Miaka: Tell us a story we don't know. You spent a year on that one...
Jen: *blushing* I know. But it got done... and it's getting there! :razz:
Everyone: Finally.
So, the next chapter a little later than I'd hope due to my inability to make myself write. -_-;; I'm looking forward to getting on with the fic and moving past parts that make me want to rewrite them 10 times. ^_^;; Thanks again everyone! :0)
Also noting... some limeish content herein... just to warn!!
***
The church that the Christmas eve services were held at was large, to make an understatement. It was not as high in social order as it could have been but it was plenty high above Heero?s own figured status. It was almost gothic in style, with huge vaulted roofs and dark somber wood, lightened with Christmas colors of poinsettias, holly, and wreaths. Relena held one elbow, Lauren holding his opposite hand as they entered. The finery of the people around them was comparable to their own, so in that manner he felt fine. There were curious stares sent in their direction as they entered, however. He knew they recognized Relena, and possibly a number of them recognized him from the wars or his Preventer work, but the two of them together, and with a child, must have raised certain discreet questions. He wondered briefly if those who didn?t recognize them saw them as a family, and shifted uncomfortably away from the thought. It might be in a corner of the society pages in the next week, but he wasn?t concerned. Attending together didn?t have to hold any deeper connotations. They didn?t know she was staying at his house after all.
Relena led them skillfully to where they were to be seated, and he was pleasantly not uncomfortable taking a place among the high society people. Lauren had all the world to do with this, as she was wowed by the huge church, and awed at the people. The candles awed her, and made him watchful, and she sang all the songs with gusto. She and Relena, it seemed, knew all the words, while he stood rather silent and trying not to look out of place. Relena seemed to sense this and moved closer to him, slipping her arm through his to comfort him. When all was done with he had to admit he felt relief. The service hadn?t bothered him overly much, but there were no complaints that it was over.
Relena once again led them out, procuring the promised goodies for Lauren, working her way through the crowds with a word here and there and a smile, and suddenly they were out, free. He wished absently that it had been a true party, with dancing, and that he could have swept her onto a dance floor in all her finery.
The last thing she had wanted to do was make him uncomfortable by being there. She knew, of course, that he had not attended for her sake, but rather for Lauren?s. And she was entirely fine with that, better than fine in fact. To feel jealousy towards the child in this case would be absurd. He had gamely participated, watching eagle eyed as Lauren held her lighted candle, and paying polite attention to the rest of the program. He hadn?t been rude or otherwise obviously displeased, and she had not expected it. She had heard the horror tales of him setting his own broken leg, so his powers of endurance were not subject to doubt.
"Were you ok with being there?" she asked quietly, the lights of the other cars casting streaks of light and shadows in the car but not disturbing Lauren who had drifted off in the back seat.
"It didn?t bother me that much," he said easily.
"I didn?t really think..." she began somewhat apologetically.
"It?s all right. Everyone has a right to their beliefs, and if that?s what they believe in then that?s their perogative."
"But you don?t like what they do?"
"It?s a sham. They come together to commemorate the birth of a man on the eve of the birthday of a god they call pagan, and give gifts the next day in honor of the first while forgetting the second. There?s no point in it."
She pondered that a second. "They want to take something pagan and turn it into something good, I suppose. It?s tradition."
"Exactly, it?s tradition. I could have planted flowers on my gundam instead of destroying it, but it wouldn?t have meant it was any different than what it was. It?s just covering up something else."
"Does that mean you don?t believe in Christmas? What about the tree? Presents?"
"Christmas is fine if taken at face value for what it is: a time to get together and share with the people you?re close to. Santa Claus is a contrived notion, and I?d rather Lauren know that the gifts she gets are from people who know her and like her. It?s not going to change what I get her because I love her always, not just if she?s been good or bad. Trees are another tradition, and they?re what the company there would have once called pagan as well. But tradition wipes all that away and they neutralize it with angels and things. Presents are a fine line. People like to receive things and there gets to be greed and fights over who got the most expensive, or the most number. It?s a good learning process that a gift comes from the heart no matter how many or how much. I won?t deny her that. It?s fine if they want to remember their god, but I wish they?d admit the fact it?s not really a day that?s important. It?s not as if they couldn?t do the same thing on any other day. She can believe or not believe in whatever god she chooses, I won?t tell her no."
"You?ve done your homework." Relena was impressed. "You won?t say no... if she wanted to move away and shave her head and..."
"We?d talk," he said, lips tweaking with the determination of his words. "Very seriously."
