Worth a lifetime - chapter 1

[Rixi]

AN: I do not own Gundam Wing

There have been plenty of Relena-runs-off-fanfics before but I decided
to write my own idea down. I have a couple of chapters finished but
I'm only posting the first chapter to see what you guys think of it.
If it isn't the worst thing you've ever read, I'll continue posting.

Enjoy (I hope :p)
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WORTH A LIFETIME

CHAPTER 1 - DECISIONS

A lonely bird flew by, chirping a happy tune as it swept across the window of a concrete building. It landed on the window-sill, shook the cold from its body and stretched its wings. It was a young, tiny sparrow and it peeked through the glass trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on at the other side. It twittered ever so sweetly and hopped along the length of the window-sill. So small, so innocent, so cute. It was alone and free in the big scary world.

Frankly, it was torturing Relena. The sparrow was dancing in front of her eyes, mocking her greatly. How she wished she was on that side of the window now. She had been in this meeting for quite a while now and she didn?t even know what it was about. For hours she had been bored to death as these men appeared to never want the conversation to end. God the agony she was in and the bird was having this effect on her. The same as waving a pack of bonbons in front of a toddler?s nose.

Freedom, she pondered. It would never be hers and so she was reminded over and over again. Maybe she just kept interpreting everything as a ?something? that kept her aware of that fact. Maybe it was nothing at all. Maybe she was experiencing an early midlife crisis. That could be possible right? She had been needing to act more mature than she should according to her age since she was a child. That couldn?t be without consequences surely? Or maybe she was going crazy after all. One thing she was very clear of: she couldn?t afford losing her mind right now.

Nevertheless she longed for that feeling so badly. The feeling of independence and the liberty to take only yourself into account. How she wished she could just jump up right now and run out of this office. Not caring about whatever these men would think. Unfortunately, she reminded herself, every single act of hers would have consequences that would not only affect her.

?Vice Foreign Minister Darlain, what is your opinion on this case?? Relena looked up in surprise as she was shook from her silent reverie. She had noticed the reluctance in the man?s voice. Whatever this meeting was about, it must?ve included some very delicate matters. What had they been talking about again? She remembered them talking about something important in a certain country. Well that wasn?t going to help her much. After having a glance around the room and noticing a dozen gentlemen looking at her expectantly she quickly composed herself and smiled. ?I completely agree, minister Bourne.? She answered softly and tried to appear as calm and interested as possible. The man grinned widely and moved the luxury leather chair (the very same sort that had seduced Relena into losing focus on the meeting) to stand up.

?Very well then.? The other men followed his lead and got up. ?A mobile doll unit shall be send to the area of combat, defense lines will be set up to ensure safe evacuation. Another unit shall engage combat.? At that everyone in the room started to nod approvingly. In front of their eyes, the only female minister present in the room gasped shortly but quickly recovered and nodded along. To them she was a top notch minister and they all wondered what was going on in that clever, pretty head of her.

?Let me express my gratitude towards your approval miss Relena. I have to say I never thought you would be convinced but it appears you acknowledge the necessity of armed forces in this fight.? The minister?s words were a stab in her heart. She didn?t want this at all but admitting she hadn?t paid attention was just too stupid. She got up and bowed politely before leaving the room. It was getting worse, she thought to herself. She used to put all her passion into these meetings. Now she merely watched the clock every two minutes while dreaming of things that were never to be hers.

The ride home was a silent one. She used to talk to her driver all the time. Back in the days when she didn?t look like the average politician at all. Relena Peacecraft was a vivid minister who fought for her goals with every living fiber in her body. Relena Peacecraft was a cheerful and successful woman. If she strode by, the crowd brightened. Children pointed excitedly, shrugged off their mothers and ran to her, gawking with awe.

She smiled to herself as the Sanc kingdom blurred past her. The leather seats cracked beneath her when she moved to have a better look outside. How beautiful the country was. There was no doubt about that. She loved this place and the people who lived in it. Her people. Those who depended and adored her. She couldn?t just leave them behind, could she? When the limousine rounded a corner in the city center, she saw children play at the local playground. The image crossed her as if in slow motion. As if her conscience was fuming at her, firing reasons to keep control.

