Love is not a fairy tale - chapt 1

[Ame-san]

Love is not a fairy tale

By: Ame-San

Chapter 1 - Broken promises



He felt tired, numb and weak. Where am I? He thought without opening his eyes since his eyelids had become a million times heavier than he could ever remember. Is this why I'm so weak? He wanted to move but something was blocking his effort. He tried to sit up, but only his arms seemed to be conscious. What's wrong with me? His nerves sent signals to his legs to move, but they lay there motionless as if they were dead. Why can't my legs move? Umbrage slowly filled his chest and he was frustrated at the numb feeling of his lower body. What happened to me? He gathered his hand into a ball of fist, swung up into the air and landed hard on his left leg with a thump. No pain came. He hit his right leg, and came the same result. No pain or any other sensation. No, this is not happening to me! This is just temporary. It has to be. He refused to believe the truth and began punching his legs over and over again, wanting to feel the pain, but the pain never came. Relena...

****

" Doctor, how is he?" Duo asked with a grim face contrary to his usual cheerful demeanor. His facetious self was filled with grief and melancholy. Hilde stood beside him looking just as dreary as him, her eyes were red obviously from crying. Trowa leaned nearby against the wall, expressionless as always, but pain had consumed his eyes. Their mission was complete almost at the expanse of Heero's life.

" His injuries are no longer life-threatening. He should be fine." The doctor replied.

" Can we see him?" Duo inquired.

" Yes, but are you family?"

" No, but I'm his best friend. We haven't informed his fianc?e yet, she's his only family. Can you let us see him before we inform her, because I really don't want to worry her." Duo pleaded.

" Fine. However I have to explain something to you before you go in. Mr.Yuy suffered a major injury on his spinal cord, which inflated injury on his Somatic Nervous system. The Somatic nervous system controls voluntary actions of the muscles, in other words it controls movement. Because of his injury, his lower body from the waist down can no longer function. He is paralyzed, and I have already informed him his condition. He is not taking it well."

"Paralyzed?!" Those inexorable words hit Duo and the others like a hurricane. " What? You mean he can't walk anymore? "

" Yes, I'm sorry." The doctor expressed his apology.

" But that just can't be. He can't, no way. You are saying that he is incapable of walking?"

" I'm afraid so. We have tried our best to save his life, but we weren't able to prevent him from paralysis. The injury had been too much for us to handle. It's beyond repair even with out technology."

" No." Duo covered his face with both of his hands unable to cope with the truth.

" Doctor, we want to see him now. Please?" He tried to stifle his raging emotions.

" Follow me."

The doctor led them to Heero Yuy's room in the neurology ward. He opened the door quietly and motioned the three to go in after him. Heero was still lying there with his eyes closed, but he had heard the echoes of the foot steps. Duo and Hilde stood near the bed and Trowa took the position against the window while the doctor left silently.

" I know you are there, Maxwell." Heero said with his eyes shut.

" Heero..." For once Duo lost all the words to say.

" I know what's wrong with me, you don't have to say anything." His words were as cold as ice like he had just transformed back into the phlegmatic soldier he used to be.

" I'm paralyzed." He said calmly.

" Yeah, but buddy - "

Heero cut him off. " Just don't say anything to me. Leave me alone."

" What about Relena?" Duo was certain that Relena was the only panacea for his best friend's injury, both physically and emotionally.

Heero opened his eyes at the mention of that name, but didn't mutter any sound.

" We haven't told her about your condition yet." Duo said. " What are you planning to do now, Heero?

He had no answers to follow.

" Sorry, buddy. I think I'll go call Relena right now. You'll feel better when she's here." Duo said retreating to the door.

" No."

" What?" He stopped in his track. " Why not? She's a comfort to you."

" I said no." It was firm and bitter.

" What? She has to know about your condition, Heero." Duo defended. " For crying out loud, you guys are supposed to be married in three days. She has to know about this."

" What part of a no don't you understand!" Heero raised his voice as he tried to sit up, but failed as he remembered his predicament. " Damn it!" He cursed at his inability. He crashed his own legs with baneful punches that could've broken his bones.

" Stop it Heero!" Hilde yelled at his sadistic act with tears in her eyes. " You'll hurt yourself."

" What difference does it make?" He spoke in a derisive tone. " I'm incapable of feeling pain. You could break them off and I wouldn't even flinch a muscle. Want to bet?" He said to her incredulous look.

" No! She doesn't want to bet, Heero. You are not well. You are insane!" Duo sauntered back to Hilde and held her in his arms.

" What difference does it make?" He repeated those words. " I'm paralyzed."

" Heero, I know this must be hard on you, but you have to tell Relena about it." Duo tried to persuade him. Only she had the power to heal his pain.

