[FIC] Fan Fiction (follow-up)

[dd]

The room was remarkably quiet, all things considered.

?Do you really think this is the right thing to do, Tsunade?? Kurenai pulled at her hair nervously.

?It might have been kinder to both of them if just the three of us met with them first.? Kakashi saw Kurenai?s scowl and put his Icha Icha book away.

?We?re all friends here,? Tsunade said. ?They may both need a lot of support.? She drummed her fingers nervously on the to of the new lectern. ?If she were to meet with Kurenai alone, she might not want to face the others. We can?t have that. Both of them are part of valuable teams. And if he had a chance to meet with just the boys?? She slapped her hands against her legs in frustration.

?Jiraiya should be here any moment. I thought he should know what happened to Naruto.? Kakashi stood very sedately. ?In some way, Naruto looks up to him as a father figure.?

?WHAT?? Tsunade clenched both fists. There was murder in her eyes. ?He?s the last person we would want here!? If the masked ninja had indeed invited Jiraiya, he could use his sharingan eye to help him copy the sentence ?I will not invite perverts to sensitive situations? a thousand times on the chalk board.

?Oh! My mistake.? Kakashi?s eye gave away the fact that he was grinning under his mask. ?I meant Gai. The names sound so much alike.?

?Men!? Kurenai said.

?AHHHHH! You were talking about me.? Gai walked in, with Neji, Lee, and Ten Ten in tow. ?I?m glad we?re not late. We had practice after dark. Unlike my old adversary Kaksashi, I believe in training day and night, to hone their youthful skills to razor sharpness, so they can cut a straight clean path to destiny!?

?O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-H!? Lee clenched his fists and cocked his arms, eyes on fire. Ten Ten and Neji looked at one another and shook their heads.

?Did you say something Gai?? Kakashi yawned.

?Kakashi! You always do that to me?? Gai furrowed his brow.

Asuma walked up, a cigarette loosely hanging from his lips. He stopped in full view of his fell jounin. ?Anyone see Gai yet?? That had Gai grumbling, Kakashi smiling, and Kurenai resting her head against one of the room columns.

?Are they coming here first?? Gai asked. ?Or was Shizune going to have a talk with them over at the Clinic??

?I left that up to the two of them. They can decide as individuals, or sit through the standard talk as a couple.? Tsunade closed her eyes. This was more nerve-wracking than it had bee to hear about Sasuke?s defection or the frightening goals that Akatsuki once had. God help her! What if they didn?t think about protection. Involuntarily, she pictured Hinata with a belly as big as a watermelon. They probably should have received a talk before their? picnic?

?I don?t know what everyone is waiting around like shy kids at their first dance.? Asuma blew out a loud cloud of smoke. Kakashi took out his book, opened it, and used it as a fan. ?Civilian kids do this kind of thing all the time at their age. Shit! I was doing it before I was their age.? He blew out smoke in Gai?s direction this time. Gai stood in a heroic pose, withstanding the dreadful onslaught of the tobacco fumes. Lee looked on with pride.

?This is different,? Kurenai said. ?Hinata is not like most girls. Even if she was, it would be a difficult time.? She snatched Asuma?s cigarette and tucked it in his shirt pocket, still lit. ?It?s her first time. To have that happen??

?With Naruto!? Ten Ten blurted out, before putting her hand over her mouth.

?AHHHHHHHH!? Nauto is a fine friend, and an outstanding ninja. He will look out for her honor, making certain that she is free from all danger. ?OH-H-H-H-H-H-H!? Lee struck a pose that mirrored his sensei. Light gleamed off of their teeth at the same moment. Gai was very proud of his student.

Everyone just stared at the bushy-eyebrow boy. The silence was deafening.

?I was going to say, to have that happen at a time that wasn?t of her choosing, all because of a stupid story.? Kurenai tensed up, very upset. ?It?s awful! The only good thing is that Naruto is the one boy she would have chosen, if she was forced to choose.?

?Naruto? A good thing?? Ino had walked up, along with Choji and Shikamaru. ?Hokage, Ma?am? Did you give Kurenai-senai tranquilizers or something??

?Naruto has good eyes,? Neji put in. The whole situation had him concerned, but he would trust Naruto to be as good-hearted as possible. ?He always tries his best??