***
Relena let her head fall back in appreciation of the warmth that the apartment afforded. Lauren was all but bouncing before she got in the car to come home, but after her nap on the ride home, her eyes were still drooping.
"Let?s go change," Relena suggested, "so we can go to bed and Christmas will come faster."
The girl put up surprisingly little fuss, with Relena set to follow her so they could both change, and then exchange positions with Heero so he could tell Lauren goodnight.
Heero caught Relena?s arm before she was able to follow.
"There are still... things for Lauren to be set up. I was wondering if I could enlist your help again."
"A little earlier this time, huh?"
He merely tilted his head in answer.
She smiled, "I?d be glad to. I should be there soon."
Soon, it seemed, was sooner than he imagined when he had told Lauren goodnight. If he had been prone to it, he might have thought of blushing, but you wouldn?t have heard it from him. It was not self-consciousness, but the appearance of impropriety that worried him. When he had dashed off to shower he had not expected her to beat him to his room. It made him very glad that he was of the habit of dressing before he returned to his room. The Relena who stared up at him in a state of surprise seemed to think so too. He let the towel he had draped over his head fall around his shoulders.
"I came too early," she said, somewhat apologetically.
"Don?t worry about it," he said, shrugging, causing his half buttoned shirt to gape before he hastily shoved buttons into holes.
Relena?s mind was not telling her she had been too early. She was fighting dearly with herself to use some of that diplomatic training and stay calm. His hair was soggily wet, falling like it was tickling his nose, certainly it was tickling his collar.
As if noting her gaze his fingers slid into his hair, and he mumbled what sounded vaguely like "It needs a trim." She smiled, not out of agreement, since the more hair he had the more there was to run her fingers through, but because most people who saw him were of the impression that he needed a trim, possibly several.
She had seen him in suits, uniforms, and all manners of non-formal clothing. Yet, as with each and every time she saw him in a different way, she was certain he had never looked so attractive: this time with wet hair and bare feet. He pulled out the rest of the boxes and dropped next to her on the floor. The wave of wet skin and soap smell about wiped her out her right there. He had already handed her the directions and she held it with numb hands. It was so very difficult to keep her mind on the parts in front of her.
The Preventers, out of deep respect for Heero, and an initial donation and hint from the ever subtle Quatre, had pitched in to give Lauren a true mansion for her dolls. It would occupy an entire corner of her room when completed. The parts were laid out, the main parts assembled, only in need of slotting together, and the furniture to be placed inside. It was sturdy, and very well built; its patron had seen to that.
Heero wanted it set out at the last possible moment, however, in case a pair of wandering eyes should come peeking out during the night. Goodness only knew the amount of delighted whooping would wake the house from blissful slumber, unless the sneaky kid giggled behind her hand before acting all surprised in the morning. He wanted none of that. Genuine, all encompassing surprise, a surprise that would light up her face like the angel she so loved on top of the Christmas tree.
They worked quickly, nearly silent, each lost in their own thoughts, preoccupied by the other?s presence, and all too aware of the attraction and feelings that were festering with their proximity. Their fingers brushed and the shock she felt that even yet echoed through her system made her want to grab his hand and feel it again.
"Will you be all right setting everything out by yourself?" she asked as they draped cloths, an extra measure of security, over the house.
"Since the spots are all laid out it should be fine. It?ll be too risky for me to get you to come and help."
She chuckled. "I wouldn?t be exactly conscious to help anyway."
"The day after tomorrow you?ll be able go to bed and sleep in as long as you like." There was little, if any, bitterness in his statement. "I don?t know that I?ve ever really thanked you for doing this. It means so much to her to have you here."
This time she did take his hand, finding the initial thrill, but after it coming a warm glow that was unlike any she had experienced before.
"It means more than you can imagine to me to be here. I?m just glad I had the privilege." She paused, continuing softly. "Thank you for going with me tonight."
"She had fun," he said simply.
Her fingers tightened on his, trying to think of the right way to ask what she needed to.
"I?m so glad she had fun, that she had the courage to ask me to come. But Heero... what about you?"
He lifted an eyebrow at her.
"You think I?d let her steamroll me into something I didn?t want?"
"She does occasionally."
"Nothing on this level."
