Never Again ch. 4 & 5 (Rated R)

[Kuno-baby]

Standard Disclaimer: Don't own...so sad. Warnings language and graphic scenes.


Never Again! by Kuno-baby



Chapter 4



Relena slept for two hours after her earlier breakdown with Heero patiently watching over her. He refused Pagan's offer to tend to his scratches and stayed in the bed with Relena. Noin and Milliardo, meanwhile had quickly notified the psychiatrist and she was coming right over.

Saddened by Relena's mental state, Duo took off to report back to Une on the situation. David Maxwell's death was now a Preventer investigation and had been ruled by Une justifiable homicide. She'd made sure Relena's name was removed from all evidence and that the 'assailant' was labeled under a false name. Tweaking documents was illegal, but when had that ever stopped Heero and Duo before. Heero personally made sure persons involved in the beginning of the case were told to keep quiet or else. They'd made sure nothing could be traced back to Relena. Relena's mental state was too fragile to be involved in a murder trial and she was still essentially the Vice Foreign Minister.

As the car drove up the drive, the couple waited anxiously on the first steps. They were both quite surprised by the highly recommended doctor's appearance. Dr. Yoshada Grimes. She was short. Real short. Just looking at her as she walked up the steps, Milliardo knew she probably only reached his navel. An older asian woman, probably in her fifties, she had a warm smile. Had
a nice old grandmotherly air to her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Peacecraft. Hello, I'm Dr. Grimes. Pleased to meet you." she said, holding her hand out to be shaken. Her stripped black and red business suit with black shoes and black briefcase made her look comically sweet and even more tiny to them.

Pleasantries aside, they ushered her inside the house into the study. After briefly going over her course of treatment planned for Relena, Dr. Grimes tried to reassure them.

"I've gone over your sisters case and believe she can be helped. I'll need to see her right away to understand her mental and emotional state at the moment."

Milliardo nodded, feeling relieved.

Dr. Grimes smiled, knowing that situations like this not only effected the victims but the family itself. Hopefully, she could help.

********************

Blinking her eyes, Relena warily opened them to see Heero staring at her. She blushed when she realized she was in her bed and he was holding her.

"How do you feel?" Heero asked, pushing a strand of hair away from her reddened cheeks.

"I-I feel fine. I-oh!" Relena's eyes widened as her earlier reactions came to her. Feeling awkward, she tried to put distance between them, but he wouldn't allow her. He firmly placed his hand on her back and moved in closer.

Giving in, Relena reached put to cautiously touch the scratches on his calm face. She rubbed them softly as their eyes made contact and held.

"I'm sorry." Relena whispered.

"I know. You don't have anything to be sorry about." Heero said, rubbing his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion.

"I don't know what's wrong with me? I-I'm scared I'll hurt someone. What's wrong with me?" she said, starting to get upset.

Heero brought his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "We'll get you all the help you need to get better, Relena."

"Don't leave me." she sighed.

"I won't."

******************

It had taken much arguing and persuasion to get Heero to leave Relena alone in the psychiatrist care. He knew it was for her well being, but he still felt like he was abandoning her as he left the room with Milliardo and Noin.

Relena's first session with Dr. Grimes would be conducted in her bedroom, where she could feel comfortable and safe. After explaining what would go on during her session, the doctor waited for her patient to become relaxed to begin.

"Relena, do you feel you're ready to discuss what happened earlier today?" Dr. Grimes asked. She seated herself in a chair in close proximity to Relena, but not too close to scare the girl.

Fiddling with one of her fluffy pillows, Relena sat back in resignation. "I got scared."

"Why?"

Silence.

"Why Relena?" Dr. Grimes repeated the question, writing something down on a note pad she'd pulled out of her briefcase.

"You're just here to prove I'm crazy so you can lock me away forever." Relena mumbled.

Dr. Grimes abruptly stopped writing. "Is that a big fear of yours? To be locked away again against your will?"

"Yes and I'm not crazy. I'm not!" stated Relena forcibly.

"Is that what you think? That everyone believes your crazy? Do you worry you might be because of what you did to your kidnapper?"

"It was in self defense!" yelled Relena, feeling agitated. She squirmed in the bed.

"You feel defensive about it. Why?" Dr. Grimes said.

"He deserved it! He was a cruel bastard. He deserved to die!"

"Did he?" Dr. Grimes questioned, lifting up her left brow.

Relena turned her head away.