Back in her mansion she decided to stay up just a little longer. A few minutes to herself. She lousily looked outside her window. It had been a bright day and now it was slowly turning dark. Twilight already. She could barely have a moment like this before the day was over. Dusk was throwing shadows onto her face. The reflection in the glass made her smile weakly. She was twenty years old now, still so young. Yet she couldn?t help but feel old and bored. What had happened, she did not know at all.

Was this really the life she wanted to have, she questioned herself. All this time she had been fighting for world peace and now that she had almost achieved it, she felt empty and confused of her point in this universe. For years she had been convinced her ideals were absolutely manageable. Age had matured her. Made her more realistic. It had dawned on her quite soon that a world without need of war was impossible. There were always people that had to settle a quarrel. Be it over land, heritage or religion, according to a great deal of men they were always solved the easiest by force.

She rested her head against the cool glass and peered outside into the growing dark. The sun would soon disappear at the horizon. The sky colored into a deep orange. She loved these views. There was such a big and exciting world out there and she was stuck in her mansion doing paperwork. They expected her to do so, making sure war is turning into a thing of the past. Or that is what people are led to believe. Like she used to believe. Did she still put her faith in those things she used to be so passionate about? What did she actually want? Was she destined to remain here forever? And as a matter of fact did they still need her?

Nothing had happened in the last five years and she was getting more and more frustrated. At this pace and in this situation she wasn?t even sure if she wanted to see her twenty-first birthday. There was just no point to this. Nothing to keep her busy and motivated. And even the man that had stirred her the most had completely vanished from her life.

When Heero had collapsed into her arms they had taken him to the hospital to recover. But the morning after he had disappeared already (obviously) and with him had gone her spirit and any spark of adventure in her life. Five years and still she hadn?t forgotten him. All that time she had pondered about his whereabouts and condition. But she had grown tired of endless nights crying over a person that didn?t care at all. All those nights and days uselessly spend. She should?ve found someone else by now, but as pathetic as she was, she had stuck to her crush.
Silly little girl.

But she had grown now and she was fed up with Heero Yuy. He had occupied her for too long and she ached for a change in this daily pace. As for world peace, she couldn?t stand hearing the word anymore. As harsh and egoistic as it may be, the word was keeping her locked in this place. Screw world peace. Relena smirked and reached up to the band keeping her hair together. With one smooth jerk she tore it from her locks and tossed it away randomly. Her hair fell loose, covering her shoulders like a long bride?s veil. She loved the sensation. It was a feeling of free will. She tensed for a moment as her conscience questioned her again. She had work to do. She was responsible for her people. However something nibbled at her determination. Something that took on the fight with her ethics. A white hot feeling that was pushing a different side of her. A side that had been asleep for a very long time. Life is too short to stay here and rust, said the troublemaker in her head.

Something snapped inside of her. Her eyes widened in shock at the beast roaring inside of her. She shouldn?t listen to it. She couldn?t answer to this burning urge, could she? The temptation was far too big. A tingling sensation erupted in the pit of her stomach. It was trying to block out her sense.

?You can run. Leave and start over?. Relana gulped as the voice spoke again. ?You can?t leave! You?re the vice foreign minister!? Her conscience yelled back. It was true. She couldn?t abandon her post. The Preventers would go looking for her immediately. What would everyone think of her? What would happen with everything she had worked for?
?Empty words?, laughed the beast. She agreed. She knew she did not care. ?You?ve always been true to your duties but what about your own desires?? A smirk spread on her lips as she was surprised by her own thoughts. Had it come this far that Relena Peacecraft would throw all caution to the wind and follow her blind will? The smirk faded as she bit her lower lip trying to figure out what to do next. Her hands balled into fists, shaking with agitation. She was desperate for answers. She glanced around anxiously as if waiting for some sign that would tell her what to choose. When none came she turned pale and looked down at her shoes. She noticed she was trembling as a gazillion thoughts were buzzing in her head. Then the beast raised its head again, fueling her want of freedom.

I must be crazy but who would truly care for my disappearance. They?ll find a replacement soon enough, won?t they? She didn?t even take time to consider this argument. She whirled around and started a sprint for the door, wiping as much papers from her desk as possible on her way. The hallway had never seemed so long before but she was determined to leave this building forever. The long skirt slowed her down and it annoyed her to a point where she stopped to rip a great deal of cloth away, freeing her legs to knee high. Running was so much easier without these menacing things.

The adrenaline pulsed through her when she reached her bedroom. She needed to change. She needed to get rid of all those things that just didn?t fit her. Suits, limousines, suitcases and any other political or luxury item that clung to her like a bad smell. She ran to her mirror, opening one of the drawers and retrieving scissors from it. Her perfect long blond hair, something she had been so proud of, had to disappear. It made her too easy to spot. Golden locks fell onto the carpet. The remaining shoulder length hair danced around her when she headed to her wardrobe. She tore the remainders of her skirt off, more than happy to bid it farewell and tugged on a tank top and some army pants. It had been a while since she had been able to wear normal clothes. They fit so comfortably that she giggled with excitement. Yet, there was still that buzzing anxiety. That fussy feeling making her alert to the fact that she was doing something drastic. Her bedroom walls were closing in on her, trying to retain her and trying to prevent her from making a fatal mistake. But she shrugged it off, leaving her thoughts blank while her legs had a mind of their own. She moved firmly and she was focused on leaving this place.

She almost forgot about poor Paegan. She smiled sadly, regretting she had to leave him for this, but quickly grabbed a note and scribbled her goodbye to him. At the end she begged him not to tell anyone the reason why she left.

Placing the note on her pillow she moved to her balcony, opening the doors wide. The night?s cold breeze touched her flushed skin. It made her heart beat wilder. As if her body decided it needed more blood to survive what was coming. A new life, she breathed. Calm down. She was going to need her focus to be able to get past the security. However she had done this plenty of times before. Escaping through the balcony had become a routine in the past year. She had needed some time outside this golden cage before. But those had been temporary flights. Just a night out to the closest town or park where she caught her breath, recovering from another day of political ravage. Always making sure she was back before dawn. If Heero would?ve known how she put herself in danger, she sniggered. But she quickly pushed the thought aside. The dark Prussian eyes invaded her mind. Relena fumed at herself. Don?t let him in! She looked behind her, a pained look on her face. The teddy bear he had given on her birthday was on her nightstand.

She stared at it, not sure what to think. It wasn?t until she tasted a salt moisture on her lips that she could mentally hit herself. Let him go, her mind soothed her. Forget him. Relena pressed her lips into a thin line as she felt her eyes brim with more tears. Angrily, she wiped them away. Breathing heavily, she composed her expression to powerful determination. Her jaw clenched as willpower took over.

Her hands touched the cold railing as she looked down into the front garden. Routine took over when she hopped to the other side of the balcony and her legs dangled into the air until she felt the stone fabric of the window beneath her. Soon she was on its window sill reaching to the tree close to her. The old oak had been here before the very mansion was built. It was strong and big, providing shadows for her in summer when she read a book beneath it or when she needed the camouflage to escape security cameras. It was perfect for her getaway right now. Security had wanted to bring it down as it blocked all views on her balcony. Relena, knowing the advantages the tree gave her, had prevented that from happening.

She took hold of the closest branch and swung her right leg around it. Laying stomach down now, her eyes staring into the depth beneath her, she crawled backwards until her feet touched the trunk. A split second she rested against it, the cold of the wood invading the cloth fabric at her back. But soon she was moving down the tree, reaching the grassy ground beneath it. She was out again. Looking up at the now starry sky, she breathed in the fresh air and smiled. She had made another successful escape.

But she wasn?t coming back this time.

CHAPTER TWO >>
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Hope you liked it. Comments, suggestions... fire away.

[NenaKR]

Sounds like you've got something really good here . I'd like to see how you write dialogue between the characters, because you didn't have an opportunity to do that in this chapter (except between Relena and the politicians). I hope you decide to post the rest up.

[Rixi]

Cheers for the response.
I'm working on the 2nd chapter. It still needs a lot of editing.
I'll post it as soon as I can.

[Ice_Vixen]

i look forward to seeing where you go with this. I am intrigued. keep 'em comming