Second Semester
Chapter Eleven
"There’s tension in the air..."
By early March, the cold of February had melted away to a crisp, new spring. Already, new sprouts of green were appearing on the long-bare branches of plant life. It looked as though the darkened, cloudy days of winter were finally over, revealing everything the season of rebirth had to offer…including—much to Hilde’s displeasure—the lovebirds.
The dark haired girl grumbled. “If I have to see another hand-holding, eyelash-fluttering, smoozy-face couple, I am going to seriously hurt someone,” Hilde said with hands clenched as she and Sariah passed yet another pair of love struck students who obviously had no problem with PDA.
“Oh Hilde,” Sariah sighed. “Tis the season of love.”
“Not for everyone,” Hilde sighed as they headed in the direction of The Unicorn.
Sariah gazed sadly at her roommate, but then a glint of mischief appeared in her eye. “So you never figured out who the white rose was from, huh?”
“It’s still a mystery,” Hilde explained. “I mean, this may seem silly, but I thought it may have been Trowa.”
“No!” Sariah said softly, doing her best to feign polite surprise, when really she was bursting on the inside. Anyone could have guessed the gift was from the mysterious green-eyed boy himself. But still, Hilde could not see his interest in her, blinded by her own self-doubt and confusing feelings. Sariah thought it best to let the matter reveal itself in its own good time, and thus was forced to quietly listen to Hilde’s ponderings, offering advice when asked, but never giving too much away.
“Well, he is a good friend,” Hilde conceded. “I even brought it up, you know. Which, might I add, was about the most awkward thing I’ve ever had to do. I mean, can you imagine me telling a guy like Trowa about a Valentine’s rose, much less trying to figure out if he was the one who had given it to me?”
Sariah giggled. “That does make for one hilarious mental picture.”
Hilde continued on with her story. “I honestly wasn’t sure he even knew that Valentine’s Day had occurred the way he just blinked at me. You should have seen it, Sariah, his face was completely blank. I guess I should’ve known. He doesn’t seem like a big romantic, even though he can make a girl melt during a slow dance,” she admitted.
Sariah just smiled. “Maybe there are still things you don’t know about him.”
Hilde snorted. “Yeah, that’d be pretty much everything. The more I get to know him, the more he puzzles me. Besides, I don’t see him very much anymore. Not after--” she faded away a bit. In her mind, she thought about the evening at Little Italy, in front of the fountain, he seemed so very close, and in a moment, whatever had passed between them was gone. The girl then brought her mind back to the present and only finished her statement with, “after lacrosse season started, you know. It’s very intense.”
“Yes,” Sariah said quietly. “That’s why--” she started; she was never good with surprises. “That’s why I didn’t think you’d mind if I invited him to our Sunday study sessions at The Unicorn. I hope it’s okay with you. Quatre is the one, actually, to blame. He seemed a bit worried. He thought Trowa might be in need of a friendly face. The lacrosse season does require a lot of extra time and effort, plus schoolwork, fending off the crowds of adoring fans, and lately, some Preventers’ work.”
Sariah’s whole statement had caught Hilde completely by surprise, but the last piece was particularly of interest to the girl. “Preventers’ work? Is something the matter?”
“I’m not sure,” Sariah said. “But Quatre’s been called to Headquarters a couple of times. With the former Gundam pilots working on the case, I’m sure everything will be solved in no time,” the girl smiled.
“I hope so,” Hilde breathed as they turned on to the street that led to the coffee shop. Hilde was so glad Quatre and Sariah were hitting it off. They had now been officially seeing each other for the past few weeks and were about the most adorable couple Hilde had ever seen.
After a short period of silent thoughts the girl spoke up once more, “It will be good to see Trowa again,” she said, as if finally deciding her feelings on the matter.
“I’m glad you think so,” Sariah responded softly. “And you know, Hilde, even if it wasn’t Trowa who gave you that rose, it’s still nice to know there’s someone out there who cares.”
“Yes,” Hilde said, a smile finally gracing her features, “it does make the world a little closer to something of a fairytale.”
~*~*~
The meeting had been a little awkward, but Hilde congratulated herself on her composure, now that the whole ordeal over with.
It would have been hard for any woman to not freeze at the sight of Trowa Barton, who sat serenely next to a sun soaked window of their favorite coffee shop. The golden light played upon his well-toned body--easily admired under a thin, white cotton tee--and reflected upon the bronze highlights of his hair. The lean muscles of his arms were more defined because of the sport season, and his tanned face looked a bit weary, but still as handsome as ever.
