Penname: AngelOfDeath
Email address : nope
Which categories your fic is competing in: comedy mainly (that?s why I wrote it), I?d say alt. univ and multipart as well, but there are such impressive fics there that I am very intimidated
Any Warnings (such as lemon): some raunchy comedy
Well well, things are winding towards the ending. I think maybe just this and one more part.
Anyone who actually is still reading this rocks a lot. Hope you actually find it funny.__________________________________
Part 5
?You can?t sulk forever.? Quatre rumbled kindly in the direction of the rock that Heero had perched himself on. Relena had found a decent place to curl up and sleep, but Heero refused to sleep at all. Part of it might have been nerves for they would go see the council in the morning. Mostly, Quatre was sure he was just angry with himself and hence was behaving like a spoiled dracling.
??? The silence Heero directed at him was palpable.
?If you don?t think the mark you gave her is enough to claim her, you could give it another go.? Quatre almost got it out without the chuckle, almost.
?I?m glad you think this is so funny.? Heero climbed to the top of the rock so that he was face to face with the much larger dragon. His clothes had dried just fine, but the dyes in the shirt and the pants had run together to create a strange tie-dye effect that was both bizarre and ugly. It didn?t make any difference to Heero, but Relena?s continued laughter when they had gotten back to the cave had injured his pride, (or what little he had left).
?I could always take her off your hands if,? Quatre didn?t get any further as Heero?s eyes practically began to blaze with hatred. ?Or not.? Quatre, always a gentle soul, did not want to continue talking with the angry and confrontational young man-dragon. ?The council better not try to do anything to that girl.? he murmured to himself.
Heero watched Quatre?s retreating form and tried to ease the stress from his neck and shoulders as well as lower his blood pressure. Such an offhanded comment, and he even knew that Quatre was joking, but the reaction had been so immediate that it took him by surprise. There had been things he had wanted in the past: a cow here and there, a shiny silver plate, that one ruby the caliph seemed to like so much (so much that he had literally had to pry it from his rather warm dead hands). . . but they didn?t compare to how much he wanted Relena. Her name was emblazoned in his mind. If he didn?t know better he would think that she had cast some sort of spell on him. Maybe magic was the answer and he just couldn?t see it, but that didn?t make any sense if she could barely keep a light spell going. Maybe she had lied about needing to recharge. Again, it was unreasonable to think of Relena lying. Nothing made logical sense. He punched the rock next to himself in frustration and then quickly sucked in his breath as his now slightly bloody knuckles began to throb. Such a weak, useless body this was. What if the council challenged his claim? How would he keep her if he had to fight?
This was ridiculous. Heero climbed down off the rock, and wiped the sweat off of his forehead from the heat in the air. Easily finding Relena among the rocks, he sat crosslegged beside her and poked her in the back with increasing pressure until she began to stir. At first she just gave little mumbles, but eventually they escalated into growls. One arm flailed out in an attempt to get rid of the annoyance, but Heero just caught it and pulled so that she rolled towards him. Sleepily she blinked at him.
?What could you possibly have to tell me right now? I want to sleep.? She did not catch the dangerous gleam in his eyes.
?I?ve decided something.?
?Yes yes. Mm hmm.? Relena was already closing her eyes again and trying to pull her arm out of his grasp.
?We?re going to be formally declared lifemates when we go to see the council tomorrow. Then they have to let me keep you.? He smiled, and it actually looked somewhat boyish and happy. Really, he was quite cute when he smiled. ?This way, you don?t have to die and I get to keep you. It?s the only way.?
?Mmmph, guh. . . GUH?? Relena surged up with a snort. Suddenly she found herself much more awake than she wanted to be. ?What did you just say, again, pray tell?? Now if Heero had had more experience with women of any species he would have known that the tone of voice she was using was one that should have inspired instant wariness. It was as dangerous as asking about whether he looked at other women, or if she looked chubby in those robes. Any answer he gave would have to be carefully worded, and preferably he would say something vague and then wander off until her urge to fight dissipated. But Heero, not knowing any of this, ploughed right on ahead.
?I said we?ll be declared lifemates. Then I?ll own you according to our law.? That was not the answer she was looking for. The resounding slap that echoed through the cave and left his cheek very pink alerted him to that fact. He responded by holding on to her arm with his other hand. When Relena tried to struggle free her front made a rather mesmerizing jiggling motion and Heero found his gaze drawn to it. Relena wished she had a hand free to slap him again.
?So how does this benefit me??
?I said, they can?t kill you then, unless I say they can.?
?Again, how does this benefit me?? Now Heero was starting to get mad. It was like everything he was trying to do for her was just coming out all wrong.
