Twisted Karma [R] 3/?

[Andrea]

Twisted Karma
By Andrea Sinisterra
Angst/Romance/Tragedy
Rated R
Standard Disclaimers Apply


Author?s Note: Well, I?m back! I?m sorry I took so long, I have a bunch of excuses, but I will spare you all. I?ve been working on a new fic that I will be posting soon enough. It?s my first non-cannon story, so I really hope everyone will like it. ?Hey, I need to promote my work! Don?t sue me!

Warnings: This chapter is pretty much harmless. Just some reference to some violence, a.k.a., rape. Also, not proofread.


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<b>Part 3</b>

It had only been a month and a few days since her birthday, yet here she was, sitting alone on a hotel?s bathroom floor, almost two weeks late and with such a broken heart she was surprised she was still alive. How cruel to have conceived on such an awful night, under such depressing circumstances. And no one would ever know but her. It just wasn?t something one could easily forget.

A child. She unconsciously rubbed her stomach, a faint smile touching her lips.

She wondered what had happened. She was on the pill; she wasn?t supposed to get pregnant. She wanted to cry harder; it was so ironic. She had always wanted to have kids; to fulfill that dream of having a house full of children; children with whom she could cry and laugh, who would call her ?mommy? and would love her unconditionally and without reserves. So ironic that she was now pregnant as a result of a?

She rushed to the toilet again, retching so horrendously her throat was starting to feel sore.

She stood up on shaky legs, her entire bodyweight against the sink as she bent to wash her mouth and face. She had to make sure she was pregnant. It was all just suspicion based on dates and a morning sickness that could easily be a rounding virus or whatnot. She rushed to her room, throwing her suitcases on the bed to pack her clothes as fast as she could. She had to get to Sanq, she knew Margaret would help her. She needed someone who was levelheaded and aware of the real situation of her marriage? She needed someone who knew what happened that miserable day and why; because of it, she was dreading this pregnancy.

She stopped a moment to regard the thought with a sigh. Having a child now would be such a cruel, brutal reminder of what her husband was capable of; that child hadn?t been conceived in love, it wasn?t even conceived in passion. She didn?t want her child to suffer like that; God forbid. And yet?she smiled?loving it would be so natural; she wasn?t even sure she was pregnant and she couldn?t keep her hands from touching her stomach. This was something she had always desired. Something she had craved with the last fiber of her being. It was such a punishment it had happened in such dreary circumstances.

She called the airline again and changed her ticket to the earliest flight leaving for Sanq, which was in three hours. She finished packing her bags, making sure to take all her toiletries and other things she usually stashed in the bathroom and vanity. A stationary pad caught her attention; she probably should leave a note to her husband. He deserved the right to know why his wife wasn?t home. Home; she almost snorted at her choice of words. What home? Really!

When she reached the front desk, a bellboy with her two suitcases in tow, she asked for the manager, a sweet, chubby-cheeked, 60 year-old Swiss. The man was a bit alarmed when he saw her alone with her suitcases, knowing full well Andr? was not in the hotel.

?Is everything alright, Mrs. Arag?n?? He had a frown adorning his brows, and he unconsciously pulled at the hems of his suit?s jacket.

?Oh, yes. There?s nothing to be worried about. I just miss my family terribly, Mr. Slovak, and quite frankly, with all the holiday jitters going around, you can?t blame me for it.? She smiled sweetly, knowing the man had been somewhat protective of her. And quite frankly, who wouldn?t be when she was always alone, sitting at the restaurant or out by the pool by herself? ?I have a favor to ask of you, sir.?

He nodded, a small smile etching his lips. ?Of course.?

?When my husband comes back, would you please give this to him?? She reached inside her purse and took out a neatly folded paper, handing it to Mr. Slovak with slightly shaky hands. Was she really afraid to tell Andr? herself? She had planned on asking him first and if he refused, she would fly alone? But now, with what was going on, she wasn?t too sure how he would take the news. She knew Andr? didn?t want kids, at least not now. But when? When she was old and gray and could barely walk straight? ?I?m so sorry I have to put you in this situation??

