all that i have of I saw the sign

[stargazer]

Please, set me free.

Ever wake up one morning and realize everything you have, cherish, and love doesn?t mean anything anymore?
I?ve wakened up but I wish I were still asleep.
That one single person that I always knew was there but never cared about is gone. I can?t get him back and I?ve spent my entire time after someone else. Why? Stupidity. Everything you take for granted you end up needing. I need him. A week ago I wouldn?t of cared what the hell happened to him. You have no idea how selfish I was and still am.


3:59 A.M.
I hear a rock or a twig knocking against my window. It?s too early to get up but I know whom it is. My legs extend over the edge of my bed. I feel the hard cold wood of the floor freezing my feet. Almost automatically I open up my window to see the person I knew it would be. It?s Kyle. He stands outside leaning into my room with his hair all untidily on his head.
?Hi.? He says in this cool voice that makes me swoon.
?Hi.? I say with much excitement in my voice. I try to say ?Hi? the way he does in that cool girl from Paris smoking a cigarette voice but I can?t. I?m just so happy to see him there.
He bends to kiss me. My eyes catch a glimpse of a silhouette that doesn?t belong to him or me. I blink and then it?s gone. I must have imaged it.
?I just wanted to say hi. Will you go with me some place? Now, if you can??
OF COURSE I?LL GO WITH YOU! I think in my head.
?Sure give me a second.? I?m so happy to go anywhere with him. I?d fly to the moon and back with him if I could. I quickly grab my jacket that sits on my computer chair and hastily put it on. I walk over to my window; Kyle extends his hand I take it without a second thought. I realize that I?m bare foot but I feel so great I?m walking on air. There again I see the silhouette of a person. It looks like a boy. I turn my head around to see if I can get a good look at him but like before he?s gone. I wonder if someone is following us? Or even spying on us?

?OW!? I yell loosing my train of thought.
?What?s wrong? What happened?? Kyle asks sincerely.
I look down at my foot and see I was cut by a twig, Kyle sees it too.
?Here I?ll take you home. It wasn?t that important anyways.? He says with a trace of sadness in his voice. I know it was something important but he knows what?s best for me. I mean I can?t be running around at 4 am in the morning with a cut foot.
Almost like one of those sappy books Kyle picks me up and carries me back to my window. I feel so good in his arms.
?Do you want me to come in?? He asks.
?No, my parents would kill me if they found you in our house this early in the morning. I think I can manage. Thanks though.? I say. What I don?t tell him is that no one is home but me. (He?s so lucky he has the perfect family everyone home all the time, but look at me , I have to watch for myself all the time.) I just don?t want him to come in; I don?t know why I just don?t.
?Ok, byes then take care.? Kyle says a bit offended.
I give him a cheek kiss goodbye to show I care for him.
After he disappears I close my window and grab a band-aid from the bathroom.
I fall back asleep.

7:24
AH shit! I?m late! I grab my school uniform lying on the edge of my bed and quickly put it on. I see no need to put on any make up it?s a waste of time. Like lightening I run to the door where my shoes are sitting awaiting for me to put them on. As I stuff my feet into my shoes I realize I missed the bus! Quickly I lock the door behind me and start running to get to school. The pain in my foot keeps me from being ?Lyn track super star?(now if I was only on the track team). I hear the honking of a horn and turn around to see the person honking it. It?s my neighbour Stephen. He?s that quiet keeps to himself yet nice type of guy, not really my style, you have to talk for me to take a notice of you. I hardly ever see him at school. He?s always in the library being inconspicuous in the same corner. He like I spend a lot of time in the library but I?m always there with a group of friends quizzing each other for an upcoming test. I don?t think he has many friends. I always see him alone.

?Miss the bus again?? He says with a laugh.
?No kidding!? I yell back.
?Want a ride?? He asks in a shy tone.
?That?d be great! Thanks!? He really saved my butt this time! I run over to his royal blue ?00 Ford Focus. It?s a sensible car, but not one every teen would want.
The ride to school is so silent it?s almost unbearable.
?Can I turn the radio on?? I ask trying to break the silence.
?Sure.? He must be one of those one-word types of guys. (Ugh, Yes, Grunt, Humph, etc, etc,)
I see he has his radio to one of my favorite stations. By luck my favorite song ?The Sign? by Ace of Base comes on. I turn it up without any consideration wither he likes this song or not.
I start singing along to it and I catch his eye as he looks at me with a strange expression.
?What? My singing isn?t that bad!? I say in defence.
He looks away and sighs. He doesn?t say a word the rest of the trip. Unlike me I sang along quietly to all the following songs after ?The Sign? ended.
He parks near the front of the school; I notice he doesn?t wear a seat belt.
?You should wear a seat belt. It?s the law.? I say matter of factly.
His face expression says everything. He doesn?t need to say words to respond to my witty comments.
?Well thanks for driving me.? I say following him inside the school.
?No problem.? He says in almost a faint whisper.
I wonder why he?s so shy. He reminds me of a ghost. He?s always there but then he?s not. I can?t explain it but I feel him always around yet I can?t see him. We head our separate ways. The bell just rang I make it just in time to my first class, TV Production.

