[One-Shot ~ G] Something Borrowed

[wingzerosnuggles]

Title: Something Borrowed
Continuity: Figurative Brotherhood
Length: One-shot
Pairings: 1xR
Prompt: None
Teaser: "If you don't ask for it back, I shouldn't be expected to give it back?"
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5227951/14/ ... rotherhood
Note: Recently, I've started watching "The Big Bang Theory" and I enjoyed seeing how humor can be derived over arguing about almost nothing whatsoever. This is me trying to write out a completely pointless argument over something utterly meaningless. As expected, it's rather mundane but I gave it my best shot. *sighs*

Disclaimer: GW = not mine.

Author's Note: I'm slowly running out of applicable excerpts so this series is going to end soon. *sighs* Hopefully, the next one isn't the last one. I'll try to hit twenty but I make no promises.

Figurative Brotherhood
by mistress amethyst une

Something Borrowed

~Article 129~

If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to get it back unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

--taken from The Bro Code by Barney Stinson with Matt Kuhn, p. 114

It was an unspoken rule of Heero's never to lend something out unless he could bear never seeing that item again. Trust wasn't the issue. No matter the nature of his relationship with the borrower, there was always the chance of some random catastrophe occurring, thus prompting the loss or destruction of the leased item. The way he saw things, he was simply sparing borrowers from potentially awkward situations.

"Lemme borrow the stapler," pleaded Duo. "I can't have these triplicate things flying all over the place. Promise to bring it right back. I'm begging, buddy!"

Begging was putting it lightly. Duo was on his knees before Heero's desk, worshiping before the altar of a particularly merciless god. Eighteen hour shifts prompted mild insanity amongst most Preventers. Heero liked to think he was immune to this hysteria.

"Get your own," replied Heero. "There's a reason we have a budget for office supplies. Check the supply cabinet."

Cruelty was unbecoming but Heero simply couldn't relinquish what his comrade needed. Duo was half-tempted to steal the small pink stapler off the desk. Heero's eyes dared him to.

"It's locked, ok? We're the only ones left here. I wanna go home."

Hesitantly, Duo reached out for the stapler even as Heero's glare intensified. Heero grabbed it off his desk before Duo could lay a hand on it.

"Use paperclips," he suggested.

"You know how anal Une is," growled Duo. "She said stapled."

"That's your problem."

"You can have mine," a familiar female voice offered.

The boys turned their gazes to the open door just as Relena took a small pink stapler, identical to Heero's, from her purse.

"Princess, you're a lifesaver!" exclaimed Duo, rushing toward her while exercising enough restraint to not throw his arms around her in Heero's presence. Taking the stapler from her, he made a hasty exit.

"You still keep a stapler in your purse," stated Heero, his tone incredulous.

"Never know when it'll come in handy," she shrugged, taking her usual seat by his desk.

"You do know that you're never going to see it again."

"I did say he could have it. That was the point."

"Come to scold me?" he sighed, sinking further down into his seat.

"I assumed it was my turn," she smiled. "For once, I'm the one coming to your office past midnight."

"Asking me to come home?"

"Perhaps," she smirked. "But first, you have some explaining to do. Would it have killed you to lend Duo a stapler?"

"No."

"Then why didn't you?"

"If I lent it to him, he would have finished all his work for the night."

"And what's so bad about that?"

"In his rush to clock out, he would probably go home with the stapler. I'd never get it back."

Relena found herself pinching the bridge of her nose in dismay as she contemplated the situation.

"I would have gotten you another one," she told him.

"That's not the point."

"Then what is?"

"It's not mine."

"Not yours? I distinctly remember giving it to you a few weeks ago."

"You let me borrow it," he corrected. "There's a difference. Borrowing means there will someday be a need to return it. I couldn't afford to lose something you entrusted me with."

"But I never asked for it back. I thought you would have understood that I'd given it to you."

Heero eyed her with what resembled mild disbelief. Perhaps he wasn't yet attuned to the lesser known rules of borrowing? During the war, it had always been a matter of taking and stealing. Borrowing was out of the question when one might not live to see the next day. You can't return something when you're dead. Well, one could perhaps arrange for a document with instructions for someone to return the loaned item upon your demise but there had never been time for such trivial matters.

Heero had always understood the main point of borrowing as returning the borrowed item, thus completing the commensalistic transaction. No questions asked. Returning protocol was still a tad obscure though. He had always thought that when the loaner asked for his or her item back, that was the time to relinquish it. That had always been the system for him. It was the only way he ever got his things back from Duo. Even then, it rarely worked. Often times, Heero would simply receive an apologetic "I know I left it somewhere! I'll get it back to you tomorrow! Promise!" followed by "I think I lost it. I'll pay you back!" At this point, Heero would politely decline despite being irked. He knew very well that being a Preventer was hardly high-paying, and asking Duo for monetary compensation regarding something so petty wasn't the least bit justified.

"Is that how things are?" he asked. "If you don't ask for it back, I shouldn't be expected to give it back?"

"Well, no," she explained. "I might have just forgotten to ask for it back."

"So I should have returned it instead of waiting for you to ask me to?"

"Uh...I suppose? I would have told you that you could keep it though."

Her statement only confused him further. He had always assumed that it was the loaner's responsibility to reclaim the item since he or she had taken on the liability of lending. The borrower was expected to gauge the amount of time in which he or she would need the item and then return it at his or her leisure? Unless this system worked like a library wherein fines and consequences were imposed once the borrower went past the amount of time estimated, this hardly seemed efficient. One's possession is one's responsibility. To trust someone else with its safe return was unwise. Sure, it was optimistic and not entirely uncommon but that didn't mean it wasn't ill-advised.

He kept that same quizzical expression on her. "But wouldn't that be risky? What if I chose never to return it?"

"It's just a thing," she smiled. "I could always get a new one. If someone asks to borrow something, it means they need it. They should opt to keep it for as long as they need it or until circumstances force me to ask for its return if my need for it become pressing."

"So I should have lent Duo the stapler?"

"Well, that's your judgment call. I mean I do agree with you on not lending something you borrowed. You'd be accountable for any damage, and it's sort of a violation of trust. But then I'd already given it to you-"

"But I was unaware."

"So I guess you did the right thing then," she shrugged.

Heero simply nodded, finally getting around to stapling the pages of his report together before slipping it into a folder. "Good to know. Now, I can say I'm done for the night."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One-shot done. Ugh...I fully expect readers to be highly critical of this considering it's a bit mundane and really has no point. Still, I thought maybe some of you might enjoy it so here it is.

[stormwind16]

It does have a point actually, it goes through the wierd rules of borrowing and start to question this stupid rules. plus....I thaught it was funny

[Elyn Yuy]

Mildly confusing but Amusing none the less....

Seagull from Finding Nemo: Mine?

Heero: *aims gun at bird*

Me: