Mercenary Relena 4/?

[wicked]

Disclaimer: Guess what! I still don't own the characters, the series, or much of anything in life! Woohoo!

Pairing: 3xR
Spoilers: None
Rating: R due to coarse language and sexual references.

AN: Relena, Heero, Elevator, Bunnies. Oh yeah, and it's short-er than the others sans the prologue.


Mercenary Relena Chapter Four
by Wicked Child

Tuesday morning saw Relena sitting at her desk shuffling through her daily shit and sucking on an ice cube. The weekend hadn?t gone as well as she?d hoped. Her entire body ached not only from the fall down the hill but also from sleeping on the ground for two days as well as one night in a tree. She swore that Trowa had done it all on purpose, calling her soft. That comment led to her anger which led to a bet, which led to her losing the bet.

?Two-bit clown,? she groused.

Her door opened revealing Heero?s frame, no make that his scent, in the doorway. Relena stood collecting her things and prepared to leave. She didn?t look at her bodyguard. She didn?t comment on his presence. She just strode out of the room knowing full well that he would fall in step next to her.

The two walked in silence down the hallway. Heero silently trying to figure out her mood while Relena tried to figure out why he insisted on gagging her with his cologne. Maybe that?s how he plans on assassinating me, she thought. Death by cologne.

Once in the elevator Heero spoke before being spoken to. A first.

Heart don?t fail me now!, she thought sarcastically.

?Where were you this weekend?

?Out.?

?Where? As your bodyguard I need to know where you are at all times.?

Relena rolled her eyes. No shit. I can't even masturbate without you knowing. ?I went to be by myself.?

?With Trowa??

Anger began coursing throughout her body. What business was it of his who she spent her time with? She hated having his protection and she hated even more the need for his protection. She didn't understand why Dr. J had never told Heero when to give up on a promise.

She looked at her bodyguard. He was smirking. If she wasn?t all achy she may have actually tried hitting the smug know-it-all. Instead she just glared at him. ?If you knew where I was, why ask??

Heero shrugged. ?Why see Barton? You two have never really spoken. There is no possible reason to see the man.?

"Jealous?"

"Hardly."

Yes, she decided. I do hate Heero Yuy. ?I went to the circus. I haven?t been since I was a little girl.?

Heero raised an eyebrow. ?And??

Exasperated Relena just started talking, making it up as she went. ?I saw him and decided a man with a body like that would be perfect for losing my virginity to. He agreed so we went into the woods, fucked like bunnies on the ground, and had hot monkey sex in a tree!?

Ding.

The elevator doors opened and Relena left her bodyguard gaping at her, wondering what happened to the sweet innocent girl he used to know.

It has to be Barton?s fault, Heero thought. He stole her innocence with that ridiculous clown outfit and turned her into someone that would have given Colonel Une nightmares! Oh he?ll pay. He?ll pay dearly.

It was then that Heero decided that Trowa Barton had to die.

[Dark Deity]

i just don't know what to say to this.. Oh wait, i know!!! "^__________^" heh Take THAT Heero!

Dark D
-Ryry-

[Nausica?]

HA! "Hot monkey sex" is it? I have to admit, for someone who's supposed to be all innocent, Relena does make up the most interesting scenarios. *snaps fingers* You go, girl!

I loved the fact that she managed to shut Heero up - which, on second thought, sounds strange, cause Heero very rarely talks either way.

But anyways, what's up with Relena and sucking on an ice cube? What bet? Ooooh, did someone join the club and get a tongue piercing? Ha, Relena with her tongue pierced. I thought the day would never come ^_^


- Naus

[Ice_Vixen]

"Maybe that?s how he plans on assassinating me, she thought. Death by cologne."

That's hilarious!