My Immortal
Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 3:22 pm
Title: My Immortal (songfic)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: 2xH more or less
AN: I love angst and I love music. I love angsty music! I hope you guys like this fic!
Disclaimer: Oyuki does not own Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. She's sad about that. Maybe her boyfriend will buy it for her for Christmas... Oyuki is also sad that she doesn't own the song "My Immortal" but she's happy that Evanescence does because Oyuki can't sing to save her life...
My Immortal
Hilde sighed again as she cleaned her stove. She should have been out there. She should have been doing her job. She was a soldier and yet here she was, sitting comfortably at home doing nothing. But it was too late. Too late for lamenting and too late for regrets. Three years. It was all over now. There was nothing for her to do anymore. She wasn?t needed anywhere.
She angrily flung the dish towel away from her. This was her greatest failure yet. It seemed that Fate hadn?t dealt her a bad-enough hand years before, every time she picked up a new card to play with, Fate gave her a bad card. Her hand hadn?t been one she thought she?d win for a long time now.
She should have listened to herself. She should have followed her instincts. Her heart, damn it! She should have followed her heart! ?Damn it,? she cursed lightly. After all this time, she was still angry at him, but she was angrier at herself for listening to him. Her hands fisted at her sides until her knuckles were white. She ran her hands over the bandana that covered her head and sighed. She needed to get back to work. Her house needed to be cleaned.
I?m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won?t leave me alone
Hilde placed one of her hands over her heart. It still ached for him, she still pined for him. She took deep breaths to calm herself. She didn?t need to be this upset over something that had happened a while ago. The tears came as unbidden as the heavy rain that started outside.
She looked out the window in wonderment. Rain was very rare on the colonies. It almost never rained. She wiped her tears away, silently wishing he was there to wipe her tears as she?d wiped his when he was in need.
But there was no one left for her, no one left who cared for her. She was alone. She had been left behind by everybody she?d ever cared about. Why couldn?t she let it go? Why was she still lingering in the past when she had so many things to think about in the present?
These wounds won?t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There?s just too much that time cannot erase
She was in pain. In more pain than any physical wound could ever cause her. She had not found anything that would rid her of her pain.
?It?s so unfair,? she whispered, tracing little patterns on the foggy window pane. ? You were never fair to me, Duo. You thought you were protecting me but you were only thinking of yourself,? she said to the empty kitchen.
Hilde wiped her tears away again.
When you cried I?d wipe away all of your tears
When you?d scream I?d fight away all of your fears
And I?ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
She was so in love with him then. She did anything and everything for him during those few short months they were together.
And it all had been for nothing. Nothing! He?d just left her the first chance he got! The first time he got word of a battle he left her.
Hilde pulled lightly at the bandana wrapped around her head. He had left nothing for her. No letter, not a note, not a thing for her. He?d left without a word. She used to think they?d be together forever. She cherished him so damn much at that point. Her heart beat faster again and she placed her hand on top of it.
All of her being had left with the braided man that night.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I?m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me
His brashness, his confidence and his attitude were what had captured her heart. She?d loved him more than anybody far older than either one could imagine. And now, here she was, dwelling in her memories of him. And it was all she could do and it was all she would ever do.
She was stuck in a part of her life that was long gone, and it had been for years but she wasn?t willing to let it go yet. She clung to them like a man adrift at sea would cling to a raft.
These wounds won?t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There?s just too much that time cannot erase
There was no one left for her. There was nothing left of her former self. She was the shell of the young woman she had once been. She was sickly thin, her eyes and cheekbones were sunken in. She looked horrible; like death warmed over.
Hilde finally pulled the bandana from it?s knot and away from her head. She ran her hands through her short hair and sniffled.
When you cried I?d wipe away all of your tears
When you?d scream I?d fight away all of your fears
And I?ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
She hugged herself and looked out the window again, the rain doing nothing to soothe her emotions anymore.
He?d taken everything and never returned to give it back.
I?ve tried so hard to tell myself that you?re gone
And though you?re still with me
I?ve been alone all along
Hilde didn?t fool herself for one second. She knew that Duo had never been hers to keep. He belonged to no one. He was a free spirit and no one could have ever told him where to go or where to stay longer than he was willing to. He was like a bee who flies from flower to flower but never pays special attention to just one.
She was alone now and she had always been alone. Duo had never been more than a passing cloud over her sky. Beautiful to look at for a while but never staying long enough to appreciate.
When you cried I?d wipe away all of your tears
When you?d scream I?d fight away all of your fears
And I?ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
The rain continued to poor on Hilde?s old house. She sighed sadly. Resigned to always being alone, with only her memories of her passing dream.
The End
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: 2xH more or less
AN: I love angst and I love music. I love angsty music! I hope you guys like this fic!
