The Reasons Why

[Calla Lily]

Written: February 3, 2005 (7:10 am)
Note: original fiction in unedited form
Title: The Reasons Why

~~~


She doesn't know what to think about him, not sure what are the underlying forces and motives that causes her to act so unlike herself; well, at least the side that most people know and recognize her for.

They barely know each other for a full five weeks, a little over a month of conversation and even then, the first few days were spent in strangeness.

He enjoys the same things she does, some even more bizarre than she would care to confess. She lent him her possessions, she welcomed him into her home, she also confided that there were darker secrets in her past that are still unresolved.

Still, he puts up with her and walks her to her destination, time permitted. He's curious as to what she did but understands how uncomfortable it is speaking of it, so he makes a joke instead. He gave her his own possessions without hesitation.

There's a difference between him and her besides the obvious things. He'll be going where she has been before and she'll eventually be headed somewhere else. Where they are right now is No-Man's-Land, the purgatory, the transition, the middle clearing.

But one thing that causes such a stir in her is when she feels a small need to hide or to show herself when he's around. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe. Maybe not. She must appear to him a puzzle piece, thinking that the element she plays is the one that will fit into that place. Then she changes her mind for another cause.

There is a name that he calls her by, one that she's rarely heard addressed to her and it catches her by surprise. He likes to introduce her as his fiancee, sometimes in jest, sometimes - she can't tell and doesn't wish to.

He is her friend and she his, there is no confusion regarding that even if he seems and feels more liberal to the idea. A mutual connection.

So why does she feel torn when she reflects upon their friendship of so little time, the answer to that she knows. Is it possible for such things to spontaneously occur? It is because she also feels some semblence of self returning to her, but like that jigsaw puzzle, there is no looking at the whole picture until all is in place.

It may be too late to stop by then. The mirror image she sees, that she knows he will see ahead of time.

Will she accept.

[LilTrix]

That was...interesting. I thought this fic was very deep and I liked it alot.
I'm guessing the girl is in love but she just doesn't know it yet? I could be totally wrong...

[Calla Lily]

Thank you, LilTrix, this is just something that spilled out of me one day, but it's always great to hear a reply.

I'm guessing the girl is in love but she just doesn't know it yet?

To tell you the truth, the ending to this is more open-ended than decisive, especially with the last line "Will she accept" instead of writing it down as "She will accept" or even putting a question mark instead of a period.

What I was probably getting at is their mutual connection and how they just find to happen one another at a specific time and place, because god only knows if they're ever going to meet each other again afterwards.

It could be taken as the beginnings or a romance, or a deep friendship, but they both have issues/uncertainties and don't know exactly what the next level to "them" is, much less what to do about it.