(D2 Entry) Boogie Fever

[Lauren]

Title: Boogie Fever

By: Lauren

Categories: Best Comedy, best songfic

E-mail: bishicatcher@digital-bombshell.com

Warnings: Strong tolerance for pop music references


Relena heaved a mighty sigh as she spread her arms out and let gravity work it?s magic, landing gracefully sprawled across the expanse of her plush bed, stomach up. Frowning slightly, she rolled over, propping herself on a fluffy pillow. She brushed back her bangs as she recalled the events of that day- namely a certain conversation she had had with a few of the female Preventers she spied talking in the hall on one of her visits to HQ.

**flashback**

?Hello ladies.? Relena smiled as she approached the group of giggling females.

?Hello Ms. President.? One of the more outgoing Preventer?s called in greeting.

?What are you all laughing about?? Relena asked, a lighthearted grin dimpling her smooth cheek.

?Ur?nothing Ms. President.? A quiet blonde tugged on her braid, as the group averted their eyes in embarrassment.

?Oh, come on now! Just a secret between us girls.? Relena giggled, hoping to coax the women into friendship.

The outgoing one grinned, leaning in closer. ?Well, if you really want to know- we were talking about the boy I danced with when we were out last night getting down.? She wiggled her eyebrows.

?Getting down?? Relena almost laughed at the ridiculous terminology.

The Preventer women misunderstood her reaction, however. ?Y?know Ms. President- partying. Ah, don?t worry about it. You?re probably not that familiar with boys, dancing and partying anyway. You?ve got way more important things to think about. Just ignore us silly girls.?

The group laughed, but Relena felt the stab of alienation at those words.

?Oh?I see.? She replied, feeling a bit down. These Preventor?s were the same age as her yet they treated her like?their grandma. ?Well, keep up the good work ladies. I look forward to seeing you in the future.?

?Yes, Ms. President!? They saluted as she turned heel and walked away.

**end flashback**

She heaved another sigh before sitting up. She was a young adult, wasn?t she? Who said she didn?t know how to party? Cringing, Relena realized that the only parties she had ever attended were balls with diplomats and blue bloods of the former countries of the world. She sighed. Guess she really didn?t know about partying.

But she knew about dancing! Again a wince settled on Relena?s features. Well, if waltzing and other forms of ballroom dancing counted. And it didn?t matter that all her partners were a good thirty years her senior?maybe she didn?t know about dancing either.

But boys! Relena definitely knew about boys! Especially a certain boy who had once promised to kill her. PROMISED TO KILL HER!? Yes, Relena knew about boys, but most certainly not in the conventional manner. And she hadn?t exactly ever had a typical romance either. If she even had a romance at all.

Grumbling, she rose, and stomping over to the stereo, seized her CD?s with a determined zeal.

?I?ll show them who doesn?t know how to dance and party.? She muttered, sifting through the disks in her meager collection. ?Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, Mozart, Mozart.? Relena blew out a frustrated breath. ?When did I become such a geek??

One case clattered to the floor, drawing Relena?s attention. The cover read ?Spice Girls.?

Relena groaned as she picked it up, realizing it was the only CD she owned that could vaguely pass for ?dance music.? In fact, the CD has been a poorly chosen 15th birthday gift from a distant uncle, and one she had never bothered to open. Pulling the plastic seal from the record, she caste her classical music one last mournful glance as she shoved the disk in her stereo and pressed ?play?.

**Meanwhile**

?Anyway, Heero, my man, thanks for subbing for me.? Duo gushed, shoving his guard uniform into a small backpack. ?I swear, I?ll make it up to you.?

?Duo, Hilde?s in labor. It?s okay. Really.? Heero sighed, rubbing his temples. In truth, standing guard at Relena?s door was a less objectionable task than he?d led everyone to believe. A *lot* less objectionable.

His braided companion continued his rant of gratitude, completely ignoring his friends? interjection. ?I mean, she?s already pissed her due date fell on my service time. I gotta be there for her- giving birth on the Earth is way different from delivering a child in the colonies.? He gave the station a once over before giving Heero a quick slap on the back. ?I?ll call you and let you know how the labor went.?

Heero gave a curt nod as his companion turned to leave. ?Good luck.?

?With my genes? No sweat!? Came Duo?s cheeky reply.

Leaning against the heavy oak door he knew far too well, Heero closed his eyes a moment before straightening and preparing himself for another uneventful night guarding the girl he didn?t even have enough nerve to kiss? and maybe never would.

