No One Knows Who I Am (3xMU songfic)

[VioletFairychild]

More old stuff...figured I should probably post this one as well. "Somewhere" came first, but there's really no chronological order, so it doesn't matter which order they're read in. I am planning on making this a songfic trilogy and reuniting them, but it turned out to be a much larger undertaking than I had anticipated and it got back-burnered for a looooong time. I took a look at it just the other day, though, and hopefully will have it finished sometime within the, er....decade? >_< Wish me luck.

Warnings: Angsty. Really angsty.

Authors Note: "No One Knows Who I Am" is a companion fic to "Somewhere", told from Midii Une's point of view. Since there isn't any info on Midii after the Episode Zero manga she appeared in, this fic is purely speculation. None of the statements made by Midii about her life that appear in this fic are official, nor should they be taken as such.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song "No One Knows Who I Am", from the Broadway musical "Jekyll and Hyde".

No One Knows Who I Am
A fic by Vi

I must have had some sense of who I was, once upon a time. Before I became a
professional liar without her own face or name. I can still remember a time when your life seemed like paradise to me. When it seemed so wonderful, the idea of not belonging to anyone or anything but myself. I was sorely mistaken. I didn't realize that not belonging to anyone or anything also means...I don't belong anywhere.

(Look at me and tell me
Who I am
Why I am
What I am)

I am the daughter of a fallen rebel, an instrument to his final humiliation. A sister to vanished brothers. Sometimes I can't even remember how many brothers I had, or if I had any at all.
Sometimes I can't remember my true name.

Call me a fool and it's true I am
I don't know who I am)

Now I understand how you must have felt, all those years ago. I don't have a name, or a home. No one wants to know me; I am the best in my business, which means I am not to be trusted. There is one difference between who you were then, and what I am now. I had a choice.

(It's such a shame
I'm such a sham
No one knows who I am)

Why do I draw these endless comparisons? Maybe it's because you compared yourself to me, when we first met. "We are the same," you said. I didn't understand you then. I didn't understand how you, a boy with no ties and no obligations, could be the same as me, a girl with her family's fate on her shoulders. But I was a child then, and things were black and white instead of the blurry shades of grey I see now. I see that you were right all along. I am the same as you. And that makes me realize that you were the only person who has ever had an inkling of who I am. Or who I was, or who I ever will be. If I get that far.

(Am I the face of the future
Am I the face of the past
Am I the one who must finish last)

You wouldn't recognize me now. I wouldn't let you. The little girl that saved your life died a long time ago, a sacrifice to the cynicism that's helped me survive this long. Still, I have to wonder sometimes. About the kind of man you turned out to be, whether or not you found a place to call home. Sometimes I even wonder if you think about me. But that's ridiculous, expecting someone to remember one little girl from that far in their past. Even though I still think about you.

(Look at me and tell me
Who I am
Why I am
What I am)

If you hadn't left me, if you'd stayed with me instead, would things have turned out differently? This is the question I ask myself every night, before I go to sleep. I know it's unhealthy, this fixation on a boy who hasn't been in my life for almost a decade. But I can't help myself. You were the only person in the forest that day that cared whether I lived or died, and that has impressed itself on my soul.

(Will I survive, who will give a damn?
If no one knows who I am?)

Nanashi...

(Nobody knows)

What have I become?

(Not even you)

Not even you can save me this time.

(No one knows who I am)