Mr. Slovak put a hand up to stop her, shaking his head and smiling at the same time. ?Say no more.? He extended his hand, taking the piece of paper from her quivering fingers. ?As soon as Mr. Arag?n returns, I?ll give it to him.?

Relena bent forward at the waist in a show of appreciation, smiling widely even if her stomach continued to jump and quake in apprehension. ?I have no words of gratitude that are enough, Mr. Slovak. Thank you.?

He shook his head. ?There?s no need for those. I hope you have a safe trip, Mrs. Arag?n. Benjamin!? He snapped his fingers at a passing-by bellboy. ?Call a driver; there?s a beautiful lady who needs to be escorted to the airport immediately.?

And it was just like that. She couldn?t help but sigh nervously when the plane jerked forward as it angled its way to the runway, ready to take flight. She wondered how her parents would react when they saw her alone; they would immediately assume there were problems between Andr? and her, who wouldn?t?

It was a six-hour flight to Sanq, enough time for her to think of what she wanted to say; to think of ways to explain why she was alone. She needed to talk to Margaret; she needed to tell her what was going on. She couldn?t take that test alone. She needed her support. In the bottom of her heart, Relena wished it were Andr? the one there with her, in the doctor?s examination room, holding her hand. She wished to see his face light up with happiness when they were told they were, indeed, expecting a child. A creation of the union of their love.

Tears clouded her vision as that picture played and replayed in her mind. But, oh, how wonderful it would be. It would be normal, except her marriage was everything but normal. When had things started to go so wrong for them? When had things shattered beyond recognition? When had Andr? started treating her like that? Why did she let him?

The answer to that question rang through her head in evil ways, taunting and teasing her, mocking her foolishness. She let him do whatever he wanted because she was weak, because she loved him too much to lose him. She let him do the things he wanted because she was afraid of what he was capable of doing to her.

And who would believe the truth? No one would. To everyone else, Andr? was the perfect man: hard-worker, charming, polite, humorous, successful, and handsome. He was the perfect husband. No one would believe her. They would first put her in a mental institution.

How disgusting she felt. How utterly powerless. How incredibly alone.




She rang the bell, fidgeting slightly and her hands sweating despite the cold weather. She had decided to go to her parent?s, instead of her own house. She didn?t really feel like being alone. She needed some time with her family, to catch up with everything. She was worried of what her mother?s reaction would be. Relena was afraid her mother would reprimand her for leaving without telling Andr?. She dearly hoped she?d understand her motives. She was starting to regret coming so unexpectedly, but when she turned around, the taxi was gone. The sound of the cab grew more and more distant, and she realized there was nowhere else to go. She was tempted to walk to the nearest hotel, but thought better of it; she was sick of staying in hotels. That, and the sound of the lock unhooking as the door opened to reveal her mother?s beautiful features made her change her mind.

She hadn?t intended to cry, in fact, she had convinced herself that crying would solve nothing? But the sight of her mother?s familiar face, the smile that formed tender creases along her mouth and eyes, the sight of her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, did her in. She sniffed before she threw her hands around her mother, crying uncontrollably as her body shook with suppressed sobs.

?Oh, Relena.? Her mother sniffed, hugging her daughter tightly, rubbing her back in tender circles. ?It?s so good to see you, my darling. Come on in, it?s freezing outside.?

There?s just something so utterly beautiful in the scent and feel of one?s house. Especially when you no longer lived there. Relena?s eyes watered again at the sight of the living room; it was just as she remembered it. Everything was just as she remembered it when she was younger.

Amelia Peacecraft sniffed lightly, drying the tears from her face with a hand. ?Let?s get these suitcases up to your room. Margaret is upstairs, I?m sure you girls have some catching up to do.?

Relena turned around and hugged her mother again; kissing her cheek and smiling as they bent to each take a suitcase and carry them upstairs to her room. It was still as she had left it, and the frilly decorating, all the blue and green was so welcoming she never again wanted to step foot outside her house.