The bass in Relena?s room began blaring.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Relena jumped around her room in spurts of uninhibited movements timed to the synthesized chords. ?What was that move again? Shake your bootay?? She gave her posterior an experimental wiggle. ?Not bad, Darlian!?

Laughing a little in exhilaration, she reveled in her newfound ?hip-ness? as she bogeyed down and partied it up. ?I could teach those girls a thing or two about this.? She grinned as she grabbed a hair brush and began singing along to the repeat chorus.

?Yoooo! I tell you what I want, what I really really want!
So tell me what you want, what you really really want!
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ah!?

Relena wailed, she jived, she harmonized, she got down and dirty, she- saw Heero standing at her doorway wearing the most dumbfounded expression she had ever seen on the stoic pilot.

She immediately stumbled and crashed into the stereo, her elbow hitting the ?Power? button. The catchy backbeat and energetic voices of the Spice Girls cut off abruptly, plunging the room into mortified silence- at least on Relena?s part.

Heero blinked. Then he blinked again. And just for good measure, he decided to blink a third time.

?What?were you doing exactly??

Relena?s face was immediately awash in scarlet. ?You weren?t supposed to be on guard duty tonight. Duo doesn?t rush in here when he hears music??

?I?m not Duo.?

?No you?re not. So *where* is he?? Relena asked, exasperation fueled by her embarrassment making the question harsher than she had intended.

?Hilde?s in labor. I came to relieve him.? Heero replied, his voice holding nothing except cool detachment.

?Is she alright??

?Who??

?Hilde.?

?Of course.?

?That?s good.?

?I know.?

?Oh?? She said, hoping that maybe, somewhere in the short exchange, Heero had forgotten he had caught her in her feeble attempt to experience the racy side of the life that was so commonly attributed to her age group.

?Relena.?

?Yes??

?What were you doing??

Relena pressed her lips together before responding. ?I was?uhm. Dancing. Partying. Living it up.?

Heero raised an eyebrow. ?I have *never* seen anyone dance like that.?

?So I?m a bit rusty!? The blonde defended, pushing mussed strands of hair out of her face, and searching for a brush to tame the unruly locks with. Belatedly, she realized it was still clutched in her fist, a reminder of *just* how stupid she had been acting. Her blush threatened to ignite.

?You?ve never been out partying, Relena.? Heero reminded her, always with his sober, matter-of-fact tone.

?There?s always a first time for everything!? She shot back.

?Do you honestly think dancing around your room singing into a brush constitutes as ?partying???

Relena bristled in anger.

?So, I?m a big dork! I know that! I?m the freak 21-year-old! Instead of a boyfriend, I have a presidency! It doesn?t mean you have to make fun of my one attempt to be normal, you stupid jerk!? She shouted, turning her back to him. A taut silence stretched between them.

How humiliating. It was bad enough that her peers saw her as some cold, lifeless politician, but Heero too? And he had caught her- god, what had she been thinking? She really was just like a grandma- passionless, benign, dull. She shook her head, feeling the prick of tears. Of all the times for it to suddenly start bothering her. The footsteps pattered in the room and Relena let her shoulders slump. ?That?s right, Heero. Hopefully you?ll just walk away again and act like this never happened.?

She jerked her head up as she felt a warm, rough hand descend on her shoulder. Looking over her shoulder she saw Heero standing behind her, wearing an amused smile.

?Relena?I?ve never been out dancing or partying either.?

She blinked away her tears in surprise, turning slowly to face him.

His smile gentled, and without letting it falter, he took one of her smaller hands in his own and reached behind her to press the ?Power? button on the stereo.

~*~*~*~*~*~

?Duo-mino?s Pizza, how can I help you?? Duo greeted the caller on his cell phone.

?Get over to the presidential estate *now*, Duo.? Trowa?s cool baritone floated over the connection.

?Aw man, Tro, can?t it wait? I got Heero to sub for me! Hilde?s just gone into the delivery room, and I want to be here when she comes out.?

?Trust me, my friend. This is worth it. I guarantee you, you?ll be back in time to see your child and Hilde.? There was a hint of dark mischief in Trowa?s voice that immediately had Duo?s ears perking up.

?Well?when you put it that way?I?ll be there in a few minutes.?

~Thirty minutes later ~

?Alright, Trowa, this had better be good.? Duo groused as he picked his way through the thicket surrounding the Brussels Presidential Estate.

