Goshinboku part two

[Astrael]

I look at this and think, omg, what was I thinking? But I also think, hey, this is good... I don't own InuYasha. (No, that isn't good, the story is though!)


She was informed of a familiar presence that she and the Goshinboku were no longer alone. He had come. But the leaves, the ground, her heart, they chided. Was it for you? Or for him? She trembled at the very thoughts they had flooded her fragile mind with now. Thoughts of betrayal, anguish, hurt, denial... But worst of all: Her. With him. Not her, but his her. The one he now protected.
"I didn't know you could sing." So simple, the phrase. The words -- all six of them.She smiled placidly, hoping that he would be appeased and leave her to her haven. But to no avail.
"Who... Who were you sing... singing to?" She smiled again.
"Goshinboku. The wind. The stars if they could hear." Now wasn't that a riddle?
"Who was it about?" He asked, almost unheard, but still loud enough for her.
"You. Me. And Her I suppose..." She paused. "No, just you." She cocked her head to the side.
"Why are you here?" He let his gaze falter and dropped it to the ground.
"To see you." She nodded. But inside that all to familiar ache began to grow.
"What was it about me you came to see?" He sighed, shifting feet nervously.
"I had to see...To tell...you..." His voice broke. He stopped, staring into her eyes. There he goes again, looking into that treacherous territory he defiled. She found herself unable to break the awful gaze.
"To tell me what?" She urged. "If you came, you must need to tell me." He sat next to her, back to the Goshinboku.
"I had to tell you...What you probably already know." She sighed and nodded.
"Yes. So true. I thought that that night at the grove... That it was just a dream. Beacause I thought that I heard you say..." SHe swallowed her sob. He looked into the Goshinboku's branches.
"You can't see the stars under here." He got to his feet.
"Come. I'll show them to you." She slowly shook her head, gesturing in a sad way that she would not follow.
"How could something so pure want to look down on something so broken? Would it not hurt them to see one so cracked and riddled with patches come into their heavenly light?" One of them trailed down her face again, forging a new path amongst the old, dried rivers.
"How can one so pure be so broken?" He asked her.
"When you looked into me that night... Something in me shattered. I don't think that I'll ever be whole again." More of them. Why was she telling him this?
"I...I don't know." He couldn't bring himself to touch her. To comfort her. She looked at him with eyes brimming with tears.
"Can you hear it?" She closed those mournfull eyes to tilt her head back into the Goshinboku's bark. He closed his own eyes and listened. He heard it. The faint beating of the Goshinboku's heart. The thrumming chord that filled his mind with images of sad times... Things he wanted to forget.
"Yes. The Goshinboku. Its heart is mourning." She sighed.
"Yes. Goshinboku mourns for a broken doll." She opened her eyes again, to see him standing there, head tilted back, eyes closed. They fell in greater numbers now. She smiled sadly at him. He felt her eyes upon him and opened his eyes to gaze into hers.
"I see it now. What I broke." She nodded.
"Can it be fixed?" She shooke her head slowly, oh so slowly.
"What can I do to..." The wind blew through the still summer night. He listened to it, feeling it blow through his very core.
"Can you help me? No, I don't think anyone can now." She stood quietly. The wind lifted her hair again. Ebony, to match the night around her. She walked to him, putting a hand through his silky mane.
"Nothing..." He breathed.
"You can do me a favor though. You can kiss me. Just once, so I'll know what I'm missing." He hesitated before bowing to her wishes. His lips met hers for moments only. They pressed together silently, softly.
"An angels kiss, undoubtably." She breathed.
"No, that was the devil. The one who broke you." She smiled, sadly though.
"Maybe so, but you'll always be mine in my dreams. My demon, my breaker." She looked out into the darkness surrounding Goshinboku.
"I'll be eighteen in a few minutes. Would you... Would you like to wait with me?" He nodded and they sat. The quiet buzz of the present flooded his senses, making him reel in the sensation. Somewhere far off a bell tolled.
"There it is. I'm eighteen." She stared into the darkness again.
"It's funny. Most birthdays, I get asked if I feel any different. Most of the time I say no. But this time... This time." He nodded.
"Will we be seeing you?" She slowly tore her gaze from the outside world to look to him.
"I don't know." He watched her.
"I can't help but feel lost. I want to badly to leave. To go. But I feel as though I should stay." She sighed.
"Where would you go?" He asked quietly.
"To a place found only in dreams. Where I can eat strawberries and cream all day, and drink in the stars at night. Where the wind is happy, and Goshinboku no longer mourns its broken doll." She said softly.
"Do you think the others would mind if left them to go there?" He nodded.
"Yes I think that they'd be sad for losing a dear friend." She smiled.
"Sometimes you know just what to say." He smiled at her too, drinking in the happy look upon her face.
"Would you miss me?" She asked quietly.
"Yes, I would." She looked deep into her eyes.
"Would you be happier with me there?" She asked.
"Which there? Your there, or my there?" He questioned.
"Yes. Either. Both. Neither, Any." He sighed.
"I'll be happy when you feel you are." She frowned.
"That's not what I meant." He looked at her.
"There is no right answer. If I say I'd be happier with you in my there, then you'd be sad all the time. But if I lied and said that I'd be happier with you in your there, neither of us would be happy." She sighed and looked away.
"I don't think I can go between these two places." He nodded.
"I know." They both sighed.
"I want you to be happy. I want to be happy knowing that you are." He gazed ahead, unable to speak for a minute.
"But I can't just lie and pretend to be happy. It would hurt us both." She nodded.
"Why don't you come with me to my there, where we can both be happy." He looked at her.
"Isn't that what she said?" She looked away.
"Yes. I'm sorry." He held out a hand to turn her head to face him.
"I promised to protect her from him." She let them fall again. Goshinboku's beat grew louder.
"I know. You love her. And she, you. But I can't..." She sniffled.
"I can't, because there isn't room for two to love." He held her close.
"I know. Can we agree on something then?" She sniffled before looking into his eyes.
"What?" He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears, to comfort her.
"If you stay here, then we could decide later." He knew she wouldn't fall for it, but he knew also that he had to try.
"You know I can't." He nodded, but remained silent. The wind pulsed through the world they created beneath the Goshinboku's sheltering arms. They stayed in the warm, circling arms of the comforting embrace of (the) night. He spoke as the horizon started to lighten.
"Can you stay with me today? Just today. Let me love you... Then you can leave. I still hold my promise to her... And my affections. But let me hold you today, then we can say our goodnights." She nuzzled into the warmth of him in the slight chill of the morning air.
"I think I can live with that." He held her closer.
"If you can live with that, will it help you to mend your shattered being?" She thought for a moment.
"Maybe. It might hurt more tomorrow though. And if it does, can you help me to my there? My dream world?" She sighed as the thrumming of Goshinboku rose a bit.