?Today I need two volunteers to go to Mrs.Kensey?s room to interview two students.?
I raise my hand up in a heartbeat. I know if I stay in the class Mr.Thyer will come up with some crazy assignment like write a report on mustard and how it is used in commercials.
He chooses Sara and myself. I?m so relieved. I go to the back room to grab a camera and walk out holding the camera like a baby (stupid classroom rule). Sara joins me holding a tri fold. As soon as we are out of the room she and I exchange glances like ?thank god we got out of whatever assignment he was going to give us!?
?So do you have the interview questions?? I ask Sara.
?Yep. Do you know where Mrs.Kensey?s room is?? She asks.
?Yeah I?m pretty sure it?s in the 400 buildings downstairs.? I answer back.
We make idle chitchat as we walk to the 400 building. As we reached the room Sara was in front of me. She stepped in first I followed after her.
?Hi Mrs.Kensey, where here to interview two students for the video journal of the junior class.? I said.
Mrs.Kensey asked her class who wanted to be interviewed. She has a funny way of picking people. Lots of people raised their hands yet she picked one girl who was talking and too busy to volunteer and someone who hadn?t raised their hand. As the boy who hadn?t raised his hand stood I quickly recognized who he was. It was Stephen. He didn?t meet my gaze. He just looked down at the grown as he walked out. He might not be the best person to interview, I secretly thought to
. I looked at Sara I could tell she thought the same. The girl who was a chatter bug was perfect to interview since this was a happy how was your year video type. As Sara and I followed Stephen and the Queen Bee out I whispered to her ?Let?s do the boy first so we can save the exciting one last.? She gave me an ok back. I know it was rude to say but Stephen didn?t look like a person who would want to be interviewed or had anything to say. After the cameras were all set up and we had the correct spot that had good lighting was chosen I stood to the side to ask the questions.
?Hi, Please state your name, grade, and age.?
?Stephen, 11th grade, 17 years old.?
?What by far was the best school activity you?ve attended??
The interview went on and on. He didn?t have much to say, mainly he responded in 1 or 2 words.
The next interview with the Queen Bee was more exciting. I found out her name was Lisa. I prefer to call her Queen Bee or chatter bug. This girl was preppy very hyper and talked with a high pitch ?I own the world? voice.

