False Engagements 6: My Lips are Sealed

[Kysra]

The circus . . .

<center>False Engagements: My Lips are Sealed
by Kysra</center>

Warnings: I think there is one cuss word in here.....and a LITTLE sexual innuendo. Nothing major, just a lot of fawning over Trowa?s chest *drools*

It was a new experience.

The bright colored canvas blocked the glaring sunlight while filtering it to produce a dim illumination by which to see and a bright circle of spotlight sat in the center of the middle ring upon the ground, a pleasing vision to the eye which had never beheld such surroundings. The smell of fresh hay and animal hung lightly in the air, reminding her of origins and nature, bringing memories of times long past when she was young and innocent and so full of life and adventure. The anxious collective murmuring of children and adults alike lulled her senses to a comfortable daze-like awareness, her eyes taking in every detail of this event, her ears open to every minute nuance of sound, and her nose picking up as many smells as she could catalog in her mind.

Then it began . . .

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to the most entertaining show on Earth and the Colonies!"

Relena applauded emphatically along with the large crowd packed into the limited space of the circus tent, a large delighted grin brightening her already cheerful features as whistles and yells streamed from the people around her. Excitement zinged through her veins at the thought of her very first circus experience.

Trowa was an added bonus.

As the enthusiastic roaring of the audience died down and the ringmaster began to speak a little about the rules of conduct and what have you, Relena's mind drifted to wonder at Milliardo's allowance of her trip to this place.

Ok, admittedly she and Lucrezia had conveniently left this part out of the game plan when they had initially requested permission for Relena to attend Quatre's informal dinner party at his L4 estate. And it was true they had somehow forgotten to tell him that only Heero would be accompanying her to said dinner party instead of her usual entourage of assorted bodyguards.

The sneakiness and somewhat forbidden feel of this operation only succeeded in magnifying the decidedly self-satisfying factor of the whole affair. She felt independent and free for once, without care or inhibition. She could fly and no one was there to clip her wings. Her smile widened even farther at the thought.

Of course, she would have been much more content had she been able to come totally alone, however, having Heero around to watch over her still bore the same effect his shadowy brand of guardianship had always held: She felt safe and protected, secure. Despite that feeling of security, the romantic feelings she had once harbored for the silent, mysterious man had faded as she realized that the extreme circumstances in which they had met called for an extreme emotion. With the calming of existence and the birth of peace, she had settled and the need for the earth shattering passion she had developed for Heero died. Reason had revealed the truth: She had needed that passion to drive her on, created love-filled fantasies that gave her a purpose and masked her from the grim reality of her future.

No. Reality, for her, was far from her dreams of the perfect love and the quiet, homely life she had wished to live, her childish hopes of a normal future killed with the placement of a dead crown atop her head. Reality was paperwork and endless meetings with old men who looked down upon her, blaming her gender and age for their mistrustful ways. Reality was staying up into the wee hours of the morning going over the newest peace treaty between L1 and L3 when you had to get up in 2 hours to catch a space transport to oversee building preparations for a new colony. Reality was never seeing your friends because a horde of men were after your money and power, holding you hostage in your own home. Reality gave her the knowledge of a woman twice her age, and showed her that Heero Yuy, the man she had thought herself madly and irrevocably in love with, was just a friend and nothing more. Reality . . . ha . . . Reality was, she didn't have time for love.

So why was she here, at this circus which Trowa had practically ordered her to attend?

She had no idea, but she did know that Heero was right behind her. She could feel his eyes burning into her back, daring her to look up and find him; and she was damned sure NOT going to give him the pleasure.

Relena sighed. Heero was so lost, even more so than herself. She wished he would take his own advice and just tell his secret love of his true feelings. Sometimes she was so tempted to just call her and spill the beans, but she couldn't. She wasn't in much better shape in the love department, probably worse, and she had promised not to breathe a word to the lucky girl. After all, if he told, she would be obliged to tell all of her would-be suitors to take a hike like she frequently wished she could do without a scandal breaking out. Sometimes life just didn't provide the proper materials for desired projects.

