Love Beyond All Fear 11/13

[Gundam Girl]

Wow, are we ever drawing closer to the end. Those who know the story that this is based off of are probably agonizing right now. But please stick with me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Madame Butterfly, or Miss Saigon.

Love Beyond All Fear ? Chapter 11

By Gundam Girl

In a little room, in a little shack, with her son sleeping between her arms, Relena dreamed of frightful things; of fire and blood and smoke and death.

One death in particular.

The sound of helicopter blades deadened any other sounds the images might carry; she saw the same crowd of panicked people that had been at the gates of the U.S. base in Japan. Fingers clawed at her hair, drawing her behind them so they could be closer to the gate, closer to freedom and safety. More than once or fingers shivered over the trigger of the black-as-coal gun in her hand, ready to shoot. She was terrified, but she would shoot if it meant going with Heero.

Oh, Lord, where was Heero? In the back of her dream state?s mind, she knew he was in one of those helicopters launching off of the base. She thought she heard his voice scream out her name, but the helicopters were so loud?

And then a laugh came, and it was louder than the engines or the blades, and slowly the roar of helicopters died away, and the laugh continued. It wasn?t Heero?s laugh. It wasn?t even her own laugh.

The whole terrible scene suddenly dissolved to black, and what replaced it was the figure of a man. A man with fine, brown hair lightened by the sun, with eyes like icy water deep in the sea. His features were sharp and suggested wealth; his uniform of the Japanese army suggested strength and power. And the sneer his fine lips was curled into suggested hatred.

?So,? he said softly, still chuckling a bit, ?you really thought I?d done away.? He raised a hand, pointed to his own chin. ?This is the face of your cousin, Relena. The cousin who loved you. The cousin who would have set you free and made you fly. The cousin?? He stepped forward, closer and closer to her vision. ?That you killed.?

Relena, having a dream body of her own now, stepped away. ?You?re dead.?

?Oh, I am? Maybe by the daylight, yes. In the day, you?re safe. But here, in your thoughts, in the dark, I will rise to see you. I will come to tell you, to remind you of what you?ve done. For you?ve tried to forget,? he murmured. ?Tried to forget you murdered, but you did.

?You hid my voice to protect your son, and stopped my heart to save him. Would you forget that you spilled older blood of yours to defend the newer??

Relena squeezed her eyes shut. ?No? No, Trieze, I can?t bear it.?

?Bear what? Can?t you bear seeing me? Oris what you cannot bear the fact that the father of the son you saved cares nothing for him ? or for you? Can you not bear how he deserted you to die so he could survive for his own sake? How he never, ever loved you??

?You?re lying!? she sobbed, pressing her hands to her ears.

?Then I?ll keep lying,? he whispered, close enough now to touch the side of her face, lift some of her hair between his fingers. ?Every single night until, somehow, your torture ends. What if he takes you back somehow?? He barked out a harsh, cold laugh. ?If he does, I?ll leave you alone, Relena. Then you can bury me forever. But?? He suddenly gripped a handful of hair and tugged, and she cried out. ?But he never will!?

Relena burst from sleep and breathed heavily. Next to her, Derek stirred. Staring at the canopy of her bed, she worked to slow her heartrate.

Dreams, she thought. Merely dreams and memories. They couldn?t hurt her. And they couldn?t hurt her son.

But well into the night, she sobbed silently for the loss of her cousin and her love.

---

Sitting in the cozy armchair of their apartment that Heero usually preferred to read in, Catherine had her legs locked together, her hands trembling in tight fists on her eyes. She was staring at the back of her fingers, her eyes narrowed and shining the slightest bit with unshed tears.

It was?hard to believe. It was certainly hard to understand. But it was true. Heero, Trowa, Wufei, and now Quatre had confirmed it. Her husband was the father of a child that wasn?t hers. There was a small person, a small life in Morocco waiting for the man she loved.

She took a deep breath and looked up. Heero had invited Duo and Hilde over so that Hilde might hear the fact about her friend from Japan being alive. Hilde was shaking all over, practically convulsing as tears streamed down her face, wetting Duo?s shirt as the braided man held his wife to his muscled chest.

Catherine?s fingers dug deeper into the flesh of her palms. Hilde was two months pregnant, and she still remained only one person instead of two. She could understand the woman?s sorrow ? she?d known this Relena woman, after all. But Catherine was the one who had been forced to hear the foreign name in the throes of Heero?s fitful sleep.

?But I thought she was dead!? Hilde exclaimed, choking on her own gasp. ?My God, three years! She?s been alone three years, and with a child? She must think we all abandoned her!?

?Maybe,? Quatre intoned. ?That?s been the feelings of a lot of people we?ve met who were stranded in Japan.?

?But others haven?t been angry,? Trowa added as gently as he could from his leaning stance by the door. ?Some have just been too relieved to get to America, at last.?

Heero stood just behind Catherine with his hands on her shoulders. ?I know I should have told you?at least mentioned it somehow. And I?ll understand if you decide against going to Morocco with me.? But his fingers shook against Catherine?s skin; he didn?t want to go through with this by himself.

Catherine turned to look up at him, and her eyes were passionate. ?You?re right, Heero. You really should have told me. Did you think I?d turn you away? Even I?ve got skeletons in the closet.?

Heero looked away from her fierce gaze. He honestly didn?t know what he?d thought at the time, or even what he was thinking now. Just like two years ago, his mind was once again swamped with memories of Relena: her smile, the sound of her laugh like the tinkling of silver bells, the softness of her skin and hair, her whisperings of ?I love you?? It was almost too much for Heero to keep standing with those thoughts curling round his brain.

?But,? Catherine went on, seeing the lack of focus in his eyes; she was losing him to the Japan of three years ago. ?But, Heero, don?t think that I?m going to let you face this alone. Who would be able to do that? You?re strong, dear, but you aren?t Superman.? Her hand rubbed his on her shoulder, and his eyes flicked back to hers. ?I?m staying with you.?

Wufei, Trowa, Quatre, Duo, and Hilde ? a group that, to Catherine, was exclusive and against her presence ? watched as the married pair embraced tightly. Heero set his chin on top of Catherine?s soft hair.

?We?ll go together,? Catherine murmured, stroking Heero?s back in small circles. ?To Morocco.?

To meet Relena. And?your son.

---

Casablanca, Howard had decided on his and Relena?s first day in Morocco, was nowhere near as profitable as anywhere in Japan. With the sun and dust everywhere, no one was really inclined to a hot bout of sex, much less willing to pay lots of money for it. All the men knew if they wanted a woman?s body, they could just go home, rouse their wives, and close their eyes as they pretended to make love to someone else.

And besides, in a major city, there were pimps and whores everywhere; a club full of them was nothing special. He wasn?t even in charge! He was getting paid to bark out for a fat bastard who took the women who worked for him without paying a dime.

So far, Relena hadn?t done much work. Howard had been forced to rely on the talents of far less attractive women for the past month or so. A hand job or a massage every now and then, and the rest of her time she devoted to her kid. He?d been feeding all three of them, and just barely. And it was getting tougher. His boss was getting wise, suspecting that he and Relena weren?t related at all. The kid, and the fact that Sergeant Yuy was partially Japanese, was their only angle.

If Relena would only pull her weight! It was an exhausting thought that hit him multiple times every day. He could sell her pale skin and blond hair for more than three times what he was paid at the end of every week. Damn, when was that fucking embassy an annoying businessman had spoken to him about going to act and get them the hell out of this sandbox?!

Not anytime soon, he was fairly sure. A group of gentlemen were strolling by, cheap wooden pipes smoking in their mouths, with their dumb eyes glancing at the whore shack behind him.

?Gentleman!? he exclaimed in the little bit of Spanish he?d picked up. ?Come in?see girls. Yes??

The only reply he got was for one of them to spit tobacco on his sandaled feet. Disgusted, Howard cried out in rage and kicked at the air, but the sticky substance had no mind to leave his toes.

?Hey, you! Japan man!? As though a string of bad luck was pulling in one disaster after another, a burly brown man wobbled over to Howard, griping out English. ?I said you could stay if you do me some work! I ain?t gettin? no customers!?

?They?re on their way,? Howard assured him. ?They come out at night.?

?You been sayin? that for three weeks.? The man shoved a purdgy, threatening index finger up close to Howard?s face. ?I want my cash. I don?t get it, you and your sister gonna be outta here like that.? He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

?Yes, sir,? Howard replied instantly. With a displeased grunt, the man swiveled and dragged his girth back inside. ?Well, happy days,? the sunglasses-wearing man muttered, making a face at the shack.

?Hidaki Tomoya??

The name had cold spearing into the old man?s heart, but he turned around with a smile. ?Sorry,? he began, ?my name?s Howard??

The cold ended. His heart just stopped all together.

?Jesus Christ!? he half-shouted. ?I don?t believe it. Wufei-san!?

Wufei?s Chinese eyes subtly critiqued the Japanese pimp. ?Hello, Howard.? His tobacco-covered foot did little to impress him. ?Good haul today??

Howard rolled his eyes. ?You couldn?t believe the torture out here! Japan was so much richer in horny men. I made good money, Wufei-san, you bet. Here, there?s no interest!? He paused in his short rant to eye the other Asian pointedly. ?While you?re here, would you like??

?No,? Wufei cut in. ?I?m here on business.?

Howard merely sighed. ?It was worth a try. Well, what can I do for you? If someone from my lousy past is going to appear, I might as make it worth something.?

?Actually, I?m??

?Howard! I need to speak with you!? Wufei looked up to see a faint figure of his memory racing from the shack toward them. ?The boss is throwing a fit. He?s saying he?s?? Relena?s eyes darted momentarily to Wufei, and her tongue stilled. A quaking hand went first to her mouth, then slid down her throat until it rested over her heart.

?Wufei!?

Wufei had never heard his name said quite like that before. Recognition, desperation, hopefulness, and joy all filled the two syllables. It was enough to make him wish he had never been so hateful when Duo and Heero had brought Hilde and Relena back with them those many, many months ago. He had Sally. Relena had no one, although she didn?t know that yet.