2:38
I decided to miss the bus. I unfortunately don?t have a car but I decided to go the library and catch a city bus later. I needed to return my library books and get some new ones. I didn?t see anyone in the library except the librarian.
?Back so soon? You were just here yesterday.? Mrs.Coach pointed out.
?Yep! I finished these two already. I wish we could check out more than two though.? I said.
?Well if it were up to me you could check out the whole darn library but the school board?s too cheap to buy enough books.?
I laughed.
I walked over to the P section and found ?Lullaby? as I reach out to grab it another hand reaches out on the opposite side. That hand grabs the book first. I move some books to see who they are. It?s Stephen. He gives me an uncomfortable look and motions if I want the book. I tell him ?It?s ok you can have it? and smile. He blushes; I?ve never seen a boy blush before, and walks off. I follow him to where he was sitting.
?Can I sit with you??
Silence.
?Is that a yes or no?? I ask with a smile. I?m trying to be polite.
?Yes.?
I take my book bag off and set it down on the side of the chair and sit down.
?Can I ask you a question??
?Okay.?
?How come you don?t talk much?? I ask with curiosity.
?Because I don?t need to.? He responds.
I?m dumbstruck.
?How so? I mean don?t you want people to know what you have to say?? I know I sound ignorant but I can?t stop picking.
?I don?t need to say anything because it isn?t needed. I don?t care what people think of me. Take you for instance, you are very social able and you talk a lot. If you didn?t talk all the time some people would have to guess by actions instead of words. Actions speak louder than words.? I was astounded by his remark.
I just blink at him as he watches my expression.
?You proved my point.? He says and gets up grabs his bag and leaves me to just stare directly ahead. After I snap back I grab my bag and sprint in the direction he left forgetting to get some new books to read.
I saw him walking into his car.
?WAIT!? I yell and run after him.
He stops and looks at me.
?Do I really talk that much?? D?oh! I think inside my head I meant to say something better but that?s just what came out.
He gave a little laugh and nodded.
?HEY!? I yelled and gave him a little punch in the arm.
He just looked at me with big blue eyes.
?I?m going to make it a point to follow you around and understand your actions and make you talk more!? I said so childishly.
After a minute of looking at each other, I looked at him with interest of what goes on in his head. He looked at me in a gaze and asked.
?Do you need a ride??
?No that?s ok I plan on riding the city bus where the bus driver wears a seat belt.? I smart mouthed him.
He gave me a funny look like ?shut up?.
?If I wear my seat belt do you want a ride??
?Sure.?
I got into his car and I watched him as he put on his seat belt.
We pulled out and then I asked again
?May I turn on the radio??
?Yes.?
Some crap song was playing on the radio station I had on before. I channel surfed until I found ?Butterfly? by CrazyTown playing. Just to see what he?d do I blasted the song.
He reached for the volume control I stopped his hand with mine. I could tell he blushed. He quickly moved his hand back.
?I have to get you a girlfriend.?
?That?s rude.?
?Sorry.? I said in embarrassment.
?Do you have a girlfriend?? I asked him.
?No.? He responded with a sigh.
?Why? Anyone you like?? I asked him. Pick, pick, pick I?m like a child playing in a garden full of flowers. I just keep picking deeper and deeper.
He thinks for a long moment then decides to say
?Yes I do.?
?Who? Anyone I know.? I continue picking like someone with a scab would do.
He doesn?t say a word.
I know my limit I don?t bring up the girlfriend thing again.
We arrive in front of my house. I can see Kyle waiting at the front of the steps holding a flower. It?s not a rose. It?s a Forget-me-not. I think it?s more special if he gets me a forget- me-not my favorite flower. I thank Stephen and ask him if he wants to meet Kyle. He says its ok and says he really has to get home. He takes off pretty quick.
I shrug it off.
?Hey!? I wave to him.
?Hey, I got you a flower.? He says.
Ah I just love him.
?I can see that.?
He bends over to kiss me. He?s a whopping 6 feet and I?m a sad little 5? 2?.
I move my cheek so he gives me a cheek kiss instead.
?What was that for? Did I forget anything important?? Gee, he?s so dumb.
?No.? I tease him.
?Then what??
?I missed the bus this morning because you woke me up at 3:59 am mister!? I pretend to be all mad and serious.
?I?m so sorry, I?ll make it up to you.? He gets down on his knees and starts worshiping me.
I lift his head and bend down to kiss him. This time he cheeks me.
?Stingy boy!? I yell at him.
I turn around and unlock the door. I almost close it in his face but he sticks his foot out to keep the door open. I turn around to look at him and he gives me a menacing grin. I lead him into my room and there he comes behind me and sweetly caressively kisses my neck.


6:30 A.M.
I find a body lying next to mine. I know nothing happened. He wouldn?t try and I wouldn?t let him. I fall back asleep holding on to the body next to mine. A loud snore arises. I giggle to myself.
7:00 A.M.
?Wake up.? I hear him whisper in my ear.
?I don?t want to.? I mumble out.
?Get up!? He says more loudly.
?Ugh fine!? I sluggishly walk to my closet and pull out my school uniform. I know it?s childish but I?m scared to go to where the bathroom is when it?s still dark outside and when no one is home.
?Turn around and don?t look.? I tell him.
He grins.
?I?m serious. Don?t look.?
He stuck out his tongue and mumbled, ?You take all the fun.?
I turned around slipped off my shirt and my skirt from the day before.
I felt a cold rush of wind pass the room. I jerked my body around to see what it was and I found Kyle opening my window.
?KYLE!? I yelled grabbing my shirt to cover my body.
He turned around noticed my body and looked down.
?What are you doing? Hello? I?m changing! AND TURN AROUND!? I yelled with fury.
Quickly he turned around and closed the window.
I went back to putting my new clothes on. When I turned back around I noticed he had turned around and was watching me.
?Pervert!? I yelled at him.
?I wasn?t looking until you just put your clothes on.? He said in defense.
?Yeah right. Your sick.? All my hot emotions got the best of me as I was yelling at this one man who I truly love.
?I?m sorry but I didn?t look.? He said quietly.
I stood there and looked at him. He met my gaze and just looked straight into my eyes. I could tell he wasn?t lying.
?Okay.? I said.
He stood up and walked over to my closet and pulled out his spare uniform he leaves at my house. He seems to be over at my house more than he is at his lately. I don?t understand why. If I had a great happy and together family like his I?d spend a lot of time with them.
?Turn around and don?t look.? He said imitating me.
?I think I deserve a look.? I said back joking.
?Whatever floats your boat?? He said and started unbuckling his belt.
As I was only kidding I turned around.
?Ok you can look now.? He said.
I turn around and my eyes can?t believe what is standing in front of me.
He stood wearing my clothes! I couldn?t believe he was wearing my school uniform skirt!
I laughed and laughed. After a while he told me to turn around.
The next time he told me to turn around he was in his clothes.