"You're glad he's dead, but it scares you that you feel some remorse because of it. Relena, your brother tells me you are an idealistic person. You believe that there is good in everyone. Do you still think that way?" Dr. Grimes asked.

"No. Some people are beyond help." sighed Relena.

"Was David beyond help?"

Relena said nothing and Dr. Grimes made more notes on her pad before continuing.

"You were held in a basement for an entire year chained to a wall. He raped and abused you, Relena. Took away your rights. Took you away from loved ones to satisfy his twisted version of love. Yet, I sense some pity for him. You hated him, but a part of you mourns him also."

"That's not true!" Relena snapped. She tossed aside her covers and scrambled out of the bed. She began pacing back and forth in the middle of the spacious room.

"He was all you had for a year. Your only human contact. As much as you despise him, you grew to need him too." Dr. Grimes said.

"He was a rapist! He beat me like a dog when I disobeyed him. He was a monster." Relena said.

"Yes, Relena he was a rapist. He abused you horribly. He hurt you and you murdered him in rage. You ended his life. You have to come to terms with it. You say he deserved it, but you pitied him enough that you feel guilty for killing him. You do mourn him because you're not heartless. You hate yourself for feeling such emotions for a person like him."

Relena bent her head and moved pathetically slow to the edge of her bed. Facing away from the doctor, she started to cry. "I'm a hypocrite. I've preached murder was wrong, yet all I ever thought about was killing him. I'm so relieved he's dead, but I don't feel whole anymore. I'm free but I still feel like I'm imprisoned."

"It'll be a long process to heal, Relena. Are you willing to put in the effort to work through your problems with these sessions?" Dr. Grimes asked.

"Yes. I just want to go back to being me again." Relena said, wiping her eyes. She turned to the older woman. The psychiatrist smiled and jotted down some more notes.

****************

"Heero, will you please stop pacing. You're as bad as Milliardo." Noin cried out exasperated. Noin watched the two worried men from her lying down position on the couch. She secretly thought it was adorable and hid a smile. But like them she was anxious too. Relena had been alonewith the doctor for three hours now.

Both men stopped once they realized they were pacing the floor in unison.

The study's door opened and the psychiatrist entered the room alone. Everyone jumped up at the sight of her. "Don't worry, she's fine. The gentleman, I think his name was Pagan, is with her now."

"It went well?" Milliardo asked hopefully.

"She has a way to go, Mr. Peacecraft, but I think I helped her understand some issues today." Dr. Grimes said with a smile.

Heero started for the door, but was stopped by the tiny doctor.

"Mr. Yuy, I presume?" she questioned. She looked over the silent young man with the intense blue eyes.

"Yes." Heero said in that monotone voice of his. He didn't turn around to face her.

"Relena's going to need your understanding most of all. From my questioning, I know you're a very important person to her. Remember she's extremely fragile right now. She'll need your support more than ever." Dr. Grimes replied.

"She's got me." Heero said, leaving the room.

Dr. Grimes smiled to herself at that answer before turning back to the concerned family.

"Relena is deeply troubled right now. She's clinically depressed and mentally scared. I'm going to write a prescription for some pills to handle her depression. It will help with the mood swings. I want to see her three times a week from now on."

"What else can we do?" Noin asked.

"Just love her and be patient." the psychiatrist said, patting Noin's hand.

"What did you talk about?" Milliardo asked.

"That I can't say, but know she's really scared she's lost your love. She's worried she's lost her humanity. Please reassure her often you'll be there for her."

"Of course we will. She's my little sister, we love her." Milliardo said.

"Good enough. I'll be back here Friday afternoon at one. See you then." Dr. Grimes replied. She shook the couples hands and they walked her to her car. They waved as she drove away.

Milliardo suddenly pulled Noin in his arms and kissed her on the lips passionately. Noin was the first to pull away.

"What was that about?" she asked smiling, running a hand through her blowing coal black hair.

"I just wanted you to know how much I love you. And to thank you for sticking by me d-"

Putting a hand over his lips, Noin shushed him. "I'm your wife. I'll always stick by you. And you know I love her, too. We are a family. It's supposed to be this way. Don't you forget it."

Kissing her fingertips, he smiled gratefully at his beautiful wife. "I won't again."

**************

Inside Relena's bedroom, Relena and Heero stood looking out the window. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she smiled seeing Milliardo and Noin kissing out front. She laid her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her tiny waist.