Straightening in her seat, the blonde settled in for the show as the ringmaster ended his spiel, introducing the first act. The clowns.

They rode into the Big Top on tricycles, unicycles, and miniature motorcars, dressed in bright, clashing colors with their faces painted even brighter. A few of the silly looking people jumped off of their vehicles to do crazy acrobatic leaps and comical falls, interacting with the audience when the most outrageously dressed of all singled her out.

She was in the fourth row, sitting between two large groups of children, one of three adults occupying that particular bench, and when she realized that she was the clown?s selected target, she wanted to shrink inside herself. After all, she had gone there to get away from the attention being lavished on her lately.

And so she watched him come, staggering up the steps to her bench, one gloved hand motioning for her to stand and meet him halfway. She complied, reluctantly standing and edging her way to where he stood beside the old lady whom was chaperoning the first group of children.

As she moved toward the tall clown, she instinctively knew it wasn't Trowa. She couldn't see the man's features clearly under the thick white, red, and black makeup, nor his hair beneath the rainbow colored curly wig and worn top hat, but she knew somehow that it wasn't him. She felt no unease, but there was a lurking disappointment that she wasn't ready to acknowledge.

Silently, Clown held out a hand to her but when she raised her hand to take his (as she thought he wanted), he would gently slap it down again. He did this repeatedly, drawing giggles from the children and embarrassed chuckles from the adults, and Relena realized, too late, that she was in the center of a spotlight!

Suddenly, another clown was beside them, playing a rather horrible sounding number on a toy accordion, and she found herself unceremoniously pulled into a clumsy waltz which saw her toes stepped on quite a few times by oversized, fire-engine red clown shoes. As the . . . song ended, Clown twirled her around till she was dizzy, and when she had gained her balance once more, ready to give him a piece of her mind in front of the amused crowd, the clown brought his hand down on her head.

Wincing, Relena opened her mouth to diplomatically tell this uppity clown where he could take himself when she something cold and yellow plopped down on her nose.

Relena started, blinking rabidly. Egg yolk? She ran one hand over her head, her nose catching a whiff of something rotten.

Clown smirked as the laughter intensified, his hand coming up to untie the scarf she had arranged around her throat, the cool silk whispering across her skin as he pulled it from her and tucked it in once pocket.

She stood there stupidly, face red, as the audience cheered and the clowns made their exit until a slight tugging sensation forced her to come back to her senses. Looking down, she saw a little boy laughing gaily at her confused, bewildered, and angry expression while the little girl next to him giggled under a pinched nose.

Relena found herself smiling in spite of herself, her eyes shifting upward as she coolly wiped her egged hands on her jeans before sitting on the edge of the bench next to the children. The two rambunctious tots immediately bombarded her with questions.

"Wow, that was cool, wasn't it Miss? Is that guy your boyfriend?" the little girl asked brightly, hand still covering her nose as she leaned a little away from Relena.

?No, he?s not,? Relena smiled.

"I thought clowns were supposed to spray people with water?" This from the little boy. He looked somewhat disappointed.

?I would have preferred it if he had.? Anything was better than having a rotten egg cracked over one?s head.

"You're really pretty! What's your name?"

?Thank you. You can call me Lena.?

?Oh, that?s pretty! I?m Rosie and this is my big brother Chris. We?re orphans.?

Relena?s smile nearly faltered at the girl?s cheerful declaration. They were so cute and innocent. Rosie couldn?t have been more than four years old which meant that she was probably made an orphan during the war while Chris looked only slightly older, perhaps five or six. She wondered if they even realized what being an orphan meant.

"OH COOL! This is the knife throwing act!" Chris turned his attention back to the circus with an enthusiastic whoop, jumping to his feet, eyes wide with the light of excitement.

"Yeah, this is so awesome! Have you ever seen it Miss?" Rosie asked, her glittering brown eyes filled with a quiet anticipation.

