Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

Lauren · Post by **Lauren** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 8:11 pm

Dear Heero,

Geez, it seems I always turn to you when things get hard in my life ::sniff:: Recently, a friend of mine told me he got my a gift from the dollar store. While I'm touched that he would think of me, there's a terribly secret I've been hiding from him- I believe he got the gift for a *woman* and in actuality, I am a man. I know, I know, how could I have carried this ruse on for so long!? But more importantly, how will I deal with the awkwardness of accently a gift meant for a WOMAN?! Heero, Heero, what should I do?!

signed,
Definitely-Not-A-Girl

Heero · Post by **Heero** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 8:34 pm

Several months later, and here I am. Things have been busy at the least. I will now answer all your questions that havn't already been answered or else Relena will release the blackmail...

rei yuy: Oh, I have. And now we're living "happily ever after" well... for the most part. Living situation is less than pleaseing, but we'll be moving soon enoguh again.

silent muse: DO NOT TAKE IT FORM THE INTERNET. You might be able to get away with that in high school, but trust me... they can/WILL catch you in college. Have any smart friends?

Kaili Charmer: It has been a while. I think my favorite peom is Robert Frost's "Fire and Ice"

Miss Peeps:
Natural color is what ever it was before it died
Yes, twice
Can't say that I have
Mine had three a long time ago
Because it is void of all neutriants, and has been in a small area for an extended period of time

Lauren: Oh my... well... once you reciee it, act flattered, even though it was from the dollar store. Then give it to a less masculine man or even a woman. Play it off like it was worth a lot of money, and it was from the heart. That way you can easily earn entrance to their friendship and money.

Raspberry · Post by **Raspberry** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:24 pm

Well, you forgot about MY question "How to strenghten leg-muscles, when I don't have time for running or gym?", but I won't complain

We're all happy to have you back, Heero!

And by the way... I would want to ask one thing, if you don't mind. ^^
What should I tell people to get rid of them when they laught at me that I am short?..

I know some good lines, but they won't be enough for longer period of time :-? So?.. Any suggestions?..

Miss Peeps · Post by **Miss Peeps** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 4:42 pm

And by the way... I would want to ask one thing, if you don't mind. ^^
What should I tell people to get rid of them when they laught at me that I am short?..

erm yeah. I'd like to know as well. I'm 5'0" and stuck.

Melina · Post by **Melina** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 7:16 pm

I know how you guys feel. I'm only 5'1" But I have a few comebacks if you are interseted.

So how's the weather up there?
Ahh!! It's the jolly green giant run away!!!!(i usually say this to an old friend of mine as a greeting)
Well you are definetly not going anywhere near MY pot of gold!!
What? I like being a Toys R US kid.

and umumum bah I can't think of anymore I usually have more.

hope someone can put these to good use or at least get a nice laugh out of 'em

Bassoon Buddy · Post by **Bassoon Buddy** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 9:17 pm

Hey Heero..... I'm just a curious person by nature so I'm wondering.... What does semen taste like? I know it's unlikely for you to know this but if you do then tell me or if you don't then you can always ask Relena.

ThomasE.Lilac · Post by **ThomasE.Lilac** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:37 pm

I could use help with some idiots in my math class.
They always are idiots, taking my pencil, taking my book, writing on my homework....
Calling me Chris....
They're just idiots, and I need a comeback to just make then shut up cause I can barely understand them when they talk anyway.
It's like mushmouth or something.

Kaili Charmer · Post by **Kaili Charmer** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 9:54 pm

I'm 5'2" and have to put up with friends not being able to find me in a crowd, then making fun of me for it after apologizing. I just let them know how easy it is for me to get around compared to them plus a few others:

a) (if you're flexible) Watch it, my legs are short but I can still kick your head.
b) I'm half asian with a short white mother. Get over it, it was ineviteable with my genes.
c) I'm still smarter than you (in the stereotypical sense.)
d) I can still _____
1 kick your ass. 2 outrun you. 3 look hotter than you.
e) Small but mighty.
f) Short body. Big attitude.
g) (if a girl who cares about finding a taller guy) i have more selection for boyfriends.
h) at least I don't hit my head on stuff. Imagine all the brain cells saved.

There are more...but i'm tired and am going to bed now.

Melina · Post by **Melina** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 2:02 am

at least I don't hit my head on stuff. Imagine all the brain cells saved

hehe I liked that one

They're just idiots, and I need a comeback to just make then shut up cause I can barely understand them when they talk anyway

Well sense you can barley understand them you could always say "sorry I don't speak 'dumbglish' " or something but be for warned sometimes ppl don't have the best sense of humor and it can back fire.

and I'm curious but why Chris? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

ThomasE.Lilac · Post by **ThomasE.Lilac** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:31 pm

Idno he thought my name was chris so he called me that.
Then he started calling me DW because this idiot in spanish class started to for some stupid reason.
These people couldn't harm me, at least not in my class cause they attract most of my teachers attention.
Also they don't know where I live.
It seems like I have at least one idiot in every class exept Honors Bio.
I'll try that, thank you.

Blissful Ignorance

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Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

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