?Just look through that window, and you?ll understand.? Trowa assured him.

Duo gave Trowa a suspicious glare before peeking over the ledge of the window straight into Relena?s room.

?Oh my god.? He choked, desperately trying to keep his laughter contained.

?I told you.? Trowa nodded wisely, a helpless grin lighting his face.

?I never knew Heero could shake it that well?Are they listening to Spice Girls!??

?Forget Heero, I never knew *Relena* had it in her!? Came a different voice from the bush next to them.

?Wufei??? Duo asked incredulously.

There was an arrogant snort that answered his question as well as any affirmative confirmation.

?I thought you were on L3 with Po.? Duo shot the chinese man a suspicious look.

?I have my ways.? Wufei replied enigmatically.

?Two people shouldn?t be able to move like that with their clothes still on.? Trowa commented, drawing Duo?s eyes back to the window.

The God of Death eyed his backpack, a dark smile lighting his face. He unzipped the small bag and dug around a few minutes, finally grinning in triumph as he hoisted up a small digital camera.

?I was saving this for when I first saw the baby?but?I think this might be just as good.? Duo chuckled, and pressed ?record? as he secured it in the foliage. The little red light blinked as it drank up the images displayed in Relena?s room.

Duo grinned before saluting his fellow Gundam pilots. ?This night will live on in infamy, gentlemen.?

?Amen.? Wufei and Trowa agreed.

Completely unaware of the recording device or his fellow Gundam Pilots, Heero grabbed Relena by the hips and hefted her up, giving her a first kiss so good it would go down in the history books- not to mention a little black videotape discreetly labeled ?Boogie Fever.?

~*~*~*~ THE END ~*~*~*~*~

AN: Funny, or disturbing? You be the judge!

[wicked]

Spice Girls = disturbing. Or was it the fact that I remembered the song, it's beat, and the video in it's entirity?

The fic as a whole = hilarious!

Oh my, that sure gave my gullet a good shake.

Good job Lauren! ^_^

~Wicked

[Lauren]

Hey thanks! ^_^ I'm glad you got a good laugh! I know the whole "dancing and getting caught" plotline has been done before, but I just had this mental image that was *dying* to be written. ::grins:: I'm so happy you enjoyed it and thanks for the reply ^_^

[deep_blue]

Ohmigod! I couldn't stop giggling when I read this! Sooo funny. Especially like it that Heero can "shake it" really well. *wink*

[cherryflavored1R]

Ok, first, let me say that when I was... oh, say eleven years old, I owned that CD. Scary. Second, let me say that this was truly a job well done, Lauren. Very funny. Although I'm sure a sequel beckons for a later date...

By the way, here's some thing to ponder: when Gundam Wing first became popular in Japan (95), we were over here listening to The Spice Girls. Whoa.

-Cherry

[zapenstap]

'95? Is spice girls THAT old? Hey, I liked that song. I'll admit it. I was in... 9th grade I think. I didn't think it was great music, but yeah, i liked it. I don't remember it very well now, but it had a "girl power" thing goin' on and the spice girls wore...interesting clothes. And you know, they it made it overseas and was on the radio a LOT so...

Oh the fic? You want a review of the story? not the song? Oh, okay.

simple, but funny. I like funny dialogue. The bit about Hilde in labor. "Who?" oh. That was great. Heero and Relena dancing...partying... I've thought about it. Heh heh. Might be interesting. Definitely funny.

[Symee-Sama]

Relena and Heero dancing to spice girls... I can just picture it. I was eight when they were popular... yikes! I woke up my brother with my laughter. Great fic!

Symee

[Morrighan]

Oh my Goddess... That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

*raises her eyebrow* Well... You know... I think the proper term for that type of dancing is called "freaking"... Never actually done it before, but that's just me...

Great job!!

[Scilja]

<snickers> If only I could get a hold of that vid...<cracks up> Shake that booty! Well done, Lauren! Comedy is a difficult task to put into words, but bygod, you did it and you did it wonderfully! But did it HAVE to be Spice Girls? <shudders>

[Kaili Charmer]

oh man, Spice girls?
...yes, that would put me at eight lovely years of age when they were around...WHOA, we're gettin old!!
I liked this one, couldn't stop laughing my a...butt off. And i don't know why, but when Wufei was also in the bushes lookin, i was rollin even harder!