"If it will make you happy, I'll be there to help you find your dreams."






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Okay, so when I finished this the first time, I was like, "Wow, it sounds more like InuYasha raped her more than broke her heart." But what it started out as was more of a "Kagome is depressed because she understands that Yash loves Kikyo, but likes her too. That he can't love her simply because it isn't possible for his heart to stretch that far. She appreciates that he feels this way, but that doesn't change the way she feels deep inside." She wants to 'go away', but what that really means is to die. She wants to go to her dream world, her heaven as it were. There, thats as far into my head/story as we're gonna get today.

[Little Green Miko]

....o.o;; so he ends it with a one night stand type-thing? What now? does she kill herself? x.x

[Astrael]

The way I had planned it was more of the platonic, "I'll help you get yourself together, and you help me by staying alive." He loves her, but he loved Kikyo first. He can't truly give his heart to Kagome because she wasn't the first. I don't know if I can explain it really, but it is more of a protection in the end. To keep her from "leaving" them, he agrees to hold her closer to his heart. GAH! I don't know anymore...!

[Little Green Miko]

lol. Stop trying to explain before you hurt yourself thinking to hard. ;D I think I get it. lol.
Though sadly, I don't think he'd do that...at all. But, w/e. ^^ Good ficcy.

[black_nemesis_queen]

Love the story line. This will be really good. Some when can I expect to see ch3?

PS this is perfect oppertunity for Fluffy and Kagome to get to know each other better.