Starman chapter 16

[wsprs]

The map was gone, but he understood that this machine was going in the right direction. This vehicle was large, and had a compartment in back in which they could hide. He didn?t know what the markings were on the side, but he understood that it was a mark of high authority. There were crates of guns and ammunition, and crates full of radio components and wires. Everyone was looking for him. Whatever was in those crates was meant to help that search. Therefore, the truck would be allowed to pass without being stopped and searched. At least long enough for him to do what he needed to do. Then he would leave, and she would be safe. Safe away from him.

He opened his palm; only two spheres remained. His eyes shone like two black pools of ink, but he set his jaw. This might take more out of him than he had strength, but there was no question. He closed his eyes, and took a single ball.

He raised his fist, and it steadily began to glow. Closing his eyes, he pushed his sorrow, his confusion, his anger away so that it flitted outside of the void left behind in his core.
Concentrating on that core, he allowed himself to be pulled into the lull of tranquil numbness.
Every sensation, every feeling, every thought flew from his stretched mind and sent his nerves into a flaying rage of fire. His body convulsed as his very essence was torn from his limbs and forced into the body of the woman below him. And still, he went on.

Into the night, he sat hunched above her, refusing to let her slip. Thread by thread, he rebuilt her shattered soul, repaired her broken body. His lungs burned, his eyes couldn?t see. All he knew was the rampaging whirlwind of light that he could barely hold. He was being decimated, but all he knew was that he could not let go, he could not give up, until every strand of searing, unbearable light was woven so that she could be made whole.

Outside the moon hung high. It?s glow was bright, but nothing compared to the light that shown through the windowed door of the Preventor cargo supply truck. If one looked closely, through the armored corner of the truck?s trailer, a glowing figure of a man could be made out. It ebbed and flowed as if struggling to stay lit, but it was as beautiful. It could be seen until the soft rays of pre-dawn overpowered it, but as though burned into the retina?s memory, the faint outline pulsed on.

The truck lumbered listlessly on, its destination very close to being reached. The driver could only think of rest and food, and when the truck finally hauled to a stop, didn?t check to see if his cargo was safe. He?d do it later, after he?d had a chance to pee. And maybe find some female company?

Exhausted, he collapsed next to her. Something inside him refused to succumb to his fatigue, and he forced himself to watch. Watch if she breathed. When a soft breath fled her lips, he felt his entire body shudder at its release. It was as though he were that breath, and his entire reason for being was the moment when he brushed passed her lips. A sense of wonder and splendor overcame him and with it, something unknown and never before felt. With the acknowledgement of this new sensation, the feeling spread all throughout his awareness until he could feel nothing else. Slowly? gently?, he embraced the sensations and absorbed them into his memory, making them a permanent part of his consciousness.

For minutes, he remained suspended in the free-fall between his feelings and her breathing, sure that they were one. Suddenly, understanding dawned on him. Holding his emotions tightly so that not a single precious one could escape him, he forced himself to rise. He would have choked on his tears, but they were too thick to rise from his chest to his throat. Instead, he burned her delicate form into his mind. He drank in the soft bend of her neck, the cascade of melted gold flowing around her, the perfect lashes shielding her closed eyelids from anything but perfect dreams. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to submit to the thundering in his chest. When he opened his eyes, they were clear.

He lowered his head to take in her scent. It was so lovely he could taste it. Taste?

Softly, so softly, he put his lips to hers. He closed his eyes, and savored what it was to taste sunlight. Caressing her cheek as he rose, he stood slowly and watched her breathing, content that his heartbeat matched. The movie had it wrong. A kiss wasn?t supposed to be fevered. It was supposed to be as gentle and beautiful as Relena Peacecraft.

He turned, and without looking back, closed the door behind him.


Relena groaned as sudden, albeit groggy consciousness returned. The light from the window crashed through her closed eyelids like a hammer on an anvil. She strained her stubborn muscles and was slowly able to push herself onto her side. There, she panted with effort, but forced her eyes open. A new string of agony pounded her skull behind her eyes where the light stabbed her.
My GOD. What?s happened to me?
Blinking away the last strands of haze that fogged her brain, she sat up. She could sense that something was not right, but sat dazed and stared from one corner of the truck to the next, trying to place what it was. Slowly, her mind won free of fog, and her limbs began to respond without complaint. As she looked around, her mind snapped with sudden clarity.
?OH!?
She vaulted up as quickly as her wobbly legs would allow, and threw herself through the doors of the Preventor truck. To her left was a small trucker restaurant, and without haste, made her way.