Any other girl would have been breathless when an emerald eye focused its sole attention on her, looking as beautiful as liquid green glass melting under the penetrating rays of light.
But somehow, Hilde nervously swallowed and managed to put on her usual smile as she and Sariah approached the magnificent male specimen.
They talked pleasantries before burying their noses among their books. Hilde couldn’t help but notice how Trowa seemed more distant than usual, as if all those times they had spent together previously had never happened. Perhaps it was just that the span of time since their last encounter was a little too long, and he needed some warming up to.
She tried to ask him some Mechanics questions, but he answered them with a minimal amount of words. Hilde couldn’t help but grow sad at his aloof manner. How could a boy who was basking in sunglow have grown so cold?
Hilde was glad when the afternoon was finally over. Sitting next to Trowa, who, besides reverting back into his statuesque personality, being clad only in a flimsy white T-shirt had to be about the biggest study distraction the girl had ever encountered!
~*~*~A few days later~*~*~
It was raining. Perfect.
“I just have to be coming out of the furthest class from my dorm!” Hilde threw her arms up in exasperation and glared at the pesky droplets while filing out of her Mechanics class, which was in fact on the complete opposite site of campus from her cozy suite.
It was days like these in which Hilde felt she should be able to curl up on a pillow filled bed. She wanted nothing more than to listen to the rain while admiring the refreshing green of the trees and grasses out her window, which the gray of the sky always seemed to make more brilliant. And that was exactly what she intended to do now that she had suffered through her last class of the day.
But, of course, because there had not been a cloud in the sky that very morning, Hilde did not have an umbrella. If only the headmasters agreed with her viewpoint that classes should be cancelled on rainy days, she would not be in this predicament.
A crowded campus bus had just pulled away, leaving Hilde to decide whether to wait out the shower, or run back to her dorm.
This time, she chose the latter. It’s not like a little rain was going to stop her from her ever-so-heavenly bed.
As she started on her journey, Hilde realized that “a little rain” may have been an understatement. A big one. Once tiny raindrops had now multiplied into plump water pellets hurling themselves towards the ground with a mission of soaking everyone trying to evade them. It was then Hilde realized running was fruitless. As water trickled down her face from her sopping wet bangs, the defeated girl came to a halt and accepted her natural shower.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Hilde took a deep breath and let the rain wash away all of her troubles. She felt a calmness overtake her, something she hadn’t felt in quite a while, and welcomed a sense of peace. She also welcomed a sudden dry sense of peace and opened her eyes to realize an umbrella was being held over head, and she turned, face to face with a rather large shoulder. Her gaze traveled up to see Trowa Barton’s face display a hint of worry on his handsome features. She eyed him wearily, wondering if he had taken off that emotionless mask he was hiding behind the other day.
“I was coming out of my dorm when I saw you run by,” Trowa explained as he walked Hilde back to her dorm under the shelter of his umbrella and a protective arm, wrapping part of his long, black raincoat around her. “I thought you might need some help getting back.”
“T-thanks, Trowa,” Hilde stammered, for she could barely contain her surprise when Trowa held his arm around her in an extra effort to shield her from the heavy rain. She was now huddled in the crook of his arm, trying to not completely go weak in the knees as she walked with him.
But Trowa took her answer differently. “You must be cold,” he said, as he pulled her closer to him. Hilde almost burst and she pressed against the side of body, feeling muscles underneath the fabric of his shirt. She could smell something spicy, like apples and cinnamon, and unconsciously nuzzled closer to the warmth of her companion.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately,” he said gently, barely a whisper over the sound of the rain. This was the Trowa she used to know, not that lifeless being who met her in the coffee shop.
“You always seem to appear at just the right times, though,” Hilde said, trying her best to act like her usual light-hearted self.
She looked up at him, though his gaze was firmly focused ahead, and then remembered what Sariah had told her earlier. “You must be busy with the Preventers. Have you often been away on assignments?”
He chose to look down at her then, her form immediately bringing a soft smile to his lips. Yet when his gaze met her eyes, he winced a bit and had to look away. He gave a small sigh before replying, “Something like that.”
How could he tell her he had been staying away because Duo was soon to return? That it was torture to try to act indifferent towards her when he felt so much more. Only when she needed protecting like this could he let those barriers slide. But he had to be more careful. He could not afford to interfere any further…he would have to be content to be a secret admirer, and nothing more.
“Thank you,” Hilde whispered as they approached the stairwell to her dorm, feeling shy all of a sudden.
