That's How It Is *revised* OCxR 1xR

[War Dove]

Sunrise/SOTSU Agency and Bandai owns Gundam Wing and its characters...I don't.

This fic was the first 1xR fic I’d ever written. I think it was also my first het fic, since when I got into the GW fandom I was into, and wrote, yaoi. So this was written four years ago. It was also the first time I really wrote Relena, having gotten totally fed up with all of the bashing that went on about her.

Funny thing about revising old fics, you get to see how your opinion of characters, relationships, and the show in general change over time. I wrote Relena in this fic how I viewed her then and in revising it, I had to really try not to instill the way I feel about her now so I could keep the continuity of the story. Does that make any sense or is it just confusing?

Ah well, all one can do it try. Hope whoever reads this enjoys it.

* * means the sentence is a personal thought.

No real warning, just angst, more on Heero’s part, but the ending is happy. OCxR 1xR

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With his hands folded under his chin and his elbows resting on the table, Heero, in one of the few times of his life, sat stunned. He couldn't believe what he was reading in front of him.

Relena Dorland and Butler Gray cordially invite you…blah blah blah…wedding…blah blah blah…to be held in the gardens at the Dorland estate...blah blah blah…

The ex-assassin closed his eyes in an attempt to block out the rest of the message. Unfortunately, in its place came a flood of memories, old decisions that he had made, he was now, finding hard not to regret.

Three years ago after Marimeia’s failed uprising, Heero had resigned himself to be Relena's personal guardian; to always watch over her and protect her, even to the point of giving his own life, if necessary. It was an oath, that he had kept to this day, but it was not that promise which he now regretted, it was the resolution that he had made privately to himself.

That, in order to protect her, he could not love her. Emotions and feelings were things that could only distract him from his duty and complicate his missions. His dark and bloody past of murder and deceit would taint her pure soul and serve only to dim her innocent and idealistic nature. It was a reasoning that at the time had made perfect sense to him, but now, as he stared at the invite he was beginning to wonder just how flawed his reasoning had been.

Having watched her perform her political duties and having witnessed her actions in various relationships romantic and platonic, he had to admit to himself that she was no longer innocent or na?ve. That she had matured in body, mind and spirit and that the fifteen year-old girl whose eyes at one time were wide with questions and wonder had grown up, lost her rose-colored glasses and saw the world clearly for what it was. It had happened all right before his eyes, only he had not accepted it until now, contented only to see the darkness of the shadows from where he had always watched her.

“No longer.” He scolded himself as he gently folded the thick paper back to its original form. Then holding it tightly between both hands, with his fingers gripping its edges, he tore the invite perfectly down the center. “No longer will I let those shadows blind me.”

Knowing Relena’s schedule perfectly, he left his place immediately, for it was ten forty-five. Fifteen minutes until her and “that” man were due back from their Friday night date at the concert hall. After running three blocks, he entered Relena’s apartment high rise, nodding business like to the attending security, the men having no reason to question why he was there, knowing the position he held.

Too impatient to wait for the elevators he took the stairs, entering the hallway two minutes later. Several seconds after that he was in front of her door, lock pick in hand, though before he could execute the necessary move, he heard the ding of the elevator.

Thinking like the Preventer that he was he popped open the vent above her door and hopped up into the shaft, placing the metal shield back into place just as Relena and Butler rounded the corner.

From his position he had the perfect view of the couple, a blessing and a curse, he told himself as he watched with intense and jealous eyes. Relena was giggling and smiling sweetly at Butler, as she unlocked the door, he behind her, his hands around her waist, his nose, nuzzling her neck. She swung open the wooden barrier as she turned around into his arms grabbing him suddenly around the neck and pulling him down into a kiss before pulling him all the way through the threshold, the door slamming closed and locking behind them.

He tightly clenched his jaw fighting his first instinct, which was to jump this Butler guy and break his neck, but talking to Relena was the real imperative and he wouldn't allow himself to be distracted. He willed himself to wait and ignore the cold air that was blowing through the shaft right onto him.

He laid his head back and closed his eyes, but opened them back up immediately when all he could see were imagined scenarios and images of Relena and that bastard Butler together, touching, kissing, lying side by side, he atop… “Damn it Yuy, stop it.” He growled in a whisper, thankful when his attention was forced away from such thoughts by the sound of the opening door. His eyes darted to look at his watch and he found it hard to believe that only thirty minutes had passed, but considering himself lucky, he sat upright again, mentally flipping off the man that emerged and warning him not to come back.

Once he was sure Relena’s fianc? was completely gone. He hopped down from the shaft, unpicked the lock and slipped through the door, only to lock it again once he was inside. He heard the shower running and thanked lady luck once again. For now he had time to build back up his resolve to confront Relena and think of exactly what it was he wanted to say.

The first thing his eyes noticed when he entered the lamp lit bedroom was the neatly made bed. His hopes that nothing had happened came to him, but were briefly dashed when he saw a pile of bed linens crumpled on the floor in the far corner of the room.

Heero forced the barrage of unwanted images from his mind once again, wondering why it was only now, the thought of other men touching Relena was starting to bother him. *Because before you refused to acknowledge your true feelings for her…it only took the realization that she would be gone from your life forever to make you realize you love her.* His hearing, telling his brain that the shower was no longer running, brought him to attention, and as was his way, he slinked into the shadows.

She came from bathroom, her lilt form draped only in a towel. Her smooth skin was flush from the heat of the shower and her hair was piled messily atop her head, with wet ringlets curling down around her face. Heero’s dark blue pools swirled with a whirlpool of emotion and desire as he watched her allow the towel to fall from her body, as she raised her arms above her head in a full body stretch complete with the arching of her slender back.