?This way things are much less dangerous for both of us. I don?t understand why you are being so obstinate.?
Truly, this woman was a mystery. She should be grateful, since it would be difficult enough to convince the council to see her as a viable mate. Yet here she was looking at him with a glare worthy of one of his kind directed very maliciously at him. So this is the way she wanted to play things, eh? Well, he knew better than she did so he?d have to take matters into his own hands. His grip around her wrists tightened as his eyes grew hard and emotionless. Relena felt the sudden shift of mood and shuddered, despite the intense heat of the environment. However, one benefit to being a powerful politician is the control she had developed. Calling on reserves she had not needed in many years, she made herself appear casual and unafraid, relaxed even. Even with her superb performance, she could not prevent the stiffness that stress gave her limbs, and they made her actual state of emotion obvious as Heero forced her to lie down again and lay on top of her. How could someone so thin looking be so strong? It was baffling that struggling was completely futile. His arms held hers down as he crouched over her, shaggy hair tickling her nose just a bit; she could feel his breath on her cheek when he spoke.
?You will trust me, princess, because you have no choice. Your life has been mine ever since I took you to my cave, and it is only through whatever strange effect you have on me that I keep you alive now.? He bent his head down to run his tongue gently over her bite mark, now angry and bruised, before clamping down his teeth again once more to renew and deepen the injury. If it was possible Relena went even more rigid, mostly with anger now, but to her great shame she realized a part of her was elated to hear such things from this gorgeous and infuriating man. Satisfied with his work, Heero gave the wound another soft lick and then brought his face near hers again. Slightly mesmerized, Relena watched his thin yet shapely lips approach hers.
Suddenly, Heero?s world burst into pain and he rolled to Relena?s side with a groan. The first starburst of pain had been terrible, and it only very slowly was abating. Relena stood up, now free, and looked down at the poor moaning boy. A knee to the groin had that effect on men. Tights certainly didn?t provide any protection to such an attack. Even though he looked terribly pitiful curled up in a ball like that, she didn?t feel very bad. That?s what force and presumption get you, so far as she was concerned. For a moment she wondered if that counted as breaking her strict policy of pacifism. Indeed, that was quite worrying. She would rationalize things later, or secretly swear not to do it again if need be, but at the moment she felt quite justified.
?Just remember, you may have kept me alive, but now we?re in this together and I don?t appreciate you making decisions for me.? He still was curled up into a ball. Concerned with his lack of response she bent in close and asked if he was ok. Quickly, before she could react, he pulled her in and kissed her on the lips harshly.
?Do you hate me so much?? he whispered onto her lips.
?Arrrrrrr! You. . . YOU!? Relena stormed off to find someplace else to sleep. At this point sleeping next to Quatre sounded like it would be a lot safer than at the mercy of that monster Heero.
Heero, for his part, curled up again and waited for the last of the pain to abate. She was so very cute when she was concerned, he couldn?t help but need to kiss her. After a moment he stood up. He made a note to himself: make sure to pin the legs first next time.
*
The ride to the council?s mountaintop was exhilarating. Quatre made sure to fly fairly steady and slow so that they had enough air and also wouldn?t fall off. Even so, it was a lot faster than she had gone in a long time, and the view of the mountains and forests was rare and precious to her. With Heero behind her she was prevented from being too cold, but it was a far cry from Quatre?s warm home. Actually, Heero appeared to be showing quite a bit of restraint as he had not molested her yet and she was even pressed against him and between his legs. He must be very worried about this meeting, she deduced. To some extent she did regret kicking him last night. The things he did were based off a twisted logic combined with societal and cultural differences she just didn?t understand. What was all the more complicated was that she truly was growing fond of him, even with the inappropriate behavior. If she were really truthful, she would admit that she enjoyed the feel of him next to her; she just didn?t want to be forced into anything. Somehow she knew that he was not the type to ask for anything, though, and the thought made her sigh. Heero?s arms tightened around her waist at the sigh, and Relena?s heart warmed towards him just a little more. It was really too bad he was a dragon and would forget all about this silliness once transformed back, for she was sure it was all just spurred on by human hormones.
?I don?t hate you, you know.? Relena said out loud.
?What was that?? Heero said into her ear. Apparently the wind rushing past them had muffled her words.
?I said I don?t hate you!? She half yelled it this time. As soon as she said it, she blushed. He leaned his chin in her shoulder and consciously hugged her this time.
?This is nice.? He said into her ear. ?Now your hair isn?t flying into my mouth.?
