AN: It's a bit longer this time
Pairing: 3xR
Spoilers: None
Rating: R due to coarse language and sexual references
Mercenary Relena Chapter Five
by Wicked Child
Meanwhile, back at the lion?s cage, Trowa sat in a companionable silence with his feline friends all the while not knowing that somehow, someway a death warrant had been issued against him.
?Tell me,? he began talking to his lion. ?Why would the biggest harbinger of pacifism come to a former mercenary and ask to become one herself? What would she be gaining by our mini-lessons? True she would learn how to take care of herself but I have a hard time believing that she could ever live without the protection of a bodyguard of some sort.?
The lion looked at his human friend and yawned. He rarely spoke, but sometimes when he did, it was rather boring.
?But she did lose a bet against me, so if for nothing else the weekend wasn?t a total waste.? Trowa smirked at the memory of how the bet came into being.
?We?ll be sleeping out in the open for the next three nights. No tents, just the jackets I brought along.?
Relena gaped at her new teacher. Only jackets? No tents? No presidential suite with a lovely king size bed and people waiting on her left and right? Suddenly Relena began to rethink her need to become brave and just continue with her original plan on committing suicide.
?Is something wrong Relena?? Trowa asked her as he began to make a small fire between them.
?No tents??
?No tents.?
?No blankets??
?No blankets.?
?No room service??
?No room service. Just you, me, some jackets, this fire, and the woods.?
?Did I bother to tell you today that I hate you??
?Actually yes you did. But my night wouldn?t be complete without another reminder. Thank you.?
?Smart ass.?
?If my ass was so smart I could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell you what flavor it was without looking at the label.?
Despite herself, Relena had to laugh. Trowa?s humor was reminiscent of Duo but Relena found herself laughing more at the taller man?s jokes than those of Duo?s which seemed to come from a practiced ease. Relena honestly believed that Duo practiced in front of the mirror trying his jokes out on himself before throwing them out for his friends to politely laugh at. Well at least that?s how she was.
?So three whole days on the ground.?
Trowa nodded in affirmation.
?What about wild animals? You know bears, mountain cats, wolves, snakes, owls?.?
?Owls??
?You never know.? Relena shrugged. She was up for roughing it but not at the expense of her life. If anyone was going to take her life, it would be her own doing not some wild animal.
?If any sort of wild animal comes along, I will deal with it.? Trowa handed her a candy bar. ?Dinner?s ready.?
Relena took the candy bar and inspected it thoroughly. Her actions reminded Trowa of Heero when he first had a candy bar. Relena herself had never truly been allowed to gorge herself on candy growing up in the Dorlian household. Only healthy food for her!
Trowa couldn?t help but laugh at his companion.
?What?? she asked. ?What?d I do??
?Nothing.?
?Well something made you laugh. Was it the leaf that fell or me? I want to know.?
Trowa shook his head. She was so demanding, no wonder peace had lasted this long. The Vice Foreign Minister?s temper alone would make anyone rethink war.
?It?s just that you?re so soft. You?ve never truly had to rough it a day in your life, not even when Mariemaia kidnapped you.?
?I am not soft!? Relena was indignant. How dare he call her soft and insinuate that she was incapable!
?Yes you are. You have yet to be hardened the way I am. If we were both put into this forest at the same time but not together, I would surely make it out alive while you would have to wait until someone came and rescued you.? He wasn?t saying to be mean, he was just being honest. There weren?t too many places in the world where Relena Dorlian could survive without the assistance of another human being.
?I am not soft,? she said threateningly.
Trowa raised his pierced eyebrow. ?Would like to make a wager??
?What kind of wager??
?If you can survive the next three days without complaining about the lack of accommodations then?.?
?You get to be my bitch for a whole week, without complaint no matter what I do to you,? Relena finished for him.
Trowa?s eyes narrowed. ?Fine. But if you do complain, just one little itty bitty thing, you have to get a body piercing in the perfect spot of my choosing.?
Without really thinking about his end of the bet, Relena agreed and the two shook. She wasn?t going to lose. She wasn?t soft and she would prove it. Now if only she could think up some devious activities for her future bitch.
Trowa knew she wouldn?t win the bet. Being her bitch was only something she could dream about. The truth was the girl was very soft. There was no way she could win. Now if only he could think of the perfect part of her body to get pierced without tarnishing her image too much.
~Two days later~
?We?re going to sleep where?!?
?In the tree.? Trowa pointed at the large oak they were standing next to as though she might be a little dense.
