Lust's Dew that Cries Out to the Ocean

Tomorrow · Post by **Tomorrow** » Thu Jun 06, 2002 4:55 pm

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<TITLE>AN: Warning, angst, sadness, a lot of cool things about Heero and Relena that you didn't know... that I didn't know. ?For all of you that didn't understand this, my outlining the flashbacks for you should make comprehension easier. ?I see where you're coming from. ?Sorry about the confusion. ?Please re-review if you've done so before, telling me if it's now easier to understand, and if you didn't review before, then reivew now. ?^_^ ?Please tell me what you think. ?Thanks</TITLE>
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<H4>AN: Warning, angst, sadness, a lot of cool things about Heero and Relena that you didn't know... that I didn't know. ?For all of you that didn't understand this, my outlining the flashbacks for you should make comprehension easier. ?I see where you're coming from. ?Sorry about the confusion.?</H4>
<H4>~*~*~* means the current story or a return to the current story or a break
in time in the current story, and any other variation of that means a
different plotline/flashback.</H4>
<H4>Please re-review if you've done so before, telling me if it's now easier to understand, and if you didn't review before, then
review now. ?^_^? Please tell me what you think. ?Thanks</H4>

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, the song "The Best for Last," or "Good-night My Angel Now."

??? "I'm sure we'll be happy together, darling," a young man of 25 said as he showed Relena to the door, an inner-sense of satisfaction coming over his fa?ade as he took into account how fortunate he had become with striking such a match. ?

??? He was very tall, about 6'5", and his hair was neatly trimmed and flaming red as pools of omnipotent fires, always an unknowing smile flashing along his features as he drank in the magnificence of the princess's now comely shape. ?It is true that he always treated her in appropriate demeanor, escorting her to congregational balls, taking her to eloquent scenery that she may find peace in her surroundings--or perhaps that he may ogle amongst the beauty of nature's resplendence of seasons the radiance which she possessed that seduced him as no other woman could--, and see her safely to her chambers at decent hour. ?However, something, though she could never quite come to a consensus with her feelings on what that "something" was, just didn't seem right about him... or she spending the rest of her being on Earth in those future years of to-be memories and familiar ecstasy which only a husband and beloved can share in confidence. ?
??? Oh how her heart would ache and stomach heave as she thought about him playing with her as he deemed passionate and lustful as he claimed for his own the one thing that no other could quite give him... her virginity. ?She had been saving herself for one person and one person alone, and to think that all of her conservative attire and chastity of endowment--not even kissing a man who thought her gorgeous and wanting to lead her into his world of avaricious desires--made waters that were clearly associated with the sparkle of her essence, her individual song, adorn the corners of her irises that held within them such yearning for the one.??
??? In her mind, she had already imagined their bodies entwining, the horrid Damian ripping from her skin the only garments that could shield her from his hunger of perverse intimacy, his lips, moist from the licking of his tongue against them in untamable wont for her flesh and mounds of purity, bruising her callow satin along her neck as he sucked her flesh with tenacity, seeming to memorize every taste, every luscious flavor that was she--thinking in his mind how many equivocal fantasies he could endure upon this immaculate virgin, for her innocence was taken away through his heat, but not by her own will. ?Rape, how this cupidity seemed so illustrious in his mind... she was sure.

??? *At least I know he thinks me of some value, even if it only sensual,* she thought to herself as she entered her room, just wanting to take off her dress and fall into her dreams. ?Once there, she was scrutinized by Damian's eyes of perfidy no more, and she could finally walk in bliss with the one that she really longed to lie next to as the sun woke in the aurora, sprinkling upon their bodies a glitter of life, clean devotion, and admirable splendor.

??? Changing into her nightgown, she slid under the covers in silence and fell into deep slumber, hoping that tonight perhaps she could dream of him, her knight in armor as they rode into dusk upon a mare of blessed white--staring into each other's eyes for an eternity, knowing that the other will never let him or her go. ?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? *I can't believe it's only 3:00am,* Relena thought as she turned to the clock. ?She had woken up about an hour before and had been trying in futile struggle to fall back asleep, but to no avail... it looks like she would have yet another night without adequate rest; and she had a crucial meeting tomorrow, the one in which she had to make the introductory discourse. ?