"I know I haven't been there for you before when you needed me, but I'm here to stay now." Heero spoke softly.

"I hope you mean that." Relena said.

"I do." he said.

It got quiet between them and for Relena it was enough to know he cared and understood. She was broken now, and like understood like. They were a matched set and that somehow made her feel secure and safe.

**********

"Wakey, wakey, Relena! Breakfast is here." David cheerfully announced.

Relena came awake in surprise. She stretched before freezing up at that voice. She looked up and saw his grinning face smiling back her.

*No! It couldn't be? He's dead! David's dead!*

He came in dressed in green shorts and a white wife beater shirt. He looked so normal. No one would look at him and see a crazed madman holding a girl captive in his home. Maybe she was just as insane for being use to this.

"Lena, hurry up and eat. I made all your favorites." David gestured to the food on the tray. Eggs, bacon, grits and toast were carefully laid out on the plate. He was eager to get her to eat...meaning the food was drugged again.

"No, you're dead. I-I killed you. You can't be alive!" Relena said, starting to feel hysterical. Where was Heero? Milliardo and Noin? Was her rescue only a sick dream? She took in her surroundings. The same barren, cracked walls. Same dirty mattress and the chain attached to her ankles. She moved her leg and almost cried. The heavy weight of it was real!

"Lena, what are talking about? You know I'd never leave you." David smiled.

Relena crawled back on her hands and knees to put distance between them. Hampered by her steel chains, she could only go so far.

*Oh God! I'm in hell! David's dead. He has to be!*

"I killed you! Get away from me you freak!" Relena screamed, crouching against the wall.

David frowned at that. "That wasn't very nice of you, Lena. You could never kill me. You don't have the balls to do it."

Before she could try to defend herself, David slammed himself on top of her. Sitting on her stomach, he used his heavier weight to hold her down while she struggled. Cursing him, Relena tried hard to pull free but it was no use. He slapped her across the face, stunning her and giving him another advantage. David grasped her wrist together in one hand and held them over her head.
With his other hand, he caressed down her stomach, before forcing her legs open with his knee.

He thrusts two fingers into her vagina and relentlessly stabbed her over and over again. Relena cried out in pain as he cruelly stretched her. She writhed in pain, kicking her feet while he just sneered above her. Feeling his arousal against her stomach, Relena wanted to retch.

*No! This can't be real. God, please make it stop. It's not real!*

"You belong to me, Lena. I'll never let you go." David said, bending to kiss her.
As soon as he bent to kiss her, the image disappeared. David was gone. Relena looked around and saw she was still the basement. This was dream, right? She wasn't insane?

The door opened and David reappeared once more. "I brought you chicken and mashed potatoes, Lena. And some cake. How does that sound?" he said, moving slowly toward her.

She recognized his familiar clothing and the tray of food. She felt the hair on her neck rise at the implication.

*The day he died...Oh God! I'll have to relive that day!*

"Stop it right now, Relena. I'm not putting up with your silent treatment and I know you're not sleep. Damnit, say something!"

Relena watched him yelling at the still form on the floor and felt oddly ill in her gut. Davis stood there with the tray of food for a few minutes before it dawned on him she didn't appear to be breathing. "Relena, stop playing around."

Not getting any answer, David flung the food aside and rushed to her side. Cautiously turning her over her tensed up for an attack. But nothing happened. Her eyes were closed and she didn't seem to be breathing. "Oh, God. Relena, don't be dead!"

He hugged her close to his chest and rocked her back and forth, sobbing loudly. David suddenly jerked, his eyes widening in shock and pain. He gasped for breath as Relena's hand came up again to stab him in the throat. Blood poured out of the wounds in a disgusting bloody gush. He jerked away from her, clutching at his throat, but he was losing too much blood too fast and he weakly
slumped to the side on the mattress.

"R-Rele-" David gurgled as blood spilled out of his mouth and his eyes fell into the back of his head.

Relena held a hand over her mouth unable to turn away from the horrible sight. She watched her other self stabbing and stabbing and stabbing him. Blood spurted everywhere. Covering the walls, soaking completely through clothing. She just kept stabbing him.

The sounds of tearing flesh rang loudly in Relena's ear as she watched her counterpart tear into the still form of David. There was so much blood!

*Oh, god! I'm a monster!*

Relena jerked wake screaming. It was nighttime and only the open window shade provided any light. She turned to her side and saw Heero lying in bed with her. She quickly scanned the room and saw familiar, welcome surroundings. She sobbed in happiness.

