Out Of My Mind 2/? (AU GaaSaku)

[AngelOfDeath]

It was a oneshot. And then it became something more.

Haven't updated in a while, so I decided to get off my butt and do so, even if the editing issue hasn't gotten a jot better.

I decided I?m going to try to approach these like I did a project a while ago, with vignettes rather than an actual story with plot. I had no plot worked out, so this seems like a fun idea to experiment with again. See where it takes me. Target number of words for each scene will be 1-3,000 so don?t expect huge updates in this weird little piece.

Tell me what you think. I?m listening. (That sounds ominous, doesn?t it? Feh.) Eventually I may actually end up with an accurate enough portrayal of how I feel Sakura and Gaara should act and then I won?t feel so insecure about writing about them. A girl can hope. As of now, they elude me.

Disclaimer: (See part 1)


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?They?re staring at you.?

?No, you?re staring at me. They are all clearly staring at you, and I just happen to be next to you.? Sakura didn?t feel like confronting this issue with him because it was pretty darn clear that she was not the one in bondage pants and a loose hanging straight jacket. He had more straps flinging around him than a person preparing to sky dive. If anyone was going to garner attention from the people walking by, it would him. Again, his perceptions seemed to be screwed up.

Gaara made a noncommittal but clearly unconvinced grunt.

This was all Naruto?s fault, Gaara?s sudden possessive focus, because before there was the simple confidence that she was his. It had been an aggravating bit of ego, but she figured it was born of insecurity, and she would give him some time to realize she wasn?t planning on running off and that he didn?t need to worry.

It had been too soon for them to encounter one another, Gaara and Naruto, and although it could have gone worse she had honestly thought that it might have had a chance to go well. Maybe her estimation of Gaara?s tolerance for people was a little too high. Just because he wanted to see her didn?t mean he was ready for more company than that. Particularly loud, nosy, blond company.

?Well, he was staring at you.? Gaara?s eyes flicked to the side and Sakura swiveled her head to catch a young man quickly averting his eyes.

?I?m not having this conversation with you. Yes, sometimes men will look at me. Don?t you look at pretty women when they pass by?? As soon as the question was out, she realized she didn?t want him to answer it. Her inner demon burned with curiosity and prepared the anger that would follow the inevitable answer.

Gaara didn?t respond with any words at all. A fluttering feeling at her waist and then again at her fingers told her that Gaara had moved closer so that his arm was brushing against her. In fact, he might have been trying to put a hand on her waist. The strange nature of their physicality, hesitant and aggressive in turns, still made her head spin. It was like Gaara had all these unspoken rules he had set up for interaction in his head but they didn?t quite work around her anymore. She wanted to be compassionate about his indecision, but not being able to even hold his hand for a prolonged period of time was oddly annoying to her.

Firmly, she grasped the fingers near her hand and immediately his cold palm became clammy. Soon, he was going to jerk away, she knew, but at least she had taken his mind off of other people?s supposed interest in her. It amazed her that he could be that cold, as always, but she had a feeling that it was her fault these days for dragging him into well lit crowds of ?normal? people. She wasn?t brave enough yet to walk back into his brother?s club, and Gaara was tolerating this assault on his comfort zones with varying degrees of threatening behavior to those around them.

However, he had not taken any of his anxiety out on her yet. Sakura tried to remind herself of that as he jerked forward and out of the loose confines of her hand. He?d do something to cover up his action in a moment. Sakura knew the pattern, after a couple weeks of this.

Sure enough a cigarette materialized in his hand. He was smoking more, it seemed to her, since a week ago. It was probably to cope with the stress she was putting him through. Gaara was walking a thin line with this social business.

?Smoking isn?t good for you.? She had to do her part, as her chosen profession didn?t exactly smile on that lifestyle choice.

?Neither is nagging.? He was cranky. But she didn?t need to take this. Sakura wasn?t the one who had been getting in people?s faces left and right tonight.

?I?m not kissing you if you taste like an ashtray.? Gaara looked into her eyes and Sakura forced herself not to be intimidated by the glint in his eyes. Most of the time she thought she was safe, but tonight . . . ?I mean it.?

His eye twitched and then Gaara blew out the puff of smoke he had taken in. Gaara held up his hand only to put the cigarette out on the flesh at the heel of his palm to her horror. ?Happy now??

?What are you trying to prove to me?? It felt like they were one step away from making a scene. People were walking by trying to not to stare as it was. She tried to grab at his burned hand, but he evaded her efforts. ?Stop that!?

?Don?t make a big fuss over nothing.? He breezed ahead of her, cool as could be again.

Her heeled sandals clattered against the pavement as she jogged a bit to keep up with him. Both of them were fuming now, and people just exiting restaurants in this district were giving the two of them a wide berth. She thought she had caught up to him when he reached a crosswalk, but he didn?t even pause and walked out into the street. A car started to go, bumped to a stop, honked, and then she had the rare pleasure of seeing the driver yell something at Gaara?s skulking form. It was a good thing Gaara wasn?t listening to anything at the moment, or else that poor man would have been in a sticky situation involving Gaara and a bladed object before he could even get out the words ?assault and battery.?