?I take it back, I do hate you.? Relena grumbled to herself. It was easier to focus on the sky and clouds. Once more she grew reflective. Heero?s hair tickled her cheek, and internally she felt herself withdraw. Everyday she could feel her power growing, she had more than the long ago days where she used it frequently and maybe she could regenerate faster. Whatever it was, she knew that she could certainly grant him his form back by tomorrow. The thought certainly depressed her. More than being fond of him, he made her feel alive. When she was in the palace there was nothing there for her but her job. She was the ruler of a great alliance of nations, and it was a grave responsibility, but her life was consumed by it. It had just turned out that it was a lonely life, and that?s the main reason she had entertained the possibility of marriage. Mr. ?Just call me Treize? was an ass, but she tolerated him for political reasons. Duke Barton was nice, but more concerned with maintaining the status quo than in her. Heero was truly, sometimes frighteningly, interested in her. His intensity reflected something she had always felt was lacking in her own life. The cruel twist of fate that the one person she found herself wanting, and who wanted her, was someone she could not have was not lost on her. It was like a soap opera gone wrong. Or maybe right, as it depended on what soap opera.
Quatre let off a burst of flame into the air. Smoke blew back on them briefly, along with some sparks. It seemed as if they were descending, and there was a large plateau beneath that seemed promising. Relena was glad they were there, as she didn?t like gloomy thoughts and at the moment she was full of them. It was time to stop her little pity party and find a way to make things work. She had always been the type to find a way, for the politician in her knew there was always room to negotiate.
The landing was fairly gentle and Relena was helped down by Heero who gave her an odd look she didn?t quite get. Disregarding her misgivings, they waited on the large open space. After a few moments she saw shadows over much of the plateau. Patiently waiting, not a single nervous gesture betraying her, Relena waited for the forms to land and until then concentrated on the swirling shadows. The wind picked up and she held her arms down at her sides to prevent her robes from rising. Almost simultaneously, six large dragons landed. There were three on either side of a slightly smaller dragon (once Quatre had taken his place at the edge) who had taken a place on a raised mound of rock in the middle. The green black scales on the smallish one seemed to shine dully, and his eyes were menacing and intelligent. Relena was reminded of a particularly sharp minister of finance whom she had never liked as he had never addressed her by her title and instead had called her. . .
?Woman!? Yes. She hated this nasty little one. She put on her neutral expression and approached the semi-circle of dragons without hesitation. The great neck arched down and the eye focused in on her. She didn?t flinch. ?Where is Heero??
Quatre spoke up at this. ?Elder Wu Fei, Heero of Zero Mountain is here, and I have vouch for the authenticity of his identity. The Heero you seek is that man who stands there, transformed by the Enchantress? spell.? There was a murmur among the Council.
?Silence!? Wu Fei looked hard at the form of the man who had not moved this entire time. ?Are you Heero??
?Yes, Elder Wu Fei.?
?We shall believe you, as you have the word of an Elder behind you. This is an upsetting turn of circumstances. You are our best soldier. If I were less forgiving I could regard this as failing your mission.? Heero gave no sign of any emotion. ?I will be merciful this time and spare your life. You!? The head regarded Relena again. ?Woman, you shall change him back this instant or we shall kill you.?
?I was under the impression you would kill me anyway.?
?Don?t be smart. We will kill you painlessly if you change him back, you have my word.?
Relena wondered if she should antagonize the head Elder, but decided against it no matter how satisfying it would be to make him angry. ?In all honesty Elder Wu Fei, I cannot cast the counterspell until tomorrow.?
?She lies to bide time.? A dragon to Wu Fei?s right hissed.
?Let us kill her now. Maybe that will end the spell.? The one next to Quatre said with a creaky voice. Quatre waited, looking at Heero.
?If it please the council, I would make a request.? Heero stepped forward. Wu Fei looked at him curiously, but nodded. ?I wish to exercise my ?right to life? that the Enchantress has granted me by doing me such an injury.? Wu Fei?s eyes narrowed. He didn?t know what Heero was doing but he could sense that it was not something he wanted.
?And why should we let you use such a thing on a human??
?In the ancient laws, does it not say that ?if the party of the first does grievous injury without provocation, then the injured party may claim equal payment from the party of the first?. There is no mention of human or dragon.? Heero gave a small smile at Wu Fei.
?However, there is no precedent for the use of the law with a human, so it becomes the decision of the council. I call a vote. Those who feel the law should apply to humans, step forward.? Only Quatre stepped forward, but he did so without a hint of hesitation. Relena felt great affection for the loyalty Quatre was showing Heero in the face of the imposing High Council. ?Now those against.? Everyone else stepped forward. ?So you see, Heero, you cannot call for her life to fall to you.?