Tossing her head from side to side, she found what she had been searching for. A vid-phone booth.

Glancing around to make sure no one was paying particular close attention, she dialed a number she had put to memory years before. After a few frustrating rings that caused her to bounce in impatience, the line was picked up. There before her was a beautiful sight: A blatantly irritated man holding his portable vid-phone in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other - clearly upset at being awoken. A mussy Wufei in a rumpled Preventor?s uniform glared at her with bleary eyes that didn?t quite recognize her yet. Hastily, and probably unconsciously, he smoothed his hair and prepared to yell at the unlucky person who dared to interrupt his much needed, much neglected sleep. Slowly, it dawned on him just who had dared. When his jaw dropped and eyes bulged, she couldn?t help the wry grin that pulled at her lips. Just for kicks, she crossed her arms and waited until she thought he would burst with anxiety. His eyes rolled and he huffed.
?Well!??
She jumped, and Wufei immediately looked around, though he was alone. In spite of that, when he looked back to Relena, his voiced was significantly more hushed.
?Well? Where are you? Are you safe??
At this, he peered suspiciously around Relena?s shoulder. She smiled and shook her head.
Dear Wufei. Do you know what a pain you are? Do you know that?s precisely why I value your friendship so?
Apparently, she didn?t answer fast enough, so Wufei filled the silence.
?I assume you?ve contacted me because you feel I owe you something.?
Shocked and totally thrown off, she could only listen as he continued, though she got the distinctive impression that he was talking at her, and not to her, as if he was embarrassed.
?You knew I was on duty, therefore you know it was I who was at fault for the pod crashing close enough so that its occupant could abduct you. Well, I concede. I will listen to anything you have to say. But I might not grant you whatever request you might have of me. I heard what you requested of Quatre.?
He glared at her in arrogant defiance.
?I assure you, I will not be as easily persuaded.?
She took in a deep breath and composed herself.
?Wufei. I know you won?t believe me if I say you have no fault of any sort or size, so I?ll just say that whether or not you were at fault is insignificant. I contacted you because I need your influence.?
He blinked, and she rushed to clarify before he could come up with conclusions of his own.
?Duo ? well, Duo is Duo. Quatre would eventually report everything I say even if I asked him to be discrete, and would only feel guilty for betraying my request. Trowa would probably comply, but he?s far from biased. He simply states what he sees and disregards personal resolution. For this, I need someone whose opinion is hard won. Because an opinion that isn?t easily persuaded one way or another has strength.?
He seemed impressed, and nodded for her to continue.
?Before I say anything more, I want to tell you that I appreciate the trouble you?ve all gone through in trying to locate me. I know I?ve not been cooperative to that effect. But I?d like you to understand something? something that might explain my actions??
When she trailed off, she had a chance to assess Wufei?s reaction. So far, his mouth was in a tight line and his eyes were pinched, but she could tell that he was listening. Even if it was at a colossal effort.
?I have not been kidnapped.?
His eyes shot open and his face instantly turned a shade darker.
?Not been..??
They both knew very well that she had been kidnapped, and that saying differently was absurd. Wufei seemed to crumble into himself, trying to keep control of his already over taxed body and strained mind. She must have reason for requesting that he play along, and he would listen as promised. But it didn?t mean that he had to like it. He closed his eyes, and visibly took deep, calming breaths. When he opened his eyes, they were hard and bored into her, but they were not unkind or without worry.
?Allow me to reiterate. You have.. not.. been kidnapped??