Heero leaned over her and wiped her tears from her eyes gently. His expression showed his worry and concern.

"Are you real?" she cried out, touching his face tentatively.

"I'm real, Relena. It was just a dream. No one's going to ever harm you again." He said.

Crying out in relief, Relena clasped her arms around his neck and held on tight. Not saying anything, he wrapped his arms around her waist. They stayed like that the rest of the night.

****************

The following morning, Heero took Relena for a walk in the park. Afraid being cooped up too long in one place would make her frightened, he got her out of the house. Disguised in a brown wig, Relena blended in with the crowd. Holding hands, Heero and Relena looked like any other couple in love. And maybe they were, except their relationship was unbelievably complicated.

Finding a nice secluded spot, Heero and Relena sat down under an old oak tree. Relena leaned her head on Heero's shoulder and they enjoyed the day. Sunny out, everyone must have decided the park was the place to be. People played games. Flew kites and sunbathed. Relena wished she felt so free.

Suddenly an orange rubber ball rolled in their direction and bounced off the toe of Relena's sandals, before completely stopping. A little boy of no more than five or six years ran after it.

Huffing out of breathe, he ran up to Relena. "Can I have my ball, miss?"

Nodding, Relena picked it up and handed it to him. He was an adorable little boy with his matching green shorts and stripped yellow/green t-shirt. She felt her heart melt seeing he had hair similar to Heero's. Imagining Heero as a boy, she couldn't felt but grin.

"Thanks. You wanna play, too?" he asked, showing her a gap tooth grin.

If she didn't think he was adorable enough, that won her over. Shaking her head no, she waved him off to play. He waved good-bye and ran, kicking his ball through the grass.

Heero was glad he'd brought her. That innocent kid's remark had brightened up her day. She'd always had a soft spot for children and animals. He watched her following the boy's movements with her eyes and smiling.

Leaning her head back on his shoulder, she sighed. "Do you think I could be a good mother now?"

"You'd be the best." Heero said, stroking her hair with his hand.

Relena daydreamed that day...about children of her own. Their children.

***************

Dr. Grimes arrived exactly at 1 p.m. on the dot. After saying her hello's to the Peacecraft couple, she immediately went to Relena's room. Now use to the routine, Heero went to his bedroom. He never used it, but kept it to keep Milliardo's temper in check.

Getting out his lap top, he set it up and did some research on the internet trying to see what he could do to help Relena. He so worked intensely, he almost didn't hear the vid-phone ringing.

Answering it, he wasn't surprised to see Duo on the other end. Normally cheerful, Duo looked anything but. Grim faced, Heero knew Duo's message wouldn't be pleasant.

"What's happened?" Heero asked.

"Bad news. Really bad news. The media has found out Relena's alive and well." Duo replied.

"What? How?"

"Intelligence said some asshole at Mariner's hospital. An intern in the psych ward sold the news to the press for some quick cash. Once I get off with you, I'm going to have a little talk with him." sneered Duo.

Heero slammed his fist hard against the table. "Save some for me. Damnit! This is the last thing she needs now. What about the records?" Heero asked.

"All records are now property of the Preventers and you know Une would rather eat glass than give that info away."

"The doctors been taken care of on my end, so there are no worries there. Shit, this is awful news." Heero groaned, running his hand across his face.

Duo silently agreed. "I know. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Thanks, Duo." Heero said.

"Hey, what are friends for. Just take care of missy for me. Hilde and I send love. I'm out."

"Bye." Heero disconnected the line. He unclenched his fist and cursed.

Having no time to spare, Heero went to find Milliardo and Noin so they could prepare for the worse.

***********

Relena finished telling Dr. Grimes her dream and anxiously awaited her reaction.

"Relena, you have many friends who have taken lives? Do you consider yourself better than them because you say you did it out of protection?" Dr. Grimes questioned.

"What? No! I've never thought that." Relena said, clenching and unclenching her hands.

"They killed out of necessity because of the war. You murdered a man because you are evil." Dr. Grimes said casually, writing down something on her note pad.
No! I'm not evil. I'm not!" Relena pleaded with the psychiatrist to understand.

"You're evil! Evil! Murderer" Dr. Grimes yelled at her. She jumped out of her seat and started chanting it giddily over and over again.

"I"m not!"