??? Hoping a walk in the eve would tire her--ready her for bed once more--, she rose up from the sheets and descended the stairwell, not one person in the entire manner even alert to her escape, and stepped out into the warm scent of the darkness, not even bothering to conceal herself more appropriately for this nightly excursion as she did so.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? "How did I get here?" she spoke into the twilight as she recognized the fatal desolation in which she was now set. ?

??? The beach, the beach where she found him was completely encompassing her fragility now, and in the distance she could make out the majesty of the waves as they crashed along the shore in commanding animosity, their thunderous cries singing to her allure as she walked aimlessly toward the waters. ?It truly was a question of how she came to be on this forsaken hide away, for she remembered leaving her doorstep, but after that it was all a blur, as if time had ceased and a magical wind of deceitful valor carried her beyond the lands and to the place where her heart remained a hostage since that day... that day she saw him lying stiff upon the grains. ?

??? Finding her way to the ocean's edge, she knelt down with elegance of grace in the sand, a perfect scene of artistic render being depicted before us, fellow readers. The moon, the crowning halo of God's divine sovereignty over the harrow in pernicious hostility, cast a gentle glow upon this tranquil desert; the soft blue of the sky being captured within the waterfall of crystal luminescence that was this tiara, almost a dawning of hope overshadowing this region of memorial despair and burden.


Sometimes the snow comes down in June,

Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon.



??? The sand that spread itself with a balance of consonance, making the wharf an endless tundra of shallow grain, held within each mineral a story of human tragedy untold by the word of man, looking with breathless study of diamond-sifted mantle--the moon's shine in eminence possessing a power of blinding trait over the fluid ground between her finger tips. ?As the tide swallowed her toes, her feet, then her ankles, about her it elicited a haze--a cage of iridescent rainbows that spread with a blush's swell of eloquence into the eve--along with the foam iced by ambrosia in swan's feather masquerade serenading her with a nocturne of grotesque play--its haunting a lullaby of shadow intent.


I see the passion in your eyes,

Sometimes is all a big surprise.

??? Relena, her hair grown long--more silky and of bewitching elegance--, knelt still in the sand, the wind gnawing at her salient touches--those being many in only her nightgown--, and her face being adorned with tears of lost year, of a fate that was held in the hands of another... one who would never see her as a love of his need. Her dress was billowing in the gales, it the same turquoise as her eyes, bringing to surface the maiden flush about her cheeks--the heat allowing the mist to melt down her face and onto her breasts--, doves encrusted in glistening wonder along the linen with bow in back to hold the garment to her tiny frame--the ribbon becoming undone, free as winged creature as the wind released it from tense bondage. ?The fabric perfuming the air and her tresses entangling around her frame, she was a fairy, a transient sprite that lay haste to her dreams for only one night, but from the mortal world she must retreat when the sun begins to rise, for she is a daughter of the stars, adding only what little gleam she can to our world before perishing by strength of another... the dawn.

??? Kneeling there, being engrossed in the night's temptation, she began to feel as though she was not alone, for fate--that night--was to play a cruel trick on her, whether it be the truth of her destiny or the demise of a hope. ?
??? Turning her face to the right, she saw a man, in repose among the sand, seeming lost and alone. ?She goes to him, the wind giving her the courage--pushing her forth--, and takes his head into her lap, immediately recognizing the face of this weary boy whose nightmares haunt his conscience, leading him to a life of loneliness... of hatred.


'Cause there was a time when all I did was wish,

You'd tell me this was love. ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

??? "Relena, what are you doing here?" Heero called to the lady that approached him from the surrounding darkness, with such a desperate soul, her eyes showing a broken heart... a broken angel. ?
??? She halted before him, only inches away, and replied--only hurt in her voice--, "Heero, I have come to give you the only thing I have left."