That was why he was here, however.

Heero had lost face when the plane had landed. He still wanted to see Relena, but only if she wanted to see him?after she found out that he was married to someone else. Wufei, the only one of his friends with him besides Catherine, had been given no choice but to come see Relena and deliver the news himself.

?Wufei,? Relena repeated. Her hands leapt out, and he instinctively took them. Her grip was so tight. ?What on earth are you doing here?! When did you??

From behind her, a native man who looked far less than sober slid a hand around her waist. He murmured something in Spanish that he most likely found endearing. Face pale and disgusted, she batted at his hands until he stumbled back.

?Got off me! We?re through here!?

His eyes cleared for a second. ?Whores deciding what?s what, now?? he slurred in accented English. ?We really did get hit with the future.?

Relena watched in anger as the drunk walked off. Wufei eyes never left her, and she softened somewhat as she turned back to him. There was a different quality to her now, he acknowledged. Her eyes held resolve and fierce protectiveness.

Of course, she had been a mother on her own in a harsh Asian land for the past three years. Conditions like that would harden anyone ? and Relena?s emotions had always been double anyone else?s.

?I just came,? Wufei told her in answer to her fast questions. He glanced about, noticed how eagerly Howard watched them. ?Is there anywhere we can speak in private??

Relena nodded. Keeping one of her hands in his, she began to lead him away.

Howard tapped his shoulder as he went by, grinning. ?Are you sure you don?t want to try a bit of??

?Positive,? growled Chang impatiently.

She led her old acquaintance up to the second floor of the shack, into a room with a door made of warped wood. The whole room smelled of musk, but it was cleaner than the rest of the place had been. Or perhaps it only looked clean because of the sparseness to it. He took in the sight with a patient gaze.

Then his slanted eyes landed on the bed. It had a thin curtain hanging around it, and he could only see shadowy outlines of what was behind. A particular lump caught his attention.

?There is something I should show you, Wufei.? As Relena spoke, she moved toward the bed with a smile on her face; still pretty, Wufei thought. She?d known such mistreatment over the years, but she had been able to retain her pleasant looks. ?It?s a secret I?ve been keeping for so long.? Her expression gloomed a bit. ?With so much difficulty.?

Wufei watched with keen interest as she pulled back the curtain. A sleeping form lie there, his chocolate hair thick and unruly. His eyes were closed, but Wufei had a feeling they?d look like Heero?s. The boy was almost identical to his friend.

The boy stirred. He didn?t roll over or yawn; the sides of his mouth simply curved up. Shock entered the ex-soldier?s system.

?His name?s Derek. Look at him, Wufei,? she murmured. ?This is his son. Don?t they have the same smile?? She pressed a delicate hand to the boy?s head, caressing it. ?He?s been waiting for his father since the day he was born.?

With those words, duty shoved its way to the forefront, and Wufei suddenly went firm. ?Relena, I have to tell you. I?m not here as your friend.?

Her gentle eyes, filled with motherly affection, met his. Confusion seeped in a little.

?I?m here with work to do. Quatre, Trowa, and I ? we started a foundation for helping people in Japan. People like you.? He deliberately did not say ?former prostitutes.? ?Now, I have to admit, I found it more than strange when we got the report about you and Howard coming to Morocco. But we?ve known about Derek for a few months, and now?? He hesitated. There didn?t seem to be a way to put what he needed to tell her that would lessen the shock. ?Heero knows about you two as well.?

Relena?s eyes widened, and she pressed a fist to her stomach in nervousness. ?Please,? she whispered urgently, ?just tell me something, Wufei. Are you ? am I? Can we go to the States now? For two months we sailed on a wretched boat, scared the whole time. But I thought of that place, New York, that he told me about, and we made it here all right somehow.? Her smile came, but it was sad. ?I have to see Heero, Wufei. I have to go to my husband.?

The words cut him like an army dagger, but Wufei struggled on. ?You don?t even have to travel to New York,? he muttered around a lump in his throat. ?I just flew in this morning. Heero and?? He stopped. He couldn?t bring himself to say ?Catherine.? Not yet. ?Heero and I,? he said, ?came together.?

Her reaction took a second, but it wasn?t unexpected. ?He?s?he?s here?!? she gasped. ?Oh?oh, Wufei, this isn?t a dream, is it? Derek!? Hysterical, she almost woke the boy, but instead ran to Wufei, throwing her arms around him. ?I knew it! I knew I would see him again, and I knew there was a chance for us!?

?Relena,? Wufei attempted.

?Those two months?it nearly killed me, Wufei, but I lived. I lived for Derek and for Heero. Oh, God! It was so hard to keep faith, but now??

?Let me finish talking, please!? he asked, desperate. "When you two met, it was three whole years ago... Things have changed, Relena." But she could barely hear him, if she did at all. She was kissing both his cheeks and embracing him so thankfully.

I can?t tell her like this, he thought frantically. I can?t do this to her. I don?t have the strength. It should be Heero; he should come see his son, and then tell her the truth. From his own words. At a loss, he could only hug her in return.

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