?HAH!? Asuma?s short loud laugh had Ino jumping. Shikamaru made a face and sighed. Choji ripped open his next bag. ?That?s exactly why you should all stop worrying!? he folded his arms over his chest and smiled. ?I don?t care who wrote the story. It doesn?t matter how the words were misinterpreted. We?re talking Naruto here. It?s not like he?s going to make a few dozen clones and then pull a train on her. He probably can?t even get one car out of the station??

?I wouldn?t be so certain. He?s not like Gai,? Kakashi spoke with a straight face. ?He doesn?t wear a chastity belt.? He shrugged. ?He also spent a number of years with Jiraiya.?

?Huh?? Lee scrunched up his face. ?Gai-sensai said that was a belt of weights, to help build up strength in his prnblgrl? Gai clamped his hand over Lee?s mouth.

?Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh?? Asuma lit up again. He imitated Gai?s voice. ?If I can?t get an erection, I will do five hundred laps. If I fail to pop a woody, I will do one thousand sit-ups. If my little ninja can?t stand up, I will kick the log one million times.?

?My success with women approaches legendary proportions, as does my manhood. There are many women who can vouch?? Gai was cut-off.

?Is this really what we need to be talking about?? The Hokage?s face had both Gai and Asuma taking a couple of steps back. She frowned, looking over at Kakashi. ?You just had to mention that old pervert again, didn?t you? Naruto has a lot more character than anyone is willing to give him credit for.? She ran a hand through her hair, not seeing Neji nod his head. ?But, I?d be worried about a monk that lived with the Frog Hermit for even one single week??

?But? well?? Kurenai felt a need to change the subject. ?We have been able to keep any talk to a minimum.? She rubbed her fingers together like Hinata, but stopped when she realized what she had been doing. ?The story went over very nicely. It was well written, and the mention of lemon and lime probably went over almost everyone?s head.? She looked hopeful for a moment. ?No one made any mention about the fact that the story would become reality.?

?I should also add one thing.? Neji said. ?Hinata told me that she did not intend to tell her father. I swore an oath to stay silent. Those of us in this room, and anyone Hinata and Naruto might speak to at the Medical Facilities, will be the only ones who know the full ramifications of this.?

?Which is the major reason I brought us all together,? Tsunade said. ?We all need to be discrete.? She frowned, seeing Kiba listening around one corner, Shino by his side. ?That means every one, right Mr. Inuzuka??

?I wouldn?t worry about that, Tsunade.? Kurenai looked over at Kiba. ?I had a talk with his girlfriend. He has a number of reasons to keep his mouth shut.?

?I sent a female bug along with Hinata,? Shino said. ?If you would like to?? He was interrupted.

?Where are they already?? Sakura walked up, and then began pacing. ?This is going to drive me nuts!? She was worried about Naruto, as a friend and teammate. She was worried about Hinata for all of the obvious reasons.

?Calm down, Sakura.? Tsunade was very proud of her student, but knew all too well what kind of state the pink-haired girl could work herself into. ?We don?t want to let them know that we?re worried. All of us need to be receptive and supportive, without making any kind of fuss or inappropriate comments.?

?Yes,? Kurenai pleaded with her eyes. ?Please act normal when they walk in. Don?t act like you see Kyuubi or something!? She bit her lip. ?You know what I mean??

Suddenly, without any warning, the large set of double doors leading into the room blew apart. Wood fragments and hinges all flew about the building in a spiral pattern. When the dust cleared, two figures were standing there.

?Naruto?? Kakashi rubbed his one normal eye.

?Hinata?? Kurenai felt dizzy. She put her hand on her forehead.

Tsunade just stared, her mouth hanging open. She expected to see a pair of embarrassed or chastened teenagers. At most, she thought that naruto would put on some kind of loud act, while Hinata cowered meekly by his side. But this? How? what? why?

?What? Is this a party? How can it be? we weren?t invited.? Naruto brushed some wood fragments off of Hinata.

?Maybe they misplaced the invitations.? Hinata kicked a broken doorknob out of her way. ?Kaiten would have been less messy, you know.?

?Yeh. But my Rasengan truly kicks ass.? Naruto laughed. ?It?s tough being a stud.?

?There?s nothing wrong with a tough stud,? Hinata said.

Kurenai fell to the floor. Tsunade closed her eyes and banged her head against the a column. A large ceiling fragment fell down, struck her, and then slid off in pieces. Asuma?s cigarette fell from between his open lips. Gai covered Lee?s eyes with his hands.