?I?ll go tell Margie you?re here. She?ll be thrilled.?

She nodded absently, still looking around. She felt like a stranger; it had been so long since she had stayed at home. She was suddenly bombarded with memories, all the time she spent here, laughing and playing. She had been so carefree and happy. Now all that seemed to linger around her was sadness and pain.

The moment Margaret opened the door, standing there still as if in shock, both of them burst in tears as they ran to embrace each other tightly. They laughed and cried as they continued to hug, running their hands through the other?s hair in tenderness.

?I can?t believe you?re really here. I thought you were coming next week!? Margaret whispered tearfully against her older sister?s shoulder. She pulled back to wipe her cheeks with her hands, smiling softly as they made their way to the bed.

They each reached for a pillow, hugging it to their chests.

?How are you?? Relena asked, suddenly craving to fill the sudden silence. Her sister sat there, staring at her with a confused, pained look that made Relena feel uncomfortable.

?Cut the crap.? Margaret snapped harshly, angry and hurt. ?We know why you?re here, Rellie.?

Relena sighed heavily, suddenly feeling exhausted and boneless. ?Marsh, I really don?t want to??

?Bullshit, Relena! When are you going to open your eyes?! How much longer will you let him treat you like this? Until he kills you? Why do you let him do this to you? I just? don?t understand!? Margaret?s last words were uttered in a broken whisper.

?I don?t know.? Relena?s voice why soft and Margaret?s eyes filled with renewed tears at the lost look in her sister?s eyes. ?I don?t know why I still love him? I want to believe the man I fell in love with is still there? Margaret, he used to be so good to me; I don?t know what?s happened. I want him back so bad? I don?t know why he treats me this way??

Margaret shook her head. ?Relena? I don?t think he ever loved you. I mean really, really loved you. Everything happened so fast! Your meeting, the wedding, and then you left??

Relena sighed heavily, lying down on the bed as she stared at the ceiling. How many times had she wondered that? She knew Margaret?s words were the truth? But what could she do if she was still in love with him? ?I?m such a masochist, Marsh. I know we married too soon? But I loved him so much? I still do? I?m afraid of him? How can one be afraid of her own husband??

?You should? file for divorce. It?s the best thing to do. You can?t let him continue doing this to you. It?s self-destructive, Relena, you have to understand you?re only hurting yourself.?

?I know?? She took a deep breath. ?I can?t.?

Margaret frowned. ?Can?t what??

?I can?t divorce him now? I?m? I think I may be pregnant.?

Margaret dragged a hand over her face, shaking her head softly. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, unbidden. ?Oh, hon? Are you sure? I mean, have you taken a test??

Relena shook her head, her tears rolling down her temples, swallowed by the mattress under her head. ?No, I haven?t. But you don?t understand, Marsh? Do you know how long I?ve wanted to have a baby? I?m so thrilled by this? but at the same time, I?m so afraid.?

Margaret moved behind her sister, cradling her head in her lap. She threaded her fingers through her sister?s hair, running them through its length in a haunting pace. ?Does he know??

Relena sighed again. ?No? I found out this morning. I had to take a plane back, I just couldn?t stay there. How can I be afraid to tell my own husband I?m expecting his child!?? She cried out, breaking down again as she sobbed and hid her face behind her hands.

?Let?s do something; rest now. Tomorrow morning we?re going to get an appointment with Dr. Andrews. We need to know for sure if you are pregnant or not. Right now, it?s just speculation. And if you are, then we?ll find a way. Relena,? Margaret pushed her sister up so she was sitting in front of her. ?You can?t go back with him. You understand that, don?t you? You need to tell mom what?s going on.?

Relena was shaking her head even before her sister had finished talking. ?I can?t? Mom would never understand. She doesn?t even believe in divorce! She?ll say it?s my entire fault! And? Andr? needs to know? He needs to know I?m expecting his child. I could never do that to him.?

Margaret shook her head, completely phased by her sister?s devotion towards that asshole of a husband. ?I? how can you?Never mind. Get some rest. I?ll go call and make that appointment.?