Relena?s lips twitched, suppressing a giggle, ?No. I haven?t had the pleasure.?

"The guy with the half mask is so dreamy . . . " The girl twirled a lock of red hair around her finger, cheeks flushed pink and eyes staring dreamily into space.

The Vice Foreign Minister stared at her for a moment before allowing the giggle to break through the barrier of her lips, ?I couldn?t agree with you more Rosie!?

"No he isn't! He's cool! Watch, he won't even flinch!" Chris?s dark hair fairly bristled with tense anxiety and impatience.

Relena shook her head absently, her smile fading in favor of a more sober expression, her brows drawn slightly to create a small indention of worry in the center of her forehead. Craning her neck, she searched for a first glimpse of either Catherine or Trowa to no avail.

Finally, she gave up for a moment, deciding that she would see them once they finished setting up for the act. Looking down at her hands, she was once again struck by a sense of excitement and romance (which was sort of strange given that she was stinking up the entire area due to a strategically placed rotten egg in the head) . . . even if it was only an imagined romance. Surely Trowa didn't think of her like that even if she had begun to wish he did over the last month patiently waiting for this day.

And yet . . . she couldn't help but think that maybe he did as her fingers sought out the ticket within her pocket. It was almost as if he had been ordering her to have a good time, to relax and enjoy herself while he was doing something he obviously enjoyed, and even if that wasn?t his intent, her heart still warmed with the possibility that perhaps this wasn?t a one-sided fancy. Maybe, just maybe, Trowa was just as interested as she was.

Cheering broke her out of her studious daze, and Relena stood to better see what was going on. There, in the center of the ring, stood a veritable god of quiet masculinity. Trowa.

"Oh my . . ." Relena breathed, unconsciously bringing a hand up to fan herself, a wave of dizziness sweeping over her as she fought the urge to swoon. Her eyes were glued to his bare muscular chest and bulging arm muscles, a strange heat suffusing her face and neck while her hands began to sweat and her heart began to race, trying to break out of her chest. He was a work of art, he was.

Distantly, she noted that she was not the only female so affected for teenage girls and full grown women alike were likewise preoccupied, some going so far as to unbutton the first few buttons of their blouses or blatantly licking their lips in a rather suggestive manner. It made Relena sick. There were children present for goodness sake!

Rosie tugged on her sleeve, ?Miss Lena?? The little girl looked down to the ground, her chubby little hands twisting the material of her simple pink dress.

A question poised on her lips, Relena tried to deduce what was bothering the young girl only to realize there was no way the child could see the act with all the people standing in front of her trying to get a better view for themselves. Meanwhile, Chris had perched himself atop one of the chaperone?s shoulders. Rosie was left to fend for herself.

Smiling gently, Relena picked up the little girl, laughingly apologizing for the smell, but Rosie didn?t seem to mind as her gaze flew to Trowa?s magnificent form as he stoically faced the oncoming knives, his one visible green eye staring dispassionately ahead as the cold metal virtually caressed the skin at his temple.

Relena very nearly fainted while Rosie whimpered, burying her head into Relena?s neck and Chris yelled at the top of his lungs in unrestrained enthusiasm.

All too soon, or maybe not soon enough, the act was finished, Trowa was still alive without a scratch on him, and Catherine was proud that she hadn't slipped up and caused severe harm to her brother, her knives flying unerringly where she willed them. Relena was just relieved Trowa was uninjured. She knew he did this several days a week, but it was rather nerve wracking to her and she wasn't even the target!

She was also somewhat calmer due to the comforting thought that she had made it through the whole act without making a spectacle of herself in the wake of all that masculine flesh (even if that form of distraction had proved secondary to the issue of Trowa?s safety).

It seemed the other women were of the same opinion and more than one breathed a loud, long sigh of relief when Trowa exited the tent and was gone from sight, the clowns coming out to play once more.