?I feel a song coming on,? Naruto said, pushing a desk over and standing on it. ?I hope they thought to make punch. I?m dying of thirst.?

?Sing it, lover.? Hinata ran up to grab Naruto?s arm.

?No?? Ino?s eyes went wide.

?F-cking?? Kiba could barely speak.

?Way?? Genius that he was, Shikamaru couldn?t find the right word to describe things. ?Bothersome? and ?Troublesome? didn?t even come close.

?I should have quit you, long time ago. Oh yeh yeh? long time ago. I should have quit you, long time ago. ? Naruto?s singing voice did not do Robert Plant justice. Not by any stretch of the imagination. ?I wouldn't be here, my children, down on this killin' floor.?

?O-o-o-o-o-h.?The Lemon Song?. Perfect!? Hinata smiled.

?This can?t be happening!? Sakura looked at Naruto, then Hinata, and then Naruto again.

?Shhh!? Hinata shook her finger at the medical trainee.

I should have listened, baby, to my second mind. Oh, I should have listened, baby, to my second mind. Every time I go away and leave you, darling, you send me the blues straight down the line.? Naruto handed a cigarette to Hinata. ?It?s hard to sing with that in my mouth.?

?You were doing fine,? Hinata said. Her cigarette made it difficult for her to wrap her lips around her words.

?But? but? but?? Neji stood ramrod stiff. This couldn?t be real. It must be some kind of Jenjutsu. Could Itachi have snuck into the village somehow? Was this the Tsukiyomi he had heard about? Why else would his cousin be standing there, wearing short denim shorts and a tight halter top? There were nine small butterfly tattoos on the small of her back. That lipstick. Those painted nails. Hinata? Hinata!?

?Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ab-e? treat me right baby?. woh-h-h-h-h-h my my my my-y-y-y-y. People telling?me baby can't be satisfied. Try to worry me baby, but they never hurt you in my eyes. I said people worry baby, I can?t keep you satisfied. Let me tell you baby, ah-h-h-h you ain't nothin but a two-bit, no-good jive. I Went to sleep last night, worked as hard as I can. Bring home my money, you take my money, give it to another man. I should have quit you, baby, such a long time ago. I wouldn't be here with all my troubles, down on this killing floor.?

?O-o-o-o-o-h, give me shivers?? Hinata purred.

?Wh-? Wh-? Wh-?? Tsunade had trouble finding her tongue. There was no doubt. That was Naruto. She could sense Kyuubi?s chakra. But, black denim jeans? An open, sleeveless orange denim vest, with nothing worn beneath it? Those tattoos! A giant snarling fox head on his right arm and shoulder? nine stylish fox tails woven around his left arm. ?What??

?NARUTO!? That, of course, was Sakura. She found it easy to shout at her teammate; but, the reality was still too wild, too new: she didn?t know exactly what to say.

Kakashi was scribbling inside the cover of his Icha Icha book. Sure, it was the wrong thing to do at an incredibly wrong time, but he didn?t want to forget a single detail. Jiraiya would kill for this.

?I think they want you to sing louder, sugar.? Hinata drew idle drawings on one desk top with her fingers. ?Me too. The next lines are my favorite.?

?Squeeze me baby, til the juice runs down on my leg. O-o-o-o-o-h, squeeze me baby, til the juice runs down on my leg. The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed-ed-bed-bed. Hey? hey? hey? hey?. hey hey hey? baby baby baby baby bay-be bay-be. I'm gonna leave my children down on this killing floor.? Naruto?s voice echoed about the large room.

?Sq-Sq-Squeeze?? Ten Ten looked at Hinata. She started picturing something, but forced herself to stop. She blushed when she stumbled back into Neji?s arms. He was too stunned to notice when she wrapped one of those arms around her.

?H-H-His?? Gai?s mouth hung open. He looked down at his own package, blinking rapidly. That boy was lucky, while he?

?L-L-Lemon!? Choji?s face was red. His eyes were wide, and snot fountained from his nose. He squeezed an unopened chip bag so hard, it burst. Chips and chip pieces landed on Asuma?s hair like large flakes of snow. A slow smile crept onto the jouin?s face.

?What?s with them, sweet cakes?? Hinata looked over at her friends.

