The Jester's Deception

Tomorrow · Post by **Tomorrow** » Fri Jun 07, 2002 5:11 pm

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<TITLE>AN: Yaoi... in one of MY stories... I must be going crazy *smirks evilly and laughs as she thinks about what readers are in store for.* ?Have I actually decided to stray from the HY/RP pairing for 1+2???? ?You'll have to read to find out... and no flames for the pairing at the end, I'm warning you.</TITLE>
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<H4>AN: Yaoi... in one of MY stories... I must be going crazy *smirks evilly and laughs as she thinks about what readers are in store for.* ?Have I actually decided to stray from the HY/RP pairing for 1+2???? ?You'll have to read to find out... and no flames for the pairing at the end, I'm warning you.</H4>

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing or the song "Outlaw Blues" by Pat Benetar. I altered the words a little bit to make more sense, but there aren't that many differences. ?It just fits Heero so well.

??? "... and therefore, through the retaliatory proceedings and manipulations of a child by society's hands, revolution has once again been contingent to unity and/or peace within the existence of the Earth and her offspring, the colonies. ?Hopefully, my fellow delegates, we can learn from this crucial mistake that influencing future generations of war's expedient resolution to harmony will only cause further dissention down the road. ?In conclusion, as shown to us throughout history's repetitive flaws, rebellion and his sister in coercion, sedition, have no positive results on the search for true peace. ?Thank you," I said in closure to my address with the delegates of the Earth Sphere United Nations, bowing my head in anticipation for their endorsement or controversy to my ideals of how to achieve a feeling of peace throughout space, rather than the surrogate constancy evident the few months before.

??? A sigh escaped from my lips as the hall remained silent--I think no one else in the chamber breathing except for myself by the absence of vitality amongst the faces of the representatives--, and rubbed my temples in defeat, my thoughts really not focused on whether exactly they accepted my proposals or not, but more or less on the boy that fell into my arms as he tried to extricate the little girl from being a puppet in the hands of adults to play on her puerility.

??? I clutched the edge of the podium, just wondering if he would support what I have just voiced as my opinion of the affiliation between war and peace, and tremble in despair--my head falling even deeper upon my breast as the sensation came upon me--as the thunder and carousal of applause reverberated along the room's hollow walls--just echoing its satisfaction to me by the thousands of indistinguishable voices, each toss and the resonation from a person's hand onto his other indicating how pleased he was with the suggestion.

??? Not many tears, but one slid down my cheek as I realized I would have to bear my former responsibilities once more that humanity may vanquish from his desires the thirst to massacre and kill without a basis for it. ?I was a slave to my race, and I was a servant to the morals that surface from within my heart that they may be spouted from my lips in an eloquent discourse for all pitiless ears to hear and comprehend. ?

??? On that final note, I exited the conference, making no effort to hide the fact that I was leaving--for I was heading straight for the main doors--, and trudged down the staircase into the tempest that evoked its wrath upon my sorrowed brow. ? ? ?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ?

????

??? I walked down the now barren sidewalk, for it was late in the eve--about 11:30 perhaps--, and people were still hesitant to overcome and convince themselves of the abolishment of the earlier threat from the Barton Foundation. ?No one was out in the rain taking his dog for a walk or to just play in the park across the way; and I could hear no little children squealing with delight as they splashed in the tempting (to a toddler, anyway) puddles--causing their mother's to sigh at the mess they would have to clean up when they got home. ?It was desolate, I seeming the only soul to be basking within her own mourning by feeling the trace of the crystal shed by the cumulus, angry and full of the wounds that our kind has plagued upon their homeland--the earth. ?

??? As I rounded the corner, my hotel in plain site, I saw the rough sketch of a shadow, distant and yet to my sentiment and reminiscence, familiar in its impression. I stepped toward the figure--now curious as to see if my intuition failed me--, and as I looked upon the man with an apprehension inconspicuous to my gestures but betrayed by the sparkle that cast my eyes in a rare obscenity, my breath caught within my throat--I choking on the essence as I looked up to see Heero Yuy towering over me.