?I don?t think so clown! You have had me sleeping on the ground for two days, my body hurts, I?m cold, underfed, and thoroughly pissed off. I am not going to sleep in a damn tree for your amusement!?
Trowa looked at her for a moment then spoke. ?So you concede??
?Concede to what?? What the hell was he talking about now?
?I know the perfect place for a body piercing.?
Relena?s eyes widened in disbelief. ?No,? was all she could think of to say. She lost the bet. He won. The fantasies she?d been encouraging for the past two days shattered. There would be no lubed up Trowa in a thong serving her breakfast next to the pool. There would be no Trowa with a collar and leash escorting her to her upcoming birthday party. No, there would only be pain for wherever Trowa deemed satisfying. ?Bastard.?
?And here I thought only Heero was a bastard. Are there any membership fees? My current job doesn?t pay me well enough to pay union dues.?
In the end Trowa didn?t have her pierce anything on her body that would cause a serious rift between teacher and student. He settled on her tongue, knowing that all the stiff-necked diplomats would concentrate on her whenever she spoke. What was that glinting off her tongue? Whatever could it be? Trowa laughed in spite of himself.
?Trowa!?
He turned and saw Catherine waving at him. ?What?? he asked irritably. He had been having fun thinking about his student and now he was interrupted by his ?sister.?
?Phone call. It?s that woman again.?
Trowa followed his ?sister? to his private quarters and took the call.
?Pinky.?
?Two-bit clown.? Relena looked irritated, even more so than when she lost the bet.
?What?s going on??
?I?m irritated.?
?So I gathered.?
Relena took a deep breath then let it out slowly. ?Nothing. Just whathisface again. Asked me where I was this weekend and then told me what I?d been up to.?
?And this angered you??
?Yes! Why ask if he already knew? I swear to God I?m going to kill him once my training is through.?
Trowa looked at her. Yes she definitely was attractive when she was angry. Teachers shouldn?t think of their students in that way.
?Now that would be something I?d pay to see. Relena Dorlian kills her own bodyguard because he wears horrible cologne and can?t keep his blonde?s straight.?
Despite her anger toward the aforementioned bodyguard, Relena smiled. ?I?d send you the tickets free of charge, front row center.?
?I?m honored, truly.?
?When?s our next lesson??
?Unfortunately the circus is moving in a few days to another town.?
?No! You can?t leave me!? Fear inexplicably griped the woman. ?I need you here with me so I can learn how to kick ass. I?ll supplement your pay while you stay. I?m sure you have an understudy type of person don?t you??
Trowa was once again silent. He had no qualms about leaving the circus for awhile but he did have reservations on how far he should take his teaching in survival. If he really wanted he could teach her how to become a mercenary, but he wasn?t sure that was the right decision. Only time would tell.
?If that is what you desire, I shall pack what is needed.?
?Right on! Let?s see where can you stay? I don?t want the others to know about our little deal so we need to hide you.?
?You do own a very large home. I?m sure I can hide out there for a time without detection.?
Relena absently tugged at her lip. ?True but whosit knows that place like it were his self-detonation device. I don?t want you to be uncomfortable either though. Where to put you, where to put you.?
The two remained quiet while scenarios of where the teacher should be hidden played out in their heads. For Relena, wherever she put Trowa he always ended up in a thong or wearing a leash.
?Why the secrecy?? Trowa couldn?t help but be curious.
?I like having you to myself.? Relena continued tugging at her lip. ?We could just rent you an apartment.?
?True. That might be for the best. I can rent under another name and we can train at my place. Suitable enough for you??
Relena nodded. ?What name will you use??
?I?ll send you the information.? Trowa then terminated the connection.
Later that day Relena was pleasantly surprised when a beautiful bouquet of flowers (lilies to be exact) were delivered to her office. Heero was suspicious but Relena told him that she doubted that a bomb was planted in the vase or any other sinister objects.
Strangely enough the vase resembled the one that Relena broke in Trowa?s home. The card was written in a beautiful hand.
I can?t wait to see you tonight gorgeous. Meet me at the oak (you know which one) at 9:00.
Love,
Triton
?Who?s Triton?? Heero asked once again suspicious.
Relena smiled. She couldn?t help but feel a little giddy at the whole flower idea. Looking at Heero she said, ?Triton?s an old friend of mine. He used to tutor me before you arrived at Saint Gabriel?s. It seems he still has some lessons for me.?
Mercenary Relena, here I come!
Hope you continue it and finally finish it because it has great potential. 
jk