??? Holding for him to see, she brought the glass vase up to her lips, the brilliance of designs and perceptible decorations welded within the translucent jewel shimmering against the tenderness of her irises. ?Closing her eyes and looking down, a stream of transparent pendants of dew--otherwise known as tears--glided down her cheeks, falling from after cupping her chin into the glass, hitting the bottom with an almost silent drip. ?
??? Soon, it was about halfway filled with her tears, the anguish of an unspoken love; and as she looked up at him--her waters making paths along her blushing skin, chapped from crying--the drops froze in mid-stride, falling into the vase now little flurries of snow, each one so unique, so searing, showing every single and diverse pang to her heart strings she ever suffered on his behalf. ?And upon the melting of the palpable ice into the bitterness, they blended and became one in union, blossoming from the container a dove, white as a blessing of timid unicorn--the beak showing the crystal of their horns--, and took with its wings into flight, trying to flee from this atmosphere of reminiscence.


It's not the way I hoped or how I planned,

But somehow it's enough.



??? Her eyes conveying nothing but fear, she grabbed his wrist, blood now seeping through and staining her virtue, and he not even aware of this slash to his nerves. As the blood drips unto to floor, from this crimson puddle awakens a robin, the red on its breast being the permanent blemish of scarlet, and in a stride ten-fold of the former bird, it grasps the heavenly symbol in its talons, squeezing from it, crushing all the life out of the softness... it falling to the floor dead.

??? Terror-stricken, Heero gasped up to Relena--searching for answers--, the bile rising in his throat as he gazed upon her, now frozen in a shell of ice... frozen in the waters of her own tears. ?On the ground rolls the bottle--unbroken, not even a chip--, but the tears, the snowflakes, are completely missing, leaving him to watch her forever, alone, in the darkness...


And now we're standing face to face,

Isn't this world a crazy place?



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? "Heero, wake up!? Wake up Heero," he heard the sweet chiding in his ear as he awoke from this horrific premonition, his head resting on the pillowed bosom of an angel, the angel that so greeted him every night in his mind--taunting him about his loss at love.


Just when I thought our chance had passed,

You go and save the best for last.

??? Startled, but then his countenance becoming slack once more, he hoisted himself from his recline, turning away from her saying, "Go away, just leave me alone tonight."

??? "Wha... I don't understand Heero. ?Why would you..."

??? "Just get away from me!" he interrupted her as the rage was enflamed about his heart, wanting nothing to do with this apparition that tortured, reminded him of the girl he loved. ?Every time he went to touch her--this recurrent ghost--with ginger warmth before, or caress her as a candle's fire to the wick, the specter would always disappear, leaving him with a heavy heart once more. ?"Haven't I suffered enough without your constant stalking me?"


All of those nights you came to me,

When some silly boy had set you free.

??? "I admit that I may have been a lovesick puppy before, but I was young and foolish then, I didn't know how to suppress my feelings as I do now. ?Please, just let me sit beside you," she murmured, tears coming to her eyes as the coldness of his tone rekindled the hopeless aching in her chest.

??? "No, I've complied to that one too many times before. I know your game. ?Once I become at ease, you'll leave me wondering, doomed to myself. ?Not this time ghost... not this time," his voice shrank as he uttered his words.

??? "Oh Heero, you never used to be so emotional, what's happened to you?" she questioned out-loud, but meaning it only to be an intrinsic question for herself.

??? "She made me feel again, what I worked so hard to obliterate from my senses she revived! ?When Mariemaia, that ungrateful, conniving brat took her from me, I had never been so frightened in my entire life. ?I was afraid, I, the one who is always calm and cool, was almost useless in her rescue because of my worry! ?And then, when I finally understand what everything has come to be, I screw up, I completely..." he gasped--choking on his voice--, not being able to finish. ?

??? "But how do you know that she's," Relena pungent on her words as she went on, "she's the one that was meant for you? ?Perhaps this was God's way of saying..."