She nodded and chewed her lip. His eyes appeared unfocused, and he actually seemed to pout.
?Then can you tell me what we?ve been doing these past two days??
They both heard it, though neither would ever admit to hearing the great Wufei whine. She understood his frustration. He wanted to know why he should participate in her game, so she would tell him. She put on her warmest smile, which wasn?t difficult, and touched her palm to the screen. His eyes flicked to the intimate gesture, and slowly his scowl disappeared. When he placed his fingertips on the screen over hers, she continued. He didn?t meet her eyes.
?Wufei. Please tell Milliardo. There?s no reason to chase us any longer. I?m safe? and I?m where I want to be.?
At this, Wufei started, but otherwise didn?t move, except to raise his eyes to Relena?s. He peered at her as though weighing her words, and she willed her desperation to flow from her gaze into his. Slowly, his face relaxed.
?You do realize that he will go after you regardless of your message.?
He realized what he said and jumped as he hastily added,
?If I decide to relay it.?
She expelled a breath she hadn?t known she had been holding and smiled, relieved.
?I know. That is precisely why I want you to tell him I wasn?t kidnapped. Because you were on duty the night I, uh,?left?, everyone knows that you believe you have more reason than any other to capture ? um, to come after us. If you tell him you believe I left by my own will, he will come believing that there is more he can understand. He will be less inclined to be violent in such case.?
He looked ready to argue, but kept silent. After a moment, he nodded, and she took him in with shining eyes. She took her hand from the screen and whispered thanks before disconnecting.
Wufei still sat on his end with his fingers on the screen. He lowered his head until it rest near his hand and stared at the blank display. It was blurred from such a close proximity, but he wasn?t looking at it. He wasn?t looking at anything.
?Relena. I will do as you asked. But I don?t agree with you. I don?t believe you are capable of clear thought at present.?
He raised his head and stared out the window to the clear sky in defiance. Scowling, he yelled so loud the glass shook.
?But I will be there to make sure you come to your senses!?
With that, he turned and stormed out the door.