Disclaimer: Oyuki does not own Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. She's sad about that. Maybe her boyfriend will buy it for her for Christmas... Oyuki is also sad that she doesn't own the song "My Immortal" but she's happy that Evanescence does because Oyuki can't sing to save her life...
My Immortal
Hilde sighed again as she cleaned her stove. She should have been out there. She should have been doing her job. She was a soldier and yet here she was, sitting comfortably at home doing nothing. But it was too late. Too late for lamenting and too late for regrets. Three years. It was all over now. There was nothing for her to do anymore. She wasn?t needed anywhere.
She angrily flung the dish towel away from her. This was her greatest failure yet. It seemed that Fate hadn?t dealt her a bad-enough hand years before, every time she picked up a new card to play with, Fate gave her a bad card. Her hand hadn?t been one she thought she?d win for a long time now.
She should have listened to herself. She should have followed her instincts. Her heart, damn it! She should have followed her heart! ?Damn it,? she cursed lightly. After all this time, she was still angry at him, but she was angrier at herself for listening to him. Her hands fisted at her sides until her knuckles were white. She ran her hands over the bandana that covered her head and sighed. She needed to get back to work. Her house needed to be cleaned.
I?m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won?t leave me alone
Hilde placed one of her hands over her heart. It still ached for him, she still pined for him. She took deep breaths to calm herself. She didn?t need to be this upset over something that had happened a while ago. The tears came as unbidden as the heavy rain that started outside.
She looked out the window in wonderment. Rain was very rare on the colonies. It almost never rained. She wiped her tears away, silently wishing he was there to wipe her tears as she?d wiped his when he was in need.
But there was no one left for her, no one left who cared for her. She was alone. She had been left behind by everybody she?d ever cared about. Why couldn?t she let it go? Why was she still lingering in the past when she had so many things to think about in the present?
These wounds won?t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There?s just too much that time cannot erase
She was in pain. In more pain than any physical wound could ever cause her. She had not found anything that would rid her of her pain.
?It?s so unfair,? she whispered, tracing little patterns on the foggy window pane. ? You were never fair to me, Duo. You thought you were protecting me but you were only thinking of yourself,? she said to the empty kitchen.
Hilde wiped her tears away again.
When you cried I?d wipe away all of your tears
When you?d scream I?d fight away all of your fears
And I?ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
She was so in love with him then. She did anything and everything for him during those few short months they were together.
And it all had been for nothing. Nothing! He?d just left her the first chance he got! The first time he got word of a battle he left her.
Hilde pulled lightly at the bandana wrapped around her head. He had left nothing for her. No letter, not a note, not a thing for her. He?d left without a word. She used to think they?d be together forever. She cherished him so damn much at that point. Her heart beat faster again and she placed her hand on top of it.
All of her being had left with the braided man that night.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I?m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me
His brashness, his confidence and his attitude were what had captured her heart. She?d loved him more than anybody far older than either one could imagine. And now, here she was, dwelling in her memories of him. And it was all she could do and it was all she would ever do.
She was stuck in a part of her life that was long gone, and it had been for years but she wasn?t willing to let it go yet. She clung to them like a man adrift at sea would cling to a raft.
These wounds won?t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There?s just too much that time cannot erase
There was no one left for her. There was nothing left of her former self. She was the shell of the young woman she had once been. She was sickly thin, her eyes and cheekbones were sunken in. She looked horrible; like death warmed over.
Hilde finally pulled the bandana from it?s knot and away from her head. She ran her hands through her short hair and sniffled.
When you cried I?d wipe away all of your tears
When you?d scream I?d fight away all of your fears
And I?ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
She hugged herself and looked out the window again, the rain doing nothing to soothe her emotions anymore.
He?d taken everything and never returned to give it back.
I?ve tried so hard to tell myself that you?re gone
And though you?re still with me
I?ve been alone all along
Hilde didn?t fool herself for one second. She knew that Duo had never been hers to keep. He belonged to no one. He was a free spirit and no one could have ever told him where to go or where to stay longer than he was willing to. He was like a bee who flies from flower to flower but never pays special attention to just one.
She was alone now and she had always been alone. Duo had never been more than a passing cloud over her sky. Beautiful to look at for a while but never staying long enough to appreciate.
When you cried I?d wipe away all of your tears
When you?d scream I?d fight away all of your fears
And I?ve held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
The rain continued to poor on Hilde?s old house. She sighed sadly. Resigned to always being alone, with only her memories of her passing dream.
The End
song stuck in my head now. But that's a good thing.
Good lil songfic, I'm gonna listen to My Immortal now. 
In that case, WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BRAIDED BUTTHOLE? I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS MYSELF! :evil: