Schizo (PG-13/R)

[Tomorrow]

AN: This is just a short little piece that I felt like writing, and to Berry-chan: this isn't the same thing that we discussed before (I'm still debating on that idea). ^_- Enjoy, everyone!


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.




?Heero??

The young woman remained still in the doorway, stiff from shivering and some ominous, inner omen that hovered constantly near her heart.

There it was again - blowing through her valves, chants echoing off the linings of her atriums.

A prophetic sigh sailed from the evening clouds, whispered over her skin. That respiration, too, attempted to fortell something horrific in its garbled bellows, as it choked her neck with slinking chains of susurration and chilled her back. Her pale hand rested on the doorframe - cold rigidity to warmer, pliant flesh - while her eyes prowled the room?s anonymous shadows and oblivious darkness for a man. Her soft brow furrowed as her gaze met with nothing but wafting drapes and drifting silhouettes and emptiness; a strange silence fell over the room, one that made her gulp, only broken by the hissing of the oracular breeze. It taunted her like a spoiled child tugging at her hand, one that wouldn't settle down until its high-pitched, whiny ravings and babble were heeded, until she dared to acknowledge them. Such goading distracted her as she tried to conjure Heero?s last words to her in her mind. But nothing came of it.

It never did.

He told her he?d be here, but the walls shrieked under the weight of their secrets and the deliberate betrayal they witnessed. She watched oak-stained tears fall from the panels' knots, heard the wood crying as the estate settled. She heard it. She saw the faces in the wall contort and moan in misery for her. Mahogany... warping into dark umber... morphing into a ringed smear of ebony. His absence, somehow, became its own palpable testimony against his promise. Loneliness is a much more reliable lover than he... at least emotionally.

Something was wrong - she could feel it in her bones.

Her blood chilled, breath constricted as the despondency in the room refused to calm, only got thicker, more guttural with each second that passed. Palms damp with sweat rubbed against her nightgown, and her mouth went dry like the creaking wooden walls. They came towards her, holding their hard, angular arms out to her. Hold her. Crush her.

Here it was again; the same fear that overtook her every evening - when the sun cast her mansion in dusk?s romantic sheen, when deceptive tranquility eclipsed the night.

When she was near Heero.

There he was.

No there.

The glint from the nozzle of his gun.

His hand brushed over her shoulder.

He breathed on her neck, hot and musky. The heat seared her skin, coaxed her back to arch - closer to that warmth, that sensuous simmer that made her blood boil. Sweat and panting.

Then it came? that coldness that raped her already aroused soul. It made her tremble and quiver and buck through a haziness she couldn't clear. It always came? but soon left her as dawn approached the horizon, cold replaced with warmth and post-coital laziness. She felt rumpled and sated, but the only love she made had been with the shadow of a memory and its numb caresses. She felt warm - it had been so cold, she burned. Her sheets were soiled with the faint words and smudges from a printer's fresh ink; then they seemed papery and wrinkled.

It kept her from wondering? it kept her from pursuing.

But tonight she crumpled the Preventors report between her fingers, bit her bottom lip as she turned from the room to walk the corridor and descend the stairs. She waited outside his door - the setting sun casting her face and shoulders in darkness, caging her in umbra as the Prussian hues of twilight restrained the sky in sheer shackles and shadowed bars. A blend of warmth and chill with such bland gray? apathetic gray? forgotten gray. Demented gray? soon to turn black as the day surrendered itself.

?He must still be at the Preventors,? she mouthed and yet barely whispered, eyes still trained on the pallid sheen of the door. Her hand turned nearly white as she crushed the papers within it. ?He?s revamping security or finishing a mission report.

?He?ll be here soon.?

?Relena??

?Brother, I know you two have your differences, but I love him. Please, try to be supportive of that.? She unconsciously ripped the report in half, its pages falling to the floor beneath her - with only one tattered sheaf still clenched between her fingers.

A concealing storm of white, erasing scraps.

She looked up at her brother, tears staining her face in lucent streaks as if she couldn?t feel them, immune to her own cries? yet a smile. She smiled as she trembled so violently, knees knocking together.

His hands. Oh those powerful hands. His wet sighs made her shiver.

?I?m? very tired, and so I think I?ll go up to bed now, Milliardo.? Her footsteps echoed, interrupted by a thought. ?Tell Heero to come up when he gets home, because he told me last night that he wasn?t going to take the overnight shift this time.?

?Relena??

?And during lunch he told me that Lady Une was considering an honorable discharge for him, and then he?d be here more often.?

Sadness, pain in a sibling?s ice-blue eyes.

?So just tell him to come upstairs?? Relena involuntarily swallowed in that dim light, her body hollow like a specter raised from its desecrated and pillaged grave, with her fair, ghostly gossamer hanging limply over her shoulders. Newborn moonlight glowed on her ethereal skin.

