(99 Ways) Not to Mention the Sway of Her Hips?

[SimplyTurquoise]

(99 Ways) Not to mention the sway of her hips?

Disclaimer: Me. No. Own!

Warning: Miroku... nuff said!

**

She did it on purpose.

Really? there was no other reason for it.

Walking along the corridors, oblivious to the onlookers, she glided with ease. Her outfit as always modest, not even a fleck of dust marring the fabric. She was the epitome of perfection; the light seemed to shine upon only her gifting her with a sort of ethereal image.

Not to mention the sway of her hips?

He knew without doubt as he walked slightly behind her that today would be the day.

It had only been a week since he first met her, that pleasant smile upon her face as she greeted him. They said there was no such thing as ?love at first sight? but they had been proven wrong. As it was, he had fallen in love with numerous girls at first sight, but none as beautiful as this one.

He could recall clearly their first encounter, his reaction? er? more like habit. His hand had rested on the small of her back, guiding her forward, when all of a sudden without ever really meaning to? okay that was a lie. He meant to, but how could one resist?

With much ease and charm he distracted her with his irresistible smile and conversation. And as he took hold of her concentration his hand just sort of slipped down, resting on a very delectable looking derri?re. It was at that moment a stunned look came upon her beautiful face?

?and not to mention a gun barrel pointing directly in his face.

The owner of the offending weapon, Heero Yuy. A very annoying bodyguard who watched him a bit too closely for his liking.

Ah, but the price of love was worth it.

So as the week passed by, and the Heero Yuy returned time after time with the Miss Relena Peacecraft, Miroku bated his time. Although he could not venture with a hand over her soft curves, or brush a hand against one of her? well, that is to say he would never? he was a gentleman after all. A religious figure of this time, respected by many!

But that hadn?t stopped his roving eyes from taking in her delicate features, her petite form, and not to mention the sway of her hips?

It was all very innocent indeed.

So while the Heero Yuy huffed at his indecency and a glare every five seconds was shot his way, he continued to watch her gait.

The days almost always enjoyable as he took in the wonderful view, though his hand did twitch occasionally. And then too his up most astonishment, Relena Peacecraft, the woman he loved, showed up to his office as per usual, but without her ever-watchful Heero. They were alone, in his office, quite unattended, and?

A wicked grin broke onto his face. Before she could look up, he reverted the smile to his most seductive one. When she did happen to peer up at him her eyes widened a bit, a most curious expression on her face.

?Mr. Kazaana, are you all right? You look nauseous!?

He blanched, that wasn?t exactly the reaction he expected, but he quickly ignored it, too intent on his purpose.

?I?m fine.?

Her hand at that moment rose to touch his forehead, her mouth turning down in a frown.

?Well, you certainly don?t feel feverish.?

It was just the opportunity he was looking for, quickly grabbing her wrist and pulling her hands into his own, he moved a most stunned Relena forward. Positioning her only a few inches away from him, their interlocking hands the only barrier.

A small squeak escaped her mouth at the time, resembling the words ?Mr. Kazaana??

When he glanced down at her, a stern look took over her features as she looked up at him, somewhat angry at the new position, her mouth opened, a rush of words almost escaping, but he beat her to the punch.

?Relena, I must confess something of great importance to you.?

She looked for the most part still agitated, but her mouth shut and the look in her eyes clearly stated for him to continue on.

?I have for the past week, for sometime actually been feeling a sort of bond between us. From day one I knew I was in love, had it not been for your bodyguard I?m certain I would?ve confessed to you right then. But I was unsure of your affections and as the days passed and the week progressed it became all to clear to me that you must feel the same.?

He was certain of it, the way she gracefully moved, knowing all too well that his eye roamed about her figure, she was teasing him. And that could only mean one thing. She too was in love with him as well!

?That is why, as I finally find you now alone with myself that I must ask you a most important question.?

?Mr. Kazaana I-?

?Will you bear me-?

Whoops. Wrong line.

?That is? will you marry me??

?But Mr. Kazaana, I?m already married.?

Oh?

That was indeed a problem.

?Well? that certainly doesn?t mean we can?t be-?

?Lovers? I quite agree!?

Ah, so she wanted to have an affair. Though slightly disappointed at not having her as his own, it did indeed have some perks. The only problem being-

-the gun pointing once again at his head?

Hmm? he could have sworn they were alone.

Glaring at him, as was the usual look on Heero Yuy?s face when in the same company, he watched as Heero slowly pulled the safety off.

?I suggest you let go of her.?

And with that simple command, his hands dropped away from her own, and his feet scuttled back leaving a lovely gap of ten feet between the beautiful Mrs. Relena Peacecraft and himself.

But before Heero could say anything more to him, he quickly glanced over to Relena a question quickly passing his lips as he gazed at her.

?Then why is your name???

?Peacecraft? Well, we had it changed to Relena Peacecraft-Darlian-Yuy. A bit too long, so most people just call me by Relena Peacecraft.?

Yuy?

Did that mean? glancing to his left, his curious gaze landed on Heero Yuy. Not only bodyguard but apparently husband as well. He blanched for the second time this morning wondering who in the world would want to marry such a trigger-happy person.