" No."

" Why not? You have to give me a reason. She's your fianc?e, your wedding is just around the corner." He just couldn't understand him.

" No. The wedding is off, I'm not marrying her." He said apathetically.

" What!!?" Both Duo and Hilde exclaimed at his remark. Trowa just stared at him in disbelief.

" No, you can't say that. How can you say something like that?"

" I just said it, didn't I?"

" But Heero, you love her. You guys were meant to be. Why?" Duo felt that his best friend had just died and the person in front of him was a heartless imposter.

" I'm not marrying her, I can't marry her." That was his explanation.

" Why?"

" Look at me, Duo! Look at me! I can't even sit up on my own!" Emotions were raging inside of him.

" That's because you are still weak from your injury."

" But I'm Paralyzed! Do you know what that means?" He calmed down a little and continued. " Duo, I'm not marrying her. Better yet, tell her I'm dead. She deserves so much more."

" How can you be so heartless?" That was from Hilde. " Tell her you are dead, that's the same as killing her. You mean everything to her. How can you do that to her? Don't you even love her?"

" I do, I love her, but she's better off with me dead than have me there as a complete waste."

" So are you ever going to see her?" Trowa spoke for the first time.

" No." Heero had just torn his own heart out and broke it into pieces.

" Heero, I understand how you feel, you are not thinking clearly." Duo spoke.

" No, you don't understand me! None of you do! Do you think it's easy to make that decision? Do you think it would be easy for me to just not to see her? Look at me! I'm a complete waste. I can't do anything anymore. I can't even protect her anymore, and I promised her that, I made her a promise! But that's a broken promise now." His last words were in whispers.

" Heero, I'm telling her about you whether you like it or not." Hilde was angry at him.

" Fine, then I'll shoot myself the minute she finds out, and I'm not bluffing." He was serious. " If any of you ever tells her anything about me, don't think you'll ever see me again."

" Heero..."

" Just drop it. You have no idea what it is to be like me right now. I wish that I did die, why did you save me? Why didn't you just let it be?" He sighed.

" Heero, you promised her that you would return to her. You are breaking another promise!" Hilde didn't give up that easily.

" What difference does it make?" He muttered those words again.

" Stop saying that!! Everything makes a difference, Heero Yuy!! Everything does!!! Your every action and decision make a difference!!!!!" She screamed at him.

" No it doesn't, because I'm dead. I died when I woke up in here. Heero Yuy no longer exists, he never did!"

" But your promises..."

" I have already broken one, why not break all of them. It doesn't make any difference. I can't protect her anymore, I can't take care of her, I can't be by her side and I can't ever give her any happiness. All I am to her is nothing but a waste. I'm no longer the person she fell in love with." He said lying on the bed wanting to move his legs but couldn't.

" Heero..."

" If all of you still think of me as a friend, then grant me this last wish. Tell her that I'm dead. I don't care how, just tell her and make her believe you. Call off the wedding," He closed his eyes. " and leave me alone."

"But-"

" Just leave me alone."

They left, all three of them left. He was finally alone to suffer by himself. He didn't want anybody to suffer with him, especially her. His pride was gone, he lost it completely when he found out that he was paralyzed. He was the perfect soldier, a hero, a man who was able to protect his love and give her happiness, he was everything. Now, he was nothing. Relena, I'm sorry, I never meant to break those promises. I'll always love you even if I can't be by your side. Tears escaped his eyes for the first time as he sobbed silently holding her necklace she gave him.

There is no such things as fairy tales.

A/N: This is almost surreal, I start to think that people in real life would never make such a decision. It sounds rather farfetched. Oh, well, it's fiction.

[goddesswing]

Well farfetched to normal people... but is Heero normal? Of course not! He's always had that stubborn streak in him, as Duo says. But he's being so.. heartless. His mind is blocked. If he dies, she dies. Doesn't he get that?! This story was very... surprising! Never thought that... THAT... would happen to Heero. Paralyzation?!?! Wow. Must be tough. He's not the deadliest guy in the world... but that's not what Heero cares about. He cares about Relena, but he's not making his decisions in favor of his love for her... doesn't he see that?!
PS. Love the story, like all the rest of your stories!!!

+::goddesswing::+

[blackrose]

Well, just because there are no fairy tales doesn't mean they have to end up like this! GAH! Poor Heero! Poor Relena!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*sniffs* You have to make it all better.

Love,
Rose

[RDP]

Argh! This is so angsty...poor Heero, poor Lena! Ame-san, you must continue this in addition to Saber's Tear. Please? Okay then, can't wait!

[Fate Lowe]

Poor Heero...Poor Lena...But why is he being so stupid...Argh...fix it...please.