The rest of the circus flew by in a dazzling array of color and excitement. The trapeze act made her want to fly just as effortlessly as she watched the men and women soar through the air with ease, the high wire act made her dizzy with fear for the performer as he pretended a stumble upon the thin support, and the human cannonball made her breath catch, pulse race, and face pale with the rush of adrenaline through her body.

And then it was over, the uproarious applause echoing in her ears minutes after it had died down as families and couples filed out the tent. Turning toward her new little friends, Relena said her goodbyes to Rosie and Chris, cataloguing the name of the orphanage where they resided so that she could make good on her promise to visit them.

Watching them leave with an irresistible smile pasted on her face, she turned her head to search for Heero but could not find him. Did he leave without her? Ah well, she could take care of herself. He probably just went out for some fresh air or something, after all, Cathy did look rather good in her costume, Relena thought with a wide grin made her way out of the tent alone.

Basking in the midday sun, Relena felt lighter and more relaxed than she had in weeks, the tension of the past few months becoming nothing but an unpleasant, distant memory within the confines of her mind. She smiled as her eyes closed, soaking up the warm sunlight, not noticing the large shadow approaching her.

She started when she felt the first brush of a rough, wet tongue on her hand, and very nearly screamed when she saw what was licking her fingers. A very large, very real lion.

"Oh my God . . ." Her voice shook as she became tense, her eyes widening in fearful panic as the huge cat gently clamped its mouth closed around her hand, tugging softly. She stared at him then relaxed somewhat when she realized he wasn't going to attack and possibly kill her. "You want me to go with you?"

If she didn't know better, she would have said that the lion just nodded, and she vaguely recognized her scarf tied around the creature's neck.

The beast turned, taking a step then craning his bulky neck to look questioningly (Yes . . . *questioningly*) at her before walking away, expecting her to follow.

Shaking her head, Relena grinned, "Smarter than your average lion. Trowa, what are you up to?" Hesitating for only a moment, her eyes darting around to see if anyone was watching this rather unusual event, she followed the lion as he weaved his way around the expansive circus space to the area set aside for the animals. He lead her up a short set of rather rickety steps to a makeshift shed in a spot hidden from prying eyes then stopped, liquid black eyes staring at her as if to say, "He's in there."

Heart pounding and hands shaking, she placed her hand upon the door knob of the little shed when --

?Relena??

?AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!? Relena jumped, heart ramming up into her throat as she began falling backwards. Squeezing her eyes shut, she bit her tongue and braced for impact when she felt herself being pulled upright, her feet dangling above the ground, against a hard, warm, definitely male body.

Popping one eye open, she found herself staring into Trowa?s eye(s). Why was it every time they met, it had to be under these sorts of circumstances?

?Trowa,? she greeted as he set her back down on her feet. She tried to smile but was suddenly overcome with embarrassment at her appearance and er . . . fragrance, and for once in her life, Relena had no earthly idea what to say, no conception of how she was supposed to act.

Distantly, she thanked the Powers That Be for making Trowa put on a shirt.

?Th . . thank you for inviting me,? was all she could come up with, her mind screaming at her that she was making a fool out of herself, stammering like a love sick schoolgirl. Blushing in mortification, she bowed her head, belatedly realizing that she was giving him a beautiful view of her egg stiffened hair.

Jeez, leave it to a man to throw her off balance . . . literally.

Gentle fingers touched her chin, forcing her head up to look at him, and she couldn?t help but gasp at the sight of his beautiful (if rare) smile, ?Sorry I startled you, and I apologize for this.? His hand tucked a few clumped strands of hair behind her ear, the normally blonde locks making a rather strange crinkling sound as they were bent and separated by the action.

Relena frowned, irritation igniting behind her blue eyes, ?You rigged it??

Trowa shook his head, smile still etched upon his lips, ?I told them to do something, but I wasn?t expecting . . . this.?

?Hmmph.? Her frown deepened. She was not enjoying his amused gaze at all.

Suddenly, he shoved a large pink and white swirl lollipop in her face, ?Smile.?