She and Margaret made their way to a caf? a couple of minutes away from the clinic. She had gone early that morning to get the blood test done; Relena was anxious and feeling biased, feeling happiness seep through her skin at the prospect of being pregnant, yet at the same time, feeling burdened by the circumstances and possible consequences her condition might present.

She was a livid bundle of nerves when they finally claimed an empty booth by the window, a waitress coming over with a wide smile and a pad in her hands. They ordered Caesar salads with diet coke and a glass of water for Relena.

?Rellie, relax.? Margaret reached across the table to take a hold of her sister?s hands, squeezing them reassuringly.

?I?m sorry? It?s just that I?m so confused. I want this child with the very last fiber of my being, yet I can?t help but feel guilty and? I don?t know what I?m saying.?

Margaret frowned. ?Why do??

?If I?m pregnant, it?s very possible I conceived the night of my birthday.?

Margaret looked lost for a second, a small frown creasing her brows, before her hand jerked up to cover her mouth in disbelieve. ?Jesus??

Relena?s mouth thinned at the memory of that night, the very first time Andr? had ever forced himself on her. ?I just don?t understand how it could?ve happened? I?m on the pill, Marsh.?

?Well, you know how it is; it?s 99% safe.?

Relena couldn?t help but snort at her words. ?And just my luck to be in that measly 1%?

Margaret shrugged. ?Hey, it?s still a blessing.?

Relena smiled softly. ?I know. I can?t believe it??

?Just don?t get your hopes so high up; we still don?t know for sure.? Margaret leaned back on the booth, a smile on her lips. ?I?m going to be an aunt??

Relena couldn?t help but laugh at her sister?s surprised voice. ?An aunt? I?m going to be a mother??




Two weeks later and a month and a half pregnant, Relena found herself dodging garment bags and pushing her way through the thick mass of people in the mall. She wanted to get her shopping done before it was too late and the streets would be even more crowded. That and her deep desire to avoid the phone. Andr? had called, angry as ever, demanding an explanation to the ?miserable letter? she had left him at the hotel. At one point he had gotten so angry, Relena had broken down in tears, forcing Amelia to intervene and protect her daughter.

Amelia had been beyond shocked after Relena and Margaret had told her everything. Relena couldn?t even finish the story before she started crying, and Margaret had been more than happy to relate to their mother what Andr? had done to Relena. Amelia, to Relena?s surprise, had suggested she get a divorce, and that she was not to worry since she was more than welcome to stay home. They had even called Pagan to come, since Relena wasn?t going to spend the holidays at her house and neither was Andr?.

But still, even after all that had happened, and with her mother?s support, Relena felt attached to Andr?, and even more so since she was pregnant with his child. She had the shimmering hope inside her heart that he would change his attitude when he learned he was going to be a parent, since she reasoned who wouldn?t? It was human nature to feel protective of one?s own family. And who could blame her, she had only lived 9 years with him, right?

And then she?d realized she was making up excuses. She knew, in the deepest recesses of her heart, that Andr? would not change?would never change. He still didn?t know she was pregnant, Relena hadn?t wanted to tell him over the phone; it just wasn?t right.

She rubbed her still flat stomach, trying to soothe the sudden stretching feeling she felt inside. She frowned as it turned more painful, and she reached out to support her weight against a windowpane, breathing deeply as she tried to calm herself. When the pain subsided, she continued walking, making her way through the people to the food court. The tip of her shoulder throbbed annoyingly, and the pain in abdomen came back with double force as she collapsed on a chair, clutching her stomach with one hand and her shoulder with the other. She was starting to feel weak, and her skin broke out in a cold sweat, leaving her clammy and pale?

?Relena??

She felt someone touch her shoulder, the voice filled with deep concern as the person sat beside her. She looked up and the face was very familiar, even through the haze and dizziness she was in. ?Mr. Yuy?? Her voice came out papery; she gasped when another cramp surged through her, crying out as she wobbled on her seat and Heero?s arms reached out to steady her.

?What?s wrong? You?re pale.? He reached to touch her forehead, but her skin was cold. Her eyes had turned glassy and she looked almost delirious. ?Are you here alone? Where?s Andr???

Relena shook her head as she took in deep breaths. ?I?m alone. Can you help me stand up??

Heero stood up and reached down to take her arm. As soon as she rose on her feet, her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she collapsed in a dead faint, her entire body weight resting heavily on him. He scrambled to keep her from hitting the ground, hefting her up in his arms, calling her name loudly to wake her up. People started gathering around them, whispering as they tried to get a better look at what was going on.

?Someone call an ambulance!? Heero yelled at no one in particular, scared as blood stained her khakis and touched his clothes. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, even as he tried to shake her to get her to open her eyes.



To be continued...

[AnShino]

Ahh!! Another chapter! *squee* ^^ Very very nice Andrea. I can't wait for the next one. I wanna see Andr? burn in hell for what he's done! What a coincidence I read this after reading Dreamland by Sarah Dessen [it's about a girl in the same situation as Rel minus the part about being pregnant].

The whole battered wife thing is interesting if you ask me, but I think I'm getting off track. I can't wait to see where the story goes.

[perfectpeach]

andrea...andr?....andrea...andr?...is there a subtle connection here we should know about?

on another note YAY! I need to read more! my freind has just ended her abusive relationship. i want to see relena do the same ^^

[Andrea]

Oi... It's just... coincidence... I mean, I can be evil sometimes, but I'm not cruel!! I... *sniff* ...I resent that, Perfectpeach.

As for the update; YAY! I'll squee with you, AnShino. About time, ne?

I still have a few twists (pun intended!) for this story, so it's still not over. It's just getting started... I mean, look! Heero has JUST come into the story! YAY!

Thanks, sweets, for reviewing! *huggles*

[kawaiiemogirl]

Dude this is getting really interesting....I wanna read more!!!

[Morrighan]

Oh no!! Is she miscarrying? Oh geez, what drama this'll cause when Heero finds out what this whole mess is about...

...Are you by any chance channeling me through Margaret? I swear that girls sounds and acts just like me.

Can't wait to see more, Andrea!

[lilac310]

finally!!! Heero to the rescue!....oh, how I wish it was Heero's baby instead of that son of a @#$&*!!!...hahaha..oh well, great job!!! can't wait for the next chappie!

[Andrea]

Dude this is getting really interesting....I wanna read more!!!

Thanks, hon! I aim for interesting/unexpected/holy-shit-wtf??/O.o'

I've already started on chapter four; I have a few ideas for this fic, so expect many <i>see goal/aim above</i> twists.

Oh no!! Is she miscarrying? Oh geez, what drama this'll cause when Heero finds out what this whole mess is about...

...Are you by any chance channeling me through Margaret? I swear that girls sounds and acts just like me.

Can't wait to see more, Andrea!

I hadn't thought about that... But now that you've mentioned it... Margaret DOES sound like you! Well, she's Relena's sister.... and since you're MY sister, I guess it does make sense.

And about the miscarriage thing... I think it's a little more complicated than that.

Expect some angst in the next chappie, but after that, I'll make sure to inject some romance/fluff... before it all tumbles down again.

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.

finally!!! Heero to the rescue!....oh, how I wish it was Heero's baby instead of that son of a @#$&*!!!...hahaha..oh well, great job!!! can't wait for the next chappie!

But it's none other than my 'upset-reluctant reviewer'!! I hope I have appeased your 1xR thirst; I know you've been craving HxR since the very chapter...


Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! *is very happy*

[Morrighan]

I hadn't thought about that... But now that you've mentioned it... Margaret DOES sound like you! Well, she's Relena's sister.... and since you're MY sister, I guess it does make sense.

Sweet.

[WingZero2118]

wow. this is getting really really good. i love the plot line. not ur normal happy go lucky fanfic which is refreshing in its own way. im looking forward to the next chapter. keep up the good work.