??? "Heero," I whispered to him as a gentle prayer parting from my soul, "I didn't think you would be released from the hospital so soon."

??? He kept his eyes focused on my own, making sure to capture them within his hypnotism that shed upon my wonder a sense of mystery to be left unresolved, and replied brusquely, "I wasn't. ?I released myself."

??? "Oh... Oh I see," I murmured against the call of the rain, which created a tiara of diamonds encased within tears to crown my tresses. ?"I... I didn't think you would come to me," I continued--my voice quivering as the words left from my thoughts--and trying to pry my irises away from his stare that I may contemplate openly.

??? He raised his hand above his shoulder, and my eyes widened in disbelief, an unfathomable reaction of fear washing over me as I saw his gesture. ?He had threatened to kill me, he shunned me, even embarrassed me in front of my so-called "friends," but never before since I'd known him had he ever laid a hand on me in aggression. ?I cowered back as I saw him waiting for the appropriate moment to strike me, and I think I whimpered a bit as well as I realized how much hatred he must have built up toward me to want to physically abuse me without putting a direct end to the pain in an instant rebuttal to my scream.

??? I closed my eyes, not tightly, but enough as so I wouldn't have to see him actually perform the deed, and waited for the inevitable to commence--accepting my fate by his hands with a calm and serenity within myself, just wanting his torment to be put to rest by this act of emotional trauma of my infliction.

??? I expected to feel a harsh stinging upon my flesh, perhaps even knocked the ground by his brute force, but instead of feeling such pain, I felt his hand, calloused and disjointed from battles long-fought, softly caressing my cheek--he just looking at me with his eyes relaying an admiration for the person in front them... me.

??? As I brought my hand up to push his away--I too startled to think clearly about his action--, he grasped it with his other palm, still looking at me with that sense of warmth and bewilderment in my presence and asked, "How... how can you do this to me?" ?He whispered it with enough discretion that I thought I merely imagined his lips mouthing these words, a sweet nothing that my ears would never hear. ? ?

?

??? "Do what?" I countered him, playing dumb that perhaps I could get some confirmation of the tangible nature to earlier hopes and suspicions about his heart. ?

??? His answer still puzzles me, for he didn't combat my question with a sensible reply. Instead, he simply recited for me a verse he had learned from long ago--more than likely embedded within his soul, like a prayer that his existence could hang onto as a righteous precept. ?

??? "You were better than the best, stayed a notch above the rest. ?It was raining in heaven when you had drowned. ?Your father cried, said he'd told you so, but you touched the devil and couldn't let go... no one controls the outlaw." ?

??? I could hear the rhythm of the enchanting melody as he even dared to speak it, and my thoughts fell to the haunting bolero that he cantered for my spirit to dread and apparition quake in derision toward his own sake.

??? "You wrote the book with the sequel in mind, an angel face with a criminal side. ?Celebrated as the rebel kind... the outlaw."

??? His voice deepened and breath became ragged as he said the words "rebel" and "outlaw," drawing me even further into his tundra of memorials that I may see the hidden reprobate within himself. ?

??? "I wonder if you knew she would, turn your bad deeds into good. ?She'll paint you as a modern Robin Hood. ?It's high noon everywhere you go, and the guilt you feel is the weary soul... of the outlaw."

??? My legs gave out from beneath me as he choked upon the last stanza, for his remorse and the lost souls of those who died by his hand in battle would someday catch up with him... unless he could keep running. ?But who can run forever? ?

??? He caught me before I hit the ground, and taking me into his arms, he carried me the rest of the distance to the hotel--still relaying the poem as we embarked. ?

??? "Hearts weren't made to be ruled, and rules weren't made to be broken. ?It's cold and lonely at the end of your life, and nobody sleeps 'til they turn out the lights... for the outlaw," he whispered as he set me upon the sheets, bringing the comforter to rest under my chin and stroking my tendrils as he went on. ?"Where're you gonna go, where're you gonna hide... it's cold and lonely for the outlaw."