It took more awkward shifting than he imagined to pull her comfortably onto his lap. She followed his tugging obediently, eyes wide as he stared at her so thoughtfully. His lips found her neck seconds later, and her head tilted of its own volition to give him the best access possible to her sensitive skin. He had the ability to set her on fire with practically a touch, and in the next second fill her with a glow that was far from sexual, but firmly entrenched in the love so carefully housed within her. She realized suddenly that she had been a passive participant for the most part. He had been the initiating force every time, and it was a source of amusement for her to think of herself initiating a kiss, but again it wasn?t. She wanted this as much as he did, and certainly she hadn?t gone around kissing the man when he had shown no sign of interest, but this was entirely different. He was all but sinking his teeth into her neck, lapping at her like a cat with a bowl of milk, and making her pondering seem like wandering through shoppers at a clearance isle... frustrating but productive.
He seemed to notice her retreat, pulling back to stare at her questioningly. His lips were wet, eyes dark, and she felt a thrill of need that she had never been privileged to before.
"What?s wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing?s wrong. I just... You had never kissed me before yesterday, Heero. And the only time I ever hugged you, truly, was when you were unconscious, dancing not included. I just wanted to..."
He looked as if he were about to retreat, as if her words were telling him that this wasn?t what she wanted. That was in fact the opposite of what she was trying to say. Biting her lip once, she knew it was her turn to act. It wasn?t quite as sure as he had been, but it became so in seconds as she snagged an arm around his neck to move closer.
"Nothing?s wrong," she murmured again against his lips. She kissed him again, nuzzling the side of his mouth. His lips curved as their noses brushed. "I guess it?s just that this was the last thing I expected when I agreed to come."
"How bad is that?" Heero asked seriously, his eyes sober and steady on hers. She wanted to kiss away his doubt. It was a good idea in theory, but seeing as she was literally hanging off of his neck it was near to impossible to get the upper hand. As she tried moving up, he was forced down, trying to accommodate her movements. After a few seconds of this it occurred to her that her solution was there. She moved up, he moved down: compromise. She opened herself to his questing mouth, fighting back, initiating the give and take. She was so concentrated, so deep within the sensations that she barely noticed that she was being lifted and laid back on a surface much softer than the floor.
"That bad is it?" he whispered into her ear, making her shiver in delight.
"Oh yeah," she whispered back, her hand snaking into the hair that had dried over his forehead. There was one lock of hair that had dried in an almost perfect ringlet and it amused her. "This is cute," she said with a little laugh.
"That?s why I brush it out."
"You?d drive all the women wilder if you didn?t."
"I don?t care about them."
Her eyes widened, gasping as he nipped her earlobe. If he didn?t care about them... did that mean that he cared about her?
"You know... I?ve never been in a man?s bed before."
He half smiled a crooked smile at her, his fingers stealing beneath her shirt.
"If it makes you feel better you?re not actually in it. Only on it."
"You know what I mean," she giggled against his lips.
Her skin trembled beneath his fingers even as she arched up to meet him. Her stomach was so soft, so warm. His thumb dipped into her belly button, making a firmer line around it, just short of tickling her but still her stomach shook with it.
His hands slid upward, lingering over each rib that he encountered. She was absolutely frozen in the wake of his touch. He was balanced on his knees, one of them tucked between her legs, while his mouth did things to hers that was driving her to distraction.
He felt like he could feel every rib under her skin. She was so thin, so fragile underneath of him. If his weight shifted and he moved onto her he felt like he would crush her, but still his body ached to feel her against him.
His touch was light, just short of ticklish, and it moved across her skin with inerrant grace. Her heart raced, feeling like she were falling with the sensations. Her breath came so shallowly, and he was not even kissing her. His eyes were closed, hands moving across her ribs as though he was blind and trying to see.
Some deep part of her questioned the intelligence of this. She was alone in a man?s bedroom, on his bed, with him nearly literally on top of her, and his hands against her skin. They had done nothing that could be termed extremely inappropriate as yet, but this was not for lack of want on her part. He virtually knelt between her thighs, her legs parted in innocent invitation. As his hands traveled upwards, her back arched , offering herself to him, gasping deeply as his fingers brushed the underside of her breasts.
He began to withdraw, questions plaguing him about how right this was. Seduction had not been in his plans tonight, and he knew they had not been in hers as well. But no matter what, with every sound that she made she was seducing him as well. She stopped him, startled him, before he could fully retreat.
"Do you want this Heero? Is this..." she trailed off.
"I want you," he admitted. "But I don?t know if now is right."
She looked at him with curiously sober eyes. "Do you think less of me because I let you touch me? Will you think less of me if I said I didn?t want you to stop?"