Especially when she could have someone like... oh... just maybe... Miroku!

?But why did you marry? him??

His nose, he knew, was scrunched up, as if Heero had a pungent smell as he looked on him.

?Well, I wasn?t going to at first??

At that comment, Heero?s glare left Miroku, surprise written all over his features as he looked at Relena.

??I was in love with him yes, but he just didn?t seem to feel the same for me. That is, my mind did change after he proposed. We had been yet again attacked by terrorists, trying to ransom me for money I believe. They had brought me to this old mansion in a remote area in the desert, devoid of much life, as I??

This continued on for some time, lasting? glancing at the clock, a total of ten minutes.

??and after we found a safe spot, fearful for our own lives, unsure if we had truly escaped them. Heero had got down on bended knee, grasping my hand in his own. That?s when he professed his love for me, in the end asking me to marry him. I remember the exact words:

?Relena, I?ve loved you?blah blah blah? blah? blah blah??

Miroku was having a hard time concentrating on her words, Heero?s proposal a bit long winded and boring for his taste.

??if we do make it out of this alive, would you do me the honor of marrying me??

And of course I said ?yes?, who wouldn?t after such a romantic proposal??

He sighed as her speech came to an end, alas yet another girl forever forbidden to him.

By this point, rationalization kicked in and a new thought struck him?

His glance turned from astonishment to sorrowful as he looked on Relena.

It was so obvious now. Though she was deeply in love with him, she was trapped in the binds of marriage to Heero. A man who kept his ever-watchful eyes on her, therefore leaving no opportunity for Relena to ever act on her bodies wishes. He truly felt sorry for her?

During his reverie, unaware of the rest of the events in his room, Heero attempted to murder him as his attention was once again centered on him, Relena saving him by somehow pulling Heero out of the room, leaving a pre-occupied Miroku with his thoughts.

As Miroku left his office that night, saddened by the loss of his love, he happened to glance upon another of the secretaries in his office. He could just recall her name, a Miss Dorothy Catalonia?

Watching her lovely backside, it occurred to him then?

He was in love.

**

Authors Note: I don?t know if this meets the requirements of the contest, but I think I like this one much more than my other! I mean, I added the part of how Heero proposed to her because someone mentioned that she had to say ?yes? so there you go! Oh, and please review!!!

Thanks!

MBF~ I must mention that Miroku has been known to fall in love with woman if only for their lovely backside... however ugly their face might be, which I don't think Dorothy is actually ugly *eyebrows* but in this case Miroku goes after anything that is relatively female and can walk!

[ice princess]

HOLY BLESSED JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST PIECE OF FANFIC GENIOUS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY PIECE OF CRAP, I"M STILL LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS PURE GENIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who else would have thought of that masterpiece?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? Holy cow....HOLY COW!!! That was SO DAMN FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I *really* liked it...can you tell?

~ice princess

[ice princess]

And for the record, if we peons got to vote on stories for this challenge, I enthusiastically give this brilliant work every vote I've got!!!!!

~ice princess

[Melville's Best Friend]

Okay, one: That was really well written, and well thought out, and I loved it!!! ^__^

Okay, two: HOW COULD ANYONE BE IN LOVE WITH DOROTHY?!?!?!!?
*gag reflex attacks her*

Ryan: Now, hold on just a second...

MBF: *THWACK* You shut up.

Ryan: @__@

Okay...so...

That was very clever and cute, and I hope to see more of...And I realize I'm leaving...*sigh* Well, you send me new stuff when you have it, yes?

You will?

Great!

In return, I shall aid you in the mastication (I'm sorry; not the word I meant...It's just fun to say...I would never chew on anyone....*thinks* actually...where's Heero....) I mean...humiliation of your brother.

So.

We have a deal?

Good, 'cause you make me feel good times. ^____^

[fubberr]

LOL..HOLY SHIZZANICKERS!

That was HILARIOUS!

THAT WAS BRILLIANT!

HAHA..I DONT WHAT ELSE TO SAY!. FOR ONCE YOU SHUT ME UP! :D:D:D:D:D

HAPPY!@!! WOWOWOWWOWOOWOWOWWOOWOWOWWWWWWWOWOWowOWWWWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

i better get outta here before i explode!!!!

GREAT FIC MY FRIEND!

fubber~!

[Elyn Yuy]

*BOOOM!*

@___@ Beat you to it Fubberr.

Can't say any more than what others have already! Durn it

Keep it up! Write more comedies!

Elyn Yuy

[Gundam Girl]

Good job. Wheeee! Gotta love that Houshi-sama

[Calla Lily]

Silly Miroku... Great job, BTW! Aww, I just love Miroku!

[Wingnut]

Even in other anime that monk is still a hentai.
Serves him right though, hitting on a married woman.
I'd imagine that Dorothy will have some fun tormenting Miroku before she tells him to get lost.

[blackrose]

OMG!

*dies*

This is GREAT! *snicker snicker* Thank you sooo much!!!

Relena: I wasn't going to...
Heero: O_O;;;