??? "Because!" he blurted out, interrupting her again. ?"My mother, she knew, she knew and she even told me how I'd know. ?She was right, and I just ignored everything... how could I?" he asked, remembering that day at the hospital after Relena had fondled him in her arms with such ginger concern, remembering what he heard that day while he was supposedly deep in sleep.


'Cause how could you give your love to someone else,

And share your dreams with me?

~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&

??? "Please Heero, please come back to me... I need you Heero," he heard a familiar voice sob as he drifted in and out of consciousness, the worry and pain in her tone making it even more difficult for him to breathe. ?

??? "Goodnight, my angel, time to close your eyes," she sang in beautiful requiem of elegy. ?"And save these questions for another day. ?I think I know what you've been asking me," her beautiful soprano register adding a striking descant to the melody. "I think you know what I've been trying to say. ?I promised I would never leave you. And you should always know--wherever you may go, no matter where you are, I never will be far away." ?

??? The first verse of this chanting lullaby made him fall deeper into the recesses of his mind, wanting to listen to her cantor for him always. ?

??? "Goodnight, my angel now it's time to sleep, and still so many things I want to say. Remember all the songs you sang for me, when we went sailing on an emerald bay. And like a boat out on the ocean, I'm rocking you to sleep, the water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart you'll always be part of me." ?

??? Any patient, any person that found themselves fortunate or unfortunate enough to be in that hospital heard her sweet voice, and were all brought to calm, all brought to peace by her words of truth and hope. ?

??? "Goodnight, my angel now it's time to dream. ?And dream how wonderful your life will be. ?Someday your child may cry and if you sing this lullaby, then in your heart there will always be a part of me." ?Squeezing Heero's hand and sobbing once more before continuing with the final stanza, "Someday we'll all be gone, but lullabies go on and on--they never die. ?That's how you and I will be."

??? For the first time, he knew that she was his, forever and always; she was the one chosen for him before his birth... his mother never lied.


Sometimes the very thing you're looking for,

Is the one thing you can't see.



~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$~$

??? A young woman, about 18 years old, doggedly stumbles along the sidewalk, she so weak and tired she feels as though she would collapse if not given a place to rest soon. ?She finds herself in front of palace gates, a woman with long blonde hair, white as the fresh snow of a blizzard, stands behind them, waltzing around the entrance way shushing her baby girl to sleep. ?The exhausted lady, she being adorned with short, chocolate-hued tendrils and puppy-brown eyes--holding the same sadness and sympathetic gaze as this animal--meekly glances at the proud woman, the queen evidently by her dress, a smile pulling at her lips in remembering how wonderful it felt rocking her little boy to sleep. ?

??? The queen looks up from her infant, looking through the gates and seeing this poor girl, thin and frail from endless journey, rushes over to the bars, wailing, "Oh please dear, you look so weary!? Come and sit with me!"

??? The gates opening, the woman drags herself into the safety of the walls and sits on the bench that proceeds the courtyard, the mistress sitting down next to her, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ?

??? "Would you like something to eat or drink sweetheart?" the Lady asks to the peasant woman, concerned for her condition.

??? "No, your hospitality now has been enough for me. ?May I inquire about the child m'queen?" the soiled girl asks, striking conversation and smiling at the babe adoringly.

??? "She's my daughter, and she seems to like your locket, Dear," she replies as the baby princess twists the locket between her tiny fingers, somehow opening the pendant and pressing the picture of the toddler boy against her cheek... could she be blushing?

??? "Yes, I must agree, and I have never met a child so beautiful as she. ?You are blessed majesty," she says, staring off into the distance, taking an affection this baby more and more as she plays with the necklace.

??? "Is that your son?" the queen inquires boldly about the picture in the locket, hoping she wasn't being too forward with this obviously distressed young woman.

??? "Oh yes, my only one, and he is my pride and joy. ?We have to travel a lot, due to his father's occupation, but it seems to me as if she has a fancy for him."