Turning to the dresser beside her, she opened the drawer and pulled out a simple white negligee and raising her arms a second time, she allowed the satin material to slide down her body, where it met to just below the soft curve of her rear. Matching lace panties came next and like a fly stuck to wallpaper so was Heero’s gaze as he caught sight of the shadowed cleft when she bent over. He internally groaned at the disappointment he felt as the view was covered up by white silk and lace.

Standing once again, she released her hair from the confines of the clip that held it off her shoulders. The dark gold locks, which she had allowed to grow out again, tumbled playfully down around her back and shoulders, before becoming tamed once again, by the comb she was now running through them. Casually sitting down in front of her vanity, she looked straight into the mirror, toward the direction of where Heero was standing. A quirky smile appeared on her face as she spoke. "You can show yourself now Heero."

Taken aback that she had sensed he was there, his first thought was to duck and run, but he was caught and he knew it, and strangely, this was one, surrender he found himself not wishing to avoid. Stepping slowly and gracefully from the shadowed corner, he snapped on the bedroom overhead light. “ Why am I not surprised you knew I was here?”

Rising to her full height, she turned to him. "I sensed your presence. You’ve followed me around for so long, I’ve come to know you. Your sound, your stare…your smell…did you think I was so witless, or yourself so clever? I'm not that na?ve little girl anymore."

He folded his arms. "So I've noticed."

She laughed, almost too eerily for him. "So what brings you here Mr. Yuy? Why I've not seen you since…I can't even remember. Did you come to congratulate me on my upcoming nuptials?"

Taking a bold and threatening step toward her, he found himself glaring down into her eyes. "I came to stop you."

Those very same eyes of aqua blue that held him entranced, rolled sarcastically before him. "Oh please, not the I'm going to kill you bit. Been there. Done that."

Heero could feel his body temperature rising and his patience becoming thinner with frustration. The Relena he knew would have melted at the chance to even be near him. His voice grew gruff and deep. "You're making a mistake marrying this man. He's not right for you. I claimed you first. That is how it is."

Her face grew somber, but her eyes stayed angry as she stepped towards him. Heero's head snapped back from the force of her open hand. He could have easily blocked her assault but he allowed it. He deserved it.

"How dare you come to me and tell me how it is? For a whole year I waited for you, like the love struck schoolgirl that I was and you never took real notice of me! Now you show up in my life out of nowhere and expect open arms to your invitation?” She slugged him again, but this time with a closed fist.

The taste his blood as it trickled from his lip, combined with her defiant actions triggered something deep inside of his primal male ego and he suddenly found his hands upon her. His fingers entwining themselves into her mass of hair, whipping back her head so that he could force her into a stolen and greedy kiss. His male pride gave way to pain however as her teeth sunk into his tongue and her nails dug into arms, catching him off guard enough so that she could push herself away from him, sending him to the floor in the process.


"Don't you even touch me Heero Yuy!" She twirled away from him and crossed her arms around her body fighting back emotions she thought she had killed and buried a long while ago. A time, when one of her dreams was to have him kiss her with such passion…a dream, one dream in a long line of many that had not come true. He had broken her heart, but she had moved on and now she had nothing but anger, resentment and hate for Heero Yuy…or did she?

Her body had grown hot from his touch, his kiss; she licked his blood from her lip, blood so sweet. Relena closed her eyes and willed away her weakness, telling herself she had to stay strong. She would not look at him, even as she could feel him standing behind her, turning from her to walk away. Her eyes flashed open when she realized he in fact had not walked away but was still standing behind her, closer then before. His voice still gruff, but with a certain gentle sincerity that she had heard only one other time. Believe in me.

"I'm not leaving, Relena. Not until you realize that you belong with me."

She swallowed slowly, her voice hoarse with whispered emotion. "Butler loves me. He's a decent and kind man."

He gripped her shoulders gently and turned her around until she was facing him, his eyes drilling directly into her own. "Do you love him?"

She returned the question, the defiance back, but laced with doubt. "Do you love me?"

They stared at each other for several intense moments. Heero tensed his body. If he was to ever have a chance he knew he had to be the one to give in first, something he was not used to at all. He forced his eyes to stay fixed on hers. "I love you Relena. I have just been to much of a coward to admit I need you."

Relena reinforced the strength in her knees, for so long, she had waited to hear those words fall from his lips, words that she knew were so hard for him to say. He had stopped lying to himself, running away from his true feelings, and if he was brave enough to face the truth, and his fears, then so could she.

Her palm smoothing down the side of his face, made Heero’s pulse race
even more with anticipation as he awaited her response. And when he saw her gently and warmly smile at him, his heart jumped with hope and then when she spoke he felt as if his heart would literally burst from his chest. "I could never love Butler like I have always loved you, Heero."

With each taking another step, they found themselves mere inches from one another, his head bent forward and her head raised as she stood on her tiptoes; they were nose to nose. Relena smiled brightly as she brushed away the stubborn dark bangs from his forehead. "You've grown taller Heero."

He stroked her cheek with his fingers, grasping her chin delicately, drawing her even more into himself. "And you've grown even stronger."

Continuing to look into each other's eyes, they melted together in kiss.

And that’s how it is.

END

[Morrighan]

I like this one! It may be an old piece, but it still is an excellent portrayal of their characters. When I first got introduced to GW fanfiction I could never understand how a single character could generate so much hatred and I've been a staunch Relena supporter since day 1.

Great job!

[Kari]

It's old but always nice to read.