He didn’t disappear as quickly as he normally did. He seemed to stare at her a while, as the two stood in silence. Then it was as though he caught himself, and took a step back, finally nodding before twirling away, overcoat flipping gracefully behind him.
Hilde watched him go, and felt an overwhelming sadness stir within her after he disappeared into a rainy haze. The girl couldn’t understand why a tear escaped her cheek. Perhaps she never realized how lonely and empty she was until after being sheltered by Trowa’s comforting form. She had almost forgotten how good it felt to be touched by another. It was this she let her mind believe as she watched him walk away, never noticing that she had fallen for the man behind the touch.
~*~*~
Hilde normally dreaded Sundays. It was the day to frantically finish all of the assignments that she was supposed to be working on all week. But now the study times at The Unicorn proved a happier atmosphere, with friends and fuel to make cramming sessions a little less painful. And after Trowa’s kindness in the rain, Hilde was sure that whatever tear had happened in their friendship was surely on the mend.
“Sariah, we’re going to be late,” Hilde called as she stood in the suite doorway and glanced at her watch. “And this time--probably the only time--it’s not going to be my fault!”
“I’ll meet you downstairs,” Sariah called, and Hilde agreed, seeing as her roommate was busy on the vidphone with Quatre.
Hilde was just about to emerge from the stairwell, when a shadow appeared, blocking her from the lazy sun of the afternoon.
“It’s been awhile.”
The girl jumped as she found herself face to face with smiling, violet eyes.
“Miss me, babe?” Duo Maxwell purred as he swept Hilde lovingly into his arms.
“W-what are you doing here, Duo?” she gasped as he put her down and lead her to a shady spot under a cluster of apple blossom trees at the side of the building.
Hilde saw Sariah emerge and look over the forth floor balcony. The blonde girl looked puzzled as Hilde waved her on to go to The Unicorn, her other arm held by a boy with an impressive braid swishing behind him. It was then that Sariah registered the sight before her. Quatre had warned her of Hilde’s ex-roommate making an appearance. Sariah quickly scurried off to The Unicorn to inform Trowa, waiting to see how this battle of hearts would play out.
~*~*~
“’What are you doing here?’ Is that how you greet an old friend?” Duo asked her, his eyes pitifully large.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…I’m not used to visitors,” Hilde replied, trying not to melt under his smile.
“I know I didn’t get to see you as much as I should have,” Duo admitted. “But I’m here now, how do I make it up to you?”
“Duo, you can’t just…just show up here like this and expect to pick things up where we left off,” Hilde said frustrated. She didn’t realize the words would come out so harshly. She had always expected to be so happy to see him. How different this seemed from all of her dreams.
“Hilde? What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know why I came here today? I wanted you to know that the thing with Relena, it’s over. We never coulda worked out, but I guess you knew that already. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and you know what, you were the person that came to mind. I missed you, babe, more than I could bear. I wanted to know if you’d take me back.”
“Back to what?” Hilde asked, stunned at his words, yet equally stunned at her own. “Duo, this is the whole thing that’s been driving me insane. We never had anything that you can take back. I’m still your friend, nothing’s different there. What is it you really want?”
“I want you. I want your hugs. I want your love,” he told her in a quiet voice he used but rarely.
Hilde’s fire faded at his words. Her expression turned to one of sadness. “You have those things, Duo. You’ve always had them. Can’t you see?” The tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
He grasped on to her shoulders and rested his forehead against hers.
“I’ve waited for so long,” she continued, staring down at the ground. “For you to finally come back. But now, I see. I love you Duo, but…do you want me back because you love me?”
Silence.
It seemed to linger there for an eternity. She could hear his breathing, feel his grip on her arms, his head upon hers. For support. She finally realized that she was his support, but that didn’t necessarily mean she was his love. And now, it was time to find out his feelings, once and for all. She could no longer give her deepest love without any love in return.
“You know, Duo, I will never be a Relena Darlian,” Hilde said lowly.
“I know.”
More silence. That was it. That was all.
That was not the answer she was looking for, and she pulled away from him. From now on, she knew she must let him stand on his own.
“I can never live up to your outstanding ideals. That much is clear to me.”
He opened his mouth, looking rather offended, but Hilde shushed him.
“Please, it will be better this way.” She used his own words from what felt like ages ago. “All I ask is that you leave here as my friend…I can only love you as such. But if I didn’t have your friendship, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d--I’d be lost. Don’t leave me lost again.”