Relena disconnected and nearly bounded out of the booth, her eyes full of hope and relief.
He?s going to help me. Thank you, Wufei. Thank you!
She put her hand to her chest to make sure her heart wouldn?t break through her breastplate. Her eyes scanned the room, but she was too overcome with the jumble of her emotions to take in the room and those in it with detail. To her, there was a blur of backs and a hum of voices. Timid yet determined, she looked from corner to corner, looking for someone alone and bored. Growing more and more anxious, her boldness grew. She was desperate, and didn?t have time to pick and chose. She cleared her voice, and put on her diplomat?s face. Loud enough so that her voice carried, she spoke.
?Excuse me, please. I?m going South.?
She rifled through her wallet, and found a wad of cash left over from the motel. She counted 63 dollars, which was the North West Continent?s equivalent to 41 odd credits. Credits would have been better, they could be used anywhere on Earth and in space without an exchange fee. But dollars was all she had. She twisted her mouth in a grim line. Dollars would at least show how desperate she was. Holding it above her head, she continued.
?I have 63 dollars for anyone willing to take me through the Wyoming/Colorado border.?
Relena held her breath to still the choking fear of rejection. As she scanned the room once again, she didn?t see a single person volunteer, let alone let on that they had heard her request. Refusing to give up, she opened her mouth to try again, but was interrupted by a soft voice.
?I will take you.?
Relief burst through her limbs, and she nearly fell to her knees. Her eyes glossed over with tears, leaving her unable to see. Boneless, she allowed herself to be guided to a black 1941 chevy coup-convertible with red and yellow flames air brushed on the hood and sides. Blinking in astonishment, she reached her hand out to caress the miraculous antique.
?Beautiful, isn?t it??
Suddenly aware that she wasn?t alone, she turned to the man who spoke ? and choked. He grinned as he opened her door, and assisted her as she sat so she wouldn?t topple over.
?It?s better that you don?t let on that you know me, anyway. Everyone headed for the border is being watched by local police. If it was known that we are familiar, it would appear suspicious.?
She closed her gaping mouth, and just nodded. Trowa went to the driver?s side and let himself in.
Trowa took off leaving a plume of sand and dirt behind him. A few uncomfortable minutes of silence passed as they blew passed grassy hills and cows. Relena knew Trowa was content with the quiet, but she was a bit unnerved. She knew that he would be patient ? and silent, and let her speak when and if she was ready. He was so accommodating, it was annoying. So, she went about it the long way just to prove she could suppress her screaming heart and be patient. Besides, she was genuinely curious. Really. She was.
?How did you come by this beautiful car??
His eyes flicked toward her, but there was no other sign that he had heard her. Even so, she knew he was aware of her round-about conversation and was humoring her. Despite his courtesy, it exasperated her that it put her at ease so effortlessly.
?Actually, it was a gift.?
A minute went by, and when he said nothing more to specify, she tossed her head in his direction and glared. He actually had the audacity to laugh!! If it weren?t so out of character, she would have slapped him. Well, she would have wanted to. As it was, she began to laugh as well. Pleased that she was no longer uptight, Trowa answered her.
?We were doing a show on L2 and Cathrine saw it in a junkyard. She asked Duo to dig it up for her, and over the last year, I?ve restored it.?
He cocked his eyebrow and grinned mischievously.
?It has more under the hood than a typical classic Chevy would have??
Her eyes glinted with the same light as his.
?Then what say we pick up the speed a bit??
He merely complied, and Relena reveled in the air flying through her hair. Feeling infinitely better, she decided it was time to broach the subject. She looked at him with wide, searching eyes.
?You know I?m going after him? So why are you helping me??
His features dimmed into the stoic persona he usually wore. After a moment of contemplation, he answered her quietly and gently, as if pulling a cherished yet worn possession from a box and handing it to her.
?Because the only way to have a good life is to live by your emotions.?
She sat, stunned, and studied him. It was as though he had never spoken; he was simply driving, thinking his thoughts and letting her think hers. Lowering her head, she rubbed her hands and pondered his words. Biting her lip, she raised her head to look at him again.
?I.. I think I don?t understand.?
He blinked and drew in a deep breath, and held it for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was soft, as though comforting her.
?He knew you were willing to sacrifice everything.?
When he saw her nod from the corner of his eye, he was unsurprised to see that she accepted his intimate knowledge without thought or question. That was about to disappear. He turned to her and captured her expectant gaze.
?What you didn?t know is that he was willing to do the same.?
He studied her face as it became stricken with confusion and bewilderment, and he waited for a moment before continuing, his eyes one again on the road.
?He believed you were the incarnation of peace; that peace would not be able to survive without your guidance. He was probably right. That was why he was unwilling to allow you to make a sacrifice that would take you away from the world. He believed it would break you once you realized what you had done.?
He looked at her briefly, and saw that she was devouring his words with desperation tinted with insatiable sorrow. He sighed with compunction, but felt it right that he finish relaying to Relena his last conversation with Heero. After all, Heero only confided in him because he knew somehow that someday Trowa would be the one to tell Relena.
Heero. That was your way, wasn?t it. Always waiting for the rest of us to catch up.
Trowa smirked as much as Trowa can at the profound thought, but he quickly swallowed it. His words were important, and the weight was heavy on his shoulders.
?He loved you. He loved you so much he was happy to love you from a distance. But he knew you needed more from him than what he gave. It destroyed him denying you that? he never forgave himself for causing you pain.?
Her eyes stung with fresh tears, and she fought to keep her lip from trembling. Even so, her voice shook.
?It was I all along, then. I was the one who saw black and white? the one who forced him to chose between his emotions and the world. What a horrible life I must have thrust upon him! Bound by self imposed duty and honor to protect peace, but bound by the same thing to protect that very same peace from itself. He was protecting me from myself, Trowa! And denying himself while doing so! I forced on him everything against his belief on how to have a good life. How could he have loved such a vicious monster?!?
Her tears finally won, and flowed over the brim of her eyelids. Quietly she sat. She didn?t shake, she didn?t sob, but the tears kept coming. They came in ones and twos, and finally became a constant stream down her cheeks. Her soul was breaking, but it needed to break before it could heal. Finally. Finally it would have a chance to heal. She would never be whole, but at least she would carry her love untarnished by pain and confusion. Because she knew the truth. And she was the only one at blame.
?He was waiting for me to see.. to understand that the people should always come first ? He knew it. He lived it. But me? I would have betrayed everything we?ve all fought so hard to gain. I would have chosen his love over the world?s peace??
Her voice grew in volume until she was shouting her anger and rage into the wind.
?I would have bastardized the meaning of love! I would have succumbed to my own selfish desires and put us back into the very same cage we broke free of!?
Her eyes slowly lost their fire, and her body slumped. She choked as she sobbed, but forced herself to finish, even as her body shook. Her words were as quiet now as they were loud before. Where the wind made her voice echo before, now it swallowed her words.
?That is why he took the bullet meant for me. He wanted me to see that sacrifice should be made for peace. Only in that peace can love ever be complete.?
Trowa?s voice was so soft she almost thought it was coming from inside her mind.
?You understand now.?
His words swathed over her in a delicate cascade, bringing her comfort.
?I?m helping you because I believe everyone deserves a chance to see the truth. You?ve finally seen yours, now it?s up to you to fully understand it.?
She turned to him, and through her tears, nodded. Looking back out the window, she gazed at the stars and remembered a time when they had held so much magic and hope for her.
You were my falling star, once. I suppose you always will be. But now instead of being blinded by it, I will see by it?s light. Never again will I forget what we all sacrificed for this peace. I?m sorry it took me so long, Heero. I hope you can forgive me?

[kawaiiemogirl]

Gosh...I actually cried. *sniff sniff*