??? "I'm sorry about the traveling. ?It must be difficult to never have the advantage of becoming acquainted with others and make associates. ?But I must say he's awfully handsome... perhaps they'll marry someday," the queen mocks wistfully, both of them giggling at the suggestion.

??? "Yes, perhaps." ?

??? By this time, the infant strips the necklace from around the woman's neck and holds it close to her heart, not wanting to let it go or return it, acting as if it was a part of her or something of even more importance than such.

??? "Oh no darling, you have to give that back to..."

??? "No, let her keep it... I think it means more to her than it does to me," the peasant says, stroking the child's head. ?As the little girl snuggles into her mother's breasts, this ragged woman begins to sing her a lullaby, one that she shared with only one other in the world.

??? "Goodnight, my angel, time to close your eyes. ?And save these questions for another day..."

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

??? "Little Adin, since OZ killed your father, they now want you instead, and I can't help you... Remember that I love you with all of my heart, and we will be together someday," the mother said to her boy as the clangor of boots could be heard in the distance. ?
??? The babe reached for his mom's neck, wanting to look at his picture in the locket, when she continued to go on and say, "I gave it away, my Darling, to a baby girl... she knows our lullaby, the one about the angels. ?Find her someday, and she is yours... she will be your love from now on Adin. ?
??? "Someday we'll all be gone, but lullabies go on and on--they never die..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

??? Relena sat there, thinking about his tale as she gripped something in her hand with all of her might, all of her love that her hand turned pale from the loss of circulation. Taking a few moments to reflect, she whispered, "If you don't want me, then you deserve to have this back."


And now we're standing face to face,

Isn't this world a crazy place?

??? In his hand she placed a singed, mutilated locket, only a little bit of the chain remaining... the rest being charred and lost so long ago.


Just when I thought our chance had passed,

You go and save the best for last.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

??? "Relena, I know that there's something your father didn't tell you about, and with good reason, but I think it's time now that you knew the truth," Mrs. Darlian told her adopted daughter after she came back from the terrorist attack that claimed her "father's" life. ?
??? She slowly walked over to the young girl, opening her hand and placing in it the indistinguishable charm of a locket, anyone could see that it was at one time lustrous and beautiful, a treasure which even royalty would envy. ?"When your mother, your real mother, the queen, was dying after your kingdom's destruction, she made me vow to keep this in safe, saying that it was important that you always keep it near your heart; and it was the last thing she could do for you. ?Of course I agreed, and it's been locked away in my jewelry box ever since; but now that you know, I think you should hold onto it... as your mother would have wanted," she said, her voice cracking a little. ?

??? From that day until now, Relena always kept it near her heart, every morning she was sure to tuck it within her bust that she wouldn't lose it, and it always seemed to burn through her, pierce her soul, pierce her mind that she would remember what it symbolized, what significance it could have on her fate...


Sometimes the very thing you're looking for,

Is the one thing you can't see.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? "I already knew that she was the one, when I heard her sing our lullaby at the hospital. ?But, why do you torture me ghost! ?You even have proof so you can screw with my mind. ?Just go away!" he screamed, backhanding her to the sand. ?

??? She fell to the ground, having no chance against his brute force, and as she landed, her head hit against a stone, the only rock which hid itself upon the beach--like a rose's thorns... the beauty conceals its danger. ?Then, on that warm summer's eve, over the land blanketed with golden capes of a luminous circle of life, revived in spring but thriving in the heat of the sun, snowflakes began to fall upon the Earth--in mere instants putting a coating of shrouded stallion's mane over the terrain--, what was once being described as mere diamonds turned into a concave dome of silk and crystals--worth its weight in much more than diamonds.


Sometimes the snow comes down in June,

??? Blood began to pour from her temples, staining the sand with its darkened shade and making a collage of scarlet around her body, contrasting her fair skin. ?The snow, with its gradual yet healing touch, tried to occult this pond of life with its pure flakes of white and normally fatal touch, but it seemed to only pull her into an ever deeper world of slumber. Heero looked at his hand, his mind trying to come to the realization of what he had just done. ?That was no specter... he could touch it, which means...