?The lemon squeezing line, probably.? Naruto shrugged. ?Zeppelin lifted it from Robert Johnson?s ?Travelin? Riverside Blues?. Maybe they?re a bunch of Blues purists or something.? He cleared his throat, tring his best to imitate a blues singer. ?Now you can squeeze my lemon, til the juice run down my?? He switched from singing to talking, ?til the juice run down my leg, baby, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout.? He switched back to singing again. ?You can squeeze my lemon till the juice run down my leg?that?s what I?m talkin? about now? but I'm goin' back to Friar's Point, if I be rockin' to my end.?

Kiba couldn?t contain himself any more. It was a guy thing. He and his girlfriend had come close, but had not done the deed yet. ?So Naruto, you did it?? That had Shino sighing. The female bug had said?

?That?s not the real question.? Asuma had gotten over the shock, and was back to being his old self. ?You know what we want to know!?

?Uh, No?? Ino swallowed hard.

?No we don?t?? Ten Ten shook her head. She put her fingers in her ears.

?NO WAY!? Sakura clenched her fists and smashed one desk with a powerful blow. The Inner sakura tried to calm her down.

?How many times?? Every stood aghast. It hadn?t been Asuma who asked that question. Lee had beat him to the punch. His eyes were burning with that flame again. He cocked his finger and pointed at Sakura. He wondered why she tripped over a chair like she did.

?L-L-Lee?? Gai looked shocked at first, but then smiled. The light shining off his teeth had Shikamaru covering his eyes.

?Well, you all know that I have a fox inside of me, right?? Naruto thumbed himself in the abdomen.

?Well, I had some fox inside of me, too.? Hinata didn?t bother pointing. Everyone should get the picture. Kakashi used his book as a fan again, blowing air on Kurenai?s face, trying to revive her.

?Kyuubi?s not the only nine tailed fox, if you catch my drift.? Smiling, he smacked Hinata nine times on her rump. Ino used the opportunity to cling to Shikamaru, trembling. He wanted to push her away. It was like he was caught in a Shadow Bind. His arms wouldn?t move.

?That?s my new lucky number, see?? Hinata put her left leg up on a chair. There was a large ?nine? tattooed on her thigh. That was too much for Neji. Seeing him passed out on the floor, Ten Ten tried to wake him. Seeing that no one was watching, she tried it Sleeping Beauty style, but Neji was still out of it. Willing to do anything for her teammate, she tried again and again.

?B-? B-? B-?? Tsunade swallowed hard. ?But, there was nothing hinting to anything like? this? in the story?? Even if the two had made love after the picnic, the rest of Hinata?s story had been beautiful, sweet, and pastoral.

?It?s a lot more exciting this way,? Hinata said.

?Was there something you all wanted to talk to us about?? Naruto scratched his head. ?If not, I?m feeling pretty hungry right now.?

?Let?s get Ramen,? Hinata said. ?You know? to celebrate??

?Right! You did the trick, I?ll buy the treat.? He laughed.

?The trick was the treat, you man you.? Hinata bumped her hip against his.

?Either way, you really are someone I can like!? Naruto grabbed hooked his arm through Hinata?s and began walking out of the room. ?Toodles!? He waved the assembled group.

Once they were both outside of the room, they took off running, finding a small empty room that no one would stumble on. ?I can?t believe that we pulled that off!? Naruto created a dozen clones. They gave the two shinobi a round of applause until each and every one of them had popped from existence.

It had indeed been a splendid show. That had been part of the deal. The people in charge of the contest had given them two choices. They could live out Hinata?s story, complete with the uncontrollable urge to have sex until the evening gave way to morning. Or, they could make an even more amusing tale, seeing it through for the readership. The contest sponsors had a number of suggestions, and offered to help get the necessary clothing and fake body markings.

Hinata had been beside herself at first. Neither option sounded good to her. She felt trapped, all because she had used ?lemon? and ?lime? in her story without knowing the meaning of those words in anime Fan Fiction. But, one choice was better than the other, regardless. Yes, she would give away a few years of her life, if one day she really could sleep with Naruto. But, not like this. If he didn?t love her, it could never be anything good or worth cherishing.

There had been no picnic. The long day together had been spent in rehearsal, and speaking with people who could help them with their impromptu reactions. Whatever happened with their friends would be spontaneous on the friends? part, so the two shinobi needed to be able to go with the flow.

?I? ummm?? Hinata shivered for a moment. It looked like she was about to pass out. Naruto reached out to steady her, his arm against her back.