Their sweat glittered like rain, his tongue making another sparkling rivulet down her neck.

?I miss him.?

Her jerky footfalls faded, rendering lonesome silence.

When gone, Milliardo bent down and picked up the fallen scraps, limbs heavy and chest burning, branded numb. It was a persistent ache that wouldn?t die? wouldn?t leave him? refused to ebb.

He felt his heart drop - at the recollection of her display. Her suppressed grunts. The muted panting. The subtle convulsions. She really wasn't with him anymore, not mentally at least. The black letters printed across the torn sheets were his explanation as to why, but he could have guessed just as well without them. Maybe he just didn't want to believe it. Maybe that's why he refused to institutionalize her, why the therapists didn't come.

?Don?t bother to stay up, Milliardo,? Relena?s voice carried from the stairs. Once again that na?ve smile she gave him, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. ?Heero just called and said that he can?t make it home tonight. Apparently, someone?s trying to hack into the Preventor?s main computer network, and he has to stay and monitor the situation. You know he?s the only one with enough expertise to protect the system if the intruder gets in.?

She turned away.

?It?s a good thing he called, because I was going to go to bed without filing this report.? She held up the crinkled, torn page for him to see.

?Would you like the rest of it?? her brother questioned her somewhat awkwardly, approaching the staircase to return the scattered papers.

?No!?

Her gasp and visible shivers froze him; she stepped backward and hugged herself, making harsh red marks around her outer arms and crescent scratches with her fingernails, embracing herself in the puerile, insane darkness that protected her. The slip of paper dropped to the floor, and she crushed it beneath her heel.

She wouldn't accept it-- Couldn't face the truth. Insanity was an organized world that bent to her will and imagination - not this chaotic place of reality and death and heartbreak. It was unpredictable and touchable... it could hurt her. But her delusions, so perfect and precise and satisfying... what a clever drug, one that couldn't be detected in her blood.

They sucked her back in.

Nothing could harm her here. In this place, this fake world of hers, Heero held her, made sweet promises he'd never made to her before she found this depraved haven, would most likely never had made to her. But here he still existed, here he did say those things - that's all that mattered.

This was better than reality. This was where she wanted to be.

?I don?t need that part? it doesn't matter.?



Preventors Military Protocol & Mission Agenda:

Agent: Yuy, Heero
Age: 19
Rank: Commander
Mission Statement: Penetrate abandoned Victoria base and secure location for Preventors weapon research and storage.



Milliardo looked down at the large scrap in his right hand and read it slowly, deliberately? Read it again as he heard her walk away; trudged through it as he heard the bedroom door shut behind her; scanned the words as he heard the whimpers of his sister as she flung herself onto her bed, a scared and lost girl who found refuge in her sick realm of lunacy. Her sexual fantasies and paranoia mated nowadays. A fine line between reality and mentality had been crossed - even wiped away for her.

And that simple report reaffirmed something they?d both already known for a month.


? Agent Yuy, Heero found dead at mission site Victoria Base. Confirmed cause of death was nine (9) gunshot wounds to the head from guerilla fighter and knife wound through the abdomen. The mission was a success, for the agent completed his mission: the repossession of military base, despite discouraging odds?

--Commander in Chief, Lady Une

[Goldberry]

Ooooo, very nice, T-chan! *glomp* It's so eerie and yet so touching at the same time! *wonders how that could be* I loved it! And thank you for putting my zechys poo in it, that completely made my night.

Have you gone back to your old writing style? This seems more in the essence of your early fics. Very lyrical and descriptive!

Keep up the good work, dear!
*huggles*
Berry

[shadowcat]

wow, Tomorrow, this is so wonderfully written, alittle sad though, don't you think??

-Shadow

[AngelOfDeath]

WEEP!

You're writing makes me think of novels from the late 1700s and early 1800s, I've decided.

I do so love when you post. So elegant.

So how about something happier next time, ne?

[Perfect Soldier]

I really loved it, partly because it didn't have a happy ending. Because unfortunately there aren't always happy endings in life, and I think this fic sort of showed a side of that. It was truely accomplished.

Zero

[Kaili Charmer]

~gasp~ that was depressing...good, but depressing...

[bookworm]

~gasp~ that was depressing...good, but depressing...

I totally agree.

[Kanya Barton]

Wow, angst, angst, and more angst! I love it! This was beautiful! Oh gosh...this is just too good! Well, I hope to see more stories like this out from you! LoL
Peace out!

[Morrighan]

So sad.... Tomorrow, you're so eloquent, it's amazing!! Love it!!

[lilac310]

THat was good...I remembered reading a short story in my English 11 class entitled "Sound of the Hollyhocks", which is mainly about a guy with Schizophrenia. :razz: