Where I Can Say Chapter 6: I have Nightmares About You

[deathroseaiko]

Where I Can Say:

By: Lazi N Lonely Rei

Author?s Notes: I?d like to thank all those who reviewed. Mostly to those who stuck and waited for the update.

And I would like to thank and dedicate this chapter to shadow blackheart for sending me the sweetest review ever.

Other people I would like to thank for the recent reviews:

pheonixspirit

heaven'sgirl

gundamgirl818

Nubia

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you people for enjoying this story. This chapter is dedicated to shadow blackheart because she sent me the greatest review I have ever had. But don?t think I forgot you others who reviewed. This chapter is still told from Heero?s point of view. But after a while, it will return to Relena?s point of view for just a paragraph until it goes back to Heero.
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Two months has passed and I visited Relena only when she was sleeping. Each night I dreamed of the words she had said to me, hitting me and washing me in waves bringing fear. Fear that she would never love me?..

When she was finally able to go home, she went to live in the estate with Duo, Hilde, and my father. I came by often to try to get forgiveness but the anger of the betrayal still lurked in my loved ones lives.

In the parallel universe, Relena and Heero are happy. As I sat lonely in my apartment, propped in a leather chair watching TV in the dark. Colors of blue from the screen flickered back and forth in the darkness and on the face. If one was to look at me they would think I was dead with the pale blue painting my face.

In my dream world, Relena and I are eating dinner together in the mansion, the place I used to live until it was tainted of memories and Relena?s blood. The police still haven?t found who threw the gas, they knew that the incident was planned. I could feel it too, and somehow I knew that Relena knew who it was.

?Relena?? I whispered her name wishing I could see her. When I had last seen her was when she was dressed in sweat pants and a red T-shirt walking with Duo out of the hospital. I saw her from behind because I hadn?t known she was leaving. I was her husband?and I didn?t even know she was leaving the dreadful place where they had previously flooded her system with medicine. She had lost a lot of weight that through the tight T-shirt, you could see her rib cages. Her skin was so pale that if she had worn all white, she would?ve blended in with the white washed walls.

I stood up and turned the TV off. I needed to see her, see how she was doing. I was pulling on my leather jacket when a knock was vibrated through my apartment door. My brows furrowed as I pulled my jacket on properly and walked over to the door.

Turning the knob I looked up after the door was wide open. There stood a woman standing straight with a purse in front of her. Dressed in a pair of dark washed jeans and a leather vest, she looked so dangerous, yet so sexy. Her honey blonde hair was pulled in a messy ponytail, it had grown so long but I could tell it had been recently cut, some strands of hair framed her face and I couldn?t help but continue to look at her.

I reached out?.slowly, hoping that when I touched her, I wouldn?t wake up. Hoping that when I grazed my fingers against her cheek, she wouldn?t disappear. My rough large fingers danced lightly against her cheek and her eyes never left mines. Finally I cupped her cheek and she never moved.

?Relena?? I came and hugged her gently. When she rested her cheek against my chest my heart broke at the words that came out of her mouth.

?Why did you do that to me??

I pulled back, I let go and took a step back as if she had burnt me. I looked everywhere but at her. I could feel sadness, anger, and betrayal coming off in waves from her. I took another step back and turned my back to her trying to avoid the emotions flooding off of her and drowning me. I heard the door close and I looked down. I heard footsteps from her high heeled boots as it clicked softly against the wooden floors.

Her fingers touched my arm lightly and almost on impulse I pulled my arm from her grasp causing her to fall down. I heard the sound of her weight being dropped heavily down onto the ground and I turned around in fear.

God did she know what she did to me?.

She didn?t say anything but stand up quickly, swinging her small purse to be held in her other hand. That?s when I looked into her eyes.

Her eyes were a dark shade of blue, the color of the ocean when it was evening and the sun had stopped setting and the moon had not rise yet. Each time she blinked, something new came to her eyes, something I could not describe. Her full but thin light pink lips moved to repeat the question I could never answered.

But if I was going to get her to at least think about forgiving me was to tell her the truth. Yet I didn?t say anything, all I did was continue to look at her blankly as my mind worked to come up with an answer and for my mouth to at least move.

?Did you enjoy it or something? I mean if you did, than fine. I can understand?if I?m not good enough.?

My mind screamed at me to say no and say she?s perfect but nothing seemed to work. I watched blankly as if I was in a trance as tears came in small waterfalls down her eyes and to her cheeks. Inside her eyes, the blue shook.

?Maybe?we could get divorced after a few months. I mean in two months our marriage would?ve lasted for a year, we could divorce a week later. I mean I think I filled up the bet right? And you could finally go in public with the person you really love.?

?I?? Damn it, I had to say something. I wanted her, I wanted her badly. ?I think that maybe what you saw?.shouldn?t have been any of your business.?

My mind screamed at me to take it back and shouted the question of why I had to say that. The next thing I knew her hand connected with my cheek. And I could hear her choke on a sob as she started to scream at me.

?I KNOW IT WASN?T ANY OF MY BUSINESS! BUT?.nevermind!? Relena spun on her heel and walked out of the door but I could tell she wanted to run, run as far away from me as possible.

As she was closing the door that?s when my mind kicked into gear. ?Relena, wait! That?s?? She had already closed the door and left me, ?not what I wanted to say?? I whispered after her.

Relena?s point of view:

I ran and I cried. The memory of the past year burned deep into my mind and my heart, it tugged and played at the cords of my heart making me ache.

The face I saw when the window had broken had been one that appeared only in my distant memories. The reason I figured out behind it killed me.

The image of Heero and Sylvia making love in the bed I had previously slept in just burned me.

But the thing that I hated the most was that I was awake, dying slowly in pain. That I lost the things I worked so hard to get and the things that made me happy.

I crashed into someone and fell down. When I looked up I saw the face I never wanted to see again.

?Trowa?.?

Author?s Notes: Yep I think you can figure out who the attacker was. But there?s more to it as always!

[perfectpeach]

trowa's the attacker! no! he's too nice and hot! oh my! more please more! this is getting unbearably interesting.

[RelenaDorlinYuy1]

NOOOOOO !!!! You cant stop you need to go on !!! i read the other chappy i went WTH !!!! and Trowa NOOOOO

anyway i hope u update real soon !!!

[kawaiiemogirl]

omgomg more more. it's so emotional.

[deathroseaiko]

aww thankx.