??? He began to retreat from my bedside and toward the balcony doors, readying himself for a quick escape when he finished his tale of sorrow for my mind to ponder within my dreams of miraculous fantasy and woe, and I jolted from my recline, asking him... pleading to him, "When will you be back? ?How will I find you?"

??? He didn't say anything in reply, only speaking the last phrases of the piece, "Where're you gonna go, where're you gonna hide... as the outlaw," then jumped from the balcony without so much as another word.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? I waited for him to return... I waited day after day, night after night for him to come back and caress my flushing cheek as he did that very night, but standing upon the balcony clothed in my gown of virgin purity in blush, I finally realized my hope of him standing soon by my side was nothing more than an illusion, a false hope by the candle's flame--flickering, soon to be extinguished from its shimmer by the gossip of the winds.

??? A little over a week after the alleged confrontation, I deserted my post at the balcony and sat upon my bed, just thinking about the former evening and its relevance to my love and extreme devotion for the pilot, holding Chocolate Soldier within my embrace--hoping that he could give me the affection I so yearned for from the boy that had left me in cold semblance in defiance to destiny's maternal hand. ?

??? He's only showed passion towards my heart of intimacy and relinquished desires twice in the whole time I've known him--once on the Libra and the other a few nights ago--, but every other encounter we've had has been brief, thrown together by the paths chosen for us by our missions or prestige rather than by our own judgment, and rushed because of the friction we diverge with in our own virtue... never driven by lust.

??? Can there truly be a love based on an ideal, an intention rather than by the works one does on behalf of those principles? ?If one is stoked by some sort of motivation or objective, then his actions would certainly depict that fidelity of want in dire, for otherwise, it must not be imperatively sufficient in his own heart to pursue the matter with any time other than which he can spare. ?

??? Do I want to be second place in his rankings, or will I settle for none other than victory within the gaze of my beloved's rapture, even perhaps at the risk of losing his faith and emotion in me for the rest of my mortality? ?But even more, how can I be considered his "beloved" if I am only second place? ?No... no I will not stand being excluded from his internal welfare because of an obligation he feels or some long-ago harassment that continues to plague his soul. ?When a man accepts your love, he accepts you as the main focus in his life, and visa-versa for a woman responsible for the heart of her mate. ?I am willing to put my past and its remembrances behind me... and he should be able to do the same, or we were not meant to be.

??? I hug the teddy bear even more deeply into my bosom, and look down to peer into his eyes, hoping their reflection will enable to me decide upon letting go or hanging on by the tips of my fingers to an almost doomed attraction from the beginning. ?

??? The moon's radiance glistens as her tresses fall upon my tears that flow unto the plush curls of my silent companion in regret, and in its glow, the silken beams of her luminescence transform his fur into strands of golden resplendence dazed by the weaker scintillation of her children, the stars. ?From the blackened marble that shapes his eyes, I see the silver lake shimmer upon his muzzle--the lament he has pressed unto my spirit, his tears in the grief he knows I shall feel at the brink of my verdict. ?

??? Setting him back upon the pillows and leaving the room for a moment, only to return with a small box and some red ribbon--the same hue as the one which strangles the poor animal's neck--, I brought the bear back into my lap and whispered, my voice breaking as I spoke, "It's done then, and I shall feel no remorse for my decision," then left for Heero's apartment--delivering him a gift I was sure he would retain and keep by his fevered brow every night of his forsaken being.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? I hesitated as I came upon Heero's residence to knock on the door, something within myself still pleading by way of my resolve to turn back and forget my earlier conclusion, just to let Heero's behavior go unnoticed by my heart and lead life as if he had never come to me--I forever waiting on the tenuous strand of gossamer that is our chain of restraint. ?Still, if I didn't take this first step to assert my liberation from his hold on my requests, I would probably never do so; and a life of frailty by the utterance of a solemn pledge to another or concealed vow in an fondness distant from my own sentiments is passive existence that I refuse to be put through. ?I am a human being, of flesh and blood with compassion in my depths, and I therefore deserve the same deference as any other who walks down life's trail in solitude. ?I will not be the fabled "lady in waiting" anymore... I will sever the bonds, which his specter has claimed upon my own, and I shall do it this very day. ?