?Then I have another request. . .? His eyes looked intense, and he hadn?t blinked in quite a while.
?Heero, no!? Quatre called out, but was silenced as Wu Fei unfurled his wings and hissed at Quatre to be silent. Wu Fei motioned for Heero to continue, an evil toothy grin on his face.
?I wish to take the Enchantress,? he gestured at her still form. ?Relena, Enchantress Peacecraft, as my lifemate.? As soon as he finished the sentence many of the dragons billowed flame or just growled. Only Quatre and Wu Fei made no gesture of surprise or anger.
?You insult us this day. If you had not been such a perfect soldier for us in the past, I would kill you and her this very moment. Do not make a mockery of our ways.? Wu Fei was no longer in the mood to play, for he may have been in a good mood before but now this was a serious thing for Heero to ask.
?I am serious.? Heero has such a perfect poker face. Relena envied him that. She wasn?t sure even she could stand up to this council, as good as she was at facing bodily harm without giving an inch. It felt as if their deaths were swiftly approaching. She began to scan through her head for a likely spell, since she was almost fully charged now. Brushing back her hair a little, she felt the edge of her wand. It was pretty tangled in, but a good rip would probably get it out fast enough. Heero continued to speak after a brief pause. ?See her neck, I have already left my mark upon her. You can guess the rest. She is mine, now give me my possession, as is my right.? Relena wanted to snap something back at him, but the intent gaze of seven toothily grimacing dragons was enough to give her a moment of pause.
?If you have done as you say, I?m afraid I must kill you sir!? The voice seemed to come from out of nowhere.
?Oh, no. . . not HIM.? Relena almost wished they had just killed her.
Treize pulled himself over the side of the plateau behind the council, soon followed by Trowa and Duo. As glad as Relena was to see that her brother had actually organized for a search party, she was not happy about one of the members. At least the tension in the air had broken, she could be grateful to Treize for that, if nothing else (and there was really nothing else.)
?Hey Princess, we?ve come to save you!? Duo said blithely as he waved. His braid was in a fair amount of disorder and all of them were smudged with dirt and sweat as they had just climbed a rather steep and tall mountain. The fact that they were even here somewhat mystified her, but Trowa?s presence probably explained most of it. Trowa was a singularly effective person; him being here did not surprise her.
?Indeed, the foolish braided one speaks the truth!? Treize looked to Relena and totally ignored the fact that he had to walk between the haunches of two large and dangerous dragons to get to her. ?Which was the one that took you, I will face him in single combat and avenge the injustice done to you, and so I swear in my name.? Relena rolled her eyes. Wu Fei wondered if this man was suicidal. Everyone else presence wondered if this man had some sort of lobotomy prior to this encounter.
?That?s the dragon that took me, Baron.? Relena smugly pointed to Heero. Heero made no motion towards Treize, he simply gave his patented death glare. Somehow, the familiarity with which Relena addressed this man made him angry, and the fact that this Treize person challenged him for Relena earned this man a slow and agonizing death (so far as he was concerned).
?You jest, fair Enchantress. That is a boy.? Heero?s eyes narrowed dangerously.
?That MAN, used to be a dragon. I transformed him and I assure you he is very much a dragon normally.? Her head cocked to one side as she watched Treize process this information. Glancing in between the dragons she watched Trowa as well, whose expression momentarily flickered with surprise before he went back to his stoic self. Duo just snickered.
?Good one, Princess. No one can say you?re going soft.?
?That?s quite enough from you Duo, I?ll have words for you later about my security.? Immediately Duo looked chastised and became very interested in the ground by his feet. Relena wasn?t really all that mad at him, she just didn?t want him to interfere. Things were complicated enough without his smart remarks as much as she liked the man.
?If what you say is true, then I challenge you sir. We shall decide this forthwith. I see you have a sword at your side, so you must know how to use it.? Treize removed his outer jacket and began to stretch. Finally, the dragons stirred.
?We will not allow this idiocy to continue. I rule we should kill them all and be rid of this trouble. All in favor. . .? Wu Fei did not finish as a dagger clattered off the back of his scales. If he did not have natural armor, he was well aware that it would have landed point first in his flesh. Turning to regard the one who threw it, his eyes widened as Trowa produced a shining green amulet set in a simple silver casing. ?No. Men have forgotten how to use such things.?
?Some men have not forgotten so that other men are allowed to.? Trowa spoke softly, as was his way. ?They will do as they will and you will not interfere, and once they are done the Princess will return with us. I am sworn by my oath to what she stands for that I will not harm you, but let?s just say I may not be so confined were she no longer here.?
