A Lesson Learned *Revised* NC-17 1xR

[War Dove]

Gundam Wing and its characters are not mine...they belong to Sunrise/SOTSU Agency etc. etc.

This fic is about 4 years old and was my first real H/R lemon where I began to experiment with dark, angst and intense sex scenes. The sex in this fic yes is violent but consensual. NC-17 definitely-YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


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"You should never have come here Relena." Heero was standing in front of the girl, who was incredibly close to him now, having him pinned up against the wall.

"You don't understand Heero." She spoke in silky tones. "I've made up my mind about this and I'm not going to change it. I can be as stubborn and determined as you."

He closed his eyes trying to ignore her fingers that were under his shirt, gingerly caressing his shoulders, his chest, his stomach, his... He gripped her wrists with his hands and brought them up between them. "You're in over your head you stupid girl."

She almost wanted to laugh. "So you keep telling me."

He shook her once, quite fiercely. His voice was a growl. "Don't tempt me Relena. I'm just going to end up destroying you."

This time a little laugh did escape her lips. "You're sounding like a broken record. Besides, I thought Duo was the great destroyer."
Heero closed his eyes, finding no humor in her sarcasm. No one ever seemed to listen to him. No one would seem to understand that when it came to sex with Heero he was going to be as intense, complete and unmerciful as he was on the battlefield. When he told others to leave him alone in that way they never did and so he had to teach them a lesson. A lesson it seemed he would now have to teach to Relena.

He cursed himself and Relena as he grabbed locks of her golden hair in his fist dragging her across the room, releasing her with a spin of his wrist so that she slammed down onto the bed. She was too startled to cry out, yet somehow enthralled at the same time as she tried to steady her breathing with him atop her, crushing her in such a harsh and demanding kiss that she thought she could taste her own blood. The buttons of her blouse and skirt were gone, ripped from their very fibers as Heero began to accost her body with biting kisses and rough caresses that kneaded and bruised her body. She closed her eyes, feeling tears well up, but she swallowed them, she wanted this from him and she was not going to allow him to think that she feared him. For even though, a piece of her right now was unsure of what extent he might harm her; this was also the part of the danger that entranced her with him.


The Heero Yuy she desired was a man, that, when he latched onto a passion, he took it to extremes stopping at nothing until he got the results he desired. And, even now, when he was being crude and harsh she loved being with him, she wanted to be with him, no matter the consequence or circumstance. Needing to feel that her dream was real, she reached up her hand to touch him but he gabbed her wrists again with his strong grip.

"Don't touch me." She heard him growl and looked into his dark orbs which were now a stormy blue, cold and emotionless, yet smoldering with lust and sex.

He returned her gaze and strangely noticed no fear in her eyes, only that damned determined confidence that was always there. Could she actually be enjoying this? His own eyes narrowed and a side smile drew across his lips. If she wanted to play, he was ready to play.

He had never been one to use much foreplay so his fingers went directly inside of her slick wetness, halted only by her thin barrier. He had guessed right about her being a virgin. A little girl in over her head playing a woman's game with a dangerous man/boy who could kill her with one snap of the neck. Of course by her actions and speech one would not think of her, as being only an eighteen year-old girl-but deep down she was quite the child in so many ways. He felt her stiffen underneath him as his hardness was beginning to grow painful and he didn't know how much longer he could hold himself off of her.

She had closed her eyes waiting for pain to overtake her but it had not. What was he waiting for? She tried to speak his name but his bent elbow and forearm were pressed against her larynx. The same bent arm that pressed against her throat also had her bent leg pinned by the side of her head. His other hand had her wrists pinned under the small of her back forcing her to lift her hips up to meet his. He hovered over her and she could feel his breathe on her face, his voice raspy. "This is your last chance princess. There's no turning back from here."

He began to see tears in her eyes but resolve at the same time, as if she was preparing herself for the worst but unwilling to back down from her desires, her needs. She truly had no idea, or if she did she was doing a damned good job of hiding it. An eternal battle began inside of him, as it always seemed to when he was confronted with Relena. Why was he hesitating? Waiting for her words?

Somehow, she managed to find her voice. "Heero. Please do this for me. I want this. I want you." With her plea he gave into his insane lust and brought his lips down to her lips. She accepted his open mouth and braced herself as he rammed inside of her, while at the same time he bit the inside of her lip and suckled her blood.

The pain in her mouth distracted her mind from the pain in her groin, so much so, that she had not even realized he had planted himself into her. It was only when her body began to jolt from his violent thrusts that she began to feel his size, his strength and his power. He was in her, possessing her, she was his, if even for this one time. His forearm was still pressed against her throat and she tried desperately to breath, the panic only adding to her pleasure.

Releasing grunts and moans of his own, Heero fed off the euphoria of his dominance over the girl beneath him, loving the feeling of power and control that he had. But, he was also finding that he was adoring the feel of her as well, her tight, slick heat driving him faster and harder, until he came with hoarse cry, his release flooding deep inside of her. Growling lightly, he rammed himself roughly inside of her two more times, and when he was completely spent, it was over.

Relena could barely whisper his name experiencing her own explosion of passion and heat, unable to control her involuntary shivering. Her legs were numb and her head spinning, but she had loved every moment, every sensation that their union had brought her. The cool air that hit her body as he slid out of her brought her back to reality and as he left her, to sit on the edge of the bed, she rolled on her side away from him, still cold, but no longer shivering.

As he sat and stared down at his feet, contemplating what had just happened, between them, Heero felt an overwhelming urge to lye down beside her and pull her close against him, to comfort her and apologize for hurting her in anyway. Then just as quickly he grew angry with himself for having such weak thoughts and hopeful expectations. He had specifically told her what to expect, warned her what would happen, and still she continued, even begging. Half looking back toward her, he could not help but notice the sheets stained with blood and semen. The truth then washed over him, that he was nothing more than a monster, a trained killer, and a taker of innocent souls. Closing his eyes, he was at a loss for what to do or say, falling back on his usual apathetic tone.

"There are some clean towels in the bathroom if you wish to take a shower." He turned his face away from her direction, as if to hide his shame. "There's also a gun in the bedside table so if you want to kill me my life is in your hands."

A faint sniffle left her. "And what makes you think I won't use it on myself?"

"I don't know that you won't." He rose from the bed, emotionless and as stiff as ever. "If you don't care to take me up on my offer than I'm going to shower myself. Do whatever you want."

Sitting up herself, Relena pulled her knees to her chin, hugging her legs to her chest. She watched him disappear into the bathroom and could not help but smile and close her eyes so that she could recapture the memory. It may not have been exactly how she had imagined her first time to be, but it had happened, and it had happened with the man that she had wanted it to happen with. She understood why he had done what he did. And it only made her more determined. Her tongue caressed the cut in her lip and she winced, surprisingly finding, that it was the only pain in her entire body that she was still feeling.

The scalding hot water streaming over his body did little to ease the tension and guilt that Heero was feeling. Truly sickened with himself for how he had treated her, he banged his forehead on the shower wall and kept it there. He questioned himself as to why he was feeling remorse for what he had done to Relena, and the only answer he could come up with was that despite his attempts to deny it, he truly did feel something for this girl that he had not felt with any other. But even if he did love her, showing her would require a level of intimate compassion that he simply did not possess.

She was no doubt gone by now. Far away from him, where she needed to be. Hurt and alone, feeling used and dirty and he could do nothing for her pain or even ask for her forgiveness. He swore he would have started to cry if not for the shock he felt instead, as a slender pair of arms wrapped around his waist and two soft lips brushed a kiss against his shoulder blades.

"Thank you, Heero."

"Relena?"

"Hush." She snuggled up against him, her body now slick from the water that was now covering them both.

"But why? What I did…"

She wanted to laugh, but didn't. "There's nothing wrong with violent sex, Heero, as long as it's consensual, and, I chose to consent. I wanted it. You did nothing wrong." She slid to his side and for some reason he turned to her.

"You are too forgiving for your own good, Relena."

He was taken aback when she started to smooth away his drenched hair. "You've shown me how much power you can have over me, how much control you are able to wield. So you have nothing more to prove to me." It was one of the few moments the perfect soldier did not have a plan, did not have a response. He did not even noticed until her lips touched his that she had drawn him into a kiss. She whispered against his lips. "Just because you fight one way does not mean that you must love the same. Don't you understand that the battle must not control your entire life?"

He pulled her to him as their kiss deepened. He slid his hand down between their bodies and opened up her vaginal folds, allowing the water to gush over his hand, washing away anything that would have remained from his previous violent conquest. He felt her go a little limp as a moan escaped her lips. He pulled her to him even closer. He did have something more to prove to her, that he could be the man and lover she wanted, she needed.

He would make it happen, though he wasn't sure how, but could he give up the power and allow her to show him? Lifting her up in his arms, she reached behind him and turned off the shower. Though still drenched, they did not seem to notice the coolness of the open room as he carried her back to the bed, lowering her down ever so carefully. As he began to love her again he felt himself loosing control...no he would not allow himself to give into his animal side. He began to shake. "Relena. You have to leave. Now."

She said nothing but only pushed against him until he was on his back and she was straddled atop him. "I'm not giving up on you because I know you're stronger than your programming." Her wet hair clung to both of their bodies and her eyes had turned a smoldering dark blue. "Please. Let me show you how love can be." She leaned over him then, and began to kiss his body and caress all of his sensitive areas. He drew in a breath and regained his control, her belief in him giving him a new power, but then, he knew she had always believed in him. And so the student was becoming the teacher.

[Wingnut]

Like Relena said, if it is consentual, then who cares how it is done. 4 years old huh? Then I guess you set the standard for Heero curseing himself a fool too many times to count, and only to find that Relena forgives him for his somewhat viloent nature. A nice twist that Relena turns right around and teaches him how love can truely be.

[Andrea]

Wow... Well, honestly, as a lemon it was good; as a whole, it was cruel... I liked your use of words, and it shows you have real talent for angst. Good job.

[Morrighan]

Wonderful job with this one. It's so expressive and it really captures every moment. This has definitely become one of my favorites!

[Raspberry]

...*can't speak* (great fic! really great job War Dove! I'll obey your orders)

[RelenaDorlinYuy1]

OMG I read this so soo many time but i havent got to Review you @_@

all i have to say this is amazing you have Heero Characater in check and the angts is something i was speech less . This is a great story !!