??? Raising my chin that my eyes met the letter and number sequence on the door, I puffed out my chest in a dominant pride and rapped on the entrance with all of the constrained intensity I had been holding back this past one and half years, and holding the box firmly under my left arm, I patiently awaited for the denizen to accept my call... but he never came. ?

??? I tried knocking again, thinking he was perhaps preoccupied the first time, and continued to stand there waiting for him to answer... still he did not budge the door.

??? By this time my courage was faltering, and any resolution with my emotions that I had come to as of that moment were lost in my dread that he was not at home... perhaps on another mission facing his deathbed. ?Those waters that I kept from flowing by my dams of obduracy and an intrapersonal dignity--so carefully laid over the duration of our meeting and especially fortified last night--came rushing from their barriers with an untamable hunger--needing to be released upon the tender skin of my cheek to eat passed the sinew and straight into the core meat, the heart. ?

??? My legs trembled by their own choice--my mind willing them to settle but their own contractions taking heed of their shudders--, and without thinking, I set the box in front of the door and ran as far from the complex as my buckling knees would carry me with a heavy burden of guilt to encumber my body's initial weight besides.

??? No... no I couldn't go back, I could never see him again; for if I saw his face so full of sorrow in his own torment I will take him back into my love... something he neither deserves nor wants.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ?

??? Once I found my way back to the hotel, I sat in the living area of the suite--all light and jovial reminder barricaded away by my despair. ?I had turned the shades in that the sun's cloak that brought with it the kiss of breath and rebirth of spring's vivacity would be shut away from my eyes already chapped and bleeding from the streams of moisture that streaked the immaculacy, wanting nothing more than to brood in my somber conditions, and just sulked with my lonesome in the darkness of the room--only heightening the deception I felt. ?

??? I'm not sure exactly how long I sat there, just letting the tears fall from the anguish produced by my irreconcilable heart, but not long after I arrived, there would be another who wished to join me in her own legend of crushed dreams and misery... Hilde.

??? She bolted through the door in tears--they staining her pale complexion as the vitriolic springs that tasted bitter upon each our lips in the same design as my own petitions--, and after escorting her from the doorway and into my chair--the before mentioned region of my agony--, I was finally able to get her to explain her crisis to me. ?

??? "Oh Relena, after all we've done for each other, after all the sweet-talk and promises he made to me, I just can't believe that my Duo would be having an affair," she wailed between her incessant sobs, wiping her eyes with the tissue I had given her moments before. ?"I mean, he said he LOVED me for God sakes, and now he's found another person to warm his bed at night!"

??? "Hilde, it'll be okay. ?If he did something that cruel and under-handed to you, than that bastard doesn't deserve you at all," I whispered to her as I stroked her shoulder, trying to reassure her of the positive sides of the happening rather than the immediate sorrow, which was only prevalent.

??? "But, it's not just that he DID it, but WHO he's doing it with!" she pointed out to me, rage more evident in her tone than the pain she had relayed.

??? "Well, who is he cheating on you with?"

??? "Heero!" she blurted out, then plunging her face back into the tissue and letting the tears continue their dance along her skin. ?

??? "Heero?" I questioned, dumbfounded by her reply--still trying to swallow the fact. ?

??? "Yeah, 'cause when I came home from grocery shopping, I saw Heero on the couch with Duo, and they were... they were..." she couldn't finish without going into hysterics.