?Hey! It?s over. Don?t fall over now.? He looked at Hinata, and then swallowed hard. She really did look hot in that get-up. No no no no. He had to keep his mind in the right place. ?You were really amazing, Hinata. I know that we practiced a lot of those lines; but, you still came up with some on your own!? He took the cigarette out of her mouth. ?I wonder if anyone noticed these weren?t lit??

?I? well?? That had Hinata blushing even more. In a way, it had actually been fun pretending like that. For a few moments, she felt important, as if she had actually done something that the other girls hadn?t done yet. She might have gotten carried away with her role, though.

?Sugar. Sweet cakes. Where did those come from?? Naruto pulled at one ear. Despite everything else they had been through in practice, those simple terms of affection almost had him lose it during their big routine. ?And when you shushed Sakura? that was great!?

Hinata just sat silently, twiddling her fingers. Those words had caught her by surprise, too.

?Ready to go back down and tell them the truth?? Naruto stretched with both arms, but quickly placed the one back where it was when Hinata began falling backward.

?N-No, Naruto-kun.? Hinata wriggled about a bit. ?N-Not yet.? She liked the feel of Naruto?s arm around her. She had no desire to get up.

?Huh?? Naruto wondered why Hinata closed her eyes and grinned like that. She was probably trying to pull herself together. Girls!

?If?? Hinata took a deep breath. Out of all that had happened, there might be an opportunity for something that she never would have had courage to do outside of her prize-winning story. ?If I?? She had to get the words out. Who knows how long before she would work up the nerve from scratch! ?If I had a real picnic?? She was going to say ?Would you come?? She blushed, having learned what the homonym for that last word meant. ?Would you accompany me??

?WHAT?? Naruto put his hand over his mouth. ?But? Hinata? this was all just??

?I? ummm? no? I didn?t mean?? Hinata opened her eyes and sat forward. ?Like in my story, Naruto-kun. Without the lemon and lime stuff.?

?Oh? Naruto put both hands behind his head. He pursed his lips. Out of the corner of his eye, hoping that Hinata couldn?t tell where he was looking, he gave her a quick once over again. Now, why was he doing that? ?Would there be Ramen??

?I?? Hinata smiled. He was going to say ?Yes?. ?Sure? ummm? if you like. As much as you want.?

?Nine bowls?? Naruto was still a trouble-maker, whatever the situation. ?That is your lucky number, right??

?Naruto-kun!? Hinata brought her hand to her mouth. With the other hand, she covered the temporary tattoo. Looking down at her bare legs, she tried to pull the frayed edge of her cut-offs down, but they wouldn?t go any further.

?It?s OK, Hinata. I was just joking. Sorry.? He frowned. He had the urge to tell her something. What the Hell, he was Uzumaki Naruto, and he was on a roll. What harm could it do. ?I?m not too fond of that tattoo. You have great legs, and they look better without it.?

Hinata?s eyes went wide. Her mouth was open, but she couldn?t get a single word out. That was OK, she couldn?t think of a response.

?Wait! I mean?? Yes, he was indeed Uzumaki Naruto. That meant that he was actually quite uncertain around girls, despite all of that ?Sakura-chan? nonsense when he was younger. ?I shouldn?t have said??

?It?s? ummm?? Hinata didn?t feel any urge to leave. She didn?t run from the room looking for a place to hide. Maybe some of the false front she put on earlier was making her braver in reality. ?Thank you,Naruto-kun.? That was enough for now. She was not a flirt, no matter what clothing she wore. In time, she would treasure his words, and the shy reaction he had after them. ?I can find a picnic basket big enough for nine bowls.?

?It?s a date, then!? Naruto waved his arm flamboyantly. That was just a phrase, like ?let?s do lunch? or something. ?I mean, it?s a deal?? He swallowed hard, feeling sweaty suddenly. ?I mean??

?It?s a picnic, Naruto-kun.? Hinata grinned. It was good, his being shy too.

One step at a time?

[nightkat01]

?That?s my new lucky number, see?? Hinata put her left leg up on a chair. There was a large ?nine? tattooed on her thigh. That was too much for Neji. Seeing him passed out on the floor, Ten Ten tried to wake him. Seeing that no one was watching, she tried it Sleeping Beauty style, but Neji was still out of it. Willing to do anything for her teammate, she tried again and again.

*laughs* Ten Ten taking advantage, eh?

I loved it, as well as Fan Fiction. I'm surprised Hinata had the guts to go through with the prank, but she did it well. Good work!