ?Perfect Lover? by Kansas, that fits in perfectly with this fic.




The past.

My demons.

My murders.

I almost can't remember a time when the stench of rank death failed to fill my nostrils, enough to make me gag. Then the blood would come, choking my throat, turning my mouth bitter and salty as I coughed up red spit. An intense shrieking stilled my convulsions, screams of supposedly brave men, soldiers nonetheless, who when I shoved the barrel of my gun to their heads they cried like bullied children. As if I had somehow intimidated or cheated them out of their lives unfairly-- Just because I was the one pulling the trigger. They begged me for pity, cowering like beaten, starved dogs, even whimpering with the tails of their uniforms between their legs. And I shot them. Broke their necks when they cursed me. Sliced their throats when they tried to fight back.



It's in your head, they're telling you it's in your head
It's a figment of your imagination



Anything to kill them. Anything for the mission.



It isn't there, they're telling you it isn't there
You're a victim of your infatuation



Bloodlust. The coursing of sexual shivers down my back as I watched their bodies twitch, covered in sweat and blood and tears. I can?t deny any sensual gratification from it, the erotic heat that made my breathing erratic and intoxicated my senses with the secretions of reeking corpses? made my tongue run over my lips.



What do I think that it is I see? I keep asking myself
Nothing like this has ever happened to me...



I had become lovers with death, and it used those gory wiles to tempt me.



There's a perfect lover running through my head



I was addicted to that sex? and slowly, with each new spatter of blood on my lips when I shot the enemy, each painful groan that resonated in my ears, it destroyed me. And yet there was a perverted sense of comfort in it, that whenever I was coital with this reality, we always climaxed together. Spent. As in the afterglow I shook in realization for the atrocities I committed, depleted from my release and the guilt I sent with it; and the victim quivered with the dying of his last nerves. Both of us were servants of death?s sex game.



There's a perfect lover; I can see her in my head



It was consensual sex on my part, however. I had come to crave it.



Perfect lover



But the first time I looked at Relena? I wasn?t aroused. It was the first time since I was a child that I didn?t lust over someone?s demise - more exactly, someone who deserved it.

And I didn?t understand it.

I needed to kill her for the sake of the mission, and meanwhile sate my carnal morbidity. I am human; It wasn't entirely my desire to see others perish, especially not by my hand. At least that their lives were not executed by my own will.

But...

If death were immanent, who was I to complain?

The warmth I felt, though, the more I was around her, got to know her? Wasn?t that perversion.



They keep telling you -- they keep telling you, it's just a fascination
Why don't they listen -- no one listens to what I am sayin'



It was gentle and genuine and? pure. It wasn?t a heavy yearning, but lighter, beautiful somehow. She seemed beautiful to me. Warm to me. Making me want to keep her.



And everyone tells you she just isn't there, that it just couldn't be



What made her different from the others? I didn?t know.

I still don?t understand it.



If only they knew how real she is to me...



And apparently she doesn?t either, from the confused way she looks at me, eyes clear and shimmering in the starlight that creeps through her drapes: her hair disheveled from sleep, the strap of her nightgown falling off her shoulder, exposing her pale skin to the moonlight. Making it glow.



There's a perfect lover running through my head



?Heero.?



There's a perfect lover; I can see her in my head



She whispers my name, her hand clenching at the sheer material as she looks at me for an answer. Waiting.



Sometimes I hear the cry, (I hear it crying out)



The moon reflects off her hair, burnishing the strands in its sterling, mythril forge, melting them into runny gold. I want to burn myself on them.

?Are you alright?? She reaches out her hand and brushes my bangs away, setting its back against my skin.

That warmth.



Your voice from deep inside



I nod, subconsciously leaning into her touch.

?You can tell me, Heero. I want to help you.?

?Relena, you don?t?? I close my eyes, reveling in the feel of her fingers in my hair, her breath on my neck. A few of her strands fall along my chest, scalding me with silken heat. Melding that threaded metal along my skin.

That warmth.

That lust.

?I?m a monster.?

?No, Heero. Don?t say that,? she hushes me with her fingertips and lays her head against me, rubbing her cheek along my flesh.

That lust.

?You did what you had to do for peace? you saw so many things. But it?s okay now? you don?t have to fight anymore.?

That lust.

?Stop it Relena?? I whisper, almost moaning as I mean to push her away from me, feeling myself lose control? But my body won?t comply. ?You don?t know what you?re releasing in me.?



They're stealing you from me...