Dr. Grimes sat nervously, as Relena toss her head back and forth of the bed. Her suggestion of hypnosis wasn't working out like she'd hoped. Watching Relena, Dr. Grimes knew whatever the girl was picturing in her mind was frightening her.

She was about to take Relena out of her hypnotic suggestion when the bedroom door slammed open. Walking in like an angry God, Heero first locked his eyes on Relena's writhing figure before looking at the doctor.

"What the hell have you done to her?" He went over and climbed on the bed to pull Relena in his arms.

"She's under hypnosis. It's part of the therapy." Dr. Grimes stammered under his glare.

"I'm not evil. He hurt me, he's the one who's evil." Relena moaned, tears leaking from the corner of her closed eyes.

"Take her out of it now!" Heero snapped, holding on tight when she tried to pull away. Noin and Milliardo soon came running in the room hearing all the noise. They were shocked to see Relena screaming while Heero held her down.

Dr. Grimes hurriedly yelled Relena's safety word to bring her out of her suggestion. She breathed a sigh of relief when the girl stopped thrashing around and went limp.

Relena opened her eyes a few seconds later and looked bewildered. Looking puzzled, she turned her eyes to Heero's reassuring ones.

"Heero?"

He sighed in relief as he leaned his head against hers. He pulled away and stroked her hair as he glared at her doctor. Getting up from the bed, he walked over to the psychiatrist and roughly grabbed her upper arm. Dragging her down the hall so Relena couldn't over hear, he took her into his bedroom.

"Young man, I-" Dr. Grimes protested.

Interrupting her, Heero tried to control his temper. "I don't know anything about psychiatry, but I do know incompetence when I see it. If you ever pull another stunt like that again, you won't like the results. Relena's mental health is your responsibility and if you screw her up, your screwed. This isn't a threat but a promise. Now get the hell out of here and seriously rethink your approach."

In all her years, Dr. Grimes had dealt with scary patients, but something about this young man seriously frightened her. She nodded and quickly fled.

Heero took a few moments to calm down before going to check on Relena. He was surprised to see her smiling and talking to Noin and Milliardo like nothing was wrong. From her puzzled reaction from before, she obviously didn't remember the good doctor's technique and for that he was grateful.

She smiled when he walked into the room, making his heart beat loudly in his ears. He didn't care who he had to hurt to protect her. She was his only priority and he'd make sure she knew that.












Okay, how do ya like them apples? Thanks for all the support. Come back
next chapter for more angst and the first consensual lemon scene. Bye!
[/i]

[Eden]

It's been so long since you posted your last chapter! This was really great to read after soo long!

I gotta ask though, is the doctor out to get Relena too? That would just be to weird, but I could see it happening.

Thank you for this, and I hope to see more soon!

~Eden

[gethmane8]

Fabulous update! Relena's doctor needs her butt kicked. Looks like Heero wants to volunteer for that job! And I despise David even more than before, so good job! This was awesome. The Heero/Relena moments were so sweet. Even with all the mess in her life, Heero is still sticking with her...he'd better! Loved it.

[lexcel]

*Sigh* Now I can relax since you updated. Relena still is VERY troubled and something tells me you have more mayhem planned. And I totally agree with Heero about the psychaitrist. I'm surprised all he did was was scare her off. Now what happens to the poor girl? NEED TO KNOW! ahhhhh!!!
________________
Relena: Why do all the bad things happen to me in fanfics? I thought this author LIKED ME?

Heero: Be gratefull you're not Dorothy. You should read what she does to Dorothy in her other fics....Geez!

Kuno-baby: I HEARD THAT! Just for that Heero, you'll become my FAVORITE. HEH, HEH!

Heero: (shudders) Help me!


~Just kidding Kuno-baby!!!~

[Kelly_Pure]

Hit me up with some more, please! Two chapters in one and I'm already dying for more. Relena's year with David was brutal and her memories had me cringing. DAMN! Is the doctor gone for good? Hell, I'd run if Heero threatened me! Gotta have more.

[AngelOfDeath]

My heart hurts for Relena so much. Hope things go well for her soon.

[Yawning!]

Holy Crap! I'm blown away here. Very sad and sngsty but that's how I like 'em. This will have a happy ending, right? Now that Heero stopped running off, Relena and Heero deserve to be happy. Please!!!

[lilac310]

That's awesome!!!!! Write more!!!

[HeerosChick1842]

Love! Love! Super! Excellent! What more can I say! Oh, I can say more... While my other half thinks of MORE to say, I just wanna say I thought it waz excellent!