Their eyes locked, blue against blue, desire matching desire, lust for lust, and yet some deeper driving emotion was hidden. With her heart in her throat she laid her hand very lightly on his, leading him forward. They fit together, he thought somewhat awed, his hand fit so perfectly over her breast. She was smaller than many women, he knew, and larger than some, but she was real and here... she was Relena. If he had stayed with his mother as an infant it would be this flesh that had nourished him, but now it made him want in such a way that it nearly scared him. It was so natural, so basic, and so not right. She wanted this, though, he could see it in her face as she gasped and arched her back, her knees digging into this thigh while he explored and touched. She was enjoying it as much as he was. There was a connection between them that somehow negated some of his guilt, and yet... He pulled back once more.
"I feel like I... It seems to so many that you should be purer somehow."
She laughed, her mind racing to catch up from the side trip it had taken. "Politicians don?t get that distinction. They?re expected to be horrendous people whom no one can trust."
"The people trust you." His weight had shifted back to his knees, fingers still tracing her skin.
"That?s because I?ve all but divvied up my internal organs for them," she pointed out dryly.
He blinked at her.
Relena tamped down the urge to roll her eyes, and couldn?t resist her next comment. "I?m sure they?d share yours. Blood of the great ones and all."
"I?d share with you."
"It?s a comforting thought, but really only works if we?re the same blood type."
"You never know," His hands clenched. "You?re too thin."
"What?" It took a second to sink in.
"You?re thin, you feel thin."
"I eat, I assure you," she said, humor making her voice tremble. "I?m within the correct range. That?s perhaps one of the nicest things a man can tell a woman."
"Why?" He was genuinely curious, it wasn?t as if he had a large chance to study human relationships.
"Because excess weight isn?t healthy for one thing. Plus it does a body good to know that she doesn?t appear fat to the world. Or like a tree."
She had shifted as she talked, getting more comfortable, and his now still hands were all but leaping to finish what they had started.
"I didn?t mean that..." How many times could he assure her of that? "No one could accuse you of being fat."
"You either."
"We were trained to regulate our weight, and I?m where I should be for my height and body structure. The culture?s high fat cuisine make it hard to stay so."
"You?re telling me."
The hand that the had rested on his chest slid down to his stomach, feeling the muscles, and smiling at the thought of him with a bit of a belly.
"Why are we talking?" he whispered against her chin.
"Because you weren?t sure."
"What was I thinking?"
"Very sweet thoughts."
"I won?t let this go too far, Relena, but tell me if I do something wrong. I don?t know all that I should regarding..."
"It?s ok, Heero. I don?t either. We?ll... learn together."
He had merely to breath as his hands passed over her. It was certainly something he had utilized in the past, so it was ironically odd for him to gasp as he forgot entirely a function that was always described as natural.
He paused, letting the movement of her hesitant breathing carry her into his hands. She chuckled at his concentration, and he met her eyes with a grin tugging at his lips.
He was so serious, she thought in wonder. It was almost as if she were some delicate piece of electronics, demanding the utmost care and gentleness. She could have laughed then as she realized she had become so ingrained that she had just compared herself to some metal and plastic.
"That tickles?" he asked suddenly.
She blinked at him. "No," she whispered, pulling his face her hers. "Not at all."
There was no thought now, only movement and feeling, joining ache and heat. She loved this man, and the words almost left her more times that she could count. Even as he gently kissed her again, settling her shirt back where it had been, and tucking her close to him, she longed to tell him.
Her shoulders were snug to his chest with his arm holding her to him, his hand curved over the flesh of her waist. She felt right with him here, his arms fit around her so perfectly as though she belonged to him. Her trust in him was amazing to him. She was an adult, capable of telling him no, but what he knew of his strength and of her made him appreciate it more.
"You know," he said into her hair. "Not many men get a woman on his bed like this without getting her in it."
"So you?re one of the few?"
"Sure."
"How do you know that?"
"I watch tv," he qualified. "I see things."
She turned her head to get closer to him.
"What else do you watch on tv?"
"World events... baseball every so often."
"Sports." Laughter tickled her, and she twisted the rest of the way in his arms to face him, her hair falling to cover her shoulder. "You watch baseball."
His eyebrows rose as she beamed at him. He was faintly baffled at her reaction. Her lips touched his so softly, such a sweet touch, that he was burned by her amazement. The ache he had tamped down began to flare again and his arms tightened around her as he fought to control it.
"You have overcome so much," she said, and he was horrified to see tears in her eyes. "You have a job and a little girl, and you watch baseball. Sports... like most every other man. You?ve won."
He closed his eyes as she snuggled into him and began to drift off. He kissed her forehead softly.
"I know." For now.
***
Jen :0)
coley_merrin
Hi there!! Can't wait for the other chapter!! This story is really really amazing. the romance is just wonderfull!!
). I loved it. 