Sakura waited, tapping her foot, as traffic flowed past and then began to run as soon as she could safely cross. He was three blocks away but seemed to be slowing, because she was catching up to him. The district turned residential fairly quickly and the traffic lessened to a dull roar in the background. Streetlights illuminated his white coat when he passed though, and she finally caught him in a pool of orange light, her breath slightly panting from the jog.

?Just leave me alone.? Gaara growled, but he had also stopped moving when she had grabbed onto one of his many handy straps. The metal link that held the strap onto his pants clinked as he turned to look at her, his eyes narrowed, black pits in the shadows.

?I?m not going to do that. I?m nothing else if persistent. You should get used to that.?

?It seems like I have to get used to a lot of things.? He made no move toward or away. ?Are all your friends like that? Is every outing going to be an interrogation??

They were getting to the meat of the matter. ?Look, Naruto didn?t know what he was saying. You were both angry. . .?

?That doesn?t matter. Let me go.?

Sakura shook her head, feeling how her nicely pinned up hair was now flopping a little. The fates could have at least been kind enough to let her look pretty when she needed to get him as close to happy as she could again. ?No. No disappearing when you feel uncomfortable. That?s too convenient.?

?See? He?s right.? She was really confused, but then Gaara continued and Sakura felt her face relax in understanding. ?This isn?t going to work. Go back to your friends and leave me alone.?

?So just because my friends don?t accept you. . . yet, I might add. . . you think I?m going to leave you?? That made her mad. ?You?re a jerk as well as an idiot.?

He grabbed her wrist, and she refused to allow him to threaten her into dropping the strap. Gaara?s hand was still clammy and he was shaking, but he wasn?t hurting her in any way. ?I?m not stupid, Sakura, I know what I am. Your friends see it. Why don?t you? It?s only a matter of time before they convince you.?

Sakura held back the slap she wanted to give him. On the one hand it would be really satisfying, and a dramatic way to make her point about how he should come to his senses. On the other hand, initiating violence with him when he was like this could only end in tragedy. She had handled lots of dangerous substances before, in labs, and she just needed to treat him like another unstable substance. Go slow, don?t lose your temper if it isn?t reacting properly, and make sure you get the results you need before you put it away for the day.

?Do you want me??

?What?? It was startled incredulity. That was better than anger.

?You aren?t dating my friends, you?re dating me. And I thought we were doing pretty well. Was I wrong??

He looked past her, his eyes still hidden, and shook his head. She moved forward, gently twisting her wrist out of his hand, and brushed the hair back from the tattoo on his forehead.

?Then I don?t see a problem. Leave my friends to me. You worry about this.? She drew his arms around her body securely. ?Think of it this way, I?m sure your friends will think I?m just as freakish.?

That actually brought a smile to his face. ?Not likely.?

A smile was good. That was getting somewhere. ?But you have to admit, when Naruto asked you if your intentions were honorable, ?not really? was not the answer he was expecting.?

Gaara snorted. ?It wasn?t any of his business what my intentions are or were.? His arms tightened around her and she smelled the faint cigarette smoke and musty jacket odor. She looked down at it and saw some of the stains on the sleeve. A part of Sakura balked at the sight of the stains but she knew that pulling away and ruining this rare peaceful moment would be a bad idea.

?You didn?t get this jacket at a real mental institution, did you??

He tensed. ?And if I did??

?Then we?re getting it dry cleaned tomorrow.? So much of him was closed off, an unknown quantity, but Sakura had always had a burning need to know more than was good for her. The tension eased out of him, and he melted onto her. He sagged for just a second, almost in the limp posture of total relief, but Gaara never found repose for long and Sakura felt his warm body leave all too soon.

?You should have run when you had the chance.? Gaara said as they began to walk back, hands occasionally brushing like before. She wasn?t going to make him hold her hand like before, at least not tonight.

?I did run.?

?I meant in the other direction.? He rolled his eyes and stuffed one of his hands into his pocket, fiddling with his knife she didn?t doubt. A nervous habit of his she?s noticed.

?I knew what you meant.?

There was silence until they got back to where all the people were walking about on this summer evening. The stares Gaara garnered didn?t seem to bother him now, since people watching him with wary faces seemed to be something he had long ago grown accustomed to. Coffee shops, restaurants, and the odd clothing place or two were still open and Sakura looked in windows and wondered what it would have been like to have a ?normal? relationship.

Boring. Her brain piped up.

Well, with Gaara around things were certainly interesting. A man bumped Gaara?s arm on the way past and Sakura watched the hapless passerby apologize for a full minute before she pulled away Gaara out of his concentrated unblinking stare that had the young man stuttering. Sakura tried to stifle her giggle, but didn?t manage it.

?What?s so funny?? Gaara didn?t seem to have a sense of humor she could detect, which only made moments like this even funnier. But the fact that he was back to his stale monotone meant that he was diffused for the night, at least. She stopped them, looked up at the sign next to them, and shook her head.

?Nothing. I?ll tell you later. Let?s get a cup of coffee and I?ll examine that hand of yours.? Sakura gave Gaara a quick kiss on the cheek. He shrugged and followed her in, running his fingers over where her lips had made contact absently.