She felt cold. She was shivering. God, that was harder than anything she’d had to do before. And thankfully Duo wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He pulled her into an embrace and held her close.
She was the best he’d ever had…he realized this now as he felt her form, petite but solid, huggable, real. No, she was not an idol; she was a goddess in her own right. And he would respect her wishes.
Duo decided he would leave right away, his absence would soothe the pain he’d put her through…maybe even make the heart grow fonder. Perhaps then, someday, they could have that same connection they’d shared before. But the braided pilot knew he had somehow left their beautiful bond of friendship tarnished forever. He had chased a fleeting shadow, tried to tame a unicorn, leading his destiny to a point of certain failure. Luckily, Hilde had given him a second chance. And he would always love her for that.
~*~*~
She walked swiftly, though her body and mind were both numb. Her feet just seemed to walk and walk, knowing exactly where they were headed, and she let them march on towards their final destination.
Hilde felt a sense of comfort wash over her when she saw where her feet had taken her. It was The Unicorn and, glancing at her watch, she knew that Trowa and Sariah would still be there for their customary study session.
Hilde flew into the shop, and saw both of her familiar companions look up right away, the pair immediately noticing her disheveled appearance. Her eyes were placid, her hair was wild and she seemed an unhealthy shade of pale, which was countered with a bright crimson blush just touching the apples of her cheeks as a result of early March winds.
Hilde sat before Trowa and Sariah in a heap and let out a great sigh. Both of her watchers knew of the meeting with Duo, but neither said a word. They just sipped their coffee and waited. Trowa spoke only once to order Hilde’s favorite, a spiced Chai tea latte, but still sat motionless afterwards.
When the hot drink finally arrived, the aroma brought Hilde’s mind back to the present, although it had been a million miles away just moments before.
With a sip of the liquid, Hilde closed her eyes and savored the tea, purring as the steamy drink flowed down her throat, the warm feeling next engulfing her chest, and finally resting in her stomach. With new life, Hilde opened her eyes, deep blue orbs immediately met by the concerned gazes of aqua and green.
A small smile escaping her lips, Hilde knew her friends wanted to hear what had happened, and so began recounting the previous events of the encounter with Duo to Trowa and Sariah…
“…and when he said ‘I know’, something just clicked. My heart took over from then on, I can’t even remember what I said. But, in the end, he left. He left me as an old friend and nothing more,” Hilde finished the long tale with a drop of her head.
Sariah looked sympathetic after the story, and Trowa seemed deep in thought, as usual.
“What should he have said?” Hilde contemplated out loud. “If he had said something different than ‘I know’, I’m almost positive things might have taken a completely different turn.”
The room seemed to fall silent at her question.
“He should have said ‘I love you’,” Trowa stated suddenly. Hilde’s drooping head shot up, meeting a brilliant glint in Trowa’s visible, green, looking-glass eye.
Hilde then looked quickly down at the floor, slightly embarrassed, for she was positive her mouth had completely dropped open at the comment. Trowa was right. He was absolutely right.
But there was something behind Trowa’s look that Hilde just couldn’t shake. There seemed to be a flicker of passion in his stare, along with anger and confusion. There was a battle going on in Trowa’s eyes. The silent enigma was becoming more readable, and Hilde wasn’t so sure if that was a good or bad thing.
Before she could look up to study Trowa again, he had somehow made it halfway out the door, mumbling a good-bye.
“There’s tension in the air,” Sariah said quietly after Trowa had gone, “and in more than one man’s heart.”
“What is going on around here?” Hilde exclaimed.
“I should think it obvious,” Sariah glanced at Hilde, but seeing the girl was clueless, she just shook her head. “Know this—you are going to have to make an important decision very soon.”
“Huh?”
Sariah continued, “My advice to you is to look towards the future. Dwelling in the past will only cause you to lose a very important part of your life, whether you realize it now, or not.”
And with that last bit of wisdom, Sariah simply smiled and left her friend to digest the events of the day. She knew Trowa meant more to Hilde than the girl herself realized, but left the baffled youth to discover that fact on her own.
~*~*~
AN: I AM ALIVE!!!!!! Well, my exams are over, so I am free. Another semester conquered! Woooooooo!
I would like to thank everyone for their continued patience. Now that summer's here, I will hopefully be able to finish this rather soon. Those poor kids have been waiting so long to get together, haven't they? I think it's about time that they do. I expect only two more chapters or so. Thank you for all of the support. It really does mean so much to me.
~Sphinx
You seem to captivate his hotness perfectly every time!! And I love you for it!