??? I sat there without saying a word, letting my mind drift off into thoughts that held less throbbing for my chest--Hilde's crying a requiem that echoed the destruction of my soul as my ration digested the news, offering what little solace it could for my ache--, and nodding my head back and forth absently, I whispered into the cooling breeze, "Damn you Heero... damn you..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

??? It had been over a week since I had heard of Heero's "fancy" for his fellow pilot, and the tears I might have shed for the grief he battled within his own heart matured into indignant tears of revulsion, and these feelings toward his relationship with his comrade would be put to the test on that night--whether I had truly forsaken him or substituted that hatred for a less acrimonious sentiment. ?

??? Hilde and I sat in the living quarters through silence, content with only the shallow humming of the wind as our sole companion, just passing the time by reading novels or doing whatever paperwork we needed to catch-up on. ?

??? As I was about to get up to make us some tea, I heard a knocking at the door, and being I wasn't expecting any visitors, was skeptical as to whether I should confront the person or not--I too desperate to get into some kind of heated debate with any politicians as of then. ?My curiosity getting the best of me, I'd guess, I opened the door to find the one and only Heero Yuy as the man banging on my door at 1:00 in the morning. ?

??? I sneered as he pushed his way into the room--as I tried to shut the door on him he forced it back open--and asked him sternly, "What are you doing here? ?Don't you know that some of us DECENT people like to have a little peace at this hour?" My voice was hot with rage, and even I could hear the growl in my words as they escaped me. ?

??? "I came here to see you, and what I have to tell you is too important to wait," he answered me, no emotion in his tone whatsoever as he stared me down in his passion.

??? "Well, then say it so you can get out of here and just leave me alone," I spat back, immediately regretting the venom that tainted my command as it parted from my lips--Hilde still just standing in the background, listening intently to our exchange of wits.

??? "I've kept you waiting for so long, and all this time you never pressured me to come to a decision about my feelings toward you. ?Well, I needed to say that... I love you... I love you Relena Peacecraft."

??? He stood there, his eyes betraying the anticipation he had of my rejection, and just waited for me to react to his words--completely vulnerable to my coming inveighs. ?

??? Smack! ?"You sick little player, you inconsiderate gigolo!" I screamed to him as my hand grazed his cheek. ?"How dare you just come in here like everything's normal and nothing's changed, when you're out sleeping with another man!" ?In my fury, I started backing him into a corner, taking two steps toward him as he stepped back at my ferocity, determined to give him the castigates he had coming through his manipulations of not one, but TWO hearts!

??? His eyes widened as I mentioned that he was "sleeping with another man," and held my fists at bay as I tried to ram them into his chest in a dash of blinded temper.?

??? "I hate you! ?I hate you! ?And I never want to see you again! ?I can't believe I ever loved you or felt sorry for what you've gone through, because you're nothing but a monster only driven by his gratification of pleasure!" I screeched into the gap between our bodies, mangled in the sweat and irritation of the moment.

??? With a quick flip of his wrists, he had my arms twisted behind me--I whimpering a little at the startling feat and the immediate pain it inflicted--, and pressing his lips against mine to shush my aspersions, he murmured, "What's wrong with you, Relena? ?You said that you believed in me... and what's all this about me running off with another man?"

??? As I tore my mouth away--now completely outraged at his perverse course of action by claiming my lips with his own, soiled with the flavor of another man's in heated lust--, I readied myself to answer his inquire--seeming so innocent and entirely as though he didn't know what I was talking about--when I heard Duo's unmistakable laughing trail across the ominous mood of the situation. ?

??? Turning our heads at the blare of the chuckles, we saw Duo--who somehow managed to slip into the room unnoticed--standing in the hallway with Hilde, and he was holding his stomach to keep himself from doubling over through his laughter. Hilde too had a wide smile on her face, covering her smirk with the back of her hand so that she could keep herself under control as well.

??? Feeling the frustration within my veins rise to its boiling point, I threw Heero's arms off of me, stalked over to the entertained couple, and asked--bent on my last nerve--, "What the heck do you think is so funny about this situation... especially you, you gay freak!" turning to Duo.

