Length: Ficlet
Pairing: 1xR
Prompt: Author's Choice - High Heels
Teaser: "Women in heels have a God-given ability to defy physics. Haven't you
heard?"
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5141105/10/ ... al_Nuances
Disclaimer: GW = not mine.
Nonsensical Nuances
by mistress amethyst une
Footwear Physics
He carried her up the steps of the courthouse, her body slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She didn't bother to struggle, knowing her efforts would be fruitless. Besides, the recent downpour had left the steps rather slippery. The last thing she wanted to do was squirm and send both of them to their deaths.
She sighed. What was left for her anyway? When he put her down, her career would be over. How many photographers had gotten a shot of her being hauled up the steps by a Preventer? Would they see their vice foreign minister as a prima donna now?
She groaned. Maybe an unceremonious fall wouldn't be so bad. Her tragic demise would eclipse this embarrassment. There was also the added bonus of taking him to hell with her. At the moment, the only thing keeping her from any attempts to make him slip was the knowledge that he was very good at surviving falls. While she would probably break her neck, he would undoubtedly survive and continue lecturing to her lifeless body.
"You really should consider Preventer-issue combat boots," he told her, not missing a beat as he took each step up with annoyingly slow care. "They're built for traction."
"If they're built for traction, surely you can get up these stairs faster so I can get down," she forced out through gritted teeth.
"We can't take any chances."
"I'm running late!"
"You wouldn't be running late if you'd changed your footwear in the car as I'd advised."
"I am not going to wear your hideous boots with this suit. Are you insane? The press is here."
"What would have been less of a spectacle? A fashion don't or this?"
"I put them at the same level," she huffed.
"You really shouldn't have run, Relena. Dashing up wet stairs in high heels is insanity. The sheer physics of it is-"
"Women in heels have a God-given ability to defy physics. Haven't you heard?"
"You would have slipped and hurt yourself," he told her, ignoring her reasoning. "You could have died."
The concern in his voice was almost enough to melt her.
Almost.
"Heero, I'm not made of glass."
"I know," he replied, stopping just short of the last step. "I just don't want you taking any risks with your life. Your safety is my primary concern."
"I understand," she told him, eager to get out of his grasp. "Really, I do. Could you please put me down now? We can talk about this at length later."
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"We have one step to go."
"Then why don't you take it?"
"I want to make sure I've gotten across to you. I'm not going to let you brush me off. Next time, pack some flat shoes. Is that understood?"
There was silence on her part. Would she give in? Was she going to let him win this one? How late was she already? Oh hell...
"Relena, is that understood? We can stay here like this all day. Heavy as you are, I can stand my ground."
Did he just call her fat? Oh, it was on!
"Yes, sir," she said begrudgingly, eager to bring the pain once she'd freed herself of him.
He finally took the last step and set her down on solid ground. Before hopping off to her meeting, she impaled his foot with her stiletto. Apparently, Preventer-issue combat boots weren't all they were cracked up to be.
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Honestly, I've run in the rain in heels and I'm the clumsiest girl ever. Heero should really learn to trust a woman's God-given ability to defy physics.
>.< Too funny!
Elyn Yuy