?It?s okay, Heero. You?re human and allowed to feel. Just let yourself feel for tonight.? Her right hand caresses my shoulder, making lazy patterns with her nails. Even her nails are smooth and gentle when they graze my skin. She just can't seem to scratch the itch my flesh needs alleviated so desperately - so desperately it's crying, if only through wantonness. Her other hand does the same to my opposite side. Just holding me? as I feel her lips flutter against my chest, right upon my heart. Causing it to race.

That lust.

I can feel something stinging at the backs of my eyes, the bloodied memories flashing through my mind, as she continues to sway against me. The soft smell of chamomile and lavender wafts from her hair, mixing with the stench of the mutilated bodies I've had. It's coupled with the warmth of her breath along my breastbone... and the chill of a knife?s blade. Her sighs are almost drowned out by the supplication of condemned soldiers. All just one, vivid picture to me. Tears slice at the corners of my eyes as I can only choke out my pleas for her to stop. To get out of here while she still can.



I'm not looking through the eyes of a desperate stranger



?No??

I bite my bottom lip.

That lust.

?No more??

?Oh Heero??

And then she screams into my mouth, trembling from my sudden urgency as I suffocate her with my kiss, nearly choke her with my tongue as I force it into her mouth - just feeling her body and stalled in our intimacy? My possession of her, of her warm, pulsing flesh that I can taste and touch.

I can't stop.

I need it.

Bad.

I devour all I can of her. And from the heat surging through me, I realize that her innocent fear, those wide, churning eyes and her quivering legs, is seducing me even more. Her whimpers are making me ache as I expose her body, licking and biting and kissing it.

I'm famished.

This is real. I can feel Relena around me.



What I envision is so real, I don't want to change her
And sometimes I feel like she's standing right there



So much more tangible than an affair with death.



Like I could reach out and touch her



She moans into my shoulder as I pin her to the bed, a frightened, undulating cry. Sobs wrench her lips and scintillant tears run down her face as her hips instinctually move in time to meet mine. Beyond her will.

Lovely. Delicious.

I nibble at her neck, run my fingers along her thighs as she writhes beneath me. Her words and groans... I can feel them trying to poke through the lusty, needy haze in my brain, to soldify in my ears, to reach me? but I silence her with a strong bite to her throat, leaving her breathless and submissive to my proceedings. I suck the blood from her skin, examining my teeth marks.

My brand on her.



Only I know how real she is to me...



Those glistening cheeks and her body sparkle with the sticky, delicate tenuousness of a cobweb that ensnares the sweat from my skin; those swollen lips and her blanket of gold cradles our love-making? Yes, love-making? not sex. Her face is contorted between expressions of physical stimulation and emotional pain, mating the paradox in her eyes and moans. Her brow wrinkles, her legs kick at me, but she arches her back to get my mouth on her body, coils her arms around my neck.



There's a perfect lover running through my head



She doesn?t want to see me for what I am.



There's a perfect lover; I can see you in my head



She?s beautiful? and mine. My escape from the past.



There's a perfect lover running through my head



My new lover.



Perfect lover

[Kari]

As you said it was dark. Different then other stories but I liked it anyway.

[Mizaya]

Whoa. That was really dark and creepy, but definitely wonderful. Heero was like a serial killer, getting sexual satisfaction from the kill. Damn, who knew such evil things were running around in that sexy head of his. This was...I think I'm kind of speechless. The piece really kind of speaks for itself. You have a mastery over the English language that I think a lot of renowned authors would be jealous of. I'm...wow!

[HeerosChick1842]

I'm gonna also go with dark, but dark is good for some stories such as this one!

[stormwind16]

My my Now that was pure DARKNESS!
I need some light over here. I'm going to light a candle


Anyway great fic! It was dark, yet sweet in a sick kind of way. I'm not that good at english so I'm REALLY jealous of your english vocabulairy.

Keep up the good work!

luv Stormwind16

[Nausica?]

* claps *

Dark and different from the norm... and yet somehow valid. :-? Or am I the crazy one here? * shrugs * Well, I just think with the upbringing and environment that Heero grew up in, I don't think that the situation you described is all that far-fetched. Exemplar, serial-killers. They're real, they're out there (unfortunately)... * shudders *

Good thing Heero's not really like this, eh? Cause it would really kill all that sexiness he has, for me, haha...

Gripping work you did here, Tomorrow. Excellent as always.


- Naus

[Akasha]

Speechless....

[Perfect Soldier]

Nothing like a little twist on a good fanfiction and the darkness in this fic did just that, bravo. Amazing, truely.

Zero

[Andrea]

Different, yet, beautiful. It was dark, and it really reflected the mind of a tortured soldier... Excellent piece of fiction.

[bookworm]

That was good. A good dar fic. A dark Heero. Hmm...