??? "Aw Geeze Lena, that's not a very nice thing to say," he replied, throwing his hands up into the air and pouting as if he was offended by my comment. ?"I thought you were supposed to be a lady... that won't impress Heero very much."

??? "Won't impress Heer... what are you talking about?" I questioned in astonishment, wondering why he would be giving me advice on how to win Heero's affection when HE was his lover now.

??? "Yeah Relena, you should take lessons from Duo and me when it comes to love," Hilde chimed in, nuzzling into to Duo's chest as she spoke--Duo in turn rubbing his face into her hair in a playful manner. ?

??? "But... but I thought that Duo and Heero were..." I gasped, not understanding why the two were back together all of a sudden at the drop of a hat. ?

??? "I thought I told you to mind your own business, Duo... and not to follow me here," Heero growled between his clenched teeth, steadying his anger.

??? "Just what in the heck is going on here?" I screamed amidst the chorus of voices, just needing one simple, straight answer. ?

??? "I told you, Relena. ?I came here to tell you that I loved you," Heero said as exasperated as her could get, staring at my face, which had a look of utter disgust and confusion from before. ?

??? "Okay, if that's true, then what are they doing here?" I asked him, pointing over to Duo and Hilde.

??? "I can answer that," Hilde spoke up. ?"You see, Relena, Heero came over to our place after he visited you that night. ?He seemed so lost, just trying to figure things out, ya know, so we offered to give him a place to stay until he got his bearings again."

??? "Well, at the rate he was headin', you two would have never gotten together," Duo interrupted, taking over the narration of the story. ?"So, Hilde and I tried to speed things along by making up this little fib so you guys would come to terms with everything pretty quickly... find out how you guys REALLY felt. ?And, it seemed like the perfect joke to pull on you guys... we couldn't resist," he managed to choke out before falling on the floor in tears from laughing so hard. ?

??? "So, you really weren't sleeping with Duo?" I asked Heero, my eyes watering with joy as he stroked his fingers along my dampened lashes, allowing my heart to flutter and constrict in its own parade of bliss. ?

??? "No."

??? "No way Lena, that would just be too weird. ?I mean, Heero's a great guy and all, but not THAT great. ?Besides," Duo chuckled, getting an evil twinkle in his eyes, "Hilde has nicer legs than you, Heero... no offense."

??? But we weren't listening to anything he said, for my beloved and I were dancing by our own serenade as our lips melded into one flesh, mating by the moon's glow as we would for years to come.

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AN: Oh my gosh... a happy ending... what's wrong with me ?!?!?!?!?!? ?Come on, did you really think that I would have Heero with Duo... you guys should know me better than that right now. ?I hope you liked this, and God bless! Oh yeah! I didn't mean to make Relena come off as "homophobic" in this. I mean, the man she loved she just "found out" was "gay," and then comes in kissing her, telling her that he loves her... after he's all ready had relations with this man. I would be pretty disgusted too. Sorry about that. Relena was just being emotional. ? ?

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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Tomorrow on 2002-07-26 23:18 ]</font>

Misato · Post by **Misato** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 10:59 am

Whoa, whoa, WHOA. For a moment there you had me fooled XD Though I would have liked Relena to be more tolerant of other relationships, I guess I would be angry if my love turned out to be gay...

Rose of Betrayal · Post by **Rose of Betrayal** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 11:29 am

Hey... That was so confusing! Why? Why did you need to confuse us? But I am very happy

because Heero didn't turn out to be gay... No 1x2, mind you!

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/R/Ruri-chan/ ... _Ahope.JPG" border="0" alt="You represent... hope."><br>You represent... hope.

krzkid · Post by **krzkid** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 4:21 pm

wow...so great...especially the inner thoughts...powerful!!!:)

bookworm · Post by **bookworm** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:55 pm

Ooohh, bad Hilde/Duo. Bad. Playing THAT trick on my fave couple. Bad. Tsk, tsk, I say. Tsk, tsk.

(Tomorrow, that is definitely a great jest.

)

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