Relena blinked before gingerly taking the candy from him, her eyes studying the baby blue iced smiley face adorning the hard pink and white sugar concoction, a smile coming to her features as her eyes rose to look up at him again, ?Thank you, for all of this.? She made a vague gesture toward the big tent and the lion who was sitting on his haunches, watching the proceedings patiently, ?I?ve never been to a circus before.?

?I know. Cathy told me.?

?Ah. Does she know about --?

?No.?

Eyes averted, Relena wondered why she inwardly felt relieved, ?Do you . . . um that is . . . What?s happening between us?? Clear blue eyes fixed themselves on his face, trying to find some sort of purchase in the turbulent winds of desperate confusion.

Hesitantly, slowly, Trowa placed his hands on either side of her face, tilting her head back just a little more before answering softly, ?I don?t know, but if you don?t want the others to know, I?ll comply with your wishes.?

She licked her lips, ?It?s not that.?

Trowa nodded slowly, ?I know.? He lowered his hands back to his sides leaving Relena feeling strangely bereft of his touch.

She turned away, her eyes adopting a thoughtful look, ?If we?re not sure what?s going on, I can just imagine what the others would think. We?d be married before either of us could say ?I don?t,? and the last thing I want is for you to get entangled in the shambles that is my single-hood.? A grin smoothed over her lips as she turned back to him, ?So we keep it a secret for now??

Nodding again, Trowa?s smile returned, a mischievous gleam illuminating his catlike green eyes, ?You can use my shower.?

Relena giggled, one hand coming up to feel the top of her hair, ?Can?t show up to Quatre?s place looking like a petrified mop, can I? Which reminds me, are you escorting someone??

Taking her hand easily in his Trowa led her towards his home, keeping an eye out for Cathy, ?Yes. Cathy.?

?Mmmm. Mind switching??

He glanced back at her but said nothing.

?I mean at the dance itself. I doubt I could explain to Heero why I suddenly didn?t need him as an escort at the last minute without telling him I?d rather be going with you than him.? *Oh God! Did I just blurt that out??*

Still he said nothing, and Relena?s hopes crumbled under the weight of silence. Had she read too much into this? Was she just fooling herself once more as she had done with Heero years before?

He ushered her into the trailer, a place she was fast becoming familiar with, and led her to the small but clean bathroom. Before leaving her to wash the egg from her person, he ducked his head to whisper his lips across hers, ?Meet me in the West wing at midnight.?

Relena stared after him as he quickly exited the trailer, leaving her alone, her fingers pressed to her lips and her other hand grasping the lolli tightly.

?West wing . . . midnight . . .,? she murmured, a small, serene smile gracing her lips as she turned slowly into the bathroom. Perhaps she wasn?t fooling herself after all.

To be continued . . .

Author's Note: Why yes Rosie and Chris will be making another appearance, why do you ask? :razz:

[athena]

*swoons* I wouldn't mind going to a circus and seeing Trowa there! And the lion with the scarf..perfect! He seems to be very attached to the animals, so I'm glad you put that in.

Heero and Cathy?? Wow..never thought of that. Interesting! can't wai to see what happens with that!

off to next chapter!!

[Kanya Barton]

I am "inward screaming" right now because I love this story so much! I have to stop typing and read the next chapter!
Peace out!

[Kysra]

Whee!!!!!!!!

athena: You will be happy to know that Caesar (the lion) will be making another appearance soon . . . very soon . . . like in the next chapter (if all goes well and Relena behaves). I've always thought of Trowa as a cat - sleek, watchful, dangerous :-? I'm sure he finds that quite flattering, heh. Plus, we know he has a certain kinship with the circus lion, don't we?

Kanya Barton: "inwardly screaming" eh? I've felt that way before while reading fic, but I certainly never expected a fic of mine to inspire the feeling!!!!

Thanks to everyone who read this baby. I'm exceedingly overwhelmed that people remember this fic!!! And I'm grateful that readers are still finding reasons to like it Thank you very much.

- Kysra