Wu Fei?s eyes had the look of a powerful animal caged by fear. There was respect there too, though, and he knew when to back down. ?The sons of men have longer memories than we expected.? Trowa nodded and placed the amulet back around his neck and beneath his shirt. ?Heero shall continue with the combat then, for a dragon never declines a challenge.? He needn?t have given the reminder, for Heero would fight and win against this man and take Relena for himself, and everyone could see it in his eyes.
Relena was worried about Heero. For all his irritating behavior and stupid egotistical speeches, Treize was actually quite shrewd and even cleverer with a sword than he was in politics. She did not want Heero hurt, and she was glad that Trowa had brought the artifact with him to subdue the threat around them because at least it let her concentrate on other things, like how she could help Heero survive this. He had never used a sword. He barely knew how to dress himself. Treize would slaughter him. What a sad end for everyone. Leaving behind Treize, who was now jumping up and down for some reason as part of his preparation, Relena walked over to Heero who studied his sword and fingered his chainmail shirt.
?You shouldn?t do this.? She said, looking at him with her usual intent gaze.
?I must. I live to fight. It is my purpose.?
?I could give you a new purpose.? Relena started towards him.
?You are already part of my purpose.? He looked as if he would not say any more. She could feel him close off to mentally ready himself. Before he retreated from her entirely she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Part of her really thought he was doomed, even if she hoped he wouldn?t die.
?I still don?t approve, but good luck.? He was stunned, almost dropping his sword, and then he consciously threw down his sword and held her tightly to him. ?Can?t. . . . breathe!? She gasped. He let her go and picked up his sword again, stepping towards Treize who was fuming after that display.
Treize?s rapier was fast and soon Heero was bleeding from a dozen places, but yet he was not dead and that was some testament to his agility. The ridiculous clothes were in tatters, but the chain shirt had saved him from being hit anywhere really vital. On his own part Heero was simply trying to figure out how to be more effective. All his fighting experience had involved a tail, which was very much not there, as well as scales to protect him, which the chain shirt somewhat simulated, and teeth and claw and fire all of which were not well represented by the measly sword which was heavy and slow. How those stupid knights who attacked him hoped to beat a dragon with one, he was mystified.
Relena gasped when she realized she had been holding her breath ever since the fight began, (or rather she took in deep asthmatic sounding heaves, but she liked to think she was more delicate than that). Just as she feared, Heero was no match for Treize who had much more practice than he did as several things, such as swords fighting, or being human (the last one she was sorely sorry he had practice at.) She had to do something; she had to stop this. Heero, even if he was a lecherous, possessive, overbearing, and domineering man had actually been fairly attentive to her and kind enough in his own odd way and honestly wanted to protect her. If only she could do the same for him. She couldn?t jump into the fight, as that would endanger everyone and probably be counterproductive. Treize was so intent on destroying Heero, his focus was so complete. Maybe if she broke his focus, Heero would have a shot. Trowa and Duo, who had moved up next to her to watch the fight seemed equally focused on the action ahead of them. Indeed, not even the dragons saw her slowly saunter over to a side and fiddle around with her hair and robes. Steeling herself for what would probably be the biggest mistake of her life, Relena took a deep breath.
?This is for you Heero, even if you probably won?t understand that.? She bent down and grabbed the hem of her robes and pulled them up to her neck, effectively flashing her underwear to everyone. The only problem was that, as she had taken off her corset, which acted as a bra, there was nothing covering her chest. Relena, Queen of Sanq, Enchantress Peacecraft, etc. . .had just flashed her boobs. Needless to say, it was not a proud moment for her, and she was glad she couldn?t see anyone?s faces, initially, past her robes bunched in handfuls around her face. All sounds of movement seemed to have stopped. A low whistle sounded from somewhere and Relena made a note to put Duo on the graveyard shift every weekend for the next month. As she dropped her robes back into place, she looked at all the gaping mouths of both men and dragons with a proud glare. She would never admit to having done it, not in a million years.
Can someone die from embarrassment? She wondered to herself as her face suffused with crimson and the color made its way down. As she had hoped and gambled, Heero was the first to recover. With a wink in her direction that made her scrunch up her nose in agitated worry, she saw him sneak up behind Treize. One clumsy swipe was all he really needed, and suddenly Treize was once again alert, but without the use of his right arm. Picking up the blade with his left hand, he guarded himself once more. The battle continued and Relena again moved beside Trowa, still blushing.
?If that?s how she breaks up fights, I wish we weren?t pacifist.? Duo mumbled to Trowa, but she heard him. To her great surprise Trowa burst out laughing and continued to laugh for some time. Her blush went from rosy back to crimson again.
I wonder what would happen if we locked you and Lauren in a room together.... 