??? "Relena!" he cried out in disbelief, cradling her in his embrace and praying with all the faith in him that she live and be all right. ?

??? Drowsily she opened her eyes, her hand resting upon his cheek--looking upon him with all of the love that a single soul could muster, if not more--, and whispered, "Don't cry for me Heero, I'll be fine, I'm just a little tired now..." and she drifted into sleep at the thought of awakening to his face at dawn, an eternal sleep of which never again would she wake up for this world. Never again would she see the sunrise, never again would she see the gradual turn of summer into fall, and never again would she be forced to live a life of pain and misery; for soon her love would be with her, and she could finally claim bliss.


Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon.

??? His hands shaking--his whole being shaking with tears cascading down his face from the insurrection his doubt had caused... betraying not only his fair mother, but Relena... the woman he loved and could never hold again--, Heero rose to his feet, wandering without life within him around the beach in hope of finding relief from this pain, this agony which he was so feeling, and walked straight into the ocean waters, his head becoming engulfed in the sea and never reemerging from its depths. ?This tender powder would eventually put even a glaze of frost over the vast ocean, showing the depletion of a life.


Just when I thought our chance had passed,

??? As the light of the coming dawn touched the horizon, making a beautiful pastel of needed warmth and bathing glory, a little dog walked along the beach, sniffing along the shoreline for anything of which he could choke down for a meal--the wet snow against his paws making him shutter and quake with uneasiness. ?Upon reaching the right half of the sands now iced with a layer of purity and dunes or drifts, his paw stumbled over a small, golden locket, or what used to be a locket. ?Being so hungry, so malnourished and deprived of food--cold and starving--, the animal crushed the metal between his teeth and swallowed, content with this gross, yet satisfying morsel. But, after only a few steps more, looking straight at Relena, who was lying lifeless upon the dulled crystals of sand and immaculate transparency, the puppy keeled over, dead.

??? Whether the dog died from the ingestion of the necklace or of its ominous past it was never known, for by the time another person sauntered along that beach, the dog had been washed away into the ocean, trapped beneath an under-toe where the sun never shined, never melted the ice, his body never found...


You go and save the best for last.



AN: Ohhh, horrible ending... angst, romance... sort of. ?Weird huh? ?I hope you liked this, and I saw it better in my head than it came out on paper I think, I don't know. You guys tell me. ?Thanks.

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[ This Message was edited by: Tomorrow on 2002-06-06 18:02 ]

RDP · Post by **RDP** » Sat Aug 09, 2003 8:11 pm

Oh my gosh...Heartstopping angst. I can't describe...such sorrow!

You are such a wonderful writer, Tomorrow.

fubberr · Post by **fubberr** » Sat Aug 09, 2003 11:03 pm

Ahh!!!.AHH!!! AHH!!!!

*Sigh*, Acutally i needed that.

I'm getting to too happy, i need some ANGST!

Nice fic, loved it even tho i'm crying my eyes out..ah... lalala..

Great Fic Tomorrow!

fubberr..

SimplyTurquoise · Post by **SimplyTurquoise** » Sun Aug 10, 2003 10:01 pm

It's nice to have an ending like these sometimes...

Happy endings are overrated anyways!

Er... yea!

Morrighan · Post by **Morrighan** » Mon Aug 11, 2003 12:29 pm

*teary-eyed* That was so beautiful!! I could totally feel the emotion behind it!

Great job, and as eloquent as always!!

darky · Post by **darky** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:12 pm

Great fic. These are the kinds of fics I like the most. Angst --for me-- is a much stronger feeling than happiness. This fic was beautiful, amazing how our sadness can make us loose consciousness of reality. That was so sad, but beautiful.

Darky

Blissful Ignorance

A Heero and Relena Dedication site

Lust's Dew that Cries Out to the Ocean

Tomorrow's Fanfiction.