Adams and Eves [ficlets, 1/5]

[schizoid_sprite]

A/N: Humor/friendship-themed ficlets written for 5sentence_fics at LJ. Various characters. Words in parentheses are prompts.

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The Other Guy (Override)


Oh, so the rumors had finally reached him, Relena thought slyly, noting the little earthquake in the coffee cup that Heero held. ?Yes, I do sleep with him?in my office and at home?and I have to say I?m very grateful that you introduced him to me.?

Her lips twisted up into a toothy smile when he flashed an astonished expression, and for the first time in a long time she felt accomplished that she managed to shock him again.

?Oh,? she crooned, ?you don?t know how he missed you, Heero?after you left him on that plane seat for my sixteenth birthday, he told me that you deserved castigation harder than having your card for me ripped in front of your face.?

He was baffled at first, and when Relena brought the ?other guy? out for them to have a little reunion, he couldn?t help but give a short gulp of laugh and a mock punch at the stuffed toy?s tummy.

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Bathroom Noises (Hot Water)


She could hear Duo?s moans from the other side of the bathroom wall, the loud splashes of water in a tub that suggested it has more than one occupant, and?to her greatest horror?feminine sighs and giggles.

Hilde barely heard the two quick raps at the door, and with her eyes stinging with tears and soap bubbles, she threatened whoever the knocker was to get the hell away from her and use his own room?s loo.

?Uh, Hilde, it?s me,? came Duo?s voice, ?I?m just wondering if I can use your bathroom when you?re done? Mine doesn?t have any kind of tub, and the shower valve?s screwed up.?

It took Hilde a moment to answer, and with a bright scarlet smearing her cheeks and neck, she stared hard at the still ?noisy? wall and spattered water across its tiled surface.
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Culinary Mishap (Oasis)


Catherine has been replaying the recorded tape of last week?s episode of that cooking show?Oasis: Flavours of the East?for three straight nights now, and not one living thing that ever stepped into her trailer?s kitchenette ever liked it. It was true that Trowa could make his face incredibly impassive?much to everyone?s awe?while his sister turned him into a taste test machine, but frying his tongue permanently useless was definitely not in his plans. So when Catherine served him her twelfth try at perfecting the nasty-smelling liquid she called pumpkin porridge, Trowa launched his mission: impossible for the night?an attempt to erase all of her culinary interest and transfer the kitchen to someone else?s hands.

?Catherine,? he said offhandedly, letting his face convolute in disgust for the first time after swallowing a scoop of the food, ?has anyone ever told you that the only kitchen utensil that you?re very good at handling is the knife??

Catherine picked up the implication easily, and when Trowa felt the palm of her hand smash across his cheek, he had to make sure that he hadn?t lost his memories again.

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Fairyfloss (Illusion of Control)

Since the day he mastered the Zero system, Quatre could see people?s auras clearer than before: Heero?s was a nimbus of yellow electric-like projections, Relena wears a crown of white light with bluish comet-shaped sparks, and on Trowa?s head was a halo of mint green glow with occasional white specks. He could see everyone else?s personality and emotions in their ?light hats?, but for some reason, he could never see his own.

Once when he attended a charity luncheon, he caught sight of a fulgent cotton candy glow floating amidst the sea of unwholesome politician haloes?and was shocked for not being shocked at all when he found out that it was hovering over Dorothy Catalonia?s head.

He invited her to the dance floor, and while they waltzed he couldn?t help but notice that she was staring intently at something over his head.

?Cotton candy pink,? she snorted disdainfully, and suddenly he remembered that Dorothy, too, has mastered controlling the Zero system before.


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Ego Wall (Tag Team)


?I wonder why you never told me anything about this,? Sally cheerily mused as she stared up at Wufei?s ?ego wall?, the vast white space heavily festooned with oversized medals, laminated certificates and awards, and some framed photographs that feature the brunette Chinese with his masters and teachers.

Wufei shrugged, ?I just don?t feel the need to chatter about my ?braggables? to my partner. It might affect our tag-teaming strategy?it?s not very easy to establish it with a woman like you.?

Sally chuckled at the frank statement as she lifted her teacup and said, ?A toast for humility, honesty, and justice.?

?I?d drink to that,